Lexi Jean McPherson is a British writer, transgender activist, and the author of the autobiographical book HE wants HER, published in 2014. Lexi’s story is an ongoing fight for recognition and equal rights in a society that often refuses to understand transgender lives. Originally from Bradford in West Yorkshire, she later moved to Greater Manchester, where she has built her adult life, worked within an elderly housing association, and found her voice as both a writer and advocate. Lexi’s experiences are deeply shaped by survival as much as by self-discovery. Having faced homelessness herself, she later became a Young Ambassador for the Albert Kennedy Trust, an organization that supports LGBTQ+ young people in crisis, a role that carries both personal meaning and profound responsibility. Her writing is rooted in lived experience, reflecting not only the challenges of transition, discrimination, and coming out, but also the importance of love, resilience, and chosen family.
Through honesty, emotional openness, and an unfiltered perspective, Lexi reminds us that behind every transgender story is a human being fighting to be seen, respected, and loved for who they truly are. She also speaks openly about the impact of representation, drawing inspiration from cultural icons who challenged boundaries and reshaped public perception. Lexi does not shy away from difficult topics such as loss, rejection, and violence, addressing them with empathy rather than bitterness. At the same time, she emphasizes hope, self-worth, and the power of community as essential tools for survival and growth. Her voice is both personal and political, grounded in lived reality while reaching out to others who may still feel unheard or invisible.
Monika: Today it is both a pleasure and an honor to welcome Lexi Jean McPherson, a British writer and the author of the autobiographical book titled “HE wants HER” (2014). Lexi, thank you for joining me today.
Lexi: Hello Monika. Thank you so much for inviting me, I am truly grateful to be here.
Monika: Before we dive into your book and activism, I would love to give readers a chance to get to know you a little better. How would you introduce yourself today?
Lexi: My name is Lexi Jean, and I am a 31-year-old transgender woman. I have been living openly as a woman for several years now, and I currently work at an elderly housing association, which I find both grounding and meaningful. I am originally from Bradford in West Yorkshire, and I moved to Manchester in 2004. I lived there for 11 years, and for the past six years I have been living in Salford, which truly feels like home to me now.
I am also a Young Ambassador for the Albert Kennedy Trust (AKT), an organization that supports lesbian, gay, bisexual, and trans young people experiencing homelessness and crisis. It is an incredible honor and deeply rewarding to help young people who are facing the streets and unimaginable hardship. I was homeless myself for three months before I found support through AKT, and I thank them from the bottom of my heart, because without them, I genuinely believe I would not be alive today. Giving back to the organization that once saved me has become an essential part of who I am.
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| Courtesy of Lexi Jean McPherson. |
Monika: What was the turning point that made you feel your story needed to be written down and shared with the world, rather than kept private?
Lexi: I decided to write my autobiography because I felt that my experiences could relate to people’s everyday lives, what they are going through, and the struggles they face while trying to overcome difficult times. My life has often felt like a battlefield, one in which I am still fighting today for my equal rights and basic recognition. Writing became a form of survival for me, as well as a way to turn pain into purpose.
Monika: Looking back on your journey, which parts of your experience do you feel might resonate most strongly with other transgender women who are still finding their strength?
Lexi: Through my experience as a trans woman, I have realized that wherever you go, there will always be negative energy from people who choose to discriminate. You deserve to be in the body that feels right to you, and you should never back down in the face of criticism. Strength comes from surrounding yourself with as much love and support as possible, because people often fear what they do not understand, and that fear turns into ignorance. Learning to protect your inner peace is just as important as fighting external battles.
Monika: Your transition was not just a personal journey but also an emotional one. When did you begin transitioning, and how did your family and friends respond during that time?
Lexi: I started transitioning in my twenties. At the time, my family did not live in Manchester, so communication was not easy in the beginning. It took my mother about two years to fully come to terms with my transition, but overall my family and friends have been incredibly supportive. That kind of support is essential when you are trying to fulfill your destiny and live authentically.
Monika: During those early years of transition, were there any public figures or role models who helped you imagine what was possible for yourself?
Lexi: Absolutely, I have had several role models. Amanda Lepore is one of them; she is unbelievably beautiful, successful, talented, and strong-minded. To me, she is a legendary icon, much like Marilyn Monroe, admired not only for her beauty but also for her personality and presence in film and culture. She showed me that trans women can be unapologetically visible and powerful.
And of course, RuPaul, who truly is the mother of all drag queens. I adore her beauty and the incredible presence she brings to the stage, and I am a huge fan of RuPaul’s Drag Race. To me, RuPaul represents confidence, resilience, and visibility for gender-diverse people across the world; she feels like a goddess to me, and I live by her quotes, especially “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you going to love somebody else?” and “Good luck, and DON’T f**k it up.” Her words continue to inspire me to own my space without apology.
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| Courtesy of Lexi Jean McPherson. |
Monika: Coming out is often described as both liberating and terrifying. When you look back, what was the most difficult part of that moment for you personally?
Lexi: One of the hardest parts of coming out is the risk of losing people who are extremely close to you, while desperately hoping they will understand and accept you. You never know what kind of reaction you will receive from people you have known all your life, whether it is your parents, friends, or extended family. It is one of the hardest things a person can ever do, and transgender people vary greatly in when, whether, and how they choose to disclose their identity to those around them. That uncertainty can be emotionally exhausting and deeply isolating.
The widespread discrimination and violence faced by the transgender community make coming out a potentially dangerous decision. Fear of retaliation, such as being rejected or even forced out of the family home at a young age, often causes transgender people to delay coming out until they reach adulthood. These fears are sadly rooted in reality, not imagination.
Monika: When you observe the social climate today, how would you describe the current reality for transgender women living in British society?
Lexi: There is simply not enough support for transgender women in Britain today. The level of ignorance and hatred directed at trans women reveals a great deal about the society we are living in. A transgender woman can walk down the street and be verbally abused, misgendered, or threatened, and too often nothing is done to protect her. Across the world, far too many trans women have taken their own lives, been bullied, assaulted, or even raped, and these realities are still not taken seriously enough. More action, support, and proper guidance are urgently needed, because too often it feels like we are ignored and left to survive on our own.
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| Courtesy of Lexi Jean McPherson. |
Monika: When you look at how transgender lives have been portrayed in films, books, and the media, what impressions stand out to you, and do you feel these stories do justice to real experiences?
Lexi: I recently watched a film called The Crying Game, which I found incredibly powerful, not only as a story about gender but also as a love story between a transgender woman and a heterosexual man. What I loved most was how she tries to make him understand that there is far more to her than what is between her legs. It is her heart, her emotions, and her humanity that should be seen, not just her gender. Stories like this help challenge shallow perceptions and encourage deeper empathy.
Monika: Transgender issues are often discussed under the broader LGBT umbrella. From your perspective, does this shared space strengthen the transgender cause, or does it sometimes make it harder for trans voices to be fully heard?
Lexi: Absolutely, being part of the LGBT community is important, because when you look at the letters LGBT, they represent a shared fight for dignity and acceptance. I do not see why the transgender community would want to separate itself, when the LGBT movement is meant to stand for unity and equality for everyone. We are stronger when we stand together rather than dividing our struggles. Unity gives our voices more power and visibility.
Monika: When thinking about activism and visibility, do you see anyone whose impact on transgender awareness could be compared to what Harvey Milk represented for gay activism in the United States?
Lexi: I would probably say RuPaul. Although she is not transgender, she has been an enormous supporter of the transgender community throughout her career. I remember watching a documentary about her early days as a drag queen and being amazed at how everything she touched turned to gold. She has broken boundaries that many people thought were impossible, from building a global media empire to creating a platform that celebrates gender expression and individuality. To me, RuPaul represents confidence, success, and fearless self-expression, qualities that resonate deeply within the transgender community.
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| Courtesy of Lexi Jean McPherson. |
Monika: Politics can feel distant for many people, yet representation matters deeply. How involved are you personally, and do you believe transgender women can influence political change?
Lexi: I am not particularly active in politics myself, but I strongly believe that transgender women can make a huge difference. Simply by being visible and speaking openly, we can help people understand that being transgender is about gender, not sexuality, something that is still widely misunderstood. In politics, transgender women could truly break barriers around the world by challenging outdated systems and demanding recognition. Representation alone has the power to shift minds and policies.
Monika: Love often shapes us just as much as struggle. What role has love played in your life, both in moments of joy and heartbreak?
Lexi: Love is incredibly important to me, it is truly everything. I was once in a relationship with someone I was madly in love with, and when it ended, I was completely devastated and heartbroken, a decision I still regret. Being with someone who loves you for who you are, and not simply because you are a transgender woman, can change your entire outlook on life. That kind of love and support can create a brighter future, because love really does conquer all.
Monika: Fashion can be both self-expression and armor. How do you relate to fashion, and what kind of styles or influences feel most like you?
Lexi: I absolutely love fashion. I am drawn to designer labels such as Chanel, D&G, Diesel, and especially Vivienne Westwood, who is my favorite, but I also enjoy shopping at Primark because they have surprisingly amazing pieces. I love mixing high and low fashion and making it my own. I often buy the cheapest items and turn them into something that feels like a million dollars.
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| Courtesy of Lexi Jean McPherson. |
Monika: Looking ahead, what are your next steps, and where do you hope to see yourself in the next five to seven years?
Lexi: My next step is to continue developing my career as an author; I am currently working on my next autobiography, though it still needs a lot of refining. Any generous editors or writers who want to help, feel free to reach out! (Just kidding.) More seriously, one of my biggest dreams is to open a hostel for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people, to make a real impact on their lives. I believe that creating a safe and welcoming space for others would be both inspiring and deeply rewarding. In five to seven years, I hope to see this vision realized and to continue using my experiences to empower others.
Monika: For young transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria, what advice would you offer them?
Lexi: My best advice is to pay close attention to how being in a certain body makes you feel. That’s what worked for me. I didn’t fully begin to feel like myself until I was living in the gender that matched my identity. Seek support, talk to people who understand, and know that you are not alone in your journey. Surrounding yourself with acceptance and understanding can make an enormous difference.
Monika: Lexi, thank you so much for sharing your story and insights with us today!
Lexi: Thank you, Monika. It has been a pleasure to share my experiences, and I hope my story can inspire others to embrace themselves fully and fearlessly.
All the photos: courtesy of Lexi Jean McPherson.
© 2015 - Monika Kowalska
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