Hannah Abigail’s life is a story of courage, curiosity, and breaking boundaries, both on the ground and in the sky. A German college teacher, skydiving instructor, trans advocate, and YouTube vlogger, Hannah has spent decades living authentically, inspiring others to embrace their true selves along the way. At 55, she embodies a rare blend of intellect, athleticism, and compassion, navigating the world with humor, grace, and an unshakable sense of self. Her roots reach across borders: though she grew up in Cottbus, Germany, Hannah has a deep, personal connection to Poland, where she spent much of her youth learning the language and exploring the country. This early exposure instilled in her a lasting respect for culture, history, and human connection. On the personal front, Hannah has been married to her wife for 33 years, transitioning in the last three. Together, they raised two children, and Hannah now enjoys her role as a grandparent, delighting in the small, humorous moments of family life. Professionally, Hannah teaches English at college, though her academic background spans physics and astronomy, a testament to her wide-ranging curiosity.
Beyond the classroom, she is a certified tandem skydiving instructor, one of fewer than two dozen women in Germany in this field, and possibly the only active transgender tandem instructor in the world. With over 600 tandem jumps and more than 2,000 jumps overall, she has literally and figuratively risen above limitations, earning recognition in Blue Sky Magazine. Hannah’s transition journey is equally extraordinary. Inspired by trans women sharing their stories online, she embraced her identity later in life, finding hope where she once felt despair. Today, she shares her experiences through videos and personal outreach, helping others navigate hormone therapy, legal matters, voice training, and the emotional challenges of transition. Her work has been especially meaningful for trans women aged 50 and above, offering both guidance and reassurance. Alongside her advocacy, Hannah engages in grassroots activism and the local LGBTQ community, all while navigating the societal and bureaucratic hurdles that trans people face in Germany. Her story is a testament to resilience, authenticity, and the courage to live openly despite obstacles. Life for Hannah is lived with style, adventure, and love. Her fashion choices reflect her personality, her skydiving reflects her boldness, and her enduring relationship with her wife remains the foundation of her happiness and strength.
In this interview, Hannah shares her journey, from navigating transition and career to love, family, and sky-high adventures, inviting us to explore what it truly means to live as one’s authentic self.
Monika: Hi Hannah! I’m so excited to talk with you today. Thank you for joining me.
Hannah: Cześć – Hello, Monika. Thank you so much for reaching out. I feel truly honored to be interviewed by you, considering all the famous names featured on your website.
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| Riding her canopy at about 2,500 ft - one of the fun jumps she can make when the dropzone is less busy with tandems. May 2016. |
Monika: Could you introduce yourself to our readers and tell us a bit about your background? I understand you have some Polish roots.
Hannah: Yes, my great-grandma was Polish. But my ties with Poland go much deeper than ancestry, they come from personal experience. I grew up in Cottbus, Germany, and learned Polish as my third foreign language at grammar school. I spoke it almost fluently in the 1970s and 1980s, visiting many regions of Poland. I learned a lot from those experiences and still maintain a special, cordial, and respectful relationship with Poland.
Monika: That’s wonderful! Could you tell us about your family life and how it has shaped you?
Hannah: Well, I am 55 years old and have been married to my wife for 33 years, 30 years as husband and wife, and the last three as wife and wife. We have two children, both of whom left the nest more than a dozen years ago. And now, I am a grandparent. My wife is called “Granny,” while I am simply “Hannah,” which is how their parents and my wife are comfortable addressing me. I’m curious when the grandchildren will figure out that “Hannah” isn’t a relationship term but my first name.
Monika: And professionally, you have such a unique and impressive career, can you tell us about that?
Hannah: I work as an English teacher at a college, though I could also teach physics and astronomy, which I studied in the late 1970s and early 1980s… if those subjects were offered here. I am also a certified tandem skydiving instructor, one of fewer than two dozen women among more than 600 in Germany. As far as I know, I am the only active transgender tandem instructor in the world. Not that we advertise this, my students simply jump with this 6’1” tall woman. I have completed over 600 tandem jumps so far, out of more than 2,000 total jumps, and my story was even featured on the cover of Blue Sky Magazine.
Monika: What inspired you to start sharing your transition journey on YouTube?
Hannah: I owe my life to a trans woman who shared transition videos on YouTube. You know, I was about to commit suicide in December 2012. I had known for some years that I am not a filthy pervert but simply happen to be transgender.
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| At a shopping mall in her town, in June 2015, some weeks after GCS. |
Monika: That sounds like a powerful turning point. How did watching those videos affect you personally?
Hannah: However, the videos of young trans girls blossoming and transitioning successfully initially dragged me down. After all, I looked so über-male, so old, so bald, and so ugly. There seemed to be no way and no hope that I could transition successfully. And then, there it was: a video about a trans woman whose life was very similar to mine. All of a sudden, there was hope. I could, at least, try. And good, I did, huh?
Monika: And now you’re giving back to the community. Can you tell us more about that mission?
Hannah: This is why I want to pay back to the community. I have actually had trans women aged 50+ write to me on YouTube, via Facebook, or by mail, saying that I had given them hope, inspiration, or advice. If you want to friend me on Facebook, you can find me as HannahKruse61. My main goals are simple: first, to be that random beam of light for a desperate soul searching the internet; and second, to give advice based on my own experience, what to consider and how to approach various aspects of one’s transition.
Monika: Your YouTube channel must attract a lot of attention. What kinds of questions do your viewers usually ask you?
Hannah: I wish there were more questions. I had people reaching out to me, but mainly to say thank you. There were some questions, and in a few cases from German users, they led to closer contact and many more detailed questions via mail or phone. HRT, legal questions, voice feminization, how to get rid of facial hair, and why my marriage survived were the main topics.
Monika: When you create content for your YouTube channel, do you plan everything in advance or just speak spontaneously?
Hannah: I just think for some time about a topic and which aspects to cover. I then sort of audition without the camera rolling. Doing this, I notice which parts are difficult, or if I need to take some notes. And then, I simply shoot the video. No post-edit except adding the title. I don’t like videos that are heavily edited, where every pause is cut out. Even if it is done well, you notice. I like single-shot videos better; they are more authentic. After all, pauses, filler words, searching for words, this is all part of day-to-day communication.
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| Taking a New Year's (2017) Day stroll with her wife. |
Monika: At this point in your journey, how would you describe where you are in your transition?
Hannah: Oh, that’s a tricky one. I could say I am done so far. I have lived full time for three years, all documents have been updated for two years, and the other things cisgender people are often interested in, well, they are done so far as well. On the other hand, do we really ever come to a point where we say, “Nothing new ahead, nothing more to explore?”
Monika: Many trans women have very different experiences with hormone therapy. Are you personally satisfied with your results?
Hannah: Oh, yes. It was about three or four weeks after starting HRT that I got so calm, so happy, so real, so authentic. I am sure only trans people can really understand. The bodily effects of HRT keep amazing me. When you start at my age, you need to be patient. It is only now that I am starting to curve out. Waistline, bootie, you know. Or take my skin, so smooth. Body hair has disappeared, which is so great. And HRT may also have had an impact on my sexual preferences. Talk about looking at a hunk in the gym, swoon…
Monika: Do you have any transgender role models you look up to, especially in Germany?
Hannah: I must be one of the strangest German trans advocates. All my role models are Anglophones, mainly from the US, the UK, Canada, or Australia. I have a few German trans friends, but they’re rather FB acquaintances than role models.
Monika: Looking back, what was the most difficult part of your coming out?
Hannah: Oh myyy. Telling my wife. That was the hardest thing. I had prepared and prepared and finally wrote her a five-page letter, and the rest of the day was just the two of us crying. I am so blessed she stayed with me.
Monika: How would you describe the current situation for transgender women in Germany?
Hannah: The situation looks better than in many other countries. However, there are still so many problems. We are still considered mentally disordered, the legal process is burdensome, and there is still a stigma, or at least a widespread lack of basic knowledge and decency about transgender issues in large parts of society.
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| At her gym, after working out and enjoying the endorphins. Jan 2017. |
Monika: What are some of the biggest legal and medical challenges transgender people face in Germany today?
Hannah: Our Supreme Court has declared most parts of the “Transsexual Act” of 1980 unconstitutional, but the legal process in our Bundestag has not even reached the stage of a new bill being introduced. Or take medical expenses, they are covered, but for this you still need to jump through many hoops. If you aren’t well off financially, you are at the mercy of bureaucrats who often decide heartlessly, based on outdated guidelines from 2009. Yes, a lot of work is still ahead of us.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender experiences are represented in literature?
Hannah: Me, being a bookworm… my first thought is books, especially biographies. They were an essential part of my preparation for transition. But they were English books. There are almost no German books on the topic, though one can now find a few good German ones.
Monika: And what about the way transgender stories are covered in German media, such as newspapers and magazines?
Hannah: Articles in German newspapers and magazines have changed over the last years, for the better. You can see that most journalists try to be respectful and knowledgeable. Trans activism and the interviewed people being in charge of what is written may also contribute to this. German Stern magazine ran a seven-page feature about my wife and me, and the journalist, a woman, was so respectful and considerate. Or take an article in the federal magazine of my teachers’ union that was published half a year after I had come out. The journalist was familiar with trans issues, and it was a real pleasure to work with her.
Monika: What is your opinion of transgender representation in film and television?
Hannah: Movies, oh well. There are so many movies where we are cheap jokes, stereotyped as deceivers, aggressors, or pitiful victims, but never just ordinary people from next door. There is one German movie, Mein Sohn Helen (My Son Helen), that got some aspects right, but that was it. And TV, especially chat shows… one still needs to cater to the cisgender gaze to be invited. Shrill make-up, an obvious blonde wig, mini skirt, fishnets, five-inch heels, baritone voice, you know.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Hannah Abigail.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
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