Beauty, resilience, and advocacy intertwine in the life of Terri Jay, an inspiring figure who has made her mark in the worlds of pageantry, activism, and community service. As a proud Native American transwoman from the Navajo/Zuni Tribes of New Mexico, Terri has not only embraced her identity but has also dedicated her life to uplifting others, particularly transgender women of color facing addiction and homelessness. Terri's journey is one of remarkable courage and determination. From her early years on the Navajo Reservation to her transition at the age of 18 and subsequent relocation to Los Angeles, she has faced and overcome countless challenges. Her path led her to higher education at UCLA, a career as a Certified Addictions Specialist, and a deep commitment to trans rights advocacy. Through her work with APAIT (Asian Pacific AIDS Intervention Team) Health-Center, she continues to be a guiding light for many in the transgender community.
In addition to her professional achievements, Terri found confidence and self-expression in the world of beauty pageants. Though she initially hesitated, encouragement from mentors like Maria Roman propelled her into competitions where she flourished. Winning multiple titles, including "Miss California Anilu Goddess 2015," she has demonstrated that beauty is more than skin deep, it is a powerful force for empowerment and change. Beyond the glamour of pageantry, Terri remains steadfast in her activism. She actively participates in trans rallies and marches, working alongside organizations like the Trans Latina Coalition to fight for justice and visibility. Her journey, influenced by transgender icons like Caroline Cossey, has now made her a role model for others navigating their own paths. In this engaging interview, we delve into Terri’s experiences, her triumphs, struggles, and the wisdom she has gained along the way. Join us as we celebrate the inspiring story of Terri Jay, a woman who embodies strength, elegance, and the relentless pursuit of equality.
Monika: Hello Terri! Welcome to my blog!
Terri: Hi Monika! I am honored to meet you and wanted to thank you for your time and interest to interview me.
Monika: You look fantastic, Terri!
Terri: Thank you very much.
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Terri: Yes, my name is Terri Jay, I am 46 years old and I am a proud Native American Indian transwoman, and I am also a member of the Navajo/Zuni Tribes from the state of New Mexico. I am currently single and am in the dating scene, looking for love with a respectful male partner.
I am very proud to share that I have a fabulous rewarding career as a Certified Addictions Specialist, working in the area of Non-Profit Organization at APAIT (Asian Pacific Aids Intervention Team) Health-Center, located in Los Angeles, California, and working with transwomen of color community who suffer from surrounding Addictions and Homelessness.
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| Awarded "Connie Norman Advocacy" from APAIT's Quest Pageant December 2012. |
Recently, in 2012-2013, I also experienced living in the state of West Virginia but clearly made my decision to move back to Los Angeles, as LA is my home. I completed my transition from male to female at age 18 and have lived my life as a woman for the past 27 years.
I am connected to my Native cultural beliefs on a daily basis through prayers, complete with sage smudging. I enjoy spending time with close friends and making new friends for a lifetime. I love having lovely dinners and traveling for fun or simply taking scenic drives throughout the day.
Monika: What inspired you to pursue being a pageant queen, and when did you first decide to take part in pageants?
Terri: I was personally invited to participate in APAIT’s Quest Pageant in December 2012 by my mentor and role model, Maria Roman, who is a Counselor at APAIT and a reigning crown winner of Miss Universe, Miss California Panache, and several other pageant titles. I gave my full dedication to the competition, participating with 100% determination.
Although I didn’t win the crown, I was honored with the APAIT “Connie Norman Advocacy Award” for my community commitment and involvement as a Peer Advocate with the Red Circle Project, where I worked as a Health Educator. During that time, I provided HIV/AIDS Education and Prevention at community events like Pow-Wows and health fairs. From 2000 to 2012, I also worked as an Alcohol/Drug Counselor with the LGBT community, participating in Alcohol/Drug Treatment Programs such as Social Model, Therapeutic Community, and Outpatient Programs.
Today, I continue my work as a Substance Abuse Counselor with APAIT. Three years after the Quest pageant in 2012, Maria Roman approached me again and invited me to compete in the California Panache Pageant, which took place in San Jose, CA, on March 20th and 21st. I accepted her invitation and gave my best performance, which led to me being crowned “MISS CALIFORNIA ANILU GODDESS 2015” and winning five other trophies in various categories, including Best in Q&A, Talent Presentation, Showgirl Showcase, Wow Wear, and Couture Runway.
Monika: Do you remember your very first beauty pageant experience?
Terri: Yes, I do remember it vividly. It was my first beauty pageant, the “Quest Pageant,” sponsored by the APAIT Health-Center in Los Angeles. The event took place in December 2012, and I was honored with the “Connie Norman Advocacy Award” for my advocacy work. Prior to this, I had never participated in a pageant, so on top of it being my first pageant, I also had fears about being onstage.
However, as I met the other TransWomen pageant contestants, I began to feel more comfortable with them during our three-day event. I dedicated myself to interviewing the judges, practicing dance routines, and rehearsing stage presentations. When the actual Quest Pageant began, I wasn’t nervous, I had a fantastic time and felt confident on stage. My very first Quest Pageant was a success, a fun and unforgettable experience that I’ll always cherish.
Monika: Can you share more about some of your most memorable pageants and modeling events?
Terri: For me, participating in beauty pageants is an exciting opportunity to showcase gowns adorned with sparkling jewelry while posing for cameras. Pageants allow me to stay determined and motivated, and they also contribute to character-building by encouraging me to step out of my comfort zone and have fun with different personas. While I don’t model professionally, I absolutely love posing for countless selfies, and I enjoy photobombing others’ selfies too!
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| Quick selfie with the CROWN March 21, 2015. |
Monika: Beauty often brings with it a sense of girl power and empowerment. How do you embrace and use that power?
Terri: As a Native TransWoman, I believe my true beauty comes from within. I hope that my inner beauty transcends into power and empowerment for others, conveying the message that being a transwoman is about more than just being sexually objectified by society.
Being a TransWoman is not only about beauty, it’s about embodying dignity, pride, respect, confidence, independence, education, and compassion for all.
Monika: You’re also deeply involved in transgender rights activism.
Terri: I actively participate in the trans community by joining Trans Rallies and Marches, particularly to raise awareness about the murders of Transwomen across the country and around the world. The message we spread is one of Justice, Dignity, and Power. I’m involved with rallies and marches through the Trans Latina Coalition, led by the incredible Bambi Salcedo. For me, this involvement is crucial, it allows me to be physically visible and to stand in solidarity with the Trans Community.
Monika: When you transitioned, did you have any transgender role models to look up to?
Terri: When I made my full-time transition at the age of 18, my first known transgender role model was Caroline Cossey, who appeared in the James Bond movie For Your Eyes Only. She was the only well-known, visible transgender person I knew of before I turned 18. However, aside from her, I didn’t have any other transgender role models at that time.
Monika: Are there any transgender women you admire and respect now?
Terri: Since 2012, and continuing to this day, I have two transgender women who I deeply admire and respect. They are both incredible motivators with great charisma and impressive careers filled with life accomplishments. These two role models are Maria Roman, a Counselor for APAIT in Los Angeles, and Bambi Salcedo, the CEO of the Trans Latina Coalition in Los Angeles. Both Bambi and Maria have inspired me to work hard and pursue my goals with strength and determination.
Monika: What was the hardest part of your coming out journey?
Terri: The hardest part of coming out was transitioning from the Navajo Reservation in New Mexico to Los Angeles. I say it’s the hardest because I couldn’t transition while living on the reservation due to the misunderstanding and lack of acceptance within the Navajo community.
However, once I made my transition in Los Angeles, it felt like I was finally born fully as a woman. It was a comfortable decision in 1987, as I truly found myself in Los Angeles. I don’t regret any part of my transition because, as a child, I always knew I was different and that I was meant to be a girl.
Transitioning on the Navajo reservation wasn’t safe for me before I turned 18, and Los Angeles gave me the freedom to complete my transition. I honestly believe I wouldn’t have survived on the reservation, especially considering the strong stigma and discrimination that still exists there today.
Monika: What are your thoughts on how transgender stories and characters have been portrayed in films, newspapers, and books so far?
Terri: I’m grateful that transgender individuals are becoming more visible and discussed in stories. It shows that we, as transgender people, are capable of excelling in various professions, including acting, singing, and much more. I’m honored to be a part of the Trans Community as a working professional woman. These stories and characters are just the tip of the iceberg in showing who we truly are, mothers, fathers, siblings, uncles, aunts, relatives, friends, and co-workers.
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| Contestant at the APAIT's Quest Pageant December 2012. |
Monika: The transgender cause is often presented alongside other LGBT communities. As the last letter in the abbreviation, do you think the transgender community is able to promote its own cause within the broader LGBT group?
Terri: I believe the "T" in LGBT represents a strong connection to the transgender community, for the individuals who have worked hard to become visible in society. However, unlike the first three letters, the "T" represents a community that has only more recently gained attention and recognition. The first three letters in LGBT focus on sexual orientation, while the "T" focuses on gender identity. Despite these differences, I can say that the LGBT community is working incredibly hard to support each other 100%.
Monika: Is there anyone in the US transgender community whose actions could be compared to what Harvey Milk did for gay activism in the 60s and 70s?
Terri: There have been countless unsung transgender women who were visibly strong in advocating and fighting for trans rights during the 60s and 70s. However, due to discrimination and the fear surrounding the transgender community, many of their contributions were pushed into the background. Unfortunately, some transgender individuals lost their lives while fighting for trans rights.
Monika: Are you involved in politics or participate in any lobbying campaigns? Do you believe transgender women can make a difference in politics?
Terri: To be honest, I’m not involved in politics, as I tend to be neutral and find it hard to take a firm stance on both sides. However, I do believe transgender women can make a significant difference in politics. There are many transgender individuals currently in political office, advocating for solutions and representing our community.
Monika: Do you enjoy fashion? What types of outfits do you usually wear? Are there any specific fashion designs, colors, or trends you’re drawn to?
Terri: I’ve always enjoyed keeping up with fashion, especially when I was younger. Today, as I’ve become more mature, I appreciate seeing the latest couture, but I’m content to admire it rather than constantly follow every new trend. My personal style is more laid-back and casual, though I do make exceptions for lovely gowns at special events or professional attire for work and conferences.
Monika: Could you share with me the importance of love in your life?
Terri: Love is incredibly important to me, it’s the core of life for every human being. As a transgender woman, love holds even more significance, intertwined with passion, compassion, respect, understanding, and intimacy with a partner. I’m currently single by choice, as I’m focused on work and other personal journeys I still want to pursue. (Though, I’m sending out a little request, if anyone’s interested, I’m open to dating, haha!)
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| Crowned Title Winner for the 'MISS CALIFORNIA ANILU GODDESS 2015", held in San Jose, Ca. March 21, 2015. |
Monika: Many transgender women write memoirs about their journeys. Have you ever thought about writing a book yourself?
Terri: For the past 15 years, I have thought about writing about my life story that could make an impact on others about my journey as a Native American Indian Transgender Woman from reservation to urban life. I just don’t have any contact with anyone who can begin my process.
Monika: Are you currently working on any new projects?
Terri: As the newly crowned Miss California Anilu Goddess 2015, I’m focused on planning several social fundraising events in the community to advocate for and promote the California Panache Pageant. The next big project I’m excited about is my participation in the upcoming National Pageant, which could take place in Maui, Seattle, or Las Vegas.
Monika: What would you recommend to transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria?
Terri: To all the transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria, I’d say it’s crucial to reach out for help and be honest about your feelings when speaking to your parents, counselors, doctors, or therapists. Asking for help is one of the most important steps you can take, it can literally save your life and guide you to become the best version of yourself. Being transgender is about having confidence, showing respect, embracing your freedom, being honest with yourself, and most importantly, being happy with who you are.
Monika: Terri, thank you so much for the interview!
Terri: You're very welcome, and thank you for the opportunity to share my story!
All the photos: Courtesy of Terri Jay.
© 2015 - Monika Kowalska
Would love to interview Terri !
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