Jennifer Cohen-Taylor is a transgender woman, video blogger, and LGBT rights activist who documents her transition on YouTube, sharing her experiences and connecting with others through honest, heartfelt conversations. Having known from the age of five that she was a girl, Jennifer grew up facing the painful consequences of a world that refused to recognise her identity. One of her earliest memories is of being separated from the girls she played with at school, an experience that left her feeling isolated and deeply affected her relationships for many years. It took her until the age of forty-four to come out and begin living openly as Jennifer, embracing the woman she had always known herself to be. In her videos, she speaks candidly about her transition, the changes brought about by hormone therapy, and the freedom she has found in finally being herself. She is also a passionate advocate for transgender and gay rights, having received activist training from the Human Rights Campaign and the New Organizers Institute and participated in grassroots campaigns for transgender rights in Miami.
Living in Nashville with her partner, Lynna Lopez, Jennifer is enthusiastic about fashion, personal expression, and the growing visibility of transgender people in society. She admires ordinary people who face life's challenges with courage and determination, seeing their personal struggles and achievements as a source of inspiration. In our interview, Jennifer reflects on her childhood, the difficulties of growing up without understanding or support, the importance of self-acceptance, and her hopes of becoming a stronger voice for the transgender community. She also shares her views on activism, transgender representation, beauty pageants, and the courage required to live authentically. Above all, her story is one of rediscovering happiness after decades of hiding, and of celebrating the freedom to live as the woman she has always known herself to be.
Monika: Jennifer, welcome! It's a pleasure to have you with us today.
Jennifer: Hello Monika! I am honored to be among so many highly admired women. Thank you.
Monika: To start, how would you introduce yourself in a few words?
Jennifer: Sure. I have always known that I was a woman. From a very young age, about 5, I knew it well. There was never dysphoria at that age. I lived as me. I was happy. But as I grew older, I began to see that my body was not like those of other girls. That's when the issues began. It took me a long time, 44 years, to finally come out and be Jenny, but today I am happy and free, the woman I have always known.
Monika: What made YouTube the right place to share the details of your transition?
Jennifer: Well, I have always loved video as a medium to share and connect with people. I look into the lens and I imagine people like you on the other side. I connect with people using real emotions and real words from my heart. YouTube allows me to do that well.
Monika: Where are you at the moment in your transition?
Jennifer: I am at 1 year and almost 5 months.
Monika: Hormone therapy brings different results for different women. How satisfied are you with yours?
Jennifer: Yes, I have always been intersexed, with breasts at age 11 and a not-so-normal boy figure. Even at 44, I have seen fantastic changes. My breasts began to grow, right where they left off at age 11. I have changed in my face, hands, feet, and in my mind. Great changes and HRT made me feel normal, balanced, and really me.
Monika: Take me back to your childhood. When did you first sense that you were not meant to be a boy or a man?
Jennifer: I was a little girl in Connecticut. I was in fourth grade and I had a little friend named Debbie. She and I were two girls and we played together like that. She never knew I was trans, she just knew I was like her.
One day, after recess, the teacher brought me aside and told me that I was no longer going to play with girls. She said that I was not allowed to talk to them or be with them at all. I was horrified as my little and perfect world was destroyed. The boys were informed of this too, to my humiliation, and from that day and for 8 more years, I was beaten and taunted for being a girl in a boy's body.
Then, when I went home, my mother informed me of the same tragic news. She told me that for my birthday, which was only a few weeks away, I would not be having any girls come. I cried and said, “What?” She told me that I was going to have “new” boyfriends to play with from now on. Again I was horrified. My world became so small then and it hindered me for some 34 years afterward.
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| Courtesy of Jennifer Cohen-Taylor. |
Monika: Many transgender girls remember school, college, or university as the most traumatic years because of constant discrimination. Did you go through the same?
Jennifer: Well, college was no better than high school or before that. I was not only transgender and now devastated and ready to die most days, but I was also socially inept. I had no real friends in the past, so relationships were a disaster for me in college and in my 20's. I kept my being trans a huge secret, so no, I never had persecution about that. I did get teased about being gay and effeminate.
Monika: Do you look up to any transgender role models?
Jennifer: I am a simple woman. I enjoy the lives of real people like you. People on Facebook who struggle and live lives bravely. I call heroes in the trans world those whom some might call ordinary and average. I see people in a different light. I look not at the stature but rather at the fight. I look for a person who takes the challenges life gives them and then I see how they battle those. I follow people who win and people who conquer their fears with a happy life. These are the champions I admire.
Monika: Coming out is rarely easy. What was the hardest part of it for you?
Jennifer: Facing my own reality. Admitting that I was gay and that I was transgender too. To be real and honest and genuine enough to face my truth and then live it. I was the toughest person to face. I did, however, and once I loved myself and was truthful, I was finally able to come out as Jennifer for good.
Monika: Looking at your country today, how would you describe the situation of transgender women?
Jennifer: Many call themselves transgender but are not. I see people who are confused and think they are transgender, but they only wish to dress like the other gender. There is no sacrifice and no real determination to be the correct gender identity. They fail to pay the price that the rest of us have paid. Many like to be in our community because they can hide there. But really, they have no issues with their birth gender. They are fine being guys. They just like to wear girl clothes. Look, wear what you like, but don't call yourself transgender if you are not willing to pay the price and make the tough decisions.
Monika: More and more transgender women are stepping into the spotlight, from Lana Wachowski in film directing and Jenna Talackova in modeling to Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you see the same trend?
Jennifer: Certainly I do see many people now having the comfort and the liberty to come out. The world is changing and we are witnessing a movement that will only be more intense. People are brave to live their lives as the correct gender identity now. They see us and others, and now they too want to come out and be right with their expression. They won't settle for hiding or denying their true self anymore. They take bold moves to be themselves, and all because they see us do so. It's so exciting.
Monika: Politics is another arena where voices matter. Are you active in it, do you take part in any lobbying campaigns, and can transgender women truly make a difference?
Jennifer: I am a huge supporter of activism. I have been professionally trained by the Human Rights Campaign in Washington. I have been professionally trained by the New Organizers Institute in New York. I have been part of all kinds of grassroots campaigning in Miami for trans rights. I have been an advocate on Facebook and on all of the social networks. My fight for transgender and gay rights will only increase.
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| Courtesy of Jennifer Cohen-Taylor. |
Monika: Fashion seems like a natural form of self-expression. What kind of outfits do you usually wear, and are there any designers, colors, or trends you favor?
Jennifer: I adore fashion. I love clothes and expressing myself in the correct clothing. I used to hate getting dressed in plaid and stripes and black or blue pants and guy stuff. Now I get to be pretty and beautiful. I can present my true identity and gender by what I wear. I like purple and the summer palette of colors. Liz Claiborne is one of my personal favorites.
Monika: Transgender beauty pageants tend to divide opinion. What is your take on them?
Jennifer: Well, people can do what they want. What I see many times are people trying to authenticate themselves, to justify looking like a woman and winning awards. Pageants are fine though. I think there are better ways to present beauty and poise, in your real life. To me that's the best place to show off who you're made of.
Monika: How involved are you in your local LGBT community?
Jennifer: Oh yes. I live in Nashville with my partner, Lynna Lopez. We frequent the “gayborhood” in downtown Nashville. We try to involve ourselves in a community that is certainly thriving. Yes, even in Tennessee.
Monika: Some transgender women hold back from transitioning because they fear discrimination and hatred. What would you say to them?
Jennifer: There comes a time when you must be real, be genuine, be true to yourself, and be happy. Face your fears and be you. Pay the price and make the tough decisions. Stop dying the slow death and begin to live. Be the man or the woman God made you to be and stop worrying about how everyone will receive that. This is your life, now live it.
Monika: Looking ahead, what is your next step, and where do you see yourself in five to seven years?
Jennifer: I see myself as a competent and strong woman, finally making her way in society as a respected contributor. I see myself as a huge transgender leader helping more people than ever before. I see my face smiling and I hear myself laughing from all of the joy my life will one day bring.
Monika: After everything you have shared, would you call yourself a happy woman today?
Jennifer: No, I am more than happy. I am more than joyous. I am thrilled to live my life as the real me. I am Jennifer and I am wonderful. I have chosen to live the right life for me and I have no regrets.
Monika: Jennifer, thank you so much for this wonderful conversation!
Jennifer: Thank you, Monika. You are an inspiration to us.
All the photos: courtesy of Jennifer Cohen-Taylor.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
