Monika: Today I am going to chat with Marie, a German transgender woman that shares her transition story on social media. Hello Marie!
Marie: Hello and I'm grateful for the opportunity to tell my story.
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Marie: Yes, of course, I'm Marie and I love being myself. It was a long and really hard ride to realise that I could make my wish and dream come true. I lost my family but that's okay. If they don’t love me, then I will go and live my life on my own.
I am really happy that so many people in the village where I live support me. Now I'm an idol for all the women here and I love it. Being known as a lonely sad boy with such a good heart and being a lovely person, I lived through a horrible past but I have won the fight to be what I already was in my mind and heart.
Monika: Why did you choose Marie for your name?
Marie: I don't want my old life to fade away, so I took my time thinking about my name. And there it was. The name was shown to me like a vision and it felt really good. I was in love with it, beautifully female and old. Also it was a name from the Bible, so I was really happy and proud to have such a cute and fitting name to call myself.
Monika: What inspired you to share your intimate life moments on social media?
Marie: I wanted to show what the reality of being a transwoman is, and how hard we fight for our goals and what we dream of. I want to make people realize that we are normal human beings and that we only want to live the life that we have always dreamed of.
Monika: Do you get many questions from your followers? What do they ask for?
Marie: No, I don’t. I only get compliments.
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| Marie's transition timeline. |
Monika: We all pay the highest price for the fulfillment of our dreams to be ourselves. As a result, we lose our families, friends, jobs, and social positions. Did you pay such a high price as well? What was the hardest thing about your coming out?
Marie: Yes, I paid a high price. I lost many friends and my whole family but I'm free now.
Monika: Are you satisfied with the effects of the hormone treatment?
Marie: I was unsure if it would fulfil my dream but now I'm really happy about my changes and how I look.
Monika: We are said to be prisoners of passing or non-passing syndrome. Although cosmetic surgeries help to overcome it, we will always be judged accordingly. How can we cope with this?
Marie: I would say you need to do what makes you happy. Let them talk; they do not know how it is to be transgender and what it does with your mind over a long time. Be yourself against all odds.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models that you follow or followed?
Marie: Oh yes, there are many, but my favourites are Instant Victoria and Bubblegum Bitch.
Monika: Do you remember the first time when you saw a transgender woman on TV or met anyone transgender in person?
Marie: Yes that was before my outing at the age of 27 when I saw a transgender woman for the first time, and I thought that's it, I want to be like her.
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| "I want to make people realize that we are normal human beings" |
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Marie: Here in Germany we can live relatively normal lives. The hate against us is not so bad like in Russia or so but also here you can find people who hate us and tell us that we're bad people. I'm fighting for our rights so that we can live more in peace.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colours or trends?
Marie: I'm not that kind of girl. I wear nothing out of the ordinary. But I have a passion for dresses, skirts and pantyhose.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Marie: I'm not that talented for that.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Marie: Yes, of course I'm happy about every single positive comment.
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
Marie: This was awesome. I got a job that I have been doing for the last 10 years. So now everybody knows me as a female.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
Marie: Be yourself, self-confident and honest to yourself and all people that surround you.
Monika: Are you involved in the life of the local LGBTQ community?
Marie: I'm a board member of TIM (Trans Inter Mecklenburg), a German group of young people and we educate other people about the transgender community.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Marie: Love is really important to me. I want to be loved, so I can share my love too.
I feel underloved so much that I would like to find my partner for the rest of my life.
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| "You have to work hard for your dreams." |
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Marie: My past was a horror story. I don't want to share it because it's too traumatic.
Monika: What is your next step in the present time and where do you see yourself within the next 5-7 years?
Marie: Hmmm, I don't know I'm working for a future that is worth living for. I would say life comes as it comes.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Marie: Trust yourself and be yourself. Love yourself and do not hate. Your body is your tool, use it to get happy.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Marie: I think nothing in this life comes easy. You have to work hard for your dreams. I have paid a high price to be happy and if it has to take 30 years or more, do not hesitate to follow your dream.
Monika: Marie, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Marie: Thank you it was a pleasure and honor to be interviewed. You're welcome!
All the photos: courtesy of Marie.
© 2021 - Monika Kowalska
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