Her voice carries a universal message, one that goes far beyond transgender experiences, reminding us all of the power of being authentic, open, and compassionate, both toward others and toward ourselves. What makes Angela’s journey especially powerful is her willingness to share not only her achievements, but also her doubts, vulnerabilities, and ongoing process of healing. She does not present herself as someone who has all the answers, but as someone who keeps learning, reflecting, and growing. By standing on stage and speaking openly about her life, she turns personal history into collective insight. Her work shows that visibility can be an act of service, and that honesty can change minds and hearts. Above all, Angela embodies the idea that living fully is not a destination, but a courageous, lifelong practice.
Monika: Today it is truly a pleasure and an honor for me to speak with Angela van Bebber, a Dutch transgender activist from Tilburg in the Netherlands, a businesswoman, a dedicated blogger, and the author of the powerful autobiography “Eindelijk, ik lééf!” (Finally I Live). Angela, I am very happy to welcome you here.
Angela: Hello, thank you very much for the interview. I appreciate the invitation and the opportunity to share my story.
Monika: Before we go deeper into your work and activism, I would love to start at the beginning. When you look at your life today, how would you introduce yourself to someone who is just getting to know you?
Angela: Well, where do I start. I am 62 years old and I am a transsexual woman. I came out of the closet in 2001 and had my surgery in 2006. Life has not been easy for me and I still experience repercussions from my past. In general, however, I am doing fine and I have found a way to move forward. Nowadays I give lectures and share my experiences at schools, which gives meaning to everything I have been through. I also wrote a book about my life, as you already mentioned, and I run a website called allesmagerzijn.nl. In English, you could say it simply means: it’s all good. Sharing my story helps me reflect on my own journey, and at the same time it allows others to feel less alone. That connection with people is what motivates me to keep going.
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| Her book via winkel.dirksmit.nl. |
Monika: Your book has a very powerful title, “Eindelijk, ik lééf!” which already says so much on its own. Looking back at that moment in your life, what inner need or turning point inspired you to write your autobiography in 2008?
Angela: I wanted to share the story of my life in order to give insight into what people like me go through once we discover that we are transgender. I felt there was very little honest information available at the time, and silence only creates misunderstanding. Writing the book was also a way for me to process my own past and give meaning to everything I had experienced. At the same time, I hoped it would offer recognition and support to others who were still searching for themselves.
Monika: When transgender women read your life story today, many of them are at the beginning of their own journey. Which elements of your biography do you believe can genuinely help them as they plan and navigate their transitions?
Angela: Of course, people can follow my steps and make use of my experience and expertise. But as I mentioned in the preface of my book, it is important to use the tools in your own way and remain authentic. What can really be an eye-opener is the way I brought everything out into the open, without hiding. Another important lesson is that your path will never be exactly the same as someone else’s, and that is perfectly fine. Trusting yourself is just as important as listening to advice.
Another piece of advice I always give is to try to be open toward everyone. Do not be afraid of negative reactions, because they are part of your process. People do not do anything wrong when they react, they simply respond based on their own feelings and understanding. No one can fully understand what you are going through, and that can be painful to accept. Learning to live with that reality helped me grow stronger and more grounded.
Monika: Listening to you, it often feels as if your life already contains all the elements of a powerful film, decades of living in a male body, the inner struggle, and the deep longing for womanhood. When you hear your story described that way, how does it resonate with you?
Angela: That is true, and I am always open to that idea. When I presented my book, someone once told me it would be perfect material for a movie. There are many lessons in my life that could be shared in that way. At the same time, it still feels surreal to see my own experiences framed as a story for others. It reminds me how intense and meaningful this journey has been.
Monika: Your journey has clearly not been without pain or setbacks. Where did you find the courage, resilience, and energy to keep going when things became especially difficult?
Angela: I have always had a lot of inner strength. Throughout my life, I solved my problems on my own and never experienced a burnout. I never needed someone to rescue me, because I learned to rely on myself. I still have setbacks, sometimes they last a few days, sometimes a few weeks, but I always manage to overcome them. I strongly believe that I have gone through all of this for a reason, because I am someone who wants to share experiences and teach others. On stage, I feel that I carry a universal story that many people can relate to, even beyond the transgender experience. That realization gives me the energy to continue.
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| Courtesy of Angela van Bebber. |
Monika: When you look back at the period of your transition, it was a time with far less visibility than today. Did you have any transgender role models to guide you, or did you have to find your own way entirely?
Angela: No, I really did everything by myself. I believe that everything in life has meaning and that everything happens for a reason. Of course, some people encouraged me to take certain steps, and that support mattered. But there was no role model I could look up to or follow. In a way, that forced me to trust my own instincts. Looking back now, I think that independence shaped who I am today.
Monika: Coming out is often described as a single moment, yet in reality it can be a long and complex emotional process. What was the most difficult part of your coming out, something that perhaps still stays with you today?
Angela: I still cannot fully find peace of mind when I think about my past. In many ways, I am still in survival mode, even though that is no longer necessary. That is why I sometimes feel unable to enjoy life as much as I should, and that makes me sad. Accepting that this takes time is part of the process for me. Step by step, I am learning to let go. I believe that patience with myself is something I still need to practice.
Monika: Society has changed in many ways since your transition. From your personal perspective, how do you see the current situation of transgender women in Dutch society today?
Angela: I believe that transgender women in the Netherlands do not face many serious problems compared to the past. The transgender women I know have found their way and are living their lives. Of course, challenges still exist, and acceptance is never guaranteed. But overall, I see progress and more openness than before. That gives me hope for the future.
Monika: The Netherlands has several well-known transgender women, such as Colette Berends, Romy Haag, Kelly van der Veer, Veronique Renard, and Valentijn de Hingh. Beyond individual visibility, are there people or initiatives that you feel actively contribute to building a positive and respectful image of transgender women in Dutch society?
Angela: Oh yes, absolutely. We have an organization called Transgender Netwerk Nederland, which is led by transgender women. They have been very active, for example by debating with politicians about the new transgender law. Their work is important because it connects personal experiences with political change. I truly respect their commitment and perseverance. Organizations like this help create lasting structural improvements.
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| Courtesy of Angela van Bebber. |
Monika: Your work clearly touches social and political themes, even if it is rooted in personal experience. Are you personally active in politics or lobbying, and more broadly, do you believe transgender women can truly make a difference within political spaces?
Angela: I am not actively involved in politics at the moment. I still have personal issues to deal with, and that requires a lot of my energy. However, I am convinced that transgender women can make a huge difference in politics. They can show what tolerance looks like in practice and what it means to be truly open-minded. Representation alone already changes the conversation. And when personal experience meets policy, real progress can happen.
Monika: Through your lectures, you meet a wide variety of audiences, from students to professionals. When people listen to your story, what are the questions that come up again and again?
Angela: People often ask why I chose the name Angela and why it took me almost fifty years to come out. They are also curious about the reactions of my parents, brothers, and sisters. Questions about my professional life come up as well, such as whether I lost my job because of my transition and how my colleagues responded. Especially within my family, particularly my siblings, I received very valuable lessons that I now share on stage. Those personal stories seem to resonate deeply with audiences. They often help people reflect on their own assumptions.
Monika: Love appears in many different forms throughout a person’s life, especially after profound self-discovery. What role does love play in your life today, and how has that changed over time?
Angela: Nowadays, love has become much more important in my life. I would truly like to have a partner, a woman, to share my life with. In the past, it was not easy for me to love someone, and I still struggle with loving myself fully. I am working on that now, I receive help, and I allow myself to ask for help. Before my coming out, there was no space for love at all, I simply could not access it. Learning to open my heart feels like a new chapter. It is challenging, but also hopeful.
Monika: Looking ahead, what are you currently working on, both professionally and personally? Are there any new projects that excite or challenge you at this stage of your life?
Angela: Yes, there certainly are. I have started writing a new book, and I am also developing a program that can be used in schools. At the same time, the most important project is working on myself. I want to grow, find peace of mind, and finally allow myself to enjoy life at its best. That inner work is the biggest and most difficult project of all. But it is also the most necessary one.
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| Courtesy of Angela van Bebber. |
Monika: Drawing from everything you have lived through, your transition, your setbacks, and your growth, what would you say to transgender women who are currently struggling with gender dysphoria and searching for strength?
Angela: First of all, be yourself, regardless of what other people say or think. Find the strength to talk about it and respect the opinions of those who do not agree with you, because we are all entitled to our own views. If you do that, people are more likely to respect you in return. It is not easy, but standing firm in who you are gives you inner stability. That strength will grow over time.
Also, try to be as open as possible. I have been open from the very beginning, and I never encountered serious problems, so in that sense I was lucky. I believe this also has a lot to do with the fact that I always treated people with respect and kindness, regardless of what they might think of me. Openness can disarm fear and misunderstanding. It also allows you to live without constantly hiding parts of yourself.
I wish everyone all the best, especially a lot of love for yourself and strong self-esteem. Do not forget that you are special. We have to go through very tough times, and that is why we are not average. Would you like to be average? Sometimes yes, many times no. Our experiences give us depth and resilience. Hold on to that and trust your own worth.
I wish everyone all the best, especially a lot of love for yourself and strong self-esteem. Do not forget that you are special. We have to go through very tough times, and that is why we are not average. Would you like to be average? Sometimes yes, many times no. Our experiences give us depth and resilience. Hold on to that and trust your own worth.
Monika: Angela, thank you so much for your openness, honesty, and wisdom. It has truly been an honor to speak with you.
Angela: You are most welcome. Thank you for giving me the space to share my story. I truly appreciate this conversation.
All the photos: courtesy of Angela van Bebber.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
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