Rachael Evelyn Booth is a woman whose life story reads like a sweeping journey across eras, places, and personal transformations. She grew up in rural Ohio, where as a child she would sit in a field behind her house, waiting for the first star to appear so she could wish to wake up as a girl. That small act of hope became a guiding thread throughout her life. Like many transgender people of her generation, she initially tried to conform to the role society expected of her. She joined the U.S. Navy, where she trained as a Chinese and Arabic linguist, and later built a 30-year career in computer programming and design for naval weapons systems. She also married, raised children, and did everything she could to make life in a male role feel bearable, but the pain of living inauthentically eventually drove her to the edge. After a suicide attempt, she realized that her only way to survive was to live as her true self, a decision that transformed her life. Her transition, which began in the early 1990s, was not easy. She faced discrimination at work, including humiliating restrictions on using the women’s restroom, yet she persevered and ultimately earned respect for her professional skills.
In 2016, she shared her story in her memoir Wishing On A Star: My Journey Across the Gender Divide, written with honesty and humor to help others understand what it means to live with gender dysphoria. She has since expanded her writing to poetry, local history, and even science fiction, channeling her creative energy into projects that both preserve her past and imagine new worlds. Beyond writing, Rachael has lived a life full of diverse passions. She is a martial artist who once taught women’s self-defense, a musician who sings and plays guitar at hospitals and senior homes, and a volunteer ski instructor for people with disabilities. A linguist at heart, she has studied multiple languages, including Mandarin, Arabic, Spanish, German, and French. She has also built community through her North Country Transgender Support Group, offering friendship and resources to transgender people across New Hampshire, Vermont, and Maine. Rachael’s personal life is equally inspiring. After believing she would never find love again, she met the woman who is now her wife, and together they have built a marriage that recently celebrated its 20th anniversary. She is also a proud mother and grandmother, cherishing the reconnection with her family after years of estrangement.
Today, she lives in the mountains of New Hampshire, where she continues to write, perform, and mentor others while embracing the simple joys of nature and companionship. Her life story is not just one of survival but of transformation. By sharing her experiences, she has helped countless others see that it is possible to overcome despair, reclaim one’s identity, and thrive. With candor, humor, and an unshakable spirit, Rachael Evelyn Booth stands as both a chronicler of her generation’s struggles and a beacon of hope for future ones.
Monika: It is my great pleasure today to welcome Rachael Evelyn Booth, an American writer, poet, U.S. Navy veteran, linguist, computer scientist, martial artist, and entertainer. She is also the author of the inspiring memoir Wishing On A Star: My Journey Across the Gender Divide published in 2016. Hello Rachael, and thank you for joining me for this conversation!
Rachael: Hi Monika, thank you so much for inviting me. I’m delighted to be here and to share my story with you and your readers.
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| Her autobiography. |
Rachael: I am a 64-year-old woman living with my wife in the beautiful mountains of New Hampshire. I grew up in rural northwestern Ohio, where I first realized that something felt wrong inside of me. I would sit out in a little field behind our house waiting to wish on the first star so I could be a girl when I woke up the next morning. Thus the name of my first book.
Monika: What paths did you follow before you were finally able to live authentically?
Rachael: As many other trans people of my time did, I tried to find my way in society as a man by first joining the Navy, then getting married and having children, all in an attempt to find something that would make me feel happy in my expected role in life. Nothing worked, and all I ended up doing was bringing more and more people into my life whom I hurt terribly when I finally had to move ahead and become the person I am today.
Monika: Your life has moved through many dramatic chapters, from military service to multiple marriages and raising children. After so much upheaval, how did you find the strength to pursue your own happiness?
Rachael: I never actually went to war. I was afraid I would get drafted into the Army and end up a soldier in the jungles having to shoot people. I also thought I might find my place in male society where I could be happy with who I was. Big mistake. So I joined the Navy, where I was trained as a Chinese and Arabic linguist and was sent to different places because of that.
Monika: How did marriage and family life fit into that search for belonging?
Rachael: During my time in the Navy, I also got married and had children, all as part of an attempt to find a happy place for myself. Marriage and children brought that happiness but only briefly. After the Navy, I worked for 30 years in computer programming and design for naval shipboard weapons systems. During that time, I hit rock bottom and attempted to take my own life.
Monika: What changed after that low point and how did you find the courage to move forward?
Rachael: I finally realized that if I did not go ahead with my life to find my true self, I was going to die. I had always thought that it took unimaginable courage to make this decision. It turned out it was the conviction that I was going to die if I did not. That realization took the weight of the world off my shoulders and I moved forward with my head held high.
Monika: What motivated you to write your autobiography, and what did you hope it would accomplish?
Rachael: I had read many books by trans people before, and they were all either terribly flowery and difficult to read, terribly sad with a "poor me" mentality, or terribly boring with pages and pages of charts and data. I wanted to write a book that people would find informative, honest, and funny. I have used humor throughout my life as a tool to keep people interested in speeches, presentations, and everyday conversations. It works very well.
Monika: Who were you writing the book for, and who did you most want to reach?
Rachael: My main goal for writing this book was to show other trans people who were living in that darkness that almost killed me that they are not alone, and that if I could find a way to survive it and finally become a full person in both body and mind, they could too. I also wrote it to help the families and friends of trans people learn what their loved one is going through in human terms that they could understand.
Monika: What do you wish people who have never experienced gender dysphoria would understand about it?
Rachael: People just do not get what it means to live every day of your life wishing that you did not have to live as the biological gender your birth certificate claims you are, hoping that you can find the strength to live to see just one more day. Most people are born male or female and they take it for granted, it is just who they are. Trying to get people to understand what being transgender is like is similar to trying to explain what colors look like to a person who has been blind from birth; they just do not have any frame of reference to really understand it fully.
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| The guy who was living in Rachael's body for 40 years. |
Monika: Looking back at your journey, what lessons from your own experience do you think could be most helpful for other trans women who are seeking strength and direction?
Rachael: The thing I am proudest of in my road to transition is that I never let any outside influence be a crutch for me to lean on that could possibly become a hindrance to me later. I was convinced that I could do this simply using my own inner strength. I knew that alcohol and drugs would only mask my pain and could lead to horrible addictions, which would be just one more awful thing I would have to deal with. I also stayed away from religion because I did not believe that any god was going to help me. I prayed to God when I was a child, and when I got no answer, I turned to the first star.
Monika: What do you believe is the most important kind of strength for a trans person to nurture?
Rachael: I think that each of us has our own inner strength that is much more effective than we can imagine. I am not saying that you cannot get help, we all have to. I am just saying that we have to use our inner strength to stay away from the quick fix that only gives us more problems to solve.
Monika: When did you begin your transition, and what made you take that step at that particular moment in your life?
Rachael: I first started my transition in earnest in 1991 at the age of 40. After my suicide attempt, it became the easiest thing in the world. Before that, I never thought I would ever find the courage to move ahead knowing that I could lose my job, my friends, and my family. As it turned out, I lost my family for about 20 years, but they are back in my life now.
Monika: What challenges did you face in the workplace once you began living openly as yourself?
Rachael: The most difficult thing I had to endure transitioning at work was the use of the ladies’ rooms. We had three ladies’ rooms in our building, one on each floor, and when some objected to me using them, I offered to use only one certain bathroom. That was not good enough for the few mostly older and religious women who were offended by my presence. So I had to carry a big red sign that said “DO NOT ENTER” with me when I went to the bathroom, knock on the door and announce myself, and, if anyone was inside, wait outside until they came out. Then I would hang my sign on the door, go in and do my business, and then leave and take my sign with me back to my desk.
Monika: What kinds of fears or misconceptions were behind this resistance?
Rachael: The fears of these women were that I was going to ogle them while they were going to the bathroom (how, by standing on the seat and peering over the divider?), sexually assault someone while I was in there (I had been on female hormones long enough that I could not get an erection if I wanted to), or spread AIDS on the toilet seats (they must have thought that if I was making this change I must have been a gay man, and all gay men have AIDS, don’t they? I was not, and they do not). You can see the misinformation campaign that I had to put up with.
Monika: How different was the social understanding of transgender people at that time compared to today?
Rachael: Keep in mind this was 1991, and people had not really ever heard of a transgender person before. I put up with this for one full year until I went to Belgium to have my Gender Confirmation Surgery, and then I tore up my sign and sprinkled pieces of it in all three bathrooms at work, daring anyone to say anything about me being in there now.
Monika: Looking back, how did your career develop once you overcame those obstacles?
Rachael: My company came to see me as the valuable asset that I had always been, and before long I was working with the New Business group traveling around the country as a representative of my company in charge of writing software specifications for new contracts between my company and others. It was all very rewarding and gratifying.
Monika: When you were going through your transition, were there any transgender figures you looked up to or sources of inspiration that guided you?
Rachael: I did not really have any role models at all. The only person I had ever heard of who had done this before was Christine Jorgensen, who had transitioned in the mid-50s. And the only transgender people I ever saw on TV were the ones who showed up on “The Jerry Springer Show.” They were always sensationalized and horrible role models for those of us regular people. But they were the impetus for me to start speaking publicly in nearby universities and colleges about the transgender experience.
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| Rachael's first company Christmas party. |
Rachael: I wanted people to know that transgender people were just normal people like everyone else, with just a slightly different problem than most. I always enjoyed teaching others about the realities of being transgender, and I always learned something more about myself with each lecture.
Monika: Are there any transgender women today whose courage or achievements you particularly admire and look up to?
Rachael: Absolutely. Any transgender man or woman who has the courage to speak out loud and help our community by making the cis-gender crowd understand us more has my utmost respect and admiration. On Facebook right now, there is a veteran named Carla Lewis who posted a picture of herself wearing a t-shirt that said, “I’m transgender and I served my country for your right to hate me.” How courageous is that? I am proud to call her my friend. I also have two transgender female friends down in southern Vermont who are engaged to be married. I love them dearly, and their courage in being out and proud is an inspiration to everyone where they live.
Monika: When you think back to your coming out, what part of the process felt the most difficult for you to face?
Rachael: The hardest thing for me was probably the same as for everyone, breaking the news to the family. My parents did not even want to talk to me about it when all I wanted to do was explain to them that none of this was their fault. I think they were embarrassed by me and by what people would think. When I almost died in 2005 from a tick bite that gave me Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and left me with a stroke and brain damage, they decided enough was enough. They did not like that I could have died and they would have never seen me again. We are now a complete family again and they refer to me as their daughter. My dad even calls me “Sweetie.” I could not be happier.
Monika: How did your children and grandchildren respond to your transition, and how have those relationships evolved over time?
Rachael: Of course, there was also the problem with my children, but they took it better than I could ever have hoped, even after the hate campaign that their mothers tried to drill into their heads against me their whole lives. Inside they knew better. They do not call me Mom, but they do not call me Dad either. We have agreed that “Rachael” is just fine. My grandchildren refer to me as “Aunt Rachael” because of problems earlier with my kids trying to think of what was the right thing to do. My grandchildren are almost 18 now, and after they are adults I will insist that they drop the “Aunt” part and call me “Nana,” which is another word in American English for grandmother.
Monika: The transgender community is often included under the broader LGBT umbrella. Do you think being part of this larger group helps or hinders the promotion of transgender-specific issues?
Rachael: That is a difficult question. As you know, sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender identity, but the two are usually tightly entwined. I know trans women who are straight and have boyfriends or husbands, but as males they were straight and had girlfriends and wives. I also know many trans women who were straight as men and are now lesbians. It can be very confusing. Did the straight men who are now straight women change their sexual orientation, or was their early sexual orientation a function of fear of being seen as a homosexual man? Can sexual orientation change? This is a question for psychologists who know a lot more about it than I do.
Monika: How do you see the inclusion of transgender people within the LGBT community affecting advocacy and support for your community?
Rachael: I think it is a good thing that the T is in LGBT because we are a group that is looked upon as different, and these groups have historically banded together for support against the dangers of those who see us as different. In numbers there is strength, and that has worked well for us all. However, there is certainly a rift in the gay and lesbian community where some believe we should not be under their umbrella. Keep in mind that just because a person is gay or lesbian, that does not mean they automatically understand what it means to be gender dysphoric any more than any other cis-gender person.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender people have been portrayed in films, television, and other media so far?
Rachael: Recently we have been seeing better representations of transgender people in TV and movies. “Orange Is the New Black” features the first openly transgender actress, and the subject is actually discussed by the other inmates of the prison. “Transparent” shows an older man coming out to his family, painfully reflecting on his past life, holding himself back for the sake of his children, and then taking early steps toward becoming Moira.
Monika: Are there any portrayals that you found particularly impactful or that you wished had reached a wider audience?
Rachael: The recent movie “The Danish Girl,” with Eddie Redmayne nominated for Best Actor as Lili Elbe and Alicia Vikander, who won Best Supporting Actress, as Lili’s wife, was a stellar portrayal of what it means to be transgender. However, I was disappointed that the movie had such a limited release in theaters. I am not really sure why, given all of the Oscar buzz that surrounded the movie even before it was released. The only thing that comes to mind for this snub is that the distribution company did not think the subject matter would appeal to most moviegoers.
END OF PART 1
All the photos: courtesy of Rachael Evelyn Booth.
© 2016 - Monika Kowalska
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