Vanessa Lopez is a Chilean-born Swedish model, television personality, beauty queen, and the groundbreaking author of Jag har ångrat mig (2014), which translates to I Changed My Mind. Known for being one of the youngest transgender women to transition in Sweden, Vanessa began her journey of gender affirmation at 16 and underwent surgery by age 20. Her life story and public presence have made her one of Sweden’s most visible and outspoken transgender figures. In 2011, Vanessa rose to national fame by participating in the Swedish edition of Big Brother, where her presence sparked widespread discussion on gender diversity. That same year, she represented Sweden at Miss International Queen in Thailand, one of the world’s most prestigious beauty pageants for transgender women. Through this experience, she deepened her connection with cultures that embrace gender variance and found solidarity among international transgender sisters.
Vanessa's autobiography challenges conventional ideas about transgender identity, hormone therapy, and surgery. Drawing inspiration from the indigenous Mapuche heritage and the Native American concept of the Two-Spirit, she advocates for broader acceptance of gender diversity and self-expression beyond binary norms. She openly reflects on her own transition, questioning whether invasive medical procedures are always necessary, and calling instead for a society that honors natural gender variance.
As an activist, Vanessa has written opinion pieces, delivered public lectures, and continues to speak out against transphobia, including the marginalization of trans people within the LGBTQI community itself. She’s especially vocal about the lack of transgender visibility in Swedish media and the need for stronger representation and solidarity. A vegan and conscious fashion lover, Vanessa champions cruelty-free living and no longer wears materials derived from animals, though she still admires the aesthetics of high fashion. Her advocacy is not limited to identity politics; it extends to environmental and ethical concerns as well. Though she is not formally engaged in political lobbying, Vanessa contributes to societal change in her own way, through public discourse, media presence, and by simply being unapologetically herself. She continues to inspire others with her intelligence, charm, and a fierce dedication to redefining womanhood on her own terms.
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Interview on Malou Efter tio (TV4), a Swedish talk show hosted by Malou von Sivers. (YouTube) |
Monika: Vanessa, you’re absolutely glowing! It’s such a joy to welcome a trailblazing sister who inspires so many of us!
Vanessa: Hello, Monika! Thank you for the lovely introduction and the compliment! I'm so happy to be here and to have this conversation with you. I am a big fan of your blog! It means a lot to share this space together. It's rare to find interviews that truly celebrate our journeys with such authenticity.
Monika: Let’s begin with your autobiography. What inspired you to title it "Jag har ångrat mig"?
Vanessa: The English version would be: I Changed My Mind. A TG sister of mine once told me about the Native American two-spirit people. I started to investigate the two-spirits through books, and I found out that what she told me was true! Native Americans had multiple genders in their society. The basic ones were woman, man, female men, and manly females, who were all socially accepted. That discovery opened my eyes to the cultural richness of gender diversity throughout history. It also gave me the strength to embrace my own journey with greater confidence.
Monika: In your journey of self-discovery, have you ever imagined what your life might have been like if you had grown up in a culture that embraced gender diversity more openly, like some Indigenous communities do?
Monika: In your journey of self-discovery, have you ever imagined what your life might have been like if you had grown up in a culture that embraced gender diversity more openly, like some Indigenous communities do?
Vanessa: I’m from the native Mapuches of Chile, so I could see myself living in this deeply spiritual society where they valued gender variance. Would I have hated my gender if I had lived in that time? Absolutely not! If I had been brought up in a society like that, I wouldn’t have. Native Americans never gendered their children until the child themselves expressed their own experienced gender. They never interfered with or suppressed the child’s exploration and play. It was against their values to ever interfere in somebody’s pathway. That kind of freedom is so powerful, it shapes the very foundation of who you are. I often wonder how many lives would have been different if such acceptance were the norm today.
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| "Jag har ångrat mig" via bokus.com. |
Monika: Many trans people feel pressure to medically transition in order to be accepted or to feel at peace in their bodies. But what if that pressure never existed?
Vanessa: If nobody had ever told me that there was something wrong with me or my body, I would never have channeled that into hatred toward my gender. In our time, “gender dysphoria” is something you are expected to “fix” with hormone therapy and gender reassignment, both of which are very invasive to the body. I believe that transgender people should avoid gender reassignment and hormone replacement therapy, as the side effects of undergoing those treatments are unnecessary. We should instead work on deconstructing social norms and cultivating self-acceptance. We ought to recognize and honor nature’s ability to create gender variance as an intrinsic part of human diversity. If we embraced this truth more fully, there would be no need to alter healthy and fully functioning body parts. Learning to love ourselves without interference is one of the most radical acts of healing we can commit to.
Monika: Looking back on your journey, do you ever reflect on how societal expectations around gender influenced your decision to transition?
Vanessa: Hating my gender was because of the limiting gender constructions that exist in our time that only accept two models of humanity’s multiple variations of gender and gender expression. And if you don’t live up to those norms, there is something wrong with you. I could have lived with my boy body and with my female gender identity without any surgery. If I had only accepted that combination within myself, but I was not liberal enough at that time and didn’t have the knowledge that gives me this perspective that I have today. Therefore, I took the solution of “fixing my body” to fit my gender identity. I should have claimed my own kind of woman instead, a woman in a boy’s body living socially like a woman! Like a two-spirit! Today, I try to speak about these things to help others find their own path without shame or unnecessary pain. Embracing our uniqueness is powerful, it’s what makes us human.
Monika: In writing your autobiography, how did you decide which life experiences to highlight? Were there particular chapters of your journey that felt especially important to share with your readers?
Vanessa: I focused on the process of a teenage boy finding the pathway to becoming a woman. I was, at that time, one of the youngest in Sweden. I started the process of becoming a girl at the age of 16, at 17 I began the medical process, and at 18 I received my hormones. When I was 20, I underwent gender reassignment surgery. It was an intense period of transformation, filled with both excitement and uncertainty. Looking back, I realize how much strength it took to walk that path so young and so publicly.
Monika: Your story is full of powerful insights. Which parts of your autobiography do you think might resonate most deeply with other transgender women, especially those questioning the meaning of transition?
Monika: Your story is full of powerful insights. Which parts of your autobiography do you think might resonate most deeply with other transgender women, especially those questioning the meaning of transition?
Vanessa: The afterword is where the strongest message lies. Many transgender women say to me that they are not two-spirited, that they are only girls and that girls should have a vagina to be complete. But my question to them is always the same: why do you hate your gender? The answer is often that they feel like a woman completely and want to feel whole. But if our society wasn’t based on strict binary gender constructions that say a man should have a penis and a girl a vagina, would we feel the need to correct people’s gender identity to fit the body at all? If it were socially acceptable to have a female gender identity and live in a boy’s body, not so many would go through SRS and HRT. I believe this question opens up a much-needed conversation about bodily autonomy and cultural norms. We deserve the freedom to define ourselves without being forced to alter our healthy bodies to fit someone else’s idea of gender.
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| Courtesy of Vanessa Lopez. Photo by Bo Brinkenfalk. |
Monika: In 2011, you took a bold step by entering the Miss International Queen pageant in Pattaya, Thailand, one of the most renowned beauty contests for transgender women worldwide. What was that experience like for you, and how did it affect your view of transgender culture?
Vanessa: The social experiment of Big Brother revealed the widespread ignorance about gender diversity that exists in Sweden today. It gave me the opportunity to step into an activist role. I wrote debate articles and began giving lectures across Sweden, enlightening people about gender diversity. Later on, I published my book, and here I am today. That experience truly shaped my path and gave me a platform to raise awareness. It showed me how important visibility and education are in creating change.
Monika: In the same year you decided to join the world of beauty pageants and take part in the Miss International Queen in Pattaya, Thailand, the most spectacular beauty pageant for transgender ladies from all over the world. Did you enjoy the pageant?
Vanessa: I loved the experience of being part of a culture that honors transgender people. I mean, they have so many transgender individuals visible in media and at various levels of society. Meeting so many different transgender girls from so many different countries made it feel like a safari of beautiful, exotic transgender creatures. I felt at home and truly valued for being myself. Thailand is a great example of a society that is more tolerant toward gender variance. The way transgender women express their feminine nature there is artful. It taught me that femininity is a beautiful gift that many transgender women possess. That pageant opened my eyes to the power of community and celebration. It also inspired me to embrace my own unique expression even more fully.
Monika: Some activists criticize transgender beauty pageants, arguing that they can reinforce harmful stereotypes by focusing too much on youth and conventional beauty standards. How do you respond to these concerns, and what positive role do you think these pageants can play for the transgender community?
Vanessa: Yes, that is one negative aspect of beauty pageants, but the positive side, I believe, is that they provide a platform for transgender people to express themselves, a space where others have the opportunity to truly get to know transgender individuals. Getting to know a group of people reduces fear and prejudice, which then leads to greater acceptance. Thailand, along with other Asian countries like the Philippines, are great examples for the world in embracing gender variance. These pageants can also inspire younger transgender people to feel proud of their identity and visible in society. Ultimately, they open doors for dialogue and visibility, helping to break down barriers.
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| Courtesy of Vanessa Lopez. Photo by Bo Brinkenfalk. |
Monika: Among all the transgender beauty queens you’ve met throughout your journey, which personalities stood out to you as the most charismatic, and why?
Vanessa: I still have contact with Sahhara Henson, Miss Nigeria. She is truly charismatic and humble at the same time, so intelligent and well-educated. She won the Miss Super Sireyna crown in the amazing Philippines! It’s a new international beauty contest that honors not only transgender beauty and performance but also intelligence. They have fewer participants, which gives the audience and judges more time to get to know each contestant individually. They don’t include a bathing suit segment, which is excellent, there’s no pressure on body image! I really want to go to that competition and hope they cast me! I’ve heard that Filipino people are some of the greatest supporters of the transgender cause. It’s inspiring to see how these pageants are evolving to celebrate the whole person, not just looks.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Vanessa Lopez.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
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