There are many different ways to tell one’s story, but few are as raw, immediate, and impactful as speaking directly into a camera and letting the world in. Today’s guest has done exactly that. Known on YouTube as SoSara, she is a Canadian video blogger who documents her transition with honesty, humor, and vulnerability. For her, vlogging is more than just a personal outlet; it’s a lifeline for others who may feel alone in their struggles, and a way to show the world the everyday reality of being a transgender woman and a mother of two. Sara’s channel stands out because she doesn’t sugarcoat the journey. She shares both the highs and the lows, the victories of self-discovery, the painful challenges of navigating public perception, and the quiet moments of resilience that often go unseen. In doing so, she not only educates those outside of the transgender community but also uplifts those within it, reminding them that they are not alone and that happiness and confidence are possible. What makes Sara especially relatable is her down-to-earth approach. She is not trying to be a celebrity or a polished media figure. Instead, she emphasizes being a “regular person” who works hard, raises her two daughters, and strives to live authentically.
That authenticity is precisely why so many people gravitate to her channel. Her openness about voice training, hormone replacement therapy, and the everyday adjustments of transition offers a practical roadmap for those beginning their own journeys. At the same time, her candid reflections on facing stigma, awkward questions, and the courage it takes to come out provide a deeply human perspective that transcends labels. In our conversation, Sara opens up about her decision to share her life online, the challenges and triumphs of transition, her views on representation in media, and her dreams for the future. From navigating fashion choices to tackling misconceptions about sexuality, from her hopes of one day stepping onto a beauty pageant stage to her commitment to being the best role model she can be for her daughters, Sara’s story is one of resilience, love, and determination. So, let’s step into her world, a space filled with laughter, self-discovery, a few tears, and above all, a strong message: that living authentically, no matter how difficult the road, is always worth it.
Monika: Sara, welcome! It’s such a pleasure to have you here.
SOSara: Hey Monika, thanks for giving me an opportunity to share my story and hopefully reach those who need some uplifting and those who need a better understanding of us.
Monika: For readers who may not know you yet, how would you introduce yourself?
SOSara: I’m really just a regular person. I didn’t transition and decide, hey, now that I’m finally expressing myself as a woman, I should become a super glam diva! I just work hard to live my life to the fullest and give my two beautiful daughters the best life possible.
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| Sara's angels. |
Monika: What inspired you to start documenting your transition on YouTube?
SOSara: I'm sharing all my transition details from the ups to the downs because I feel like people need a better understanding of what it’s like in our shoes, and people aren’t getting that from Caitlyn Jenner, unfortunately. I also share it all to help the transgender community know that they aren’t alone in their struggles, but that they too can get through it and be happy and confident in their skin.
Monika: You have built a strong following on YouTube. What is the most common question your viewers ask you?
SOSara: I think the biggest question I get from my fans is how I trained my voice, lol. It’s one of the hardest things to do when transitioning and one of the biggest things that helps to “pass” as a woman and not be called out for being transgender (clocked). It makes it much easier to be in stealth and not seen as transgender but simply as a woman.
Monika: Among the many questions you receive, what has been the most unusual or surprising one?
SOSara: I’m straight, so I get a lot of guys who either ask or assume that it's gay to be attracted to me. My answer is always the same: do you think a gay guy has any interest in me? No, because I’m a woman, and gay guys are attracted to men. It’s hard to comprehend, but I really am a woman if you ask what truly makes a woman a woman. Is it her physical parts, or is it more than that?
Monika: Looking back, when did you first begin to feel that your identity was different from the boys around you?
SOSara: Ever since I was very young, I wasn’t like the other boys. My mom thought I was gay because I was so feminine and sensitive and just wasn’t the same as the other boys. I played with Barbie dolls with the girl across the street and wasn’t into the same things as the other boys were. My mind has always been that of a female, even though I suppressed it and pretended to be the man everyone wanted me to be, it was always there. Being who I truly am has been so easy and effortless, and to anyone who doesn’t know I’m transgender, I'm 100% woman. I don’t tell everyone, including my boss and coworkers.
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| Bathroom selfie. |
SOSara: Before coming out I would definitely have to write scenarios so I could control what I said, which I did most of my life in everyday situations, control everything I said. I don’t EVER need to do that anymore. What I say now comes from the heart and is effortless. I don’t think about what I have to say anymore, everything I say is natural, and I don’t have to prepare at all for my videos. I think of a topic, I press record, and I speak.
Monika: Many of my readers are curious about the journey of transition. How would you describe the stage you are at right now?
SOSara: I, like everyone else in the world, am constantly transitioning from one stage of life to another. We are all transitioning but the answer you want to hear is what I have done as part of my transition and what I have left to feel complete, if I’m not mistaken. I have been on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) for over a year and have been living full time as my real self for almost two years. I’m at a point where I’m very confident in who I am, I am comfortable in my skin, and I’m not worried about being in public and being seen as a freak like I was in the beginning.
Monika: And what steps are still ahead of you as part of your transition?
SOSara: Within the next few months, I'll be receiving GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery), and I cannot wait! It's been a struggle dealing with having the wrong parts and how uncomfortable it makes me, not to mention it’s really messing with my sex life.
Monika: How do you feel about the physical and emotional changes you’ve experienced on hormone therapy?
SOSara: I'm definitely happy with the progress I've made on HRT. Before getting breast implants I was a B cup, which is pretty awesome for HRT and above average. My skin has become softer, my face has become rounder with fuller cheeks, my waist has become smaller, and some of my body hair has become thinner or disappeared altogether.
Monika: Beyond the physical effects, what emotional or mental changes have you noticed?
SOSara: I cry A LOT more now, lol, but I don’t mind. It’s refreshing to finally be able to feel and express my emotions. That has always been something that bothered me about pretending to be a boy; I held back all of my emotions and feelings and it hurt. I can have pretty intense mood swings, which took a while to get used to or at least be more prepared for. Overall, I'm very happy with the changes I've gone through on HRT.
Monika: Were there any transgender role models or online creators who influenced or inspired you during your journey?
SOSara: Before coming out I followed basically anyone on YouTube that documented their transition. I'm not a big fan of Caitlyn Jenner, as not many people can relate to her at all. I do keep track of Gigi Gorgeous and Princess Jules, but I also can’t relate to them because I find them to be very glitzy glam girls, and I’m more of a regular hard-working mother of two.
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| Bring it on! |
SOSara: It was all hard, every bit of it, except for the massive relief I felt with finally putting the costume away and the mental stress that came with it. Coming out to everyone was one of the most nerve-racking things I've ever done. Nobody saw it coming; I was the typical tough macho man in their eyes.
Monika: How did your family react when you finally shared your truth with them?
SOSara: My grandmother, who passed away a few years ago, and my mother always knew though, or at least they thought I was gay, lol. Learning how to dress properly wasn’t easy, makeup wasn’t easy, and forgetting ALL the bad habits I taught myself in order to come off as the macho man everyone wanted me to be was tough, the way I spoke, the way I walked, my attitude, suppressing my emotions, etc. It was hard losing all my friends.
Monika: And how did it feel to navigate the outside world and deal with strangers’ reactions during this time?
SOSara: It was hard going out in public looking ridiculous, feeling everyone’s eyes on me, judging me, laughing at me, talking about me behind my back. Doing job interviews knowing I most likely wouldn’t get the job just because of how I looked. It's also hard dealing with idiots and stupid questions, but I handle it because I need to help people understand this better.
Monika: How would you describe the current situation for transgender women in Canada, and how does it compare to other countries?
SOSara: Canada is one of the better places to be for transgender men and women, but it can always be better. As long as we’re allowed to pee in the bathroom we belong in and hate isn’t tolerated, then I’m happy. I feel extremely horrible and even terrified for my sisters down South. Trump has created a very hostile environment filled with people who think it's OK to hate anybody who’s different from them, and transgender people have to fight harder than ever just for basic rights.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender people have been portrayed in movies, books, or the media in general?
SOSara: I've only seen a couple of movies with people portraying transgender people, and it seems fine to me. I don’t have a major opinion on this except that if it brings positive awareness to what it's like to be transgender, then I'm for it.
Monika: Are you personally involved in politics or advocacy? Do you think transgender women can make a meaningful impact in the political sphere?
SOSara: I HATE politics, I hate politicians, I hate the lobbying, I hate the campaigns. I should know more so that I can help in a bigger way, but I'm just so uncomfortable with everything to do with politics.
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| Sara's 2nd birthday. |
SOSara: I go to a local support group as often as I can, but I don’t do as much for my local community as I wish I could. I’m working on rebuilding my life and one that can be good for my daughters. Until my life is more stable, I can’t do all the work I do plan to do for my local community.
Monika: The transgender movement is often included under the larger LGBTQ umbrella. Do you feel the transgender community is able to advocate for its own rights effectively within that group?
SOSara: Well, in a sense, the T doesn’t even belong in that group. Transgender is not a sexuality, it’s a gender identity. LGB is about sexuality. The transgender community is not a small one, and there are many fighting for our rights and for equality, abbreviation or not.
Monika: You have a strong sense of personal style. How would you describe your approach to fashion, and what kinds of outfits or colors do you usually favor?
SOSara: I love fashion, I just can't yet afford all the fashionable pieces I want, lol. I shop only when I can, but I like trendy pieces. I'm a very colorful person inside and out, so I usually wear things that are somewhat exciting.
I find the color I wear a lot is burgundy, and it seems to suit my personality. I love my form-fitting dresses and my flowy skirts. I wear long sweaters in the winter, and leggings or tight jeans, as well as scarves. I'm always wearing some kind of jewelry and accessories.
Monika: What is your perspective on transgender beauty pageants compared to traditional ones?
SOSara: I’m not huge on “transgender beauty pageants,” but I like regular beauty pageants. My perfect world would not separate the two and would recognize transgender women not as transgender but as women. I've been accepted to move forward to the second part of an application for a regular beauty pageant, and I’m excited to have the opportunity to show the world who I am and how I can fit in as a woman and not be separated into the group of being transgender. I also, of course, can’t wait to dress up and look my best while doing it and spreading my message.
Monika: How important is love in your life, and what role does it play for you personally?
SOSara: What would anyone be or do without love? Love is of major importance in my life. I love nothing more than my daughters, and I will teach them about love and how to spread love and not hate. I long for a partner to share my love with and feel it back. It's almost like a dream…
Monika: Many transgender women write memoirs to share their experiences. Have you ever considered writing a book about your journey?
SOSara: I would love to write a book; it would not be a dull one, that’s for sure, but I don’t have the patience for it. I started a diary when I began my transition, but I'm so detailed and so much would happen in a day that I had to spend at least 30 minutes writing every night, and I just don’t have the patience for it. That’s why I started my YouTube channel.
I'm a very expressive person, and YouTube can capture that. I hope to one day have someone help me with writing a book because I just can't.
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| Photoshoots are fun. :) |
Monika: For transgender women who feel hesitant about starting their transition or fear discrimination and prejudice, what advice would you give them?
SOSara: All I can say is it’s worth it. I went through the hardest times of my life, hands down, after coming out, and even then I had no regrets because I was finally free of my mental prison. I had a bright and exciting future ahead of me, and NOTHING/NOBODY would stop me from getting there.
If you want happiness, unfortunately, you have to fight for it in this world, but the rewards are sweet. I would definitely recommend talking to a counselor to help prepare you and support you during this difficult journey.
Monika: Looking ahead, what are your next steps, and where do you see yourself in the next five to seven years?
SOSara: My next step is to finish off my laser hair removal on my face because it is way too much work to cover up every morning, and shaving sucks. I'm going back to school in September for health and fitness promotion to become a fitness instructor and personal trainer, which is also part of my five-year plan.
I plan to somehow get into public speaking and speak to schools about being transgender and anything else I can do to spread awareness and make this easier for the next generations.
Monika: Sara, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It’s been an absolute pleasure.
SOSara: The pleasure is mine. Anything to help.
All the photos: courtesy of SoSara.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
