Every now and then, you meet someone whose story makes you want to put down your coffee, even if it’s a triple Venti latte, and just listen. Today’s conversation is with Milene, a young transgender woman from Canada whose warmth, honesty, and sense of humor shine through every word she writes. She’s not just navigating her transition, she’s sharing it openly with the world through Reddit, turning what began as a personal diary into a source of encouragement for others on similar journeys. Born and raised in Moncton, New Brunswick, in a French-speaking household with her mom, dad, and two younger brothers, Milene has always had a strong sense of family, even when her path in life took unexpected turns. Now living in Halifax, Nova Scotia, she’s balancing her day job at Starbucks, where she’s working toward her coveted “coffee master” black apron, with dreams of entering medical school. Between perfecting latte art and weighing out specialty Arabica blends on a clover machine, she’s also making time for her other full-time calling: being a visible, positive voice for the transgender community.
Milene’s posts online are refreshingly real. She talks about the exhilaration of seeing changes month by month on hormone replacement therapy, the joy of finding the perfect Dolman sleeve top, and the awkwardness of getting the occasional strange message from strangers on the internet. But she also shares the harder truths, the uncertainty of coming out to family, the bittersweet adjustments in relationships, and the determination to push through despite societal misconceptions. Her story is also one of community. Whether it’s local LGBTQ support groups in Atlantic Canada, Pride parades, or the online network she’s built, Milene thrives on connection. She’s inspired by transgender role models like Gigi Gorgeous and Chloe Arden, but she’s also deeply moved by friends and acquaintances who have walked this path before her, offering guidance when she needed it most. And in turn, she’s become that guiding voice for others, reminding them that transition is not the final destination, it’s one chapter in a much bigger life story. In this interview, we talk about everything from coffee culture to media representation, from self-love to future ambitions.
Milene speaks candidly about her hopes to become a dermatologist, her thoughts on the evolving rights of transgender people in Canada, and the advice she’d give to anyone afraid to take the first step toward living authentically. What emerges is a portrait of a young woman who is both grounded in her own journey and eager to lift others up along the way. So, grab your favorite cup of coffee, light roast, dark roast, or something in between, and join me for this inspiring conversation with Milene.
Monika: Today I have the pleasure of speaking with Milene, a young transgender woman from Canada who shares her transition journey on Reddit. Hello, Milene!
Milene: Hello! It’s very nice to finally speak to you!
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| Latte art that Milène made during one of her shifts. |
Monika: To start, could you introduce yourself to our readers and share a bit about your background?
Milene: Well, first of all, I would like to say that English is not my first language. I was born and raised French in Moncton, New Brunswick, and lived with my mom, dad, and two brothers, both younger than I am. I’m not in school at the moment, but I plan to apply for next September to eventually go to medical school! Other than that, I currently work full time at a Starbucks in Halifax, Nova Scotia, where I’m working towards my coffee master’s certification (the black apron you occasionally see on a barista).
Monika: If you had to choose your personal signature coffee, what would it be? Do you prefer light or dark roast, Arabica or Robusta beans?
Milene: Our Pike Place Roast is definitely our most popular coffee. It's a very well-balanced blend with subtle notes of cocoa. But for our specialty coffees, I would say all our reserve blends at the moment, which are all made on our clover machine, a really expensive machine that brews coffee by the cup, and we carefully weigh the exact amount we use. All our coffee beans are Arabica beans, as it's overall a better quality bean.
Monika: These days, coffee capsules seem to be everywhere. How do you think they compare in quality and flavor to coffee made the traditional way?
Milene: Obviously it does not taste the exact same. For most people, all they want is freshly brewed coffee, and it performs very well in that regard. But when it comes to quality and flavor, nothing beats freshly brewed coffee on drip or in a press.
Monika: On a typical day, how many cups of coffee do you find yourself drinking?
Milene: It depends on the day! How long I'm going to be at work or how tired I really am, haha. One or two cups on average. But I’ve had days where I would drink three Venti (Large) Starbucks double shots, which in total comes to 15 shots of espresso. I'm not gonna need sleep for the next three days apparently!
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| First time using makeup! Loving it! |
Monika: What inspired you to start sharing the details of your transition journey on Reddit?
Milene: At first, it was mostly for me, as I had to document my transition somehow. It was a nice confidence boost knowing that the hormones were actually taking effect and that you could compare month by month the changes in the face and body. It’s amazing the support we have for one another, and it gives that extra “you can do it!” that everyone needs once in a while!
But eventually, it turned into much more! People were sending me messages about how I inspire them and help them through their transition. That quickly took over, and I felt amazing knowing that someone, somewhere, was looking up to me! I’ve never been a role model before, but it brings me pride to know that I’m helping someone out there.
Monika: You’ve built quite a following. What kinds of questions do people usually ask you?
Milene: Most of the time it’s makeup tips. But I don’t get many questions online, mostly in real life. People love to know my skincare routine and what makeup I use! I can’t stress enough how important a good skincare routine is! Haha. I always say if your skin looks good without makeup, it will look amazing with makeup.
Monika: Every public figure gets the occasional unusual message. What’s the strangest question you’ve been asked?
Milene: Someone wanted to hook up at some point. Not going to name any names. But people seem keen to get my phone number online, which, most of the time, we live so far away that I wouldn’t see the point. They ask for my Snapchat name, and most of the time it’s cis men (you know the rest). And obviously, I don’t reply.
Monika: How far along are you in your transition at this point?
Milene: I will be hitting 9 months on hormones soon! It’s very exciting. I went to visit my family back in Moncton, and they all said the changes were drastic! I hadn't seen them since last November, so the change kind of shocked them a little. It’s nice to know that people notice.
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| What is expected during HRT. |
Monika: Looking back on your journey so far, how do you feel about the changes you’ve experienced through hormone therapy?
Milene: Very satisfied. Although, like anyone else, I would love even more changes, of course. I’m still waiting to see if I want facial feminization surgery eventually. It may be the push I need to be 100% comfortable in my own skin. But I’m still early in the transition, so anything can happen.
Monika: Who are some of the transgender role models or public figures who inspire you the most?
Milene: Of course! Gigi Gorgeous, Chloe Arden, and Maya on YouTube are all such a big inspiration for me! Going through this alone is difficult, but knowing other people like me are out there who support you and want to help you is truly amazing.
Monika: And beyond public figures, have there been people in your personal life who influenced or guided your journey?
Milene: One big inspiration I have is a girl I went to school with! She’s a year older than I am, but she is truly the most beautiful girl I have ever met! Without her, I would’ve never found out who I truly was. I would also like to talk about Michelle Leard. She was such a big help, telling me who to see and what to expect when it came to my transition. She made sure that I never felt overwhelmed by the whole process, and she’s probably the biggest influence I have.
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| Finally went bra shopping! |
Monika: Looking back, what was the most challenging part of coming out as transgender?
Milene: Not knowing if my family would be supportive. I never even imagined I would come out so early, but it just happened. I was with my ex-girlfriend at the time, and I told her out of the blue that I felt like I should’ve been born a girl. It was such a shock for her and for me. She never saw it coming, and neither did I. But it felt so good finally telling someone. That very moment, I feared we would not last, and sure enough, we broke up three days later. It was probably the hardest breakup for me since our relationship was going so well! We were supposed to go to Paris for our anniversary and everything. That was probably the hardest part of my transition, but nonetheless an essential part of it too.
Monika: How did your family react once they knew, and how has their support evolved since then?
Milene: When I came back home in tears, my mom wanted to know what was going on. That’s when I came out, and it’s been back and forth ever since. My dad is very supportive, but my mom has a hard time grasping that her little boy is now gone. She tries so desperately to keep the little boy she raised, and that’s very hard to deal with. You don’t want to hurt anyone by transitioning, but you have to sometimes. That’s the hardest part of transitioning.
Monika: How would you describe the current situation and rights of transgender women in Canada?
Milene: In Canada, transgender women are, well, women! See, in Canada, people from the LGBTQ+ community have rights just like everyone else. I’ve never felt threatened or in danger throughout my transition, and I would say I should be very thankful for that.
We are well protected, and more and more rights are being given to us. Just recently, New Brunswick passed a bill that would make sure that SRS would be covered by the government, making it the last province to do so, which is such a big deal and a huge win for the transgender community.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender stories and characters are portrayed in media such as films, newspapers, and books?
Milene: I think it’s important that the trans community gets more and more people talking. The more public we are, the more people who previously had no idea on the subject now know a lot more about us. But I still believe it needs some work. Sometimes transgender characters have a tendency to get over-sexualized in films, where the transition is depicted as sexual and not mental.
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| Exactly 7 months on hormones. |
Monika: Can you give an example of a portrayal that didn’t sit well with you?
Milene: For example, the movie “The Danish Girl” had a scene where the main character sits alone in a cubicle-like room where we could see another woman through a window dancing in a somewhat sexual manner. We can see the main character imitate her and we clearly see an internal struggle, almost as if she doesn't feel womanlike. It just feels like another moment of objectification of women and it feels so awkward and out of place for me. It was a great movie that had plenty of relatable scenes, but I don’t want people getting the wrong idea about who we are through media.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Milene.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
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