Today I would like to introduce a truly remarkable guest, Amanda Elstak, a proudly transsexual singer, performer, and dedicated activist. Amanda has left a lasting mark not only in the Hungarian music scene with her 2007 album Szükségem van a szerelemre (“I Need Love”), but also in civil society. She is the creator of the Hungarian Tolerance Award, the Hungarian Charity Award, and the Hungarian Equal Opportunity Award, and since 2010 she has served as president of the Together for Tolerance Foundation and the Hungarian Tolerance Association. Through her work, she promotes social acceptance and equality, with particular attention to supporting lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and Roma communities.
Amanda is equally at home on stage and in the media. For years she hosted shows at Budapest venues such as Limo Caffe, Capella Caffe, Angyal Bár, and Club Bohemian Alibi, as well as events like the Hungarian Porn Oscar Awards, the Erotica Parade, and the Mr. Gay Hungary beauty pageant. After a long hiatus, she revived the Amanda Elstak Show in 2021, which now welcomes audiences at two Budapest nightlife locations, the Black Unicorn Bar and the Crush Budapest Club. In addition, Amanda teaches alternative therapies, Reiki, crystal healing, and psi-surgery, and as a life coach she helps people find their inner harmony. Her career and life are both inspiring and exemplary. In this interview, Amanda shares how she became one of the most recognized and influential voices of the Hungarian LGBTQ community, the challenges she faced along the way, and what continues to motivate her to work for her community today.
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| "I have never felt it a burden to represent communities." |
Monika: Hello Amanda! Thank you for accepting my invitation.
Amanda: Thank you very much for the interview, it is an honor for me.
Monika: Many people carry multiple roles in their lives and often bear the weight of expectations and past experiences. You have embraced your identity and become a prominent advocate for transgender rights, representing our community publicly. Do you ever feel the burden or pressure of being a transgender activist, and does it ever make you wish you could step back and just live as yourself, without the added responsibility of advocacy?
Amanda: I have never felt it a burden to represent communities and to stand up for the importance of acceptance, tolerance, equal opportunities, and human rights. Unfortunately, in the political system that has been in place for 15 years, where LGBTQ people receive most of the attacks, there is a great need for those who stand up for them, as well as for religious, ethnic, and sexual minorities.
Monika: Looking back on your work as an activist, which of your achievements do you consider the most significant or meaningful?
Amanda: My television appearances in the spirit of tolerance, the first Hungarian Tolerance Award Gala charity event, and my 15 years of work in civil organizations.
Monika: You released your music album Szükségem van a szerelemre (“I Need Love”) in 2007. Are you satisfied with how your music career has progressed since then?
Amanda: Yes, I am satisfied. I believe my 30 years of stage work prove this. To this day, I am the first and only one among the performers to have released a solo music album in Hungary. There was a wonderful music album with the duo Csepy and Irén, which was a fantastic experience for music lovers. There are many wonderful people both in civil society and in the art world, and they should be given more opportunities.
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| "My whole family accepted me." |
Monika: Do you remember what it was like to step on stage for your very first show?
Amanda: I was very afraid, but the love and feedback of the esteemed audience reassured me. I was fortunate to step on stage more as a host, which made my work easier than that of the dear artists.
Monika: What has been your most memorable show so far, or perhaps the funniest one?
Amanda: For me, my child is the Human Values Award Gala, which I have been organizing since 2010, and I also serve as the host of the charity event. At the ceremony, well-known and civil individuals who are worthy receive the Hungarian Tolerance, Charity, and Equal Opportunities Awards. I love when we can bring joy to people who value the human principles I have fought for all my life.
Monika: When you came out, did your mother embrace you as her daughter? And do you feel any connection to her in the way you look, carry yourself, or even in your style and mannerisms?
Amanda: My whole family accepted me and loved me just the same as before my coming out. I resemble my mother and grandmother completely, with our external and internal traits being incredibly alike.
Monika: Do you remember the first time you met a transgender woman in person? What was that experience like, and how did it make you feel?
Amanda: To be honest, I first met three transgender ladies at the same time, since they were also members of the troupe at the nightclub, and I worked with them on stage. I treated them as women and always respected their artistic work. One of them became one of my best friends.
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| "Year by year, my female personality developed." |
Monika: I finally felt free after my transition. How about you? Was there a single moment, or maybe a series of moments, where you truly felt like you had stepped into your most authentic self?
Amanda: Since the age of 7, I felt that I experienced and behaved differently from little boys. Year by year, my female personality developed. I was always determined, always stood up for myself, so I cannot point to a specific time or event for this. Perhaps it was around the time of my first breast implant surgery, which was 28 years ago.
Monika: Many of us feel the pressure to “pass” as women, and even after surgeries, society keeps judging us. How do you personally deal with the outside world’s expectations?
Amanda: I no longer want to live up to the expectations of the majority society. Everything changed a lot after my serious illnesses. I believe that constantly wanting to please everyone, everywhere, made me sick. I am happy to be alive, and as a tolerant, accepting person, I can enjoy the small joys of everyday life. I always tell young people not to let anyone make them believe that they are second-class citizens in majority society.
Monika: What are your thoughts on the current situation for transgender women in your country?
Amanda: They are in a terrible situation. The laws, combined with the government’s propaganda, completely make life impossible for LGBTQ youth. I hope that in the 2026 elections, the power of Fidesz, which has been in government for 15 years, will be broken.
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| "I don’t follow any fashion trends." |
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Do you follow any specific fashion trends, or do you have go-to outfits that make you feel confident?
Amanda: I don’t follow any fashion trends. I really like simple clothing and feminine makeup. In my opinion, less is sometimes more in every situation.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks? Do you find it easy to accept compliments, or do you struggle with believing them?
Amanda: Yes, I like being complimented. However, there is a mirror in my apartment, and I am aware of my actual appearance. I make sure to compliment young people, because they need it to boost their self-esteem. This human gesture costs nothing, yet it makes someone’s day happier.
Monika: Many trans women are writing their memoirs these days. Have you ever thought about writing your own book, and if so, what would its central message be?
Amanda: Yes, I have thought about it and have even received an invitation for it, but at the moment I do not wish to, and I am not able to, talk about it.
Monika: Finally, what’s next for Amanda? What dreams and goals are you working toward now?
Amanda: To organize more charity events, occasions, and concerts in the spirit of tolerance and equal opportunities, and to recover as soon as possible.
Monika: Amanda, thank you so much for sharing your journey and insights.
Amanda: I am sincerely very grateful for the interview.
All the photos: courtesy of Amanda Elstak.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
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