Shelley Bridgman is a British stand-up comedian, actress, presenter, writer, and psychotherapist whose life and career reflect a remarkable journey of self-discovery, resilience, and determination. She began performing stand-up comedy in 2004 under the name Shelley Cooper before returning to her real name. In 2012, she received the Silver Stand-Up award at the Leicester Comedy Festival, recognising her achievements as a comedian over the age of 55. Her performances have taken her beyond Britain, including her one-woman show Britishness, which was staged at the Edinburgh Festival before travelling to Rome and New York. She has also co-written and starred in a BBC television sitcom and appeared in Transcripts, a verbatim play produced by New York producer Paul Lucas in 2014.
Beyond the stage, Bridgman has dedicated much of her professional life to psychotherapy, specialising in supporting children and adults experiencing difficulties with gender identity. She previously ran a transgender charity and spent six years directly involved in transgender activism before focusing more on her therapeutic work and performing career. In 2014, she published her autobiography, Stand-up for Yourself: And Become the Hero or Shero You Were Born To Be, an account of identity, personal struggles, self-acceptance, and the courage to build a life true to oneself. Her own journey included beginning her transition at around thirty-four, after marrying and having two children. Despite rejection from some family members and friends, her spouse and children remained supportive.
Monika: Shelley, it is a real pleasure and an honor to welcome you. Hello!
Shelley: Hello Monika!
Monika: Please tell us a little about yourself.
Shelley: Not sure what is most relevant. I have several roles. In addition to stand-up, I am a psychotherapist working with children and adults who have issues with their gender identity. I also do a weekly podcast in which I interview people.
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| “The Role of Therapy Before and During Transition” (YouTube) |
Monika: Over more than 200 interviews, I have noticed how many of my transgender interviewees are stand-up comics: Alison Grillo, Sally Goldner, Natasha Muse, Julia Scotti, and now you. Why do you think that is?
Shelley: I think it is something about having a voice. Many of us, especially transwomen, lose status when we transition, but I think I reconnected with my love of comedy after transitioning. It helped me find a vehicle to express myself.
Monika: Does your comedy often draw on transgender themes?
Shelley: Not now. When I started out, everyone told me I’d have to connect with the audience by owning my transgender status. My first Edinburgh show was called ‘Growing Pains’. I told my story with the aid of humor and gags. Now I connect with who I am so that the audience knows I’m comfortable with myself, but then I move on. So in a twenty-minute routine, I spend 30-60 seconds talking about being a woman who has changed gender.
Monika: Tell me about your most successful shows and performances.
Shelley: I did a one-hour one-woman show called ‘Britishness’ at the Edinburgh Festival five years ago. I got good reviews and was invited to take the show to Rome and then on to New York, where I did a week off-Broadway. It was a great experience.
Monika: Acting and presenting are also part of your career, aren’t they?
Shelley: Yes, I co-wrote and starred in a sitcom that was aired on BBC television. We thought they would make a whole series, but it wasn’t to be. Earlier this year I acted in a play called Transcripts, which was a verbatim play produced by New York producer Paul Lucas. We were in Bridport in Devon and then at The Actor’s Theatre in London.
Monika: Is there such a thing as transgender art, and what does it mean to be a transgender artist?
Shelley: I have absolutely no idea!! I actually don’t identify as ‘Transgendered’. I’ve never really understood what that means. I just feel female and had to modify a few body parts.
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| Shelley on TV (YouTube) |
Monika: What inspired you to write your autobiography, Stand-up for Yourself: And Become the Hero or Shero You Were Born To Be (2014)?
Shelley: Everyone kept telling me to write my story, but I think writing an autobiography is a very arrogant act, with the assumption that we are so interesting and everyone wants to read about us. I included imaginary conversations with my heroes and she-roes as a way of making sense of the various phases in my life.
Monika: Which parts of your experience might be most useful to other transwomen?
Shelley: I think everyone is different, but it is really important not to lose faith in yourself. Society may sometimes look on us as being different, even odd, but we have to believe in ourselves and our right to have equality. There will inevitably be setbacks, but we have to dig in and remember that we all have greatness in us. We shouldn’t deny the world of our talents and who we are.
Monika: At what age did you begin your own transition?
Shelley: I got married and had two children before finally giving up the struggle. I began transitioning when I was about thirty-four, but the process took me about five years because it was hard to get treatment.
Monika: How did your family and friends react along the way?
Shelley: My parents and one of my two sisters found it all too much, but my spouse and children stuck by me. My partner and I just celebrated our fortieth anniversary. My eldest daughter made me a grandmother four years ago, which is an amazing joy.
Monika: Did you follow any transgender role models at the time of your transition?
Shelley: Not really, although I was very inspired by my now friend Adele Anderson from Fascinating Aida. She achieved so much at a time when being transgender was very much looked down on.
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| Interview for BBC (YouTube) |
Monika: Looking back, what was the hardest part of coming out?
Shelley: The rejection from friends and family was tough.
Monika: How would you describe the situation of transgender women in British society today?
Shelley: It’s getting better all the time, but we still have a long way to go. We still have to get equality with pension rights, etc.
Monika: Some say transgenderism could become the new frontier for human rights. Do you agree?
Shelley: I don’t think so, although it is very different in other cultures, so we should never forget the struggle that some of our brothers and sisters face across the globe.
Monika: Transgender stories and characters have appeared in films, newspapers, and books for years. What is your general view of how they have been portrayed?
Shelley: In the main, I’ve hated the portrayals. It always seems to be clichéd scenarios with sex as the core issue. I sometimes think filmmakers assume everyone has the sole objective of getting laid. We recently launched the Trans Comedy award, and there will be a sitcom on British television where the trans character is portrayed in an affirmative light. It will be interesting to see how it is portrayed.
Monika: The transgender cause is usually presented together with the other LGBT communities. As the last letter in the abbreviation, is the T able to promote its own cause within the group?
Shelley: I think we are moving towards a position where the T can stand on its own, but I know a lot of trans activists will disagree with me.
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| TV interview on trans children (YouTube) |
Monika: Politics is another arena where voices count. Are you active in it, do you take part in any lobbying campaigns, and can transgender women make a difference?
Shelley: I used to run a trans charity and spent six years at the coalface, but aside from my own battle with the establishment over my pension rights, I’m now concentrating on psychotherapy and performing.
Monika: What role does love play in your life?
Shelley: My family have been the most important thing in my life. The love of my children and granddaughter kept me focused and sustained me in my darkest hours.
Monika: What is next for you, and where do you see yourself in the next five to seven years?
Shelley: I am in the last year of a doctorate that is looking at the clinical treatment of trans people. I hope I can influence the way we treat people when they show up for help. I then want to get a chat show on the radio and perhaps write another book.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria?
Shelley: Get help and support. I sometimes think we look upon therapy as an admission of weakness, but it is important to get support for what, by any standards, is a huge step when we change gender. As I said earlier, never, ever let anyone tell you that you don’t deserve to stand in your greatness.
Monika: Shelley, thank you for this wonderful conversation!
All the photos: courtesy of Shelley Bridgman.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
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