Interview with Guta Silveira

Guta Silveira is a Brazilian transgender activist, actress, and author of two biographical books, Homens Não Choram (1994) and Transexual: A História de Uma Vida (2005). Born and raised as a boy, Guta recalls recognising her femininity from early childhood, when playing with her mother's makeup and imagining herself in dresses brought her happiness. As she grew older, she struggled to understand her identity and find her place in the world, eventually coming out as gay before realising that she was a transgender woman. At sixteen, she was elected the first Miss Gay in her hometown of São José do Rio Preto, and at eighteen, she became the owner of what was then the town's first gay nightclub, opening its doors to hundreds of people. Her journey towards self-understanding continued until, at the age of twenty-nine, she joined a multidisciplinary medical programme that helped her recognise her identity and pursue gender-affirming surgery.

 

Following her surgery in December 1998, Guta also succeeded in changing her official documents to reflect her name and female sex designation, an achievement she describes as an important milestone in her life. Her professional journey has included working alongside a surgical team, appearing on television, writing books, and performing on stage. In her interview, Guta speaks candidly about her childhood, her difficult relationship with her father, her experiences with the Brazilian media, and the challenges transgender women face when seeking acceptance and respect. She also shares her views on human rights, political participation, love, fashion, and the importance of self-acceptance. Although she does not identify as a conventional activist who participates in demonstrations or raises flags, Guta believes that transgender people can contribute to every area of society and should never be defined solely by their gender identity. Through her books, acting, and personal experiences, she hopes to encourage other transgender women to embrace themselves, defend their ideals, and find happiness without feeling compelled to meet impossible standards of perfection.

 

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Guta Silveira, an inspirational transgender activist from Brazil, actress, author of two biographical books: "Homens Não Choram" (1994) and "Transexual: A História de Uma Vida" (2005). Hello Guta!

Guta: Hello Monika! Hello girls!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Guta: My story doesn’t deviate much from what usually happens to other transsexual girls. I was born with the body of a boy and I was raised as one. Despite that, when I was 3 years old, I went to the sports club with my mother, and we used to go to the girls' bathroom, which was normal to me, part of my universe. One day I went to the boys' bathroom, and I was stunned by what I saw. Handsome men stirred something in me, but at that age, I didn’t know what it was. I grew up feeling different from my schoolmates, not knowing what my true place was. I loved to use my mother’s makeup on myself when there was nobody watching, and I used rags to fake long hair and wrapped myself in bedsheets to make believe they were dresses; it was all very fun and pleasing.

Monika: When did you begin to understand your feelings and realise that you were different from other boys?

Guta: When I was 9, I began to understand that I liked boys and met other boys who also did. I thought I had found myself, but I was also not the same as they were. Every time we talked about relationships, they used to say they would do “anything” in sex, but I thought I just wanted to be the woman. It obviously took a long time before we had boyfriends, relations, etc., but we always talked about it. I was always pointed out as the most attractive among my friends. I didn’t notice at the time, but I was more feminine and, as time passed, I began being known as “queen” because of my clothes, my feminine manners, and even because of my refusal to go to bed with someone at that age.

Courtesy of Guta Silveira.

Monika: How did your family react to your femininity, and when did you first come out?

Guta: When I was 13, my father began pressuring me, mentioning his growing suspicions about my sexuality. Since nothing was actually known about transgenderism, I came out as gay. It was a turning point, since I had begun rebuilding my standing both in my family and in society, but it wasn’t bad.

Monika: What were your first experiences with relationships, and how did you become involved in the local gay community?

Guta: I had my first boyfriend when I was 14, and I was very happy because he treated me the way I liked: he was the man, and I was the girl in the couple. When I was 16, I was elected the first Miss Gay in my town, São José do Rio Preto, and gained a certain notoriety, but lost my boyfriend. I was always very authentic, and for that reason, I garnered the friendship and tenderness of people.

When I was 18, I became the owner of what was the first gay nightclub in my town for five years, and once again, I opened the doors to hundreds of people who, in some way, started looking at homosexuality with more respect, but I still felt incomplete, as if something was missing. I then started taking hormones, and I felt well, but began dating a boy who asked me to stop. Since I didn’t love myself enough and depended on other people’s love, I did what he wanted. We were practically married, and he made me happy, also because he wasn’t “passive”; he always played the man’s role. One day, we tried changing things, and he let me “penetrate” him, but it wasn’t good for either of us. After that, I never wanted to try it again; it wasn’t in my character to be a “man”.

Monika: How did your personal journey lead you to pursue medical treatment?

Guta: After we broke up, I once again began taking hormones and was happy, so I didn’t stop anymore. I wrote my first book, started working as a drag queen, and found in that a way to be closer to the female appearance I desired without people’s scrutiny, especially my father’s, since I had that appearance at work. I had several boyfriends but still lacked something.

When I reached 29, the Base Hospital here in São José do Rio Preto started working on transsexuality, and I joined the group with two friends. For two years, I was treated by the multidisciplinary team, which included a psychiatrist, a psychologist, an endocrinologist, a urologist, a social worker, and a lawyer. By this time, I truly found myself, because I realised I wasn’t gay or a transvestite. I had always been transsexual without knowing it. I was diagnosed as a primary transsexual, someone who is born transsexual, and so was put forward for surgery, which went flawlessly, without a hitch. Recovery was really tranquil because, since I was operated on in a hospital, I had all the assistance needed to ensure there would be no problems. I was operated on December 18th, 1998, and since then have become a much better person because I began living and feeling my reality as a complete transsexual woman.

Monika: What is your general view on transgender stories or characters which have been featured in the Brazilian media?

Guta: Here in Brazil, people are very opportunistic and value worthless publicity over the chance of speaking openly and realistically about transsexuality. It’s a shame, but very few transsexual people have been taken seriously, even more so because the media are prejudiced, and it’s all the same to them. Gay, transvestite, MtF, FtM transsexuals: they always see us as having a sexual deviation or as sex workers. I had my time when I was constantly interviewed, and I was almost able to show that’s not true. But, as I said, the media aren’t interested in the truth, and many girls just want to show up on TV, even if as prostitutes. It’s a shame…

Courtesy of Guta Silveira.

Monika: You are one of the first transwomen in Brazil to have changed your birth certificate…

Guta: I believe I’m the only one who managed to change all my documentation. One year after the surgery, a lawyer came to me and offered me his services for free, and in eight months I had everything ready. In all my documents, I’m Maria Augusta Silveira, sex: female. That doesn’t happen with all the transsexuals I know; some only get the name changed, but not the sex designation, or the other way around.

Monika: In addition, you are one of Dr. Cura’s “daughters”. Dr. Cura is the most prominent surgeon in Brazil who conducts gender reassignment surgeries. How do you recollect your meetings with him?

Guta: After the surgery, I worked for him for several years, and I admired him a lot. We travelled around Brazil with the rest of the team and put on a lot of lectures. We were a very well-trained team in this work of helping transsexual individuals who desired sexual reassignment surgery, and for a long time we were constantly on several TV channels, and we got along pretty well.

Monika: What changed your relationship with Dr. Cury?

Guta: One day I was invited to a TV show that Doctor Cury wasn’t invited to. Instead, they had Dr. Jalma Jurado as a surgeon, and it was then that everything changed in my story. I knew beforehand that an expert doctor would come from abroad to teach the technique to Dr. Cury, but I didn’t know that it was Dr. Jalma Jurado who had performed my entire surgery, not Doctor Cury. Then, on that day, Dr. Jalma told me the whole truth backstage. I had a very big and very bad surprise. I kept remembering how many times I had stated that Dr. Cury was my doctor, how often I had encouraged people to have surgery with him, after all, I was OK and the surgery was perfect, etc. Only then did I realise he had used me; he had given me the job at this clinic to draw in other transsexuals to have surgery with him. By the time I found all this out, I no longer worked for him, but I lived in a house he rented, from which he expelled me, even cutting off the water and power. This was unnecessary because I had already decided to move out by myself. But I believe I needed that action on his part to believe in this “new” Doctor Cury whom I did not know. Today, I’m thankful for having been operated on by Dr. Jalma Jurado.

Monika: At that time of your transition, did you have any transgender role models that you followed?

Guta: There was Roberta Close, but she gave a few mismatched interviews in which she couldn’t define her sexuality, so she was more an example of beauty. I learned more about transsexuality through the internet, from the doctors on the team, by reading books on the subject, and by watching movies like "Second Serve". Anyway, it was more through my own effort that I learned about it.

Courtesy of Guta Silveira.

Monika: What was the hardest thing about your coming out?

Guta: My father’s reaction. From that day forward, when I told him I was transsexual and that I was undergoing treatment to find out whether I could have surgery, he argued a lot with me, and we grew apart. Today we no longer speak, but that doesn't affect me anymore. I need people who appreciate my happiness, not those who just want me to make them happy.

Monika: Transgender ladies are subject to the terrible test of whether they pass as women. You are a lovely lady yourself, but what advice would you give to ladies who fear not passing as women?

Guta: They shouldn’t be afraid. They shouldn’t try to be perfect, because nobody is. Biological women aren’t all perfect or pretty, and neither are we transsexual women. We must look for our happiness, but if it depends on appearance, then we must be patient, for the hormones prescribed by doctors will have the desired effect. As for whether or not surgery (SRS) should be prescribed, that’s a matter for the doctors, and it’s very important to accept their conclusions about each person.

 

END OF PART 1

PART 2

 

All photos: courtesy of Guta Silveira.

© 2014 - Monika Kowalska

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