Melissa Seymour is a deeply honest and inspiring writer whose voice resonates with resilience and grace. Born in New South Wales, Australia, and now living in Melbourne, Melissa is the author of Mel’s New Life and Mark’s Pathetic Life, two emotionally rich novels that blend fiction with autobiography, capturing the complexity of gender identity, self-discovery, and the transformative power of storytelling. Since early childhood, Melissa knew she was a girl, even though the world around her didn’t yet have the language to understand her truth. Her writing reflects that lifelong journey, from a young girl misunderstood in the 1970s to a woman finally living on her own terms. Her novels, reworked and retitled for wider audiences, invite readers into a world of cliffhangers, imagination, and lived experience.
Mel’s New Life embraces the dream of becoming, while Mark’s Pathetic Life lays bare the emotional terrain of navigating life before transition. Melissa writes not only to express herself but to reach out, to help others, especially young transgender individuals, feel less alone. Her honesty about past pain, including a traumatic assault at age sixteen and a difficult first transition in 2001, offers strength to those still searching for theirs. She is a woman of warmth, integrity, and quiet power, who believes that loving oneself is the beginning of everything. In this candid conversation, Melissa shares her love of purple and pink, her admiration for trans icons like Jazz Jennings, Eli Erlick, and Kim Petras, and her dream of one day opening a support center for those struggling with gender identity. She reminds us that our stories matter and that even when life feels interrupted or incomplete, it can still be written, one brave chapter at a time.
Monika: It’s my pleasure and honor today to welcome Melissa Seymour, a novelist from New South Wales, Australia, known for her books Mel's Fantasy Life (2016) and Mark's Real Life (2017). Hello, Melissa! Could you start by telling us a bit about where you live now and any updates about your novels?
Melissa: Hi Monika, Thanks, I now reside in Melbourne, Victoria, which is an awesome place to live. My novels have been renamed for a new broader website I have discovered. The names are now “Mel’s New Life” and “Mark’s Pathetic Life,” that is due for worldwide release July 30th, 2017 as I have made some minor adjustments.
“Mel’s Fantasy/New Life” is the first in my series, each part allows the reader to use their imagination as I stop sections abruptly. I also end each part on a Cliff-Hanger to hopefully maintain interest. “Mark’s Real/Pathetic Life” is from 1965-1999, part 2 from 2000-2016 is currently being written. I intend to write a chapter of one novel per year about the previous year 2017 onwards.
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| Mel's New Life |
Monika: Could you please tell us a little about yourself and your journey?
Melissa: I have known since I was 5 years old that I was a girl, but I felt like a freak or weird. It wasn’t until I was 9 that I first heard the word “Transsexual,” and I knew then. I have been a loner most of my life, mainly because of an assault when I was 16, which gave me trust issues. I love to write and watch DVDs, but I also enjoy going out with my friends, whether shopping, seeing movies, or maybe going to the beach. Writing has always been a way for me to express myself and connect with others, even when I felt isolated.
Monika: Do you think there is such a thing as transgender literature? What does it mean to you to be a transgender writer?
Melissa: Yes, there is a lot out there now, which is good. I feel that writing our stories helps others questioning their identity to realize they are not alone, freaks, or weirdos. Sharing these experiences is a powerful way to build understanding and community for those still finding their way.
Monika: Your first book, Mel's Fantasy Life, is fiction, but it includes your friend’s transition story from late 1950s Australia. What inspired you to share her story?
Melissa: I wanted to show young people what it was like for those who were considered “Different” and what they were subjected to in order to be “Normal,” whatever normal is. Her courage in the face of such adversity was something I felt needed to be told, to inspire others to embrace their true selves despite society’s harsh judgments.
Monika: What was it like to be a trans woman in Australia during that time period?
Melissa: It was a very difficult time for her. She never mentioned if she knew of any other transsexuals in the 1950s, but she was lucky to have her sister and girlfriend. I did leave some things out that I found rather sickening and not suitable to include. It’s heartbreaking to think about the isolation and fear many endured back then without the support that exists today.
Monika: Mark’s Real Life is an autobiographical book. You share a lot about your personal life there. What was it like to be so open?
Melissa: Yes, I have been open, but again have left out some things that I feel are too personal or not suitable, especially things that my first girlfriend and I got up to, those are only for us both. Writing openly has been a healing process, though, allowing me to come to terms with my past and embrace who I truly am.
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| Mark in 2006. |
Monika: When did you begin your transition, and what were the biggest challenges you faced along the way?
Melissa: The first time, I was 35, in 2001, which was not successful, I re-transitioned back to male in 2005. This time around was in 2014 and has been much easier and more accepting as well. I am writing part 2 of my Real/Pathetic Life and will detail my first time around. June 15th, 2017 is my third anniversary. It's amazing to look back now and see how much growth and self-understanding has taken place since then.
Monika: During your transition, did you look up to any transgender role models for guidance or inspiration?
Melissa: Not my first time, but this time, strangely, Jazz Jennings is one and so is Eli Erlick, both, in my mind, are very strong young ladies. Seeing them thrive has helped validate my own experience in many ways.
Monika: Are there any transgender women today whom you especially admire or find inspiring?
Melissa: I truly admire and respect Kim Petras, as she was able to live her life her way from a young age, and I think she still holds the record for being the youngest person ever to have her gender surgery. We both follow each other on a social media site and do message each other at times, she has been very helpful to me lately. She made my birthday, as I woke up to find that she had followed me. It's those small moments of connection that can make such a big difference.
Monika: What did you find to be the most difficult part of coming out as transgender?
Melissa: Trying to tell others that gender identity and sexual orientation are totally different things. It was exhausting having to explain it over and over again, especially to people who didn’t want to understand.
Monika: In recent years, we’ve seen more transgender women thrive, in entertainment, politics, academia, and beyond. As Laverne Cox beautifully said, “Trans is beautiful.” Do you think we’re witnessing a true societal shift, or are we just beginning to scratch the surface?
Melissa: I think both, depending on where people live. Here in Australia, it is acceptable to be transgender, but I have found in many other countries, it is still against the law to be “different.” We should be helping educate those. I still feel that education is key, even here in Australia. Here is an example: in 2015, I became friends with a then-15-year-old trans girl who lived in New South Wales, Australia. I asked her personal questions, but she got offended and unfriended me. I was unable to explain that I had never known any teen trans girls in Australia and therefore had no idea how hormone replacement therapy worked. The good thing is, though, she was the inspiration behind my first novel. The experience reminded me how fragile and powerful visibility can be, especially for younger people in the community.
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| Mark's Pathetic Life |
Monika: The transgender cause is often grouped together with broader LGBTQ+ advocacy. As the second-to-last letter in the acronym, do you think the transgender community is able to effectively highlight its unique issues within the LGBTQ+ movement?
Melissa: Yes and no, it depends on the situation, but if we all stuck together, then we could educate the world. I have found that there are elements of our community who do not agree that trans people exist and will not accept us. I have been abused by some. There’s still a long way to go, even within our supposed allies’ circles.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender people are portrayed in the media, whether in news stories, books, or films?
Melissa: Some have been fine, but I have noticed that we are seen as a joke by others, and we are therefore picked on for minor reasons, the bathroom issues are one. I generally find that we are finally starting to be seen as real and genuine and not a threat to most. Media representation has improved, but missteps still happen far too often.
Monika: Have you ever been involved in any advocacy or lobbying efforts? And do you believe transgender women can bring meaningful change to the political arena?
Melissa: I don’t normally, but will if I feel it needs to be. I certainly do, we need more to stand up and be vocal. Even one strong voice can inspire others to find their own.
Monika: Do you enjoy fashion? What types of clothes do you gravitate toward, and are there any specific brands, colors, or trends you love?
Melissa: I do. Usually, I just wear whatever I feel is most comfortable to suit the weather, although we are well known to have four seasons in one day here. I don’t have any favorites, I just buy whatever looks good and fits me. Pink and purple are my two favorite colors. I’m not really up with trends but need someone to help me there. Clothes are a form of self-expression, and I like to dress for how I feel that day.
Monika: What’s your perspective on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think they empower women or simply reinforce stereotypes?
Melissa: If they are tastefully done, then yes, but to me, I find that a lot of people will only perv on us, just like they do with cisgender pageants. It’s important that these events are framed with dignity and respect, not just spectacle.
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| Megan (Melissa) in 2001 for Glamour shoot. |
Monika: In your view, what role does love play in your life today? Has your understanding of love evolved over time?
Melissa: I feel the most important love is to love ourselves fully and unconditionally first, before thinking about allowing others to love us. I am not that interested in finding anyone, especially as I let the two most important loves of my life go. Self-love is the foundation that makes everything else possible.
Monika: Are you currently working on any creative or personal projects that you're excited about?
Melissa: Yes, my next three novels, re-raising my surgery money, and I do hope to open a support center for those struggling with their identity and/or orientation, but that is a pipe dream and several years off yet. These goals keep me focused and give me a sense of purpose.
Monika: What advice would you give to young transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria and seeking clarity?
Melissa: Be open and honest with yourself. The younger you transition, the better the hormones will help develop your feminine features, even if you still gravitate toward females, that should not stop you. Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different and separate things. Understanding this difference can be life-changing and empowering.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame once told me that we shouldn't limit our dreams based on how we were born, or by what we see other trans people doing. “Our dreams shouldn't end on the operating table,” she said, “that's where they begin.” Do you share this perspective?
Melissa: I totally agree with her. I am so looking forward to my life beginning. Surgery isn’t the finish line, it’s the door to a whole new chapter.
Monika: Melissa, thank you so much for sharing your journey and reflections with us today. It’s been a real pleasure.
Melissa: Thank you, Monika, for the opportunity. It has been a pleasure to be able to share. Conversations like this mean a lot and help create understanding.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
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