Sunday, July 9, 2017

Interview with Laura Smith

Laura

Laura Smith is a resilient and inspiring transgender woman from the United Kingdom who has been courageously documenting her transition journey under the Reddit handle inharmony123. At 49 years young, Laura embodies the spirit of a late bloomer, showing that it is never too late to embrace one’s true self. Nearly three years into hormone therapy, she shares her experiences openly to inspire others transitioning later in life, encouraging them to find hope and beauty in their own transformations. Laura’s story is one of strength, authenticity, and grace. Coming from a religious background, her decision to live openly as her authentic self came with profound challenges, including estrangement and the fear of losing everything she held dear. Yet, through it all, Laura remains steadfast, offering compassion and patience to those around her while holding her head high in the face of adversity. Her journey is not just about physical transformation, but about reclaiming her spirit and joy.
 
Passionate about fashion and self-expression, Laura effortlessly balances casual elegance with moments of glamorous flair, embracing colors and styles that celebrate her femininity and radiant personality. She believes deeply in the power of love, as an essential, binding force that fuels resilience and human connection. With a keen awareness of the social challenges transgender people face, Laura hopes to contribute to greater understanding and acceptance by sharing her honest reflections and everyday realities. Her journey is ongoing, with hopeful steps toward further medical support and an unwavering dream of living fully and authentically, exactly as she was meant to be. This interview invites you to walk alongside Laura, to glimpse the courage it takes to become your true self, and to celebrate the beauty found in every stage of transformation.
 
Monika: Today, I’m honored to speak with Laura Smith, a courageous transgender woman who openly shares her transition journey on Reddit as inharmony123. Welcome, Laura!
Laura: Hi Monika!
Monika: Could you introduce yourself to our readers and tell us a little about your journey so far?
Laura: I’m 49, single, and have been on hormones for nearly three years. I live in the United Kingdom. It’s been quite a journey discovering who I truly am. Every day brings new challenges and small victories, and I’m learning to embrace them all. Sharing this part of myself feels empowering and healing.
Monika: What inspired you to share your transition story on Reddit, especially as someone transitioning later in life?
Laura: As an older woman transitioning, I wanted to inspire others who transition later in life and show them that there is hope even for those late bloomers. So, what better way than to show people what could be done with makeup and our appearance to make it possible to pass and blend in public? It’s important to break the myth that transition has an age limit. I want to be proof that transformation and happiness can happen at any stage. Social media gives us a platform to connect and support each other through this unique journey.
Monika: Your Reddit community must be quite curious about your process. What are some of the most common questions they ask you?
Laura: They often ask where I get my hair and what makeup I use. It’s funny because these questions show how much people want practical advice to help them feel confident. I try to answer as honestly as I can because I know how important these little details are. Makeup and hair can really boost self-esteem during transition, and sharing tips creates a sense of community. It’s a joy to help others navigate these steps with me.
 
Laura2
"Transgendered people are becoming
more mainstream, thanks to the media."
 
Monika: Have you ever encountered any unusual or surprising questions from your audience?
Laura: The strangest question I ever got was, “Are you a magician?” Of course, I’m not! It made me laugh because it’s such a whimsical way to express disbelief. But I understand why some people might feel that way, transition can seem like a kind of magic to those who don’t know the reality behind it. It reminds me to stay patient and educate with kindness. Every question, no matter how odd, opens a door for understanding.
Monika: How satisfied are you with the changes you’ve experienced through hormone therapy?
Laura: Yes, mostly. Obviously, we all want bigger boobs, but I have good genes, and although I’m older, my body and mind are adjusting well, so things can only improve over time. Hormone therapy has brought many positive changes beyond the physical, it’s helped me feel more aligned with myself inside and out. There are always highs and lows, but overall, it’s a healing process that I deeply appreciate. Patience is key, and I remind myself that every step counts. 
Monika: Do you follow or look up to any transgender role models in your journey?
Laura: Fortunately, no, most of them are out of touch with real living! I prefer to carve my own path rather than compare myself to others. It’s important for me to stay authentic and true to my own experience. Everyone’s journey is different, and sometimes the best inspiration comes from within. I find strength in my own resilience and the small moments of joy I create each day.
Monika: We all often pay a very high price to live authentically as ourselves. Many transgender people lose family, friends, jobs, and social status along the way. Did you have to pay such a price too? How did it affect your relationships, and what was the hardest part of coming out for you?
Laura: I’m from a religious background, and my coming out to my family did not go down well at all. It was a painful experience, and in fact, I had to leave home by force to protect myself. My immediate family has been accepting of my decision, which has been a great source of comfort and strength for me. Some relatives are still struggling to understand, but I’m giving them the space and time they need to see the real, authentic woman I now am. They say you have to be prepared to lose everyone, and mentally facing that possibility is crucial, even if it doesn’t ultimately happen.
Monika: That sounds incredibly difficult. What was the hardest thing about telling people, especially those close to you?
Laura: The hardest thing about coming out was worrying about how people would react to such life-changing news. For example, my sister thought I had cancer or some other serious illness when I told her, completely unaware of what was really happening, bless her. Over time, coming out to more people becomes easier as family and friends gradually learn about your decision to transition and begin to accept it. I still face the possibility of losing my job because of my transition, but honestly, it’s all worth it just to become my authentic self and live truthfully.
Monika: How would you describe the current situation for transgender women in the United Kingdom? Do you feel society is becoming more accepting?
Laura: The situation is improving all the time, society here is changing. Transgender people are becoming more mainstream, thanks to the media. We are no longer hidden and ostracized by society in general. However, there are still challenges and prejudices that many of us face daily, especially in workplaces and healthcare. Progress is steady but sometimes slow, and visibility helps break down old stigmas. I’m hopeful that future generations will grow up in a more understanding world.
Monika: What are your thoughts on how transgender stories and characters have been portrayed in films, newspapers, and books up to now?
Laura: To be fair, the media often portrays a distorted view of the reality of being transgender. No wonder society doesn’t understand the majority of those transitioning in their community. It reminds me of going into the ‘Hall of Mirrors’ at the fairground. You only get a distorted picture of yourself when you look into those mirrors, which is never a true reflection of the person standing before it. It’s the same with us. This misrepresentation can cause misconceptions and create barriers to acceptance. We need more authentic stories that show the full spectrum of transgender lives, the struggles, the joys, and the everyday reality. Only then can understanding deepen.
Monika: The transgender community is often grouped within the larger LGBTQ umbrella. Do you think transgender people can effectively advocate for their unique issues within this broader community?
Laura: I have never really been involved in the LGBTQ community. I prefer to navigate my journey independently, focusing on what feels right for me personally. Sometimes, the larger group’s priorities don’t always align with the specific challenges transgender people face. That said, solidarity can be powerful, and I respect those who find strength in community activism. For me, it’s about living authentically day by day and finding support where it naturally comes.
 
laura3
"I'm dressed casually, although I do love to
‘glam’ it up occasionally, as most women do!"
 
Monika: Fashion can be such a joyful form of self-expression. How do you like to dress, and are there particular styles, colors, or brands you favor?
Laura: I do love fashion. Usually, I’m dressed casually, although I do love to ‘glam’ it up occasionally, as most women do! Colors… black, coral, love white, any color that matches my skin tone, is what I love most. I’m quite happy shopping high street brands. Fashion for me is about comfort and confidence, wearing what makes me feel beautiful inside and out. It’s fun to experiment, especially with accessories and makeup, to express my mood and personality. Clothes can really transform how you feel.
Monika: Love is such a fundamental part of the human experience. Could you share your thoughts on the role love plays in your life, especially during your transition?
Laura: Love, very important, it binds humanity together. It’s not something we can live without. Transitioning is lonely enough as it is, and without love as an essential ingredient, life has no purpose, does it? Love and support of family certainly help. When you take hormones, your brain gets rewired as such. Relationships are based on having connections with people, having something in common. Humanity needs humanity. For me, love has been a source of strength and healing, reminding me I am not alone. It motivates me to keep moving forward and embracing who I truly am.
Monika: Many transgender women write memoirs to share their experiences. Have you ever thought about writing a book about your own journey?
Laura: Perhaps when my journey is more complete, who knows? Writing about my experiences could be a way to inspire others and to reflect on how far I’ve come. It might also help to process everything emotionally. For now, I’m focused on living day by day, but maybe someday I’ll put pen to paper.
Monika: Many transgender women hesitate to begin their transition because they fear discrimination, judgment, or rejection. What would you say to someone who is feeling stuck in that fear and unsure whether to take the first step?
Laura: Fear stops us in many ways. It holds us back from discovering who we truly are and can leave us paralyzed. You can’t let fear become the victor. If you do, you’ll always be wondering what might have been. You will only be unhappy as a result. Living inauthentically slowly wears you down. You must become your authentic self. That is where real peace and freedom lie. Even though, at times, you face losing everything that you care about. It’s heartbreaking, but sometimes necessary for personal growth.
Monika: How can someone find strength to move forward in the face of potential loss or social pressure?
Laura: It’s not about everyone else, it’s about you. You are the one who has to live with your choices every day. Becoming your true self, that’s where happiness begins to grow. Denial is not the answer. It only delays the pain and prolongs the struggle. Facing what we are is how we begin to heal. Facing who we are, and accepting that truth, is a major step forward. It opens doors to inner peace that can’t be accessed any other way. Yes, people will stare. But you will learn to ignore them and stay focused on your own journey. Hold your head up high, you are stronger than they are. Your courage will inspire others too.
Monika: And how do you deal with the reactions of others, especially when they’re negative or rooted in ignorance?
Laura: The problem lies with them, not you. Their discomfort is not your responsibility. Regret is not a pleasant feeling. And living with it is harder than facing temporary judgment. You cannot turn back time, but you can change the future, your future. That’s where your power lies. Transition is a brave act of self-love. It’s one of the most transformative decisions you can make. It opens the door to a more fulfilling life, one filled with truth, freedom, and possibility. Surround yourself with supportive people who lift you up. Find your tribe, they will help you fly.
Monika: What are your next steps right now, and where do you envision yourself in the next five to seven years?
Laura: My next step? Seeing the Gender Identity Clinic after waiting almost 3 years. Hopefully, that can help me with surgeries and hair removal, which will improve my appearance. The future? Living as a woman as I was meant to be. Just living. I want to embrace each day with confidence and peace. I hope to find happiness not just in appearance but in every part of my life. Growth and self-discovery are ongoing, and I welcome whatever comes.
Monika: My pen friend Gina Grahame once told me that we shouldn’t limit our potential because of how we were born or by what other trans people do. She said our dreams shouldn’t end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this perspective?
Laura: SRS or GRS is major surgery. Are you more or less complete as a woman after their surgery? Perhaps? Perhaps not? As one of my friends said, “at least your knickers fit afterwards”! If that’s your sole reason for the operating table, then maybe you need to think again? Does our journey ever end? Maybe, we get absorbed into society and disappear? Surgery can be part of the journey, but it doesn’t define who we are. Completeness comes from self-acceptance and living authentically. Each person’s path is unique, and that’s okay.
Monika: Laura, it has been such a pleasure talking with you. Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Laura: Thanks, Monika, you are welcome. It’s been great to open up and share. I hope my story can offer encouragement to others. Keep shining your light!

All the photos: courtesy of Laura Smith.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska

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