Monika: Today, I have the pleasure and honor of interviewing Johanna E., an inspiring Austrian woman, stewardess, yoga instructor, and celebrity star of the German reality show Transgender – Mein Weg in den richtigen Körper. Welcome, Johanna!
Johanna: Hi Monika, I feel very happy about this interview.
Monika: What motivated you to apply for Transgender – Mein Weg in den richtigen Körper? Was it a spontaneous decision, or had you been thinking about it for a long time?
Johanna: It was pure instinct and ambition. When I saw Transgender for the first time two years ago, I felt envy and a strong need to participate in that TV show as well. There was no certain reason, I just wanted to be part of that. I considered it as my next goal. Looking back, it turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life.
Monika: How would you describe your overall experience on the show? Did it meet your expectations, or were there aspects that surprised you?
Johanna: My impression is that the production team is really serious about the topic and about us, the participants. Nothing disrespectful was shown in the shows, though they could have. For example, there were pictures of me attending an erotic dance class where I did not hide my gender, and you could see everything because I wore tight leggings. But they did not show it. On the other side, the show is quite superficial because it's more about operations. Still, I appreciate that it gave me a platform to share my journey and connect with others in the community.
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| Happy in Berlin. |
Monika: Have you maintained any lasting friendships with the other women from the show, or did your connections fade over time?
Johanna: At the beginning, I kept in touch with some. But I am Austrian, not German. I can feel that I am not so important to them, or maybe some are jealous. Who knows? I feel some of them are just concerned about their part in the show and how many new friends or fans on Facebook they get. It's sort of ego-driven. Plus, they are young and have other things in mind than I do.
But there is one who was hated by all the participants because she was very sexual and direct, but with her, I feel well because she is different. I appreciate her honesty and the way she doesn’t try to fit into anyone else’s expectations.
Monika: Have you had the opportunity to appear on other TV shows beyond Transgender - Mein Weg in den richtigen Körper?
Johanna: Yeah, many in Austria. You can find them on my YouTube channel, but it's all in German. And I have a hard Austrian accent. :) Maybe I should add English subtitles to it.
I’ve always enjoyed being in front of the camera, as it allows me to share my story and connect with more people.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender stories and characters are typically portrayed in films, newspapers, and books? Do you think they reflect the full reality of transgender experiences?
Johanna: That it's always about being transgendered. Not about your real personality, not about what you have learned from that specific way in your life. Not about how you have survived. Which skills you have developed.
It's often just about the way you look. And that's damn boring. Plus, it's always about being a victim and about how much you suffered, but as far as I am concerned, I feel like a loving sun warrior, not a poor victim. I feel pleased to live such a special life.
I wish there were more stories showing transgender people simply living their lives, thriving, succeeding, and being seen for who they truly are beyond their transition.
Monika: In addition to being a TV celebrity, you also work as a stewardess. How do you handle flirtatious or overly forward passengers?
Johanna: Hahaha, that's a good question. Indeed, many passengers flirt with me and have no clue about who or what I am. In the beginning, it was flattering, but after some time, I found out that as a woman, you have to be very strict with a man and treat him not very nicely, yet he still adores you. It's strange.
And in the end, it's just about the fantasies they have because of the uniform I wear, the strong makeup, and the way I embody the dream of every man. But it has nothing to do with the real me. So, show them exactly where to stop and don't act like a bitch. It’s all about finding the right balance between being firm and professional while keeping your own boundaries intact.
Monika: Many girls dream of becoming a stewardess. Are you satisfied with your job?
Johanna: No, not at all. Being a stewardess just sounds nice. Sure, I’ve seen a lot of places and different cultures, and I would never want to miss those experiences, but people usually forget the poor, demanding working conditions on a plane that you have to struggle with. Now, I’m on part-time because I teach a lot of yoga and shamanism, so it feels great now because I still have the benefits of being a flight attendant but don’t suffer too much from jet lag and the lack of oxygen. It’s a much healthier balance for me now.
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| Enjoying herself in the Maldives. |
Monika: At the time of your transition, did you have any transgender role models that you looked up to?
Johanna: I had one that I adored. It’s been Sabrina Andersrum. All the transgender people and Serbian gays in Vienna know her. She is beautiful, sexual, and yet humble and pure. She really taught me how to be confident in who you are.
Monika: What was the most challenging part of coming out for you?
Johanna: Being alone. Having everyone around you may be against you or at least very touched by your situation. Nothing was normal anymore. You don't feel part of life anymore. You don't feel human anymore. It's so exhausting. You have to act harder and stricter than every man to survive, though everyone expects you to act as gentle as a woman. It was just exhausting. But in the end, I learned to rely on my own strength and embrace the journey on my terms.
Monika: How do you perceive the current status of transgender women in Austrian society?
Johanna: It's good. I mean, we are not in the media, but I feel most of us have become more courageous, partly because I made my story public. Nowadays, many Austrian transgenders don’t lose their jobs during transition because they now have role models and feel stronger to stand up for their rights at work and not let themselves be discriminated against. As I did. Besides, we have a great law that makes it very easy for transgenders to transition without requiring any surgery. Progress is happening, but there is still more work to be done to achieve full acceptance.
Monika: Do you think transgender rights represent the next major frontier in the fight for human rights?
Johanna: I am not sure about that. I feel that most transgenders are either very ego-driven and just obsessed with their looks, or they become aggressive and intolerant, losing a realistic view of life. However, society’s increasing awareness of transgender issues is undeniably pushing the conversation forward in the broader human rights movement.
Monika: Are you involved in political activism or lobbying efforts? Do you believe transgender women can bring meaningful change to politics?
Johanna: No, I am not a political person in that sense. I do my things in public to show a change. I try to eat vegan, regional, and seasonal. I try to lead a conscious and reflective life. With my work as a yoga teacher, I try to awaken sincerity in people and encourage them to create a more loving environment to live in. I believe that true change starts on a personal level before it reaches the political stage.
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| At work in Boeing 777. |
Monika: How significant is love in your life, and how has it shaped your journey?
Johanna: Oh, love is the most important. Most transgenders hate themselves so much. Yet, I always gave my best to treat myself in a loving way with every step I took. During every stage of my transition, I told myself that I am a loving human being and deserve to be treated respectfully. I gave myself all the love that I did not get from others. In life, you can give everything that you miss to yourself. Don't wait for anyone else to give you love. Do it yourself. Love is not just about romance, but also about the kindness and patience you show yourself every day.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Are there any particular fashion trends, colors, or designs that you gravitate toward?
Johanna: I am not a fashion victim. I try to look nice and beautiful sometimes, but most of the time I look like those typical natural punk lesbians. I prefer being androgynous. Comfort and self-expression matter more to me than following trends, and I enjoy mixing masculine and feminine elements in my outfits.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think they help promote visibility and acceptance, or do they reinforce traditional beauty standards?
Johanna: I don't know any. I have no TV at home and I am not so much involved in what is going on. However, I think that if they make people feel confident and celebrated, then they can have a positive impact.
Monika: Many transgender women choose to write memoirs to share their journeys and inspire others. Have you ever considered writing a book about your own experiences?
Johanna: Yeah, I am about writing a shockingly honest book. Hopefully, it's good enough so I will find a publisher. I want to include not just my transition but also the deeper emotional and spiritual lessons I’ve learned along the way.
Monika: Are you currently working on any exciting new projects or creative endeavors?
Johanna: I am currently working on building up my yoga business. Check out my site healingYOGAvienna.com, writing my book which has the working title GleichMut, which means equanimity, but in German, it's two words in one. Gleich means 'same' in the sense of equality, and Mut means 'courage.'
And I still have my kid stories, which I think are the best outcome for me. I have many, many things in my mind and pray to God that I will receive the opportunities to realize them. I believe that when you follow your passion with sincerity, the right doors will eventually open.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria and self-acceptance?
Johanna: Love yourself every day, no matter how you look. Find out who you really are. You are not gender. You are way more than this. The journey is about embracing your whole self, not just the parts that fit into a label.
Monika: Johanna, thank you for the interview!
All the photos: courtesy of Johanna E..
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
Some documentaries with Johanna E.:
Transgender - Mein Weg in den richtigen Körper
Producer: RTL2 Release Year: 2012 "Transgender - Mein Weg in den richtigen Körper" (2012) is a compelling and deeply personal documentary series aired on RTL2 that...
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