Ivory Oasis, also known as Dani Landers, is a game developer, artist, and YouTube vlogger based in Los Angeles. As the founder of Studio Fawn, she pours her heart into art, writing, and design, while also documenting her transition to help others navigate similar journeys. Having been on hormones for over 29 months, Ivory shares her experiences to provide guidance to those beginning their own transitions. Rather than fitting herself into traditional gender roles, she’s embraced the freedom of simply being herself, rejecting societal labels in favor of living authentically. Despite the challenges, including rejection from her father after coming out, she remains hopeful and committed to breaking stereotypes about transgender people.
Ivory’s creativity is inspired by androgynous fashion and transgender characters in anime, who live confidently and express themselves freely. She believes true beauty comes from embracing diversity, rather than conforming to narrow standards. Although she prefers to stay out of the spotlight in local LGBT communities, Ivory is passionate about using her work to create more visibility for transgender people and to inspire others to live their truth. Looking ahead, Ivory remains focused on her career, prioritizing stability and growth as she continues her transition at her own pace. While her journey is ongoing, she feels grateful for the progress she’s made and is excited for what the future holds.
Monika: Hello Ivory! It’s such a pleasure to have you here today. I’ve been following your journey for a while now, and I admire the way you share your experiences so openly with others.
Ivory: Hi there! :) Thanks so much for having me, Monika! I’m really excited to be here.
Monika: Could you tell us a little more about yourself and what you're currently working on?
Ivory: Basically, I’m an artist and game developer living in LA. My life pretty much revolves around that, and of course, in my spare time, I try to make progress with transitioning. Feel free to check out my current project, Bloom: Memories. It's been an exciting journey, and I can't wait to share more about it as it develops.
Monika: What inspired you to share the details of your transition journey on YouTube?
Ivory: When I was first exploring the possibility of transitioning, I remember finding transition videos of other people. Just being able to see the effects of hormones or surgeries and other transition experiences helped me get a much better idea of what was possible for myself. Without those videos, it would have been a much scarier proposition to begin transitioning. So, I’m just doing my part to help those who are now facing the same challenges I was. Hopefully, my story can offer the same kind of support and clarity that others once gave me.
Monika: Where are you currently in your transition journey?
Ivory: Currently, I’m at 29 months of hormones. I still have a lot more to do, but I’m patient and tend to focus more on my work than anything. Every step forward, no matter how small, feels like a personal victory.
Monika: Are you happy with the results of your hormone therapy so far?
Ivory: Very much! The effect they have had was more profound than I thought possible. I’d like to go further, but I’m also very thankful for what the hormones have given me. They’ve helped me feel more at home in my own body, which means everything.
|
| 19 months of HRT |
Monika: Could you describe your childhood? When did you first feel that you might not fully identify as a boy or a man?
Ivory: That is where I tend to diverge a bit from the traditional narrative, I guess. I actually never began to question whether I was a boy or man. I’ve always been different (since very, very young), but I’ve always simply figured I was a man with a strong feminine side. Over my life, I didn’t feel as though I needed to stop being a man... instead, I simply widened my definition of what a man could be. People are so preoccupied with semantics. I just never found a reason to trade one box for another. I prefer to live a bit more freely. I don’t know what it is to be “a man” or “a woman,” I simply know what it is to be me. I’ll leave it to others to fight over how that should be classified and stamped. This perspective gave me a sense of peace and clarity that traditional labels never could.
Monika: For many transgender girls, school, college, or university can be a particularly traumatic time due to discrimination and lack of acceptance. Was this the case for you?
Ivory: Not at all. I never expressed myself femininely in public, so discrimination was no issue. To the world, I was a fit young white male (which seems to be a good place to be, haha). I also tended to keep to myself throughout college, so I had very little interaction with peer groups outside of business classes. That sense of anonymity allowed me to focus on my studies without the emotional toll that many others sadly have to endure.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models you look up to or draw inspiration from?
Ivory: Humm, I guess androgynous fashion models or the transgendered characters in anime are things I look up to, the fashion models simply because they don’t let gender (one way or another) define them. They simply do as they please (male or female clothing) and look great doing it. The characters in anime are also very free in how they express themselves. They don’t try so hard to fit into some preconceptions of gender. They simply dress and act as they wish, confidently, and those around them accept them for that. Sadly, I see many trans people trading one mask for another... going through periods of trying to fit the stereotypes they feel they can squeeze best into. I also watch these people eventually figure out that it is OK to just be themselves, and let the chips fall as they may. That kind of self-assurance is what I admire most, it reminds me to stay true to my own path.
|
| 21 months of HRT. |
Monika: What would you say was the most difficult part of coming out, especially when it came to your family?
Ivory: I think that would be my father rejecting me (he stopped speaking to me for some time after I came out). I actually had a lot of fear before coming out about what my family's reaction might be (especially since I was still in school and their support was vital).
Luckily most of my family was supportive (even if it kind of weirded them out for a bit), so my father’s reaction was sad but who knows how that will play out in the end. I still hold out hope that time and understanding might eventually rebuild that bridge.
Monika: What are your general thoughts on the current status of transgender women in American society?
Ivory: I think the present situation is just at the beginning of “coming out” (as the gay and lesbian movement started decades ago). There are very few open trans people (especially in the public eye). I hope my work continues to bring me a platform to represent trans people so that others feel emboldened to do the same. Representation can be incredibly powerful, it reminds people that they’re not alone and that their voices matter.
Monika: We are seeing more and more transgender women coming out. Unlike in previous years, some of them have achieved celebrity status or are widely recognized, such as Lana Wachowski in film directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. What are your thoughts on this growing trend?
Ivory: I do think this is happening more here in America. Sadly, it is still very unsafe to be openly trans in many parts of my country. For that reason, it makes me feel as if it is my duty to stand up for those who can’t (since I’m really in a relatively safer location and field of work, so I should be OK). Seeing visible figures can spark hope and motivation, especially for those who feel isolated or unseen.
Monika: Are you involved in politics in any way? Do you participate in any lobbying efforts? And do you believe transgender women can have a meaningful impact in the political sphere?
Ivory: I try to stay informed on politics, but generally, politics needs far more than simply minority representation. In our country, bribery (they call it lobbying) is legal, so addressing the issue of money in politics seems like a much more important step than simply trans women in politics. I believe trans women can make a greater impact by reaching general society (through film, games, and other open interactions with the public). We need to break the stereotypes that we are all sex workers. Real change starts with shifting cultural perceptions, and I believe creative fields are one of the strongest avenues to do that.
Monika: Do you enjoy fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Are there any specific designs, colors, or trends that you like?
Ivory: I like to design fashion for my game characters, but my personal fashion has a long way to go. I cannot afford to update my wardrobe very much, so I still wear many of my older clothes from before transition. Like I said, my life is dedicated to my work, and my transition comes second. I hope to explore more fashion options as I move forward, but for now, practicality and comfort come first.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants?
Ivory: There is already great pressure on transgender people to undergo surgeries and extreme procedures in order to fit what society believes they should be. Beauty pageants seem to place even more emphasis on the idea that a trans person must be "passable." Seventy-five percent of women of normal weight in my country believe they are ugly, should we want the same for the trans community? Suicide rates are already high enough. Perhaps we should be celebrating ALL of our beauty, instead of focusing on a single narrow aspect of it. We need to recognize that beauty is diverse, and every individual deserves to feel beautiful, regardless of how they fit into society’s standards.
Monika: Are you involved in your local LGBT community?
Ivory: Nope. I tend to focus more on my work and personal life, but I do support the community in my own way, especially through my platform.
Monika: Do you plan to get married and have a family? What role does love play in your life?
Ivory: I would like to, but dating as a trans person is very difficult. Many trans women end up alone, and that’s a pretty likely outcome for me as well. Despite that, I believe love is important, and I’m hopeful that it will find its way into my life.
|
| 24 months of HRT. |
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are afraid of transitioning early, facing discrimination, or dealing with hatred?
Ivory: I would recommend not rushing the transition. Patience is extremely important, as transitioning takes a lot of time. Understanding how people see you is key to being able to function normally. Other than growing my hair out, people in my life had no idea I was transitioning for over a year (until I posted my first video showing my one-year progress).
Basically, be smart about transitioning. Wear things that work with your body and where you are in transition. Keeping more towards androgynous clothing (as I did) meant I didn’t "stand out," and I could just live normally. The process can be overwhelming, but taking small steps made it manageable for me.
Monika: What is your next step at the moment, and where do you see yourself in the next 5-7 years?
Ivory: My next step is to continue working on the game I’m creating. Transition-wise, when I have the money, I’d like to get more laser hair removal, more feminine clothes, and eventually, some plastic surgery would be nice. But number one in my life is making sure I don’t end up homeless and can support the things I want.
I think this is something many trans people forget. I would love to sit around all day “being a girl” (whatever that means), but if I did that, I would be sacrificing my longer-term future. Like I said, being patient is key to the transition. Be smart about it. Too many trans people end up finding their options very limited and get involved with sex work. There is a lot of discrimination towards us; we have to work harder at our careers to make sure we can have a normal life. I see myself in a place where I can support both my transition and my creative endeavors.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Ivory: Well, that’s an issue of semantics again. I’m happier than I was, but still have plenty left to do. Happiness, for me, is a work in progress, and I’m focusing on the steps that will get me there.
Monika: Ivory, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
All the photos: courtesy of Ivory Oasis.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
