Monika: Antonia Monopoli is my special guest today. She is a transgender activist, writer, YouTube video creator, and Italian stage actress. For years, she has been in charge of the Trans Desk at the Ala Association, an Italian organization that focuses on health protection, social inclusion, anti-discrimination, and cooperation both nationally and internationally. She is the author of “La Forza di Antonia: Storia di una persona transgender.” Hi Antonia! Thank you for accepting my invitation.
Antonia: Thank you for choosing me for this interview. It's an honor and a pleasure to be interviewed by you.
Monika: Many of us, myself included, live the lives of wives, mothers, and daughters, trying to forget our past. You decided to be an advocate for transgender rights and express our positive image in society. Have you ever felt tempted to hide your past and be just a woman, rather than a transgender woman?
Antonia: I think I hid myself for too long, and at a certain point in my life, exactly in 2002, I decided not to hide anymore. I chose to live my life in the light, not in the shadows, facing whatever life threw at me and trying to be an example for other transgender people. I hope I succeeded.
Monika: Being responsible for the Trans Desk at Ala Association has allowed you to meet and address many issues within the transgender community in Milan. What are the common challenges transgender women face in this beautiful city?
Antonia: The most common challenges are related to work, housing, healthcare, and social issues. There's a two-year period in which a transgender person lives with documents that do not match their appearance, and during this time, they often face increased discrimination and microaggressions.
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| "My experience in theater began at a young age." |
Antonia: A transgender woman in my country still faces the negative consequences of a stigma linked to prostitution, in addition to losing credibility as a woman and losing a role in society.
Monika: You are a woman with many talents. You're also an actress. Could you tell us more about the projects you’ve been involved in?
Antonia: My experience in theater began at a young age. My father worked for many years in a cinema theater in my hometown. Later, thanks to an Italian-Argentine director and playwright who involved me in a theater workshop in 2010, my theater career began.
I also joined the Atopos theater company, performing in “Variabili Umane” and “The Gender Show.” A few years later, another Italian director gave me the role of Lola in the play “Tutto su mia madre,” based on the Almodóvar film. Later, an Italian director and playwright chose me to participate in a theater showcase, “Amori Diversi,” where I had the opportunity to perform a monologue from my 2019 book, “La Forza di Antonia – Storia di una persona transgender.”
Monika: We all pay the highest price for the realization of our dream of being ourselves. As a result, we lose our family, friends, job, and social standing. Did you also pay such a high price? What was the most difficult part of your coming out?
Antonia: I remember that when I lived as a man, I turned to alcohol, attempted suicide, and ran away from home several times. In 1994, I chose to distance myself from my family because I lived my difference as a guilt. Not to mention the discrimination I suffered as a transgender woman in a patriarchal society. But none of this ever made me give up. Over time, I tried to process everything alone to face life as it came.
Monika: What inspired you to write La Forza di Antonia: Storia di una persona transgender (2019)?
Antonia: I wanted people to read my life story and convey the strength that has always lived in me, a strength I have always tried to cultivate.
Monika: Which parts of your story could be helpful to other transgender women?
Antonia: I had a difficult childhood and adolescence, not to mention my early gender affirmation when there were no points of reference for transgender people, like the one I am responsible for today. There were also difficulties in integrating into social and work contexts. I can say that with great difficulty, I managed to be myself and help those in need.
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Available via Amazon |
Antonia: When I chose my name, I changed the last vowel. My birth name was Antonio, and when I decided to be Antonia, I wanted to carry my past with me, saying that thanks to Antonio and everything he went through, today I am Antonia.
Monika: Was your family surprised by your transition?
Antonia: I manifested my female identity at the age of 7. My loved ones were unprepared and tried to help me as best as they could by seeking guidance from mental health professionals. However, they didn’t understand what was happening until, in 2002, I began to take them by the hand and lead them into my world.
Monika: Some people say we are prisoners of the passing or non-passing syndrome. Although cosmetic surgery procedures help us overcome this, we will always be judged accordingly. How can we cope with all of this?
Antonia: Based on my personal experience, I can say that I didn’t experience this passing or non-passing syndrome because I lived my gender affirmation with serenity, without the anxiety of doing everything right away. I underwent two surgeries (first orchiectomy and then breast augmentation) 20 years after starting my transition. So, to answer your question, we must live everything with peace of mind, trying to approach various surgeries with awareness and serenity when we feel the need.
Monika: Do you remember the first time you saw a transgender woman on TV or met a transgender person in real life who opened your eyes and allowed you to realize who you are?
Antonia: At 17, I met someone from my hometown whom I had known a few years earlier with a male identity. When I saw her again, I noticed her transformation, which amazed me and gave me hope. That’s when I understood there was hope for me, too.
Monika: Did you have any transgender sisters around you who supported you during your transition?
Antonia: Certainly. At the beginning of my gender affirmation journey, I had some friends with whom I built friendships and sisterhood.
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| "Every door slammed in my face motivated me to present myself even better." |
Antonia: I've always liked the fashion of the 50s. I used to wear a lot of red; in fact, they called me “the woman with many shades of red.” I wore black during the darker periods of my life because I always saw black as a color of transformation or processing, almost like a spiritual color.
Now, I wear black only occasionally to slim my silhouette. For about two years, I’ve been using blues - midnight, navy, cobalt blue - and I also like gray. I love black and white, which symbolizes yin and yang. I can say I’m a bit vintage.
Monika: I remember copying my sister and mother first, and then other women, trying to appear 100% feminine. My cisgender friends used to joke that I was trying to be a woman that doesn’t exist in reality. Have you experienced the same thing?
Antonia: At the beginning of my gender affirmation journey and for a few years after, I wanted to resemble a cartoon character, Jessica Rabbit, because I always had features similar to hers. I'm 1.83 meters tall, I’ve always liked high-heeled pumps, I had a mass of Titian red hair (my natural color), green eyes, full lips, but I was missing a narrow waist and a fuller bust. I couldn’t get the narrow waist, but I have to say I have a size 5C cup, and what I’ve always loved about Jessica is her sensuality, which every woman should have.
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
Antonia: I remember the many interviews where I presented my candidacy, and because of my appearance, my identity was rejected. I can say I’ve had many doors slammed in my face, but this never discouraged me. On the contrary, for every door slammed, it motivated me to present myself even better, with determination and a desire to work.
Monika: When I came out at work, my male colleagues treated me as though the transition had lowered my IQ. Did you experience the same thing? Do you think it happens because we are women or because we are transgender? Or both?
Antonia: I remember in a work environment (call center), there was a cisgender woman who wanted to teach me how to carry myself because she had been a model when she was younger. According to her, I didn’t have the posture of a cisgender woman because I was a transgender woman. Meanwhile, cisgender men tried to make me feel less intelligent than them.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women seeking employment?
Antonia: Based on my experience, I advise never to get discouraged and to believe more in themselves, in their abilities, and to believe in everything they want for themselves.
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| "Dreams help us live." |
Antonia: A sore topic. I had a love that was important to me because it taught me a lot, even though the relationship was toxic. Later, I had some relationships hoping they would turn into something important, but they never materialized.
At 50, I told myself, as Amanda Lear says, “I’ve closed the boutique.” Enough! Only love for oneself and for those who have been close to me for many years, respecting me and bringing goodness into my life.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women who are afraid of transitioning?
Antonia: Be cautious, face every step with serenity, and have a strong desire to believe in yourself, surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you and who have your best interests at heart.
Monika: My pen pal, Gina Grahame, once wrote to me that we shouldn't limit our potential because of how we were born or what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams shouldn’t end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Antonia: I fully agree. Dreams help us live, and if we manage to realize them with serenity, we will definitely find our happiness in being ourselves. Never give up!
Monika: Antonia, it’s been a pleasure interviewing you. Thank you so much!
Antonia: For me, it has been an honor and a pleasure. Thank you!
All the photos: courtesy of Antonia Monopoli.
Photo credits: Antonio Occhiuto
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
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