Monika: What do you think about the moral judgments people impose on porn and those who work in the industry?
Becca: If someone chooses to believe porn is immoral, that is their prerogative, but it’s not acceptable to impose those views on others or shame them for their choices. Unfortunately, shame is a very real and harmful force in society today. It is often used to take away people’s dignity and sense of worth, which is something we absolutely must challenge and stop.
Monika: How has shame personally affected you, both as a transgender person and as someone in the porn industry?
Becca: Shame is something many transgender people, including myself, have struggled with. I felt ashamed and embarrassed about being transgender for most of my life, and I’ve also been shamed for working in porn and associating with people in the industry. This caused me to question everything about myself and dragged me back to dark places I fought so hard to escape from. I allowed that shame to affect me deeply, and that’s just not okay. Shame kills; it eats away at the core of who we are.
Monika: How did you overcome those feelings of shame and negativity?
Becca: I’m still the same person I’ve always been, and in fact, I’d say I’m a better person now because I’m genuinely happy. I’m still kind, caring, and hold the same morals and values. What’s changed is that I’ve gained tremendous self-confidence, learned to love myself, and found my passion, to be a strong voice for both my community and my industry. None of these positive changes would have been possible without the acceptance, respect, and love I found in the porn industry.
Monika: Do you believe that working in porn has a negative impact on how the trans community is perceived?
Becca: To answer your question directly, no, I don’t believe working in porn creates a negative image of the trans community. Porn has existed forever and isn’t going anywhere. It’s important to remember that it’s not just trans people who work in the industry; many different people do. The industry actually benefits many within the trans community by providing employment and boosting self-confidence.
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| 2017 Transgender Erotica Awards Pre-party, taken by Daily Celeb. |
Monika: Can you elaborate on the benefits the porn industry offers to transgender people?
Becca: The industry provides work for many trans people who have struggled to find employment after coming out. It often opens doors to opportunities beyond porn. Perhaps most importantly, it helps many of us gain self-confidence and feel good about ourselves. I know some might think I’m shallow for letting compliments about my looks or body matter, but I hated my body for most of my life, and porn helped me develop a healthy self-image. That transformation has truly changed my life in countless ways.
Monika: What is your response to those who criticize porn but seem unfamiliar with the industry or its workers?
Becca: In my experience, the loudest critics of porn often have little actual knowledge of the industry or have never spent time with those who work in it. Their claims tend to be baseless. Honestly, there are far more pressing issues facing the trans community than worrying about porn. We should focus our energy on fighting discrimination, inequality, and violence instead.
Monika: Have you ever participated in transgender beauty pageants? What are your thoughts on these contests?
Becca: I’ve never participated in a transgender beauty pageant, mainly because I didn’t even know they existed until a few years ago. I think, in some ways, it would be a fun experience, but I also know there can be a lot of stress involved in beauty pageants, and I’m not sure I’d want to deal with that. I hadn’t seriously considered it until you asked this question, so maybe I just might enter a pageant! I know many people view beauty pageants as degrading to women because they objectify them, and I suppose there might be some truth to that, but they can also be seen as empowering by celebrating the beauty of women. I guess it all depends on how you choose to view them.
Monika: At what age did you start your transition, and how would you describe the overall process?
Monika: At what age did you start your transition, and how would you describe the overall process?
Becca: I began hormone replacement therapy (HRT) in 2010 but didn’t start living full-time as a woman until 2012. I made the decision to wait to transition until my youngest son graduated high school, but I ended up starting shortly before he graduated because I just couldn’t hold off any longer. I was always very conscious of only being seen with him in male mode when out in public because I never wanted to cause him any embarrassment if his friends found out I was transgender. Looking back, I realize how important it was for me to protect him during that time.
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| Prior to transitioning, firefighter, 1982. |
Monika: Were there aspects of transitioning that you found easier or more difficult than you had expected?
Becca: In some ways, transitioning seemed easier than I expected, especially early on, but in other ways, it was more difficult than I had anticipated. We’ve all heard too many stories of trans people losing family, friends, or jobs when they come out, but initially, I felt very lucky because the people in my family who mattered fully supported and accepted me. I also had a great job at a university, working with wonderful people who accepted me, so I thought I would be one of the lucky ones who didn’t lose too much. That initial support gave me hope and strength to move forward.
Monika: Did you face any unexpected challenges during your transition?
Becca: Unfortunately, that quickly changed when my job at the university was unexpectedly reclassified soon after I began living full-time as a woman, and I found myself unemployed. Having worked at the university for 11 years, I was confident I’d be able to get another job there, but it proved to be much harder than I thought. As the months went on, dealing with unemployment and constant rejection became very difficult, and my depression worsened, which of course made it harder to interview well. This period tested my resilience in ways I hadn’t anticipated.
Monika: How did you cope with those challenges, and did you have to make any major changes?
Becca: After two and a half years of trying to find a job in Missouri without success, I decided to move to Oregon to get a fresh start in a state more open and accepting of transgender people. However, I didn’t fare much better there; the only job I could get was detailing cars. Eventually, I realized I had to try a new approach to finding work before I ended up harming myself. I decided to focus on industries where being trans wasn’t viewed negatively, and the adult entertainment industry was an obvious choice, which led to my career in that field. This decision was a turning point in my life that gave me renewed hope.
Monika: What were the early stages of your transition like emotionally and socially?
Becca: The early stages were tough as I was learning who I was and gaining confidence the more I ventured out as Rebecca. The stares, comments, and being called “sir” were painful, but I learned to develop a thick skin out of necessity. As time went on, I grew more comfortable with myself, and modeling helped me gain a much-needed boost in self-confidence, which changed my life. As difficult as transitioning was at times, it was absolutely worth it to get to the point where I could live authentically, find happiness, and peace of mind. Every step has shaped me into the person I am today.
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| In the army. |
Monika: During your transition, did you have any transgender role models who inspired you or guided you?
Becca: I wouldn’t say I had role models in the traditional sense, but I found a lot of support and inspiration from friends I connected with online through reading blogs. These people were a huge source of support and information for me. When I began my transition in 2010, there was nowhere near the amount of information and resources available as there are now. Having access to those blogs made a significant difference during a very uncertain time in my life.
Monika: How do you feel the availability of transgender role models and resources has changed since then?
Becca: I knew about pioneers like Christine Jorgensen and Rene Richards, but I didn’t have anyone like Janet Mock, Jen Richards, or Kristin Beck to look up to as examples and inspiration back then. We’ve come a long way in the past five years, and it’s heartening to see that today’s generation of trans people are finding more acceptance, with an infinite amount of information and support available to them. This progress gives me hope for the future of the community.
Monika: Are there any transgender women today whom you admire or look up to?
Monika: Are there any transgender women today whom you admire or look up to?
Becca: Kristin Beck was an early inspiration for me because I saw many similarities between our lives, and I deeply respect her military service as a Navy SEAL. Beyond that, I admire all she has done since retiring, including her work toward repealing the ban so trans people can serve openly in the United States military. Her courage and advocacy have made a real impact in the community.
Monika: Aside from well-known figures, who else do you find inspiring within the transgender community?
Becca: Shane Ortega is another person I greatly respect, being the first openly trans person to serve in the military and for all he has sacrificed, not only for his country but also for the trans community. But in all honesty, the trans people I admire most aren’t the famous ones; they are the individuals living anonymously, struggling with challenges like loss of family support and employment, yet who make the effort every day to keep going. Their resilience truly inspires me.
Monika: Looking back, what was the most difficult part about coming out as transgender?
Monika: Looking back, what was the most difficult part about coming out as transgender?
Becca: The scariest part of coming out was telling my sons. I raised them by myself for most of their lives, and we’d always been very close. I knew in my heart they would always love me, but there was still a lingering doubt in the back of my mind, especially after hearing so many stories of people disowned by their families when they came out. Thankfully, they were completely accepting and supportive of me, and they just wanted me to be happy. This gave me incredible strength during that difficult time.
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| "Studio-selfie" I took in 2015. |
Monika: How did your extended family react to your transition?
Becca: My mom, who raised my sister and me after our parents divorced, is very conservative and Republican, so it took her a little time to accept it. However, she has since fully supported and accepted me, which means a lot. On the other hand, my father never accepted me, which I expected since we had never been close, but that still hurt deeply. Family dynamics can be complicated, especially in situations like this.
Monika: Were there any relationships that were especially painful to lose during your transition?
Becca: The most difficult part has been that my youngest son and my sister, who initially accepted me, no longer speak to me and have made it clear they don’t want me in their lives anymore. That is a pain I carry every single day. I think we all enter transitioning knowing we might lose a lot, but no one can ever fully prepare for or understand the depth of pain when people who once cared about you no longer want anything to do with you. Despite this, I try to focus on the love and support I do have, which keeps me going.
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