Monika: Welcome, everyone! Today’s interview is with the wonderful Azora Alexander, a young and inspiring American video blogger from North Carolina. She’s been documenting her transition on YouTube, sharing both her struggles and triumphs with an ever-growing audience. Azora, it’s a real pleasure to have you here today. How are you?
Azora: Hello Monika! It is such an honor to be here.
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Azora: Well I’m 25 years old, and I live in a small town in North Carolina.
Monika: What motivated you to start sharing your transition journey on YouTube, and how has the experience evolved for you over time?
Azora: I actually started making videos about 3 years ago. They started as just makeup videos, and over time I would talk about various personal things. When I decided to start my transition, I felt that vlogging about it would not only be therapeutic but also that sharing both my good and bad experiences could help others feel less alone. It became a way for me to process everything I was going through while also providing a support system for others.
I also began receiving messages from viewers who were going through similar things, and that really motivated me to keep sharing. It’s been incredibly rewarding to create a community where people can feel accepted and heard. Plus, it’s a great way to document my journey for myself, something I can look back on as I continue to grow. Over time, I’ve gained more confidence in sharing even the harder parts of my experience, and I think it’s helped others see that they don’t have to be perfect to be valid.
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| Experimenting with new hair. |
Monika: Where are you currently in your transition, and what steps are you taking to move forward in this journey?
Azora: I am actually at the beginning stages. I’ve not started my HRT yet but am currently seeing a therapist so that I can start on them as soon as possible. I’ve been focusing on preparing myself mentally and emotionally, which is such an important part of the process. I also try to educate myself more on what to expect and how to navigate the changes. Even though I haven’t started HRT yet, I’ve noticed that my confidence has been growing, and I’m beginning to feel more aligned with myself every day. It’s a journey of patience, but I’m excited to move forward and see how everything unfolds. For now, I’m just taking everything one step at a time, knowing that I don’t have to rush it.
Monika: How would you describe your childhood, and when did you first realize that you didn’t identify with being a boy or a man?
Azora: My childhood wasn’t a bad one. As early as I can remember, I’ve always felt different. But being a child, I, of course, didn’t know what gay or transgender was, but I could always relate more to females, and as a child, all of my role models were women. As I got older and got access to more information, it became clear to me who I was and what I needed to do to fix it.
There were times when I would dress up in my sister’s clothes or pretend to be one of my favorite female characters, and it just felt right. It wasn’t until I was a bit older, around my teens, that I started to question why I felt out of place in the body I was born with. I remember feeling a deep sense of frustration, not knowing exactly what was wrong, but I knew that something had to change. Once I had more resources and people to talk to, it became easier to understand what I was going through, and I could finally accept who I really was.
Monika: For many transgender girls, school, college, and university can be the most challenging times, filled with discrimination and struggles for acceptance. Did you experience something similar, or was your experience different?
Azora: No. To be honest, I was rather blessed in the fact that I was very flamboyant in school, but no one ever really teased or taunted me. But on the flip side, I never really was able to enjoy things in school, like parties and prom, and trying out for school plays because I wasn’t ready to come out and be myself at that time. Looking back, I do realize that I missed out on a lot of experiences because I was afraid of how people would perceive me if I fully embraced who I was. I did my best to hide in plain sight, just trying to get through school without drawing too much attention to myself.
While I didn’t face much outward discrimination, the internal struggle was much harder to manage. I had to work through a lot of self-doubt, and I often felt like an outsider, not being able to fully be myself, which made everything feel a little more isolating. I think if I had been in a more supportive environment, I might have felt more confident to step into my true self earlier on.
Monika: Do you have any transgender role models who inspire you, and if so, what is it about their journeys that resonates with you?
Azora: Yes. It might sound cliché, but the women I look up to are everyday women who are still in transition, but further along than I am. Reading blogs, watching videos on YouTube, and Tumblr have inspired me more than anything. Seeing other transgender women share their stories has really helped me feel less alone and more understood. What resonates with me most is how open and honest they are about both their struggles and triumphs.
I also admire their resilience and the way they embrace themselves, flaws and all, which encourages me to keep going. It’s comforting to know that other women have faced similar challenges and are out there, thriving and helping pave the way for the rest of us. Their strength gives me hope that I too can overcome any obstacles I may face along my own journey.
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| Screenshot from the video "Cry to me". |
Monika: What was the most challenging part of your coming-out process, and how did you navigate those difficulties?
Azora: The hardest thing about coming out was telling my family. They all seem genuinely OK with it, but I know deep down there is some trepidation about my transition. I try not to let it, but it sort of makes me uncomfortable to be around them because I don’t know what they are thinking. There’s always this underlying tension that I can feel, even though they don’t say anything directly. It’s like they’re trying to be supportive, but there’s still a sense of unfamiliarity with what’s happening, which can be hard to deal with.
I’ve tried to keep an open line of communication with them, but it’s still a bit awkward at times, especially when they don’t know how to refer to me or talk about my transition. I wish I could read their minds just to know if they’re truly comfortable with it or just trying to be polite. The uncertainty of not fully knowing where they stand has been the hardest part for me, but I’m hopeful that as time goes on, things will settle into a more natural dynamic.
Monika: How do you view the current state of transgender women’s rights and visibility in American society, and what progress do you think still needs to be made?
Azora: I think that overall we still have a long way to go, but we have made some tremendous progress as far as we have transgender beauty pageants, transgender actresses and actors, transgender politicians, etc. It’s great to see that we’re starting to have more representation in media and politics, but there’s still a lot of work to be done when it comes to acceptance and understanding. We’ve made strides in areas like healthcare, but there are still states where transgender people face severe legal barriers and discrimination. For instance, the fight for access to gender-affirming care and protection from discrimination in employment is far from over.
There’s also the issue of societal perception, while things are better than they were, there are still many people who don’t see us as equals, and that’s something we need to change. We need to continue advocating for education, so people can understand that transgender women deserve the same rights and opportunities as everyone else. As visibility increases, I hope we can create more spaces where people can see us as fully realized human beings, not just as tokens or labels.
Monika: We’re seeing more and more transgender women come out into the public eye, and many have achieved celebrity status or recognition in their fields, such as Lana Wachowski in film, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you think this trend will continue, with even more transgender women becoming prominent figures in the future?
Azora: Oh, absolutely! Just the other day while browsing YouTube, I found a couple of videos by two different trans women. One of which was saying she had been cast in a part in an all-trans cast of a TV show in Canada, and another who works in animation and she had worked on a show that comes on Fox. It’s amazing to see that more doors are opening for us, especially in industries where transgender people were once excluded or overlooked.
I think the more we show up and take up space, the more we’ll inspire future generations to follow in our footsteps. As representation becomes more normalized, more transgender women will have opportunities to shine in all kinds of professions, whether in front of the camera, behind the scenes, or in other fields. I believe that in the years to come, the world will not only accept us but celebrate our achievements, as they should. The tide is changing, and it feels like we’re just getting started!
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| Screenshot from the video "Cry to me". |
Monika: Do you think that in our lifetime we could live until the day when a transgender lady could become the President of the USA?
Azora: Honestly no. I’m not saying it won’t happen I just don’t see it. The way I look at it is, it took 232 years to get a black president, and he is mixed.
This country has become a lot more tolerant of a lot of things, but I don’t think that in the next 60 years or so, the majority of this population will be ready for an MtF president. Unfortunately, We still have a lot of ignorant paranoia to overcome.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Azora: I love fashion. Personally, I prefer a mix of different styles. In everyday wear, I like jeans, a tank top, and a cardigan. Or a nice top with dolman sleeves. Something stylish but comfortable. For going out or parties and such I like classic silhouettes. Little black dress or something with clean lines.
Monika: How do you feel about transgender beauty pageants, and do you think they play an important role in empowering transgender women?
Azora: I think they are lovely. If I thought I was pretty enough, I might even consider entering one someday. Beauty pageants are a way to showcase not just physical beauty but also confidence and self-expression, which are really important for transgender women, especially in a world that can sometimes be unkind to us. I think it’s wonderful to see pageants where transgender women are able to shine and show the world that we belong in spaces like that too. It’s about celebrating our identity and the hard work we’ve put into our transition, not just the outward appearance.
For many trans women, these pageants offer a unique opportunity to feel validated and to be proud of who they are, both inside and out. However, I also think it’s important to remember that beauty comes in many different forms, and we should never feel like we have to conform to a particular standard to be seen as beautiful.
Monika: Do you participate in any local LGBT community activities, or do you feel that distance and other factors make it challenging to be actively involved?
Azora: At the moment I am not. I live in the country and it’s about an hour’s drive to the nearest city that has any LGBT organizations and right now it’s just too much of a drive right now. Still, I try to stay connected online and support the community in any way I can.
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| Working on her makeup skills. |
Monika: Do you see marriage and starting a family in your future, or are you more focused on personal growth right now? How important is love in your life, and what role do you hope it will play as you move forward?
Azora: One day if I find the right guy and things work out absolutely. But right now I’m being kind of selfish, and only thinking of myself haha. I feel like I need to focus on my own growth and happiness before bringing someone else into the picture. Love is important to me, but I believe it should come at the right time and with the right person.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are afraid to begin their transition due to fear of discrimination and hatred? How can they find the strength to move forward?
Azora: Being at that stage myself, I would say that you have to stay focused and be aware of your surroundings. Surround yourself with supportive people even if it is just online, and be safe. Don’t worry about people calling you names and such foolishness, because they are going to do that regardless.
Monika: What are your next steps right now, and where do you envision yourself in the next 5 to 7 years? Do you have any specific goals or dreams you're working toward?
Azora: My next step is to start my hormones. In the next five to seven years I hope to be living in a different city and making progress in the field of social work.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Azora: Yes I can. Of course, I’m just starting on this journey, so I believe that there is much more happiness and peace to be found as I grow older, but I am content where I am right now.
Monika: Azora, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
All the photos: courtesy of Azora Alexander.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
