Monika: Few voices in transgender and LGBTQ+ advocacy resonate as powerfully as Ada Arencibia. As the host of Out of the Closet, Into the World, she has created a platform where authenticity is celebrated, empowering listeners to embrace their truth. Born in Cuba, Ada's journey has taken her across borders and personal evolutions. After moving to the U.S., she navigated cultural shifts, bullying, and self-discovery. Coming out first as gay and later as a transgender woman, she has faced rejection and adversity but emerged as a fearless advocate.
Ada openly shares the realities of the transgender experience, from mental health to relationships, offering insight and hope. Her honesty about her own struggles makes her a guiding light for others seeking their path. Today, I have the privilege of exploring Ada’s journey, advocacy, and the lessons she has learned along the way. Let’s step Out of the Closet, Into the World with Ada Arencibia. Welcome to my blog, Ada!
Ada: Thank you so much for this wonderful opportunity.
Monika: Congratulations on launching Out of the Closet, Into the World! It’s only been a month, but it’s already creating an impact. What kind of stories and topics can listeners expect from your channel? What inspired you to start it?
Ada: Monika! This podcast is my love letter to our community, our struggles, our victories, and our truths. Listeners can expect real conversations about identity, mental health, relationships, and the societal challenges we face. I started it because, for too long, our narratives have been shaped by others. I wanted a space where LGBTQ+ voices, especially transgender voices, could be heard on our own terms. Every episode is a chance to amplify our lived experiences and create a sense of belonging for those who need it most.
Monika: Your first guest was Cezanne Blincoe, a well-known entertainer. What made you choose her to kick things off? Was it her star power, or maybe a bit of personal admiration for her work?
Ada: Cezanne is not just an entertainer—she’s a trailblazer. Her artistry and activism go hand in hand, and I admire how she’s been unapologetically herself. She’s lived so many lives in one, and I knew she’d set the perfect tone for this show: bold, fearless, and full of heart. Her journey resonates with so many in our community, and I wanted her voice to be one of the first people heard on this platform. She’s also an incredible storyteller, and I knew she’d bring both wisdom and humor to the conversation.
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| "This podcast is my love letter to our community." |
Ada: Cuba is beautiful, but it’s also complicated. The warmth of the people, the music in the streets, and the resilience of the culture are real. But growing up there as someone who didn’t fit the mold was tough. It was a place of strict gender roles, and I often felt like I was playing a part in someone else’s story. There was so much unspoken, things you couldn’t say, dreams you had to tuck away. But even in that environment, I found little pockets of freedom, whether it was through art, music, or the rare moments when I could just be myself.
Monika: Do you still have connections to Cuba through family or friends? Has your relationship with the country evolved over time?
Ada: I do, though it’s a delicate relationship. Some family members are supportive, while others still struggle with understanding who I am. Over time, I’ve learned to see Cuba not just as a place I left but as a part of me that I carry everywhere. Even when distance separates us, the language, the memories, and the rhythms of home are still woven into my life. It’s a complicated love, but one that continues to shape me in unexpected ways.
Monika: Moving to the United States came with many challenges, learning a new language, adapting to a different culture, and meeting societal expectations. How did you navigate this new chapter in your life?
Ada: It was a rebirth, but not an easy one. I had to unlearn fear, find my voice, and build my own sense of self. Language was a barrier at first, but the biggest challenge was figuring out where I belonged. Every day felt like a test, learning new customs, understanding unspoken rules, and trying to blend in while still holding onto who I was. There were moments of deep loneliness, but also small victories that kept me going. Over time, I found strength in community, in others who had walked similar paths, and in the realization that I didn’t have to fit into just one mold to belong.
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| "Realizing I was transgender was like finally finding the missing piece of my puzzle." |
Ada: Yes, I remember looking in the mirror one day and feeling an ache I couldn’t explain. I wasn’t just looking for love; I was looking for myself. Realizing I was transgender was like finally finding the missing piece of my puzzle. At first, I tried to ignore it, convincing myself that maybe I just needed to accept the label I had already chosen. But the more I explored my feelings, the clearer it became, I wasn’t just struggling with attraction, I was struggling with identity. Accepting my truth was both terrifying and liberating, but once I did, there was no turning back.
Monika: You’ve shared that in your Cuban family, being gay was already a taboo, and being transgender felt impossible. The pressure to conform to traditional roles, being that macho man, getting married, and having kids, must have been overwhelming.
Ada: It was suffocating. Every expectation felt like a chain, keeping me from being free. But I knew that living a lie would destroy me more than their disappointment ever could. Still, breaking away from those expectations wasn’t easy, it meant risking rejection, losing the support of people I loved, and stepping into the unknown. There were moments when I questioned if I had the strength to go through with it, but deep down, I knew I couldn’t keep pretending. The fear of being my true self was nothing compared to the pain of hiding. In the end, choosing authenticity was the only way to survive.
Monika: Your mother even took you to therapy, believing there was a way to 'fix' you.
Ada: Yes, but looking back, I think she was desperate to understand rather than to hurt me. It took time, but she eventually realized that the only thing that needed fixing was society’s perspective. At first, every session felt like a battle, me trying to defend who I was, and her clinging to the hope that this was just a phase. But over time, as she saw my pain and my determination, something shifted. She started listening instead of resisting, and little by little, love replaced fear. Now, she may not fully understand everything, but she accepts me, and that means the world.
Monika: Your mother sounds incredible. She bought you your first bra and pants, even though she must have felt the pain of losing her son in a way. I remember buying my first bra with my sister, but my mother didn’t quite have the courage to join me at the lingerie shop. How did your mother navigate that moment with you, and how did it shape your relationship?
Ada: It was a moment of quiet acceptance. She was nervous, but she was there. And that meant everything. It wasn’t just about clothing—it was about her choosing to walk this path with me, even if she didn’t fully understand it yet. I could see the conflict in her eyes, the push and pull between love and loss, but she never let go of my hand. That small act of support became a foundation for our healing.
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| "I wish I had given myself more time to explore my emotions and options." |
Ada: Yes, I wish I had given myself more time to explore my emotions and options. Transitioning is deeply personal, and the pressure to do it fast can lead to decisions we later wish we had thought through more.
Looking back, I realize I was so eager to escape the life I had, but I didn’t take the time to fully understand who I was becoming. The rush to feel “right” in my body overshadowed the importance of embracing the journey at my own pace. Some choices I made back then taught me tough lessons, but they also helped me develop a deeper understanding of what it truly means to be myself. Now, I try to remind others that there’s no rush, this is your life, and you deserve the time to make it yours.
Monika: Many of us live the lives of wives, mothers, and daughters, trying to forget about our past. You have decided to be an advocate of transgender rights and be vocal about our positive image in society. Have you ever felt the temptation of being in the closet, being a woman rather than a transgender woman?
Ada: Absolutely. But every time I consider it, I remember why I speak out—because silence doesn’t protect us. If I can help even one person by being visible, then it’s worth it. There were times when I longed for the simplicity of blending in, but I realized that hiding would only perpetuate the stigma we face. Our visibility is power, it’s how we show the world who we truly are. Being open about my journey has allowed me to connect with others in ways I never imagined, and it's made me stronger. It's not just about me anymore, it's about creating a space where future generations of transgender people can live authentically without fear.
Monika: How did you choose the name Ada? Does it hold special meaning for you?
Ada: Mom said the name Ada symbolizes leadership, responsibility, and honor within the family and community. For me, it also represents a sense of continuity, linking my past to my future in a way that feels empowering. Every time I hear it, it reminds me of the strength I've gained and the path I've chosen.
Monika: How do you handle the pressure of "passing," given the constant judgment society places on our appearance?
Ada: I remind myself that my worth isn’t tied to someone else’s definition of beauty or femininity. My existence is valid, regardless of whether I meet their standards. Over time, I've learned to embrace the parts of myself that don’t fit neatly into society's boxes. I've found power in my imperfections, knowing that they make me who I am and are part of my unique journey.
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| "She started listening instead of resisting, and little by little, love replaced fear." |
Ada: We’ve made progress, but we still face discrimination, violence, and political attacks. Visibility helps, but real change requires laws, education, and cultural shifts. The fight for equality is ongoing, and it's not enough to be seen; we need to be respected and understood. It's exhausting to have to constantly prove our humanity, but that’s what motivates me to keep fighting.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Do you follow any specific fashion trends, or do you have go-to outfits that make you feel confident?
Ada: My style is a mix of classic femininity and bold expression. I wear what makes me feel powerful, whether that’s a fitted dress or ripped jeans and a statement top. I love pieces that highlight my confidence and individuality. Accessories are my secret weapon, they can transform any outfit. And no matter what I wear, the most important thing is that I feel like myself.
Monika: Do you often experiment with your makeup?
Ada: Yes! Makeup is an art form, and I love playing with colors and techniques. It’s another way I express who I am. Some days, I go for a natural look, and other days, I experiment with bold eyeshadows or a dramatic lip. I see it as both self-care and self-expression. The best part? There are no rules, just creativity and confidence.
Monika: Did you ever feel pressure to meet a certain ideal of femininity, like I did by trying to look like the women around me?
Ada: Of course. But I learned that my femininity is my own. I don’t have to fit into anyone else’s mold. At first, I thought I had to copy every detail, how other women walked, dressed, or even laughed. But over time, I realized that being a woman isn’t about imitation; it’s about authenticity. I found confidence in embracing both my elegance and my quirks. Now, I celebrate the fact that femininity isn’t one-size-fits-all, it’s as diverse as the women who embody it.
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| "I learned that my femininity is my own." |
Ada: Who doesn’t? (laughs) But I value compliments about my character and work just as much. Looks fade, but the impact we leave on others lasts much longer. A kind word about my strength or resilience means more to me than just hearing that I look good. Still, I won’t deny, when someone tells me I’m stunning, it does make my day!
Monika: What was the most surprising part of your transition that you didn’t expect, either positively or negatively?
Ada: The emotional weight of it all. No one prepares you for how much you’ll grow, lose, and rebuild yourself. I expected physical changes, but the emotional shifts were just as intense. Some friendships faded, while others deepened in ways I never imagined. I also didn’t expect the sheer joy of finally seeing myself in the mirror and recognizing the woman I always knew I was. At the same time, the loneliness of leaving behind a past that others still clung to was something I had to learn to navigate. Transitioning isn’t just about becoming, it’s about letting go, too.
Monika: A lot of trans women are writing their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing your own book?
Ada: Absolutely. My story deserves to be told, and I hope to inspire others with it one day. I’ve thought about how I’d structure it, honest, raw, and filled with the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I want it to be more than just my journey; I want it to be a guide, a source of hope for those struggling to find their path. There were so many moments when I wished I had a book like that to turn to. Maybe one day, my words will be that source of comfort for someone else.
Monika: If you could tell your younger self one thing about being a transgender woman, what would it be?
Ada: You are enough. Always.You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone, your existence is already valid. The road ahead will be tough, but you’ll find strength in places you never expected. Trust yourself, be patient, and don’t let fear dictate your choices. One day, you’ll look back and realize just how powerful you truly are.
Monika: Finally, what’s next for Ada? What dreams and goals are you working toward now?
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Monika: Ada, thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights.
Ada:I want to extend my heartfelt gratitude for this incredible opportunity to share my journey and insights with you and your audience. Your thoughtful questions and genuine curiosity created a space where authenticity and vulnerability could shine. It means so much to be able to speak openly about the transgender experience, the challenges we face, and the victories we celebrate.
Your platform amplifies voices that need to be heard, and I am honored to have been part of this conversation. Thank you for your kindness, your advocacy, and for making space for stories like mine. Let’s keep raising our voices and empowering others together!
Be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel: Out of the Closet, Into the World.
My journey: Intro Part I – A Transgender Woman's Journey to Embrace Her True Self with Ada Arencibia.
All the photos: courtesy of Ada Arencibia.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
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