Stephanie Postma entered the spotlight at an age when most of us were still figuring out who we wanted to be. She uploaded her first YouTube video at fourteen, bravely opening a window into her transition for other young transgender girls who might have needed exactly that kind of courage. Today she is a 22-year-old beauty and wellness student who has already completed her transition and is enjoying life with a confidence she fought hard to earn. Her story includes the difficult parts, such as losing the support of her parents, and the joyful parts, such as her first holiday with “F” in her passport and building a new life with her partner. She speaks openly about what it means to live simply as a woman in a world that too often expects transgender women to perform femininity rather than embody it. Grounded, honest, and refreshingly direct, Stephanie’s perspective reflects the dreams of someone who hopes to swap the cold Dutch climate for sunny Barcelona, where she wants to open her own beauty salon. It is my pleasure to share our conversation.
Beyond her YouTube beginnings, Stephanie has shaped a life that reflects her own values rather than the expectations placed on transgender women. She believes in normality, in living quietly and authentically, and in showing the world that her life is as ordinary and as meaningful as anyone else’s. She avoids the spotlight of beauty pageants and the drama of certain online spaces, preferring a world of skinny jeans, lovely tops, and days spent studying the craft she hopes to turn into her future career. Her views on representation are equally grounded; she wants to see transgender women portrayed as real people rather than exaggerated stereotypes. Although she is not involved in politics or the local LGBT community, she understands the power of visibility and carries it with a calm certainty. Her advice to others is simple and heartfelt: love yourself, trust the people who truly care about you, and build a life that feels like your own.
Monika: Today I have the pleasure of interviewing Stephanie Postma, a young Dutch video blogger who has been documenting her transition on YouTube. Hello Stephanie!
Stephanie: Hello Monika! It is lovely to be here and I am excited to share my story with you.
Monika: For those who may be meeting you for the first time, could you introduce yourself?
Stephanie: I am a 22-year-old woman and a student of beauty and wellness in my final year. I enjoy learning everything about the beauty industry because it helps me feel more confident and creative. My studies also give me a sense of direction for the future. I hope to use this knowledge in my professional life someday.
Monika: What made you decide to share your transition journey so openly on YouTube, especially at such a young age?
Stephanie: I was young and I thought I might be an inspiration for other young transgender ladies. I was only 14 when I uploaded my first YouTube video. I wanted to show that starting early is possible and that you can grow into yourself step by step. Looking back, I am proud that I had the courage to do it. It became a way for me to express myself during a confusing time.
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| Taken in Alanya last summer, during her first holiday with F (female) in her passport. |
Monika: How would you describe your current stage in the transition process?
Stephanie: I’m finished! I would really like a boob job in a couple of years, but for the time being it is enough. I am happy with myself and that is the most important thing for me. I worked hard to reach this point and I finally feel peaceful with my body. There is always room for small dreams, but they no longer decide my happiness.
Monika: Are you satisfied with the effects of hormone therapy so far?
Stephanie: Uuuhm, yes and no. I would like to have bigger breasts; now they are a small B cup and I want so badly to have a C cup. As far as the rest of the body is concerned, it is great. Your mind goes a bit weird but it feels nice. You know you're on the right track for the change. Hormones have helped me feel more like myself, and that feeling is priceless.
Monika: Do you have any transgender women whom you consider role models or sources of inspiration?
Stephanie: In the past, yes. But most transgenders that I know are selfish and think that being a woman is a beauty contest, and I like living as a woman, not as a transgender woman. I prefer to follow my own path without comparing myself to others. It keeps me grounded and happy with who I am. I think real strength comes from being comfortable in your own identity.
Monika: Looking back, what would you say was the most challenging part of coming out?
Stephanie: Breaking up with my family. My parents don’t understand how I feel about it. They used to think that I was a gay guy with a strong feminine side, but I’m not gay, I am a straight woman. That was the difference I saw in myself as a woman, whereas other people regarded me as a weird guy. It hurt to feel misunderstood by the people who mattered most to me. Over time I learned to stand firm in my truth, even without their approval.
Monika: How would you describe the current situation of transgender women in your country, based on your own experiences and what you observe around you?
Stephanie: It is like a really small town with people who do not know a lot about transgender people, and I think it works for me to show people that I am normal and that I have a normal life and that someone can love me. I try to let others see that being transgender does not make me any less human. Sometimes people need to meet someone like me to understand that. I believe visibility helps break down many of the old stereotypes.
Monika: When you look at the way transgender characters and stories are portrayed in films, newspapers, and books, what stands out to you the most?
Stephanie: It’s great to see more transgender people in public TV shows, but in my opinion such ladies should be normal people with normal lives and not a lady with big boobs and a lot of Botox so she looks like a sex doll. I think realism is important because it helps people relate to our stories. When the portrayal is exaggerated, it creates distance instead of understanding. I hope the media will continue moving toward more honest and diverse representations.
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| The holidays in Alanya. |
Monika: Do you follow politics or participate in any kind of advocacy, and how do you feel about the role transgender women can play in shaping political change?
Stephanie: No, I don’t, but I think it's great to have a transgender person to represent not only our community. Seeing someone like us in politics shows that we have a place everywhere. It can inspire younger generations who might never have imagined themselves in such positions. Representation can make small but meaningful shifts in society.
Monika: Are you engaged with your local LGBT community, and what has your experience been like when interacting with it?
Stephanie: No, I am not. I have tried it but it's not for me. I prefer to build my life in my own way and at my own pace. Sometimes stepping back gives me more peace and clarity. Everyone supports the community differently, and this is the way that feels right for me.
Monika: Fashion often reveals a lot about a person’s personality. What styles do you enjoy wearing, and are there any particular trends or colors that make you feel your best?
Stephanie: I like to have a small dress for nights and during the day I love skinny jeans with nice boots and a lovely top with a blazer. Clothes help me express my femininity in a simple and comfortable way. I enjoy mixing classic pieces with something playful. Feeling confident in what I wear is very important to me.
Monika: Many transgender women have strong opinions about beauty pageants. What is your view on these competitions and how they portray femininity?
Stephanie: I hate them. You are feeling like a woman? Stand there as a woman and not as a drag queen with too many plastic surgeries. I think natural beauty and authenticity should be celebrated more. Pageants often focus on unrealistic standards that put pressure on many women. For me, being a woman is about being true to who you are.
Monika: Love can shape our lives in profound ways. What role has love played in your journey so far?
Stephanie: I had a relationship for two and a half years; the partner saw everything, the beginning of the hormones and the mood swings plus the operation. That is over, and I have found a new lover. He is two years older than me and we are living together. Sharing my life with someone who understands me has made me stronger. It feels good to have someone by my side who supports my dreams and my growth.
Monika: Many transgender women choose to write memoirs to preserve their experiences and inspire others. Have you ever considered telling your story in a book of your own?
Stephanie: No, I have not. I keep my memories in my head and care for them. They are something special and I love to share them. I feel that holding them close makes them more personal and meaningful. Maybe one day I will change my mind, but for now I prefer to share my story in smaller moments.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are afraid to begin their transition early or who fear discrimination and hostility?
Stephanie: Love yourself, it is the only way you can be happy with yourself, and there are so many people in your life who really love you for what you are. Be yourself, that is the only way to love yourself. It takes time to build confidence, but it is worth every step. Fear will always be there, but love can make it easier to move forward. You are stronger than you think, and there will always be people who support you.
Monika: As you think about your life now, what are your next steps, and where do you imagine yourself in the next five to seven years?
Stephanie: I hope I can make my wish come true and live in Spain, in Barcelona, and open my beauty salon for permanent make-up and other things. The Netherlands is too cold for me and the people are angry. I dream of sunshine and a better atmosphere. I want a place where I can grow my business and feel more at home. It would make me very happy to live somewhere that matches my energy.
Monika: Stephanie, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thank you very much!
Stephanie: Thank you, Monika. It was wonderful to talk with you and share my story. I hope my words help someone who needs a bit of encouragement.
All the photos: Courtesy of Stephanie Postma.
© 2015 - Monika Kowalska
