Birdy Reene is an American video blogger who documented her gender transition on YouTube. She works as a home health aide and has interests in video games, anime art and manga. Reene began questioning her gender around age nine or ten and came out to her family at 14, but her father strongly rejected her identity, leading her to suppress her feelings for several years. As an adult, Reene began her transition and, inspired by her friend and roommate Sour Skiddlez, started documenting the experience online. Reene uses her online presence to promote transgender visibility and challenge negative perceptions of transition. She describes her fashion style as urban, punk and pop, and cites Serena Lynn, Jordan (Minorqback) and Sour Skiddlez as transgender role models. Her long-term goals included undergoing gender-affirming surgery and completing her own manga.
Monika: Hi Birdy, welcome! It's wonderful to finally sit down with you.
Birdy: Hi, hi. Thanks for wanting to interview me. I’m really happy to be here and excited to have the chance to share a little about myself.
Monika: Tell us a bit more about who Birdy is outside of the camera.
Birdy: Well, I'm 26, and I'm a home health aide who looks after the mentally handicapped. Outside of work I play video games, run my own anime art website, and play around with the concept of doing my own manga.
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| Transition (YouTube) |
Monika: What made you decide to open up about your transition on YouTube?
Birdy: My friend Sour Skiddlez has been doing video blogs for a long time, and she exposed me to the process in one of her videos, so I started doing it myself. I more or less wanted to show that transition isn't the nightmare people make it out to be. It's rough, I won't lie, but I feel like if more of us were to educate the future trans community, maybe they can take from us and help themselves better.
Monika: Where are you at in your transition right now?
Birdy: I'm 14 months into my transition. I have been living as a female since the 11th month. Also, I just applied for my legal name change, so soon I'll officially be counting down the days of the real-life experience, and on my way to having GRS.
Monika: How do you feel about the changes hormone therapy has brought so far?
Birdy: Yes, I've calmed down, settled into a career, and made lasting friendships, all thanks to it. I feel much more comfortable in myself now, and I think hormone therapy has helped me become a more grounded and content person. It has given me a sense of stability and allowed me to build a life that feels genuinely mine.
Monika: Take us back to your childhood. When did you first sense that being a boy didn't fit who you were?
Birdy: I started to feel off, if that's the word for it, around 9 or 10. By the time I was 14, I came out to my family, and that ended badly.
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| Cruising around town. |
Monika: School years are often the hardest for trans girls, full of discrimination and difficulty. Did you go through something similar?
Birdy: No, I presented as female in high school. But I was very androgynous from the start, and I also got along with most of the different cliques. So usually if someone started in on me, someone from their circle was cool with me and would put the person being rude in their place. Also, our school had very supportive staff who followed the rules to the letter.
Monika: Do you have any transgender role models who've inspired you?
Birdy: Serena Lynn, Jordan (Minorqback), and Sour Skiddlez, my roomie and best friend. They’ve each inspired me in different ways, whether through their confidence, their willingness to be themselves, or simply by being there when I needed someone who understood. Having people like them in my life has reminded me how important it is to have transgender friends and role models who make you feel less alone.
Monika: Looking back, what was the toughest part of coming out?
Birdy: The fact that my father didn't accept it one bit. He demonized it and made me so afraid to be myself that I tried to bury my feelings deep inside for years.
Monika: How would you describe the current situation for transgender women in American society?
Birdy: That we are still seen as abnormalities that people mock and feel disdain for. There is still so much ignorance and hostility toward transgender women, and it can be exhausting to constantly feel like you have to defend your right to exist as yourself. I hope that, with greater visibility and understanding, people will eventually see us simply as women who deserve the same dignity and respect as anyone else.
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| Preparing to spend the day in Chicago. |
Monika: More transgender women are stepping into public life these days, some even reaching celebrity status, think of Lana Wachowski in film, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, or Candis Cayne in acting. Do you think we'll keep seeing more women like them?
Birdy: Most definitely. I think every time a transgender woman steps into the public eye and succeeds, it makes it a little easier for others to imagine themselves doing the same. The more visible we become in different careers and walks of life, the more people will realize that transgender women can accomplish anything.
Monika: Could you imagine living to see a transgender woman become President of the United States?
Birdy: With this nation's current regime, I don't ever see that happening in this nation's existence. I would love to be proven wrong, because it would be an incredible sign of how far society had come. But right now, that possibility feels very far away to me.
Monika: How would you describe your fashion sense? Any particular styles or trends you gravitate toward?
Birdy: Usually I prefer the urban, punk, and pop looks. I usually just wear skater skirts, flip-flops, form-fitting printed T's or long sleeve shirts, and rock all the different hats I own. Trying to get me to dress formal would be like asking me to be male for a day, not happening. I like clothes that feel fun and comfortable and let my personality show through. I’ve never really been interested in dressing a certain way just because someone else thinks I should.
Monika: Where do you stand on transgender beauty pageants?
Birdy: They are cool, but they also offend me because I think they give the general populace of trans people the wrong idea on how their transitions will turn out. They can create an unrealistic image of what transgender women are supposed to look like or how feminine we are supposed to become. I think everyone should be free to enjoy pageants, but they shouldn't become the standard by which transgender women are judged.
Monika: Are you active within your local LGBT community?
Birdy: No, I promote it over the net, but I don't usually go to inter-personal functions. I’ve always found it easier for me to connect with people online, where I can communicate in my own way and reach a wider audience. Even if I’m not physically involved in local events, I still think supporting the community and helping spread awareness is important.
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| Before transitioning. |
Monika: Do you see marriage or family in your future? What role does love play in your life?
Birdy: Love is a fallacy to me. To me, it's a meaningless word. What people call love, to me translates to a person you can tolerate for life. But no, I might share my life with someone, though I hate kids.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are scared to transition because of discrimination and hatred?
Birdy: Just go for it. I was fairly anti-social, so discrimination from the general public never fazed me. Once I turned 18 and my parents couldn't stop me, it was game on. I know that isn't always easy advice to follow, especially when you have real reasons to be afraid of what might happen. But at some point, you have to decide that living as yourself is worth taking that chance.
Monika: What's next for you, and where do you picture yourself in the next five to seven years?
Birdy: To be honest, my life is so chaotic I don't even plan my days more than a week in advance. The only long-term goals I have are to get GRS and finish my manga. Beyond that, I’m just taking things as they come and trying to keep moving forward. I’ve learned that sometimes it’s better not to worry too much about where you’ll be years from now and just focus on what you want to accomplish next.
Monika: Would you say you're a happy woman these days?
Birdy: Yes and no. I'm naturally a pessimist, so I'd rate my happiness at a 7/10. I think a seven is actually pretty good for me, considering the way my mind naturally works. I still have difficult days and plenty of things I worry about, but I’ve also found a lot of reasons to appreciate the life I’m building.
Monika: Birdy, thank you so much for this conversation. It's been a pleasure.
All the photos: courtesy of Birdy Reene.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
