Anja Jürgenssen’s life reads like a journey across worlds, from the rigid discipline of the Royal Marines Commandos to the quiet triumphs of online learning at one of the UK’s largest universities. Born in the northeast of England, she left home at sixteen, chasing an ideal of masculinity that never truly fit her, only to discover, years later, the freedom of living as her authentic self. Three decades in policing exposed her to life at its most raw and fragile, moments of triumph mingling with profound sorrow, until a near-death experience sparked a shift that would change everything. From that turning point, Anja immersed herself in learning, earning qualifications that led her to educate adults and create distance learning programs that reach thousands. Her path as a trans woman in the UK has not been easy. Navigating a healthcare system with decades of gatekeeping, enduring years-long waits for treatment, and facing the societal pressures of “passing” could have been overwhelming, yet she has transformed these challenges into advocacy, mentorship, and support for others.
Through social media, Anja has become a beacon for those seeking guidance, offering empathy, advice, and the occasional laugh while reminding people they are not alone. Influenced by trans leaders who inspired her courage, she has embraced her role as a guide and role model without ever seeking it, proving that authenticity itself is revolutionary. Family, love, and partnership are central to her story. While her parents’ reactions were mixed, her lifelong relationship with her wife has provided unwavering support, a mirror reflecting both her strengths and vulnerabilities. Her approach to style, makeup, and personal expression blends elegance, practicality, and joy, showing that femininity can be playful, intentional, and deeply personal. Anja’s life is also defined by curiosity and innovation. From advocacy work with trans-led organizations to developing multilingual content for her YouTube and Vimeo channels and exploring AR and VR technology, she is constantly seeking new ways to inspire, educate, and connect. Her story is a vivid reminder that transformation is not just about becoming who you are, but celebrating every step of the journey along the way.
Monika: Hello Anja! Thank you for accepting my invitation.
Anja: You’re most welcome and thank you for inviting me to take part in this exciting project.
Monika: For readers meeting you for the first time, could you share a bit about who you are and the journey that brought you here?
Anja: Sure. My name is Anja (pronounced Ann-ya, if that helps), and I’m a trans woman living in the southwest of the UK. I was born in the northeast and left to join the armed forces (Royal Marines Commandos) at 16. On reflection, I know that this was me trying to become a hyper-masculine male, which is not uncommon for many trans women.
Monika: What did life look like after your military service?
Anja: I later joined a Constabulary and served as a warranted police officer for 30 years, which was a mixed bag of highs, for example, when CPR worked and that person lived, and lows, such as watching someone die in a car crash. Following a car crash of my own, in which I was merely a passenger, I had what I describe as an NDE (Near Death Experience), and it changed everything about me.
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| "I’ve been struck by the sources of support." |
Anja: Despite not being academic at all, I became absorbed in learning and education, which resulted in me passing various exams and getting promoted. Later, I undertook a master’s degree and a range of other qualifications, which led me to become an adult educator with a special interest in online learning. More recently, I spent just short of three years developing distance learning materials for staff at the largest university in the UK, The Open University (the OU).
Monika: Could you tell me about your experience with trans healthcare in the UK?
Anja: In the UK, we have an archaic system of medical gatekeeping around trans healthcare, which can feel very much like barriers. Being trans here is not as simple as some would want others to think it is. It took me two years from asking for a referral in my 40s to a gender identity clinic to be diagnosed, which, by today’s standards, is quick.
The national standard for waiting time between referral and first appointment on the UK NHS is 18 weeks. The current waiting time for trans people attending the clinic I went to is in excess of eight years (yes, over eight years), and that’s just to get the date of the first appointment! If any other condition was so poorly provided for, I’m of the opinion that it would be a national scandal.
Monika: Sharing personal moments, especially those that touch on identity, love, and self-discovery, can be both empowering and vulnerable. What inspired you to open up and share your intimate life experiences on social media?
Anja: Everyone is different, and I wasn’t influenced by anyone. Although, at my darkest moments, it was heartening for me to see others I could relate to, who had overcome the same issues I was facing. Back then, I led a team of highly motivated and high-performing work-based competency assessors. One day, I received some feedback in which I was described as being a ‘role model’, something I really struggled with because I wasn’t ‘out’ to anyone, and I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders about that.
Monika: How did you come to terms with being seen as a role model?
Anja: My wife explained to me that ‘you don’t get to choose to be someone’s role model, they pick you, so the only thing you can do is be the best version of yourself that you can.’ So, I made the conscious decision that when I left the police, I’d be exactly that, and the rest, as they say, is history. I have to say, this has been one of my best decisions for so many reasons.
Monika: Engaging with followers on social media often leads to a flood of curiosity and heartfelt messages. Do you receive a lot of questions from your audience? What are the most common things they ask about, whether it’s advice, personal experiences, or words of encouragement?
Anja: I’ve been struck by the sources of support from what I considered to be the most unlikely of people. There’s no doubt that there are some comments behind closed doors, but that’s on them, not me. I had a colleague I’ve known for 30 years come out to me as a transvestite, which was very moving, and another colleague come out to me as being bisexual, which was equally moving and empowering, to think that others would trust me and feel safe coming out to me.
Monika: Outside of those personal moments of trust, what kinds of questions do people usually ask you?
Anja: Having been fortunate enough to attend the Trans Leaders Academy run by the European trans advocacy NGO, TGEU, my particular interest is in advocacy. I don’t consider myself an activist, although I do attend Prides and recently helped carry a huge rainbow flag at Gloucester Pride. On that basis, I tend to get asked more about employment, criminal, and equal rights/human rights law. But sure, sometimes someone will ask awkward questions about genitals and sexual orientation, though I can’t remember the last time anything like that came up.
One of the great strengths of the LGBT+ community is the solidarity across the entire spectrum of members, and I feel privileged to be able to encourage others, especially if they are struggling. I have a video I made four years ago called 10 Things Every Trans Person Should Know, which touches on a few key points. This interview has made me push a refresh of that earlier video higher up my to do list, and I've produced a revised version for 2025 in English. When I've completed the French, German and Spanish versions, I'll generate the Avatars, so a static Avatar will have to do for now.
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| "My wife explained to me that ‘you don’t get to choose to be someone’s role model, they pick you." |
Monika: Choosing a name is such a deeply personal decision, one that can hold layers of significance and meaning. How did you come to choose the name Anja? Does it carry a special resonance for you, perhaps representing a part of your journey or embodying a particular feeling or aspiration?
Anja: One of the many wonderful things about being trans is that we get to choose our own name, and although I did test out a few names, my chosen name is Anja Jürgenssen. Despite its Nordic/Northern European origins, I’m 100% British. I chose it after a brief period of traveling across Sweden and Norway.
I wanted something that had nothing but positive connotations and reminded me of happy memories, being in a place and with people who brought me nothing but joy. Hearing my name pronounced correctly across the concourse at a coffee shop in the new Berlin Airport was a moment of pure trans euphoria for me, and I’ve never regretted choosing it. Some people struggle, of course, and I sometimes get called AnnJeya, but that’s okay, they soon pick it up.
Monika: When you came out, did your mother embrace you as her daughter? And do you feel any connection to her in the way you look, carry yourself, or even in your style and mannerisms?
Anja: My mother was a radio presenter on a local BBC Radio station, and she wasn’t sure what I was talking about at first but soon accepted me. She took me shopping and gave me some good advice. Over time she became less supportive for a range of reasons, which was more about her than me. My wife tells me that I can look like my mum at times, and I hear some of her words when I speak, so there is a clear connection, but I’m very much a different person from my parents.
Monika: And how did your father respond when you came out to him?
Anja: I describe my dad as a salty old sea dog who’s spent more time at sea than on dry land, and when I came out to him, he hit the roof. Over time he’s become a firm ally and supporter of my transition. He did explain that he wished he’d spent more time ashore, as that might have helped me be ‘normal,’ but he understands now that him not being there would have had no impact on me being trans or not.
Monika: During your transition, did you have any transgender role models who inspired you or helped guide your journey?
Anja: That’s a fantastic question, and the short answer is yes. At one of my lowest points, when I thought things were impossible, I saw so much of myself in Sona Avedian, a former US Marine. Her YouTube video inspired me to accept that even when things seem impossible, they’re not. Sure, it’s hard, but not impossible, and the first six seconds of the soundtrack bring all that joy back to me. I’ve communicated with Sona about how her video massively impacted me, and she was lovely about it.
Monika: Were there any other figures who had a strong influence on you?
Anja: I read about and finally met Jan Hamilton, also known now as Abi Austen, a former Captain in the British Parachute Regiment. Her advice was like gold dust, even when at the time I was very much ‘in the closet’ and terrified about coming out. She had also been the topic of a documentary about her life, which was a difficult watch in places. I thought her road trip across the Bible Belt of the US was brave, and potentially unthinkable today. She is a real star in my eyes.
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| "I can cry at the simplest of things now." |
Anja: Another superstar is Claire Grace, another former British Army officer, who helped me immensely when I first dipped my toe in the transition pond. At that time, I was an avid reader of the trans advocacy group Press for Change (PFC), who were instrumental in landing the Gender Recognition Act 2004. I’m in awe of Professor Stephen Whittle and his sage-like advice then and now. I could go on about so many wonderful people I’ve met since transitioning, but this could end up being a novel, so I’ll end this here and apologise to the countless people I should have mentioned.
Monika: I finally felt free after my transition. How about you? Was there a single moment, or maybe a series of moments, where you truly felt like you had stepped into your most authentic self?
Anja: In a word, yes! In two words, oh yes! I was in Portugal when I came to the decision that I couldn’t go on like this anymore. I was angry with the world, I was aggressive, and I now know that many people were “terrified” of me (an actual quote). I was around 270 lbs, bald, and had an aura about me that others were very much aware of. I had built my own prison cell, and each bar on the window was a fear that I had, fear of being ‘found out’ and all the negative things that come with that. And I’d had enough. One day I found myself walking past a train station in Exeter as what I call ‘the real me,’ and I remembered the 16-year-old kid who arrived there some 30+ years earlier on my way to join up. Boy, I’d come a long way since then.
Monika: After that breakthrough, what moments stand out to you as affirmations of your authentic self?
Anja: Since then, there have been so many moments, not least when a woman just randomly complimented me on my perfume in a supermarket one day, and then another woman did the same the next day in another supermarket.
Walking into bars where people knew the old me, as me, and people just getting on with life is great and reminds me that my fears about other people’s reactions were just that, fear. That said, I’ve had some fantastic advice and professional guidance around cosmetics, so I think preparation is important. And whilst I don’t consider myself ‘passable,’ I think I do OK.
Monika: Many transgender women have a variety of experiences with hormone therapy. Looking back, how do you feel about the physical and emotional effects it’s had on you?
Anja: I can cry at the simplest of things now, something I was not able to do before HRT. I’m much more intuitive now, too. Thankfully, I’m happier about life, and I feel like I’m living a life that at one time only felt possible in a dream.
As for physical changes, the loss of stamina and strength was a shock, and no amount of preparing for that made it any less noticeable when it happened. It’s a small price to pay, in my opinion, for the massive benefits that come with being finally happy. Breast growth was interesting, as were the effects on erections, but I’ll leave others to talk about that. Suffice to say, no trans woman on HRT is a threat in that department, in my opinion.
I don’t fear men in general, although I’ve become very aware that I’m potentially vulnerable in many ways, which has been a huge turnaround for me on a personal level.
Monika: The journey to being our true selves often comes with a heavy price, losing friends, family, and sometimes even our jobs. What was the hardest part of coming out for you, and how did you navigate it?
Anja: The hardest part was the decision to wait until I’d completed my contract with the police and then come out. I felt I had a duty to lead my staff first, so they had confidence in me, and that they’d feel let down if I came out to them. I’d seen that happen before when someone was ‘outed’ as gay, and the impact on some members of other teams was difficult to deal with. I felt I had a duty to them first, so yeah, I waited.
Monika: How did your family and those closest to you respond when you came out?
Anja: My family have been great overall, even though I suspect that there’ll still be some comments or jokes here and there, but that’s fine. Being trans is a test of patience and understanding, and it took me 30+ years to come to terms with who I am, so it seems a big ask expecting others to do the same in a much shorter timeframe. My daughter was lovely when I came out to her. She said, ‘One day, no one’ll need to come out, you’ll just be you.’
Monika: What about in your professional life, what was that experience like after coming out?
Anja: My first interview as ‘the real me’ was quite daunting, but I landed a dream job at The Open University, doing what I love, developing learning content for adults. The people I worked with were just awesome, and I once said that ‘the only thing this job doesn’t have... is jam on it!’ I was heartbroken at the end of my contract, but it wasn’t anything personal, far from it, and my time there will remain among my fondest memories.
I was fortunate to become a co-chair of the OU Trans Staff Network, and I created an online course for them in my spare time as a thank-you, which the OpenLearn people kindly offered to host and is available to anyone. I’ve included the audiobook and PDF version for you to share if you think it might be of interest to your readers.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Anja Jürgenssen.
© 2025 - Monika Kowalska
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