Sara-Jane Cromwell is a remarkable Irish author, educator, mentor, and life coach specializing in Gender Identity and Gender Dysphoria. Based in the vibrant city of Cork, Sara-Jane has become an inspirational figure for those navigating the many challenges life can present. Her groundbreaking books, including Becoming Myself: The True Story of Thomas Who Became Sara, Wrong Body, Wrong Life: Living with Gender Identity Disorder in Ireland, and No Ordinary Life, chronicle her extraordinary journey of self-discovery, resilience, and advocacy. Growing up in a conservative suburb of Dublin during the 1960s, Sara-Jane faced immense adversity, from childhood bullying for being left-handed to profound family abuse, yet she transformed these experiences into a lifelong mission of education and empowerment. She has spent decades working to increase understanding of gender identity issues in Ireland, founding organizations, mentoring individuals, and advocating for policies such as the Gender Recognition Act of 2015.
Her work has opened doors for countless people struggling with their own identities and has helped transform the social landscape for gender-diverse individuals in Ireland. Sara-Jane’s approach emphasizes living authentically, exercising self-awareness, and fostering understanding in others, reflecting a philosophy that personal growth and societal change go hand in hand. Beyond her professional achievements, Sara-Jane’s story is one of courage, perseverance, and the relentless pursuit of authenticity. She continues to inspire countless people by showing that embracing one’s true self, even in the face of rejection, trauma, and societal obstacles, can be both empowering and transformative. Her life exemplifies how dedication, resilience, and compassion can create meaningful change not only for oneself but also for the wider community.
Monika: Today I am delighted to welcome my guest from the beautiful city of Cork in Ireland. Sara-Jane Cromwell is a pioneering Irish author, educator, trainer, mentor, and life coach specializing in Gender Identity and Gender Dysphoria. She is also an inspiring figure for anyone facing life’s many challenges. She has written Becoming Myself: The True Story of Thomas Who Became Sara (2008), Wrong Body, Wrong Life: Living with Gender Identity Disorder in Ireland (2010), and No Ordinary Life (2021). Hello Sara-Jane!
Sara-Jane: Hello Monika. Thank you for having me.
Monika: You grew up in Ballyfermot, a suburb of Dublin, during the 1960s in a highly conservative environment where being different was not accepted at all. It may be hard for readers to believe, but you were even considered "retarded" simply because you were left-handed. How did that experience shape your early life?
Sara-Jane: Yes, Monika, unfortunately, all that is true and it caused me huge trauma, which still profoundly affects my life to the present day. Being left-handed in the 60s and 70s was truly terrible and, along with being treated as retarded, exposed me to frequent bullying and abuse, including beatings at home, in school, and while out and about, as well as a great deal of name-calling and rejection.
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| "I was regarded as an attention seeker and too emotional." |
Monika: Your preference for activities and company that were considered traditionally feminine contributed to your isolation among your peers. How did that affect your childhood and your ability to make friends?
Sara-Jane: Again, this is sadly true. I was regarded as an attention seeker and too emotional. I was considered strange because I preferred the company of other girls to play with. Of course that was not the norm back then, so despite my best efforts to conform, I found it impossible to form any close bonds of friendship, which remained the case well into my adult life. I have always regarded this as one of the greatest losses of my life and it added hugely to my feeling lonely and unwanted by others.
Monika: Were you able to rely on the support of your parents during this time?
Sara-Jane: Regrettably no, as is all too apparent in my book No Ordinary Life. They were my chief abusers, followed by my siblings. They subjected me to physical, mental, emotional, and yes, even financial abuse. Some of this continued up to 2008 after my first book was published, and some of it is recounted in my latest book.
Monika: How did you manage to get out of this toxic environment?
Sara-Jane: It took me far too long to move on from them. I did try when I was just 16 years of age; sadly it was my first attempt to commit suicide by jumping off the local canal bridge. But I stopped myself and decided to try to leave home instead. And strangely enough, under those incredibly emotional and distressing circumstances, I decided I would try to change my name, as a way of disassociating myself from them.
Monika: After leaving home, how did your attempts to reconcile with your family unfold, and what ultimately led you to sever contact with them?
Alas, it was to be another three years before I eventually left home. But that did not prevent me from going back again and again in the vain hope that they would somehow have a change of heart and finally love and accept me. On the contrary, despite several failed attempts to reconcile with them, they proved themselves to be utterly duplicitous, causing me to have no further contact with them; and this has remained the case ever since. This finally came about after I disclosed my gender dysphoria. Some let on to being supportive for a while but that soon fizzled out.
Monika: At that time, what kind of medical services were available for transgender women in Ireland, such as hormone therapy, facial feminization, or gender reassignment surgery?
Sara-Jane: They were completely non-existent over those decades and only became available in the late 90s and early 2000s on an extremely limited basis. I have to say at this point that I do not like any of the trans terms. I have only ever seen myself as Sara-Jane Cromwell, FEMALE. I only referred to myself as transgendered until I was diagnosed as gender dysphoric in 2003, and I ceased referring to myself as gender dysphoric on completing my transition and receiving my new birth certificate in 2015.
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| "I really do not wish to be referred to as a transgender woman." |
Monika: What was the transgender community in Dublin like at that time, and were you able to socialise with other transgender women?
Sara-Jane: I lived in Cork the entire time I transitioned, but I did socialise when I was staying over in Dublin while on official TENI and GIDI business, and staying with a former friend. Regrettably, my overall experience with transgendered women was negative. But suffice it to say, for reasons I won’t go into here, I was bullied and traumatised on several occasions by a significant number of transgendered women and activists, which still affects me to this day.
Monika: When you decided to change your name, why did you choose Sara-Jane?
Sara-Jane: I was going to choose a different name, but my then-partner told me it didn’t suit me, that I was more like a Sarah. I also wanted to have a second name and thought of how this would go with my newly chosen surname, Cromwell. I envisioned my name as an author and speaker and how it would appear in publications and elsewhere. Sara-Jane Cromwell was the only perfect fit, encapsulating as it does my nature, character, vast life experience, and the specific people who influenced my life and my decision to change my surname, especially one of my historical heroes, Oliver Cromwell, with whom I identified in a number of important respects.
Monika: Coming out often comes at a high personal cost. What was the hardest part of your experience when you publicly embraced your true self?
Sara-Jane: Dealing with trans people was by far my most negative experience, despite the fact that I was making their lives so much better by the work I was doing on their behalf. The other price I paid was financial, as I had prioritised my work on gender identity-related activities over earning a decent living. This was over many years. The pay-off was to help transform the way all strata of Irish society came to understand many of the issues affecting people struggling with their gender identity, including access to healthcare, the introduction of the Gender Recognition Act, 2015, and my groundbreaking work in other areas such as UCC, among others.
Monika: Many people talk about the idea of "passing" or "non-passing" and how cosmetic surgeries can affect it. How do you view these concepts, and do you think they are useful?
Sara-Jane: I’ve never heard of those terms. What I will say is that I do not believe these terms and the ever-growing lexicon of trans language, along with its appropriation and misappropriation, is helping people understand gender identity issues. On the contrary, I believe they are making the situation significantly worse and causing many, including trans allies, to be afraid and to pull back from engaging with the issue.
Monika: Apart from language, what role does our external appearance play in how we are perceived, and how can we manage it?
Sara-Jane: There are only so many changes we can make in our external appearance. In this regard, we cannot control how other people perceive us and how they interact with us; we may influence it to a certain degree, but we cannot control it. What we can do is self-regulate, stay close and true to what we know ourselves to be, and live our lives accordingly. We can also exercise common sense and not make things more difficult than they need to be. I know a lot of trans people who unnecessarily attract negative attention precisely because of their own negative attitudes and behaviours. However, this is also true of people within wider society; we are not the exception in this regard.
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| "My life and activities have always been multi-varied throughout my transition journey." |
Monika: Beyond our own behaviour and appearance, how can we influence the way others treat us in daily life?
Sara-Jane: From everything I have observed and experienced thus far, the use of language, personal appearance, and behaviour often go together in influencing how others see and react towards us. Too often we complain about how others behave rather than focusing on how we can influence and encourage them to interact with us, which is altogether more positive and productive. We have a responsibility for how we live and behave in the world. We have no more of a divine right to be accepted than anyone else, desirous though it may be.
Monika: Do you remember the first time you saw a transgender woman on television or met someone transgender in person, and what impression did that experience leave on you?
Sara-Jane: Sadly yes, it was on American TV, Jerry Springer and other such shows. They were presented as and behaved like attention-seeking, narcissistic freaks, most of whom clearly had some form of mental or psychological disturbance. They were a laughing stock and not taken remotely seriously. They were viewed as extreme versions of transvestites and crossdressers and subject to all manner of ridicule. It barely got any better over the following years. This was the background against which I went public in 2004.
Monika: During that time, were there any transgender role models you could look up to or learn from?
Sara-Jane: There was a very limited number, two or three at most, mostly non-Irish and for the most part very negative. There were others who appeared in the tabloid papers with their faces covered, their names changed, and stories of how terrible their lives were. None of them really engaged nor left people informed on what it actually meant to be gender dysphoric and why securing our rights was so important. And so the wider community was unable to understand or properly engage with them. I observed all they said and did, then did the exact opposite. By doing so, I founded two organisations and opened many of the doors that helped bring us to where we are today, which is a much better place.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Sara-Jane Cromwell.
© 2023 - Monika Kowalska
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