Ana is a storyteller at heart, one who weaves her truth through ink and imagination. Living in the quiet reaches of Washington state, she balances a life of introspection, creativity, and self-discovery. Online, she’s known to many as MontanaPython1993, a Reddit user who documents her gender transition with both honesty and quiet grace. Offline, she is a world-builder, crafting intricate settings for tabletop role-playing games, and slowly rekindling her passion for writing after a long creative drought. Ana’s voice resonates with gentle resilience. Her reflections on transition, identity, and self-love aren’t just personal, they speak to a broader experience shared by many transgender women navigating a world that can be both beautiful and brutal.
With a sharp eye for nuance and a love for all things gothic and vintage, Ana embraces her transformation with humility, humor, and a steady kind of courage. She may describe herself as a bit of a recluse, but her words reach far beyond the walls of her home. In our conversation, Ana speaks candidly about hormones, haircuts, awkward questions, and the liberation that comes from being seen. She talks about the bittersweet nature of friendships lost, the joy of finding community in unexpected places, and the quiet power of simply continuing on. Ana may still be in what she calls “the weird middle stage” of her transition, but her perspective is anything but uncertain. This is a woman who knows where she’s going, even if the path ahead is still unfolding. It’s my pleasure to introduce you to her.
Monika: Today I’m speaking with Ana, a transgender woman who shares her transition journey on Reddit under the username MontanaPython1993. She describes herself as a writer and a role-playing hobbyist. Hi Ana, and welcome!
Ana: Hi Monika! Thanks so much for having me. I'm really excited (and a little nervous) to be here. I’ve never done something like this before, so it’s kind of a big deal for me!
Monika: Let's start with a quick introduction. How would you describe yourself to our readers?
Ana: For me, summing myself up is a bit of a chore, but I’ll try. I’m in the sticks of Washington State, I do a lot of reading, and one of my favorite pastimes is tabletop role-playing games. I’m actually quite invested in world-building for my own settings to use for Dungeons & Dragons.
I’m also a bit of a writer, currently in the process of regaining my momentum following a long and drawn-out writer’s block. I’m sort of between unemployment and not-very-stable employment. For this interview, I’ll probably end up giving long responses to the questions.
Monika: What inspired you to begin publicly documenting your transition journey on Reddit? Was there a specific moment that made you think, “I want to share this”?
Ana: I had gone through a good long stint of being excited about the results I had gotten just by making a transition in my general appearance. The first time I made a contribution to the sub, I wasn’t even on hormones, but within the first year and a half, I already felt sort of like a different person. I did another timeline that went onto Imgur (which was a lot better than using MS Paint), but then I got fearful of the possible comments and removed it. I am not a huge fan of the timeline, it was an eyesore, but I was pretty happy to share how my transition fared.
Monika: That’s understandable. How did seeing other people's posts on the subreddit influence your decision to keep sharing?
Ana: All of the women I’ve seen share on the subreddit show great outcomes, no matter the stage, because they are continuing to transition. And oftentimes, hormones combined even with just the slightest modification to how you might do your hair or even your mannerisms make quite the difference. I’ve since cut my hair, so it looks a lot different than in the most recent picture of me with straight bangs. It’s short, and honestly, not having long hair is a little liberating. I’m definitely going to document it in a future post to Reddit, and without the use of Microsoft Paint.
Monika: You've probably been asked all sorts of things since beginning your transition. What's the most awkward or invasive question you've received?
Ana: I still get the “Are you getting THE surgery at some point?” question, most times from people I’m pretty intimate friends with. Usually, I’m certain it comes from a caring place, but from strangers, it feels highly invasive.
Monika: Do you ever feel pressured to answer those questions just to make others more comfortable?
Ana: Sometimes, yes. There’s this subtle expectation to educate or reassure, even when I’d prefer not to share personal medical decisions. It can get exhausting, especially when the question comes out of nowhere.
Monika: How would you describe the current phase of your transition?
Ana: The weird middle stage, as I’d like to call it. And I only call it that because I am seven months (at the time of this interview) on my regimen, and spiro being the weird drug that it is, will be nice to let go of when I can get the necessary surgery for it. Not entirely sure what that will be, yet.
Monika: Are you happy with how hormone therapy has been going for you so far?
Ana: I’m pleased. I get the most thrill reading my blood test results. Watching which numbers fell and which numbers went up, testosterone and estradiol specifically, gave me a lot of encouragement.
Another thing I’m really pleased with was not having to take a whole lot of spiro or estradiol to get my levels to the ideal area. My testosterone was also fairly low starting out.
Monika: Are there any trans public figures or creators you look up to?
Ana: As a rule, I don’t really have any role models, but I do have a few people I very much honor, either for how they represent themselves as trans individuals or for what they put out into the world.
I really like the writers, the webcomic authors, and the actors and actresses who are trans. Jamie Clayton, who was in the now-canceled Sense8, has been amazing with making a contribution to the really low number of instances where a trans woman plays a trans woman herself, rather than a cisgender man doing the role.
Another person I really honor is Jocelyn Samara, who writes Rain, which is a webcomic detailing the lives of a trans teen and several others within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.
Monika: Was coming out difficult for you, or did it happen naturally?
Ana: I can’t say coming out was exactly hard. It’s not like I specifically don’t have anything to fear about coming out, but to the people I wished to come out to, it went sort of second nature. When I was 15, I came out to my parents as bisexual (long before transition, mind you), so I guess I just bit the bullet.
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| Showing off my inner nerd. |
Monika: Did you feel more pressure coming out as trans compared to coming out as bisexual?
Ana: At 15, it was harder, being that I was in high school. I guess I didn’t really fear coming out as trans, what I feared more was bottling it up or trying to live in stealth, constantly worrying that someone might “detect” me. So I just went with it.
Some of the friends I lost during the transition were very hard losses. But I have since gotten past it. I have a good number of supportive people, and that’s all I personally need.
Monika: How do you view the current climate for transgender women in the United States?
Ana: Better than some countries, but still much worse than numerous others. In my neck of the woods, it hasn’t posed a really huge issue at all, but that’s a more personal thing.
As a whole, our situation is one of uncertainty. We have people working to try to repress the gay and trans community in general, and it seems like those very people are calling for the witch hunt of trans people. Some things are getting better. We have an increasing number of people who are becoming sympathetic and ultimately supportive of trans issues, but we have a long way to go.
Monika: How do you feel transgender characters and stories have been portrayed so far in films, television, and literature?
Ana: Overall, the representation for us is not great. Film and television are pretty much littered with many instances of cis men playing the roles of trans women, with producers and directors making awful excuses for it. We are fraught with trans roles that are often just boiled down to sex workers or other roles that don’t do us any favors, often something humiliating, like a mentally unhinged ex-baseball player.
Monika: Can you share any examples of positive or more authentic transgender portrayals that you’ve seen?
Ana: There are a few good takeaways. I enjoyed the short web series Her Story. I enjoyed the character of Nomi Marks in Sense8. Degrassi had a trans boy named Adam Torres. Though Adam was played by a cis woman (a fact I don’t take lightly at all), his character was quite good, his overall personality was something relatable. I hope that when or if Degrassi introduces another trans character, since it’s an ongoing show even now, they pick someone who is trans to play the part. Not killing them off within the show just because the actor or actress wanted to do other stuff or their contract ran out would be nice too. We are starting to get more works that allow us to represent ourselves, so we need to work on having more of that, ultimately phasing out cis people playing roles meant for us. But then, sometimes, we take two steps back.
Monika: What are your thoughts on some recent high-profile portrayals by well-known transgender actors?
Ana: I wasn’t really pleased with Laverne Cox’s decision to portray the self-described “sweet transvestite” in the reboot of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It wasn’t even a reinvention, it was a copy, with a really bad reinvention of the soundtrack. It felt like a reminder that the humiliation of trans people in the film isn’t done and over. I had a sense of being cheated, that this was partially orchestrated by one of the more influential trans people in the film.
Monika: Are you politically active? Do you participate in any lobbying or advocacy campaigns? And do you believe transgender women can make a real difference in politics?
Ana: I vote, but other than that, I have little involvement. Right now, I’m looking to join a party and do some work writing articles for their website. The short answer to the second question would be an emphatic yes. The long answer is a drawn-out philosophical one.
In summation, I don’t think, with the debasement of US and Western politics combined with the generally worsened economic conditions, that anyone can make a truly lasting and positive difference. But are trans women capable of effecting change? Certainly.
Monika: How connected are you to your local LGBTQ community?
Ana: Not entirely. There is a support group that meets across the bridge from me, I think a once-a-month deal, but I am sort of a shut-in, so I haven’t met with them at all. Another unfortunate thing is that we either don’t have very many trans people here, or the ones who are here are in stealth. I do have a couple of trans friends whose houses I go to, where we chat and play video games, but that’s about it.
Monika: The transgender community is often included as the last letter in the LGBTQ acronym, alongside other groups. Do you think the transgender community is able to effectively promote its own cause within the larger LGBTQ movement?
Ana: The important thing is to lift up the conditions for all of us. Gay, bisexual, asexual, and queer individuals are still undermined and even treated poorly by their local communities, but we are also seeing this, arguably twofold, with the transgender and intersex communities. On one hand, I know for certain we are able to promote our cause within the group.
Monika: Do you feel pressure for the transgender community to promote its cause primarily to maintain its visibility within the LGBTQ acronym?
Ana: However, I find it trivial to be pressured to promote our cause just so we are consistently included like the rest of the abbreviation, simply for the sake of the abbreviation itself. Honestly, I thought for a while the intersection of the LGBTQ+ community was a well-established thing, but sometimes LGB individuals don’t do much better at recognizing us and our cause. Perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad for the abbreviation to be broken up. Maybe the trans, queer, and intersex communities need to have their own abbreviation, but does that really get us anywhere?
Monika: What do you think should be the main focus instead of worrying about labels and abbreviations?
Ana: We really do need to advance our struggle against the conditions being posed against us, and getting caught up with something such as an abbreviation of a community (which we are changing all the time) is not really part of that. If we are to have an abbreviation for communities whose issues are in dire need of promotion, then I’d think we should include all others who face what has been wrought by the status quo, that being the sexist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, ableist, and ultimately classist aspects of society.
Monika: Are you someone who follows fashion trends, or do you prefer to create your own style? What kinds of clothes make you feel most like yourself?
Ana: I am sort of under a rock when it comes to fashion and its trends! My mind is still stuck in 2007, and for some reason, I still think trends from a decade ago are still alive and strong.
Honestly, I sort of just buy whatever I can find at Ross or my local thrift store. It works out rather nicely because they have lots of vintage or otherwise old clothes in good condition that I really take to. I tend to mix this up with an overall goth-influenced bend. You know, plenty of black, a fair amount of darker shades of various colors. But don’t let that fool you, I have a few bright clothes I really like to wear.
In general, the liking for black clothes made with lace, velvet, or leather is sort of a habit I have kept since my teen years.
Monika: Many trans women participate in beauty pageants as a form of visibility and empowerment. What’s your opinion on transgender beauty contests?
Ana: Like fashion trends, I’m pretty out of it. Beauty pageants, in general, sort of bore me, and I don’t think the societal fixation on beauty is really healthy. As such, there probably is already pressure for models to get into the body type the pageant administration demands. It’s probably not much different with trans beauty pageants, and honestly, unless these pageants are orchestrated by trans people themselves, I’m sure the transgender contestants are not well treated.
Monika: What role does love play in your life, both romantic and otherwise?
Ana: I’m a little biased since I am in a relationship with someone I very much care for and love. I do suppose that over the course of my life I have a little more mature and sometimes bleak look on love. Romantic love is still pretty important to me, there will always be a part of me that will long for it. But just as important, if not more, is the love from family and your own inner circle.
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| After nine arduous years, I can finally apply black lipstick. |
Monika: And what about self-love, has that been a part of your journey too?
Ana: It’s important to love oneself. I’ve come closer and closer over time to doing just that. On romantic love, however, I guess I’m just not a “forever and always” type. I will be biased towards hoping a romantic relationship lasts, but to me, a romantic relationship is just one of many ways to have a bond with another human. That may not be as syrupy, but it’s as real as we are going to get with romance, and the description still does it justice.
Monika: Many transgender women have turned to memoirs as a way to preserve their experiences and share their journeys. Have you ever considered writing your own life story?
Ana: I’m going to have to! My memory of my life is fading, and even if it's just for the sake of nostalgia, I’m going to need to write a memoir or autobiography. Even if I don’t publish it, it’s important to write it. I want to keep remembering the things I’ve experienced throughout my life. I’ll do it even just for the sake of recalling an old yet familiar smell, or a certain design of a school or other type of building I remember from childhood or adolescence.
Monika: That sounds deeply personal and meaningful. Do you ever find yourself reflecting on those memories in other ways?
Ana: The only thing keeping this intact is the memory lane–type of dreams I’ve been having. I didn’t get to experience a lot of the ’90s, for instance, but the part I did experience, I wish I remembered better. This is kind of imaginative, but if there is ever an invention that accurately recollects old memories and sends them back to you so that you remember them vividly once more, I am definitely using it. It’s second-best to a present-to-past time machine, and it would be a great help in writing a memoir.
Monika: What would you say to transgender women who feel overwhelmed by the fear of transitioning, whether it's fear of discrimination, rejection, or outright hatred?
Ana: I don’t want to sound like an idealist, because we have a difficult hand we are dealt that can’t be solved with idealism. I’d say, do what you feel is best and go at your own pace. The odds are certainly stacked against you, and you are going to face many hardships. Those hardships can be cruel, unfair, and range from discomfort to real danger, but it is not worth running from transition once you realize your gender identity.
Monika: What do you think is the most painful struggle some trans people face on the inside?
Ana: The saddest hardship is the internalized one some gay and trans people experience when they repress their sexuality or gender, try to “cure” themselves, or attempt to live as a heterosexual or cis person, even at the cost of their mental and emotional health. When it comes to choosing whether to live openly as a trans person or remain stealth, you are your own best judge. Only you can decide what is safest and most fulfilling in your situation.
Monika: You mentioned living in stealth. Can you share what that experience was like for you?
Ana: For me, living in stealth was scary because I always feared someone would read me as a cis woman and then (wrongfully, I’ll add) feel they had been cheated or lied to about my trans status. That was even scarier to me than coming out.
Monika: What advice would you give to those who can’t be out because of safety concerns?
Ana: I’m not out of the frying pan at all, just by being trans, and you might find that you simply can’t be out because of your situation. Pick your poison, and bite the bullet. If you’re entering a risky situation but need to go regardless, bring friends. Bring a brother or sister. Bring a phone. No matter what, there is a large community of trans people around the world who care about our collective health, and your well-being, too.
Monika: What final message would you want every trans woman to carry with her?
Ana: Many in the trans community, if not all, take great pains in seeing any trans person on those grim body count lists. No matter who you are, and even if I don’t know you, I want you alive and well. The good news is that you’re almost certain to find a community or inner circle that becomes your friends and chosen family. My best advice is to live as an empowered individual, live with self-determination, and if you have hobbies or passions, stick with them, cling to them. Make the contributions you wish to make in the world, too!
Monika: What are your current goals or next steps? Is there something you’re actively working toward right now?
Ana: I’m trying to get out of the sticks where I live. There are few jobs, I have to go all the way to the city, three hours away, to see my endocrinologist, and healthcare for people on insurance is not great. I also want to go somewhere that has a university. I’ve been wanting to go back to school ever since getting my GED. I feel community college is the fresh start I need, and the thought of moving on to university excites me. I want to study the sciences.
Monika: And where do you see yourself in the next five to seven years?
Ana: I'm not sure if I want to be a pharmacologist at this point or an astrophysicist, but my goal is to absorb as much knowledge as I can, and maybe learn three languages. In the next 5–7 years, I see myself deep into my education. Beyond that, I certainly hope to be an all-powerful sorceress or a mad scientist by the end of my life, but I don’t have very realistic expectations.
Monika: Some say that gender-affirming surgeries are not the finish line, but a starting point for living life more fully. Do you believe that transitioning opens new doors rather than closing them?
Ana: Certainly! I’m a huge believer in self-determination, and I definitely don't think anyone’s story ends once they’ve completed all the surgeries they choose to pursue. We are all individuals with stories to tell, and those stories continue as we live our lives.
Monika: How would you describe the role of transition in the broader narrative of your life?
Ana: Our transition is best described as a chapter, a set of chapters, or even a whole act within a book. All the other chapters? They’re about the other things that define us, what makes us more than just trans people. They describe us as human beings with our own unique set of ideals and aspirations. Most people who aren’t trans need to realize that there’s more to us than our transition or our upbringing.
Monika: Ana, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Ana: Not a problem! This interview was well worth sitting down for.
All the photos: courtesy of Ana.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
