Renee Reyes is a successful American transgender entrepreneur, inventor, and philanthropist based in Atlanta, Georgia. Renee made her mark in the business world by inventing a product that allows people to clean “dry clean only” clothes at home using a household clothes dryer, earning eleven patents for her innovations. After selling the enterprise that manufactured and distributed her product, she embarked on new business ventures, drawing on her experience, determination, and entrepreneurial spirit to pursue further ambitions. Having achieved considerable financial success after her transition, Renee is now focused on using her resources to make a meaningful difference in the lives of women, both transgender and cisgender, through her plans to establish a charitable trust.
In our conversation, Renee reflects on her personal journey, including the difficulties she faced during transition and the struggle to accept the uncertainty of a life she could no longer fully control. She speaks candidly about the importance of patience, perseverance, and financial independence, offering advice to transgender women navigating their own paths. Inspired by transgender pioneer Lynn Conway, whom she admires for her technical achievements and commitment to helping the community, Renee also discusses the evolution of transgender representation in the media, the challenges facing transgender women in American society, and the need to build successful lives beyond the familiar world of entertainment. A passionate lover of fashion, art, and antiques, she reveals a personality that extends far beyond her transgender identity, while sharing her thoughts on self-acceptance, happiness, and the responsibility of those who have achieved success to help others.
Monika: Renee, welcome! It is a pleasure to have you with us today.
Renee: Hiya Monika! It’s a pleasure to catch up. I want to congratulate you on your progress and success in sharing the lives of accomplished trans women from around the world. I know it’s lots of hard work and offers little reward. You’re making a difference: good for you!
Monika: You look fantastic, Renee. What is the secret to your beauty?
Renee: I’m now 52 – thus looking “fantastic” is not something that happens every day. I’ve had my share of surgeries: FFS, breast and buttocks augmentation, and a bit of maintenance along the way. Some transgender women were naturals – ideally suited for a change of gender. I wasn’t. I suppose not being naturally pretty was an asset in some respects – I never quit trying to improve.
Monika: Please tell us a little about yourself.
Renee: I’m happy to say I’m finally at a point where the fact I’m transsexual is one of the lesser identifiers for my life. It took a long time to get to the point where my present projects and passions are bigger than my being transgender.
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| Eleven patents later... at the shelf with her inventions. Now preparing to launch her newest technology and company. One more patent? She wins a set of steak knives. |
Monika: Transgender stories and characters have appeared in films, newspapers, and books for years. What is your general view of how they have been portrayed so far?
Renee: I’m glad to see they’re much more positive. When I started actively expressing my alternative gender, most were cast as perverts and serial killers. It’s refreshing to witness that positive evolution. I almost never watch television, so I’ve missed some of the newer portrayals, but I’ve heard very positive things.
Monika: Going back to the time of your transition, did you follow any transgender role models?
Renee: Lynn Conway – we both had a technical background and patents, plus we were both dedicated to maintaining a website that helps others in the transgender community. Lynn’s awesome!
Monika: And what about guidance from outside the trans world?
Renee: I approached and discovered role models outside the trans world to help with success in my business career. I learned from others who once faced significant business discrimination – African Americans and Jews. I learned helpful approaches and mindsets from these wonderful mentors.
Monika: Coming out is rarely easy. What was the hardest part of it for you?
Renee: My inability to accept the fact I was going to completely lose control of my life following the transition. I thought I had it perfectly planned: I didn’t. When my plan wasn’t working, I got depressed and things only got worse. I almost didn’t survive that downward spiral, and I started using drugs to escape my reality – which, of course, made things much worse.
Monika: How would you describe the present situation of transgender women in American society?
Renee: It’s the best it’s ever been – and yet it still has a long way to go. I think the next big breakthroughs are on us – not society. The world is waiting for us to step up and build positive, successful lives beyond the realms of entertainment and reality TV. I’m seeing more transgender women doing just that, and I think their presence and success will drive the way toward better circumstances for all.
Monika: Some people see transgenderism as the new frontier for human rights. Could that be true?
Renee: To some degree it already is. It took us over one hundred years to embrace that people born differently on the outside are no different than anyone else. Sadly, we’re still struggling with the fact that people are also born differently on the inside, i.e., being gay. Transgenders represent a difference on both the inside AND outside – we’re stretching the concept of acceptance in society. We’ll get there!
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| Living with two of her greatest passions: art and antiques. |
Monika: Transgender women face the harsh test of whether they pass as women or not. You are a lovely lady yourself, so what advice would you give to women who fear they will not pass?
Renee: You just hit upon what is indeed the bane of almost every transgender woman’s journey. Effective passing is crucial – particularly for newly minted full-time girls. It’s hardest at first – we’re less confident, know little about appropriate fashion, and lack the resources to accumulate such accouterments – at the exact time we need them most.
Monika: How does that pressure set transgender women apart from the rest of the queer community?
Renee: It’s what completely separates us from the rest of the queer community – alas, it doesn’t cost $100,000 just to BE gay. Also, they don’t have to invest hundreds of hours practicing and perfecting a new role that’s required just to be accepted out of the starting gate.
Monika: How long does it take to pass seamlessly, and why does it matter so much?
Renee: It takes a very long time to pass seamlessly, since a huge component is absolute confidence. However, it’s the biggest key to enjoying your life as a transgender woman, since it allows free encounters with new friends without first dealing with the trans subject.
It takes time – usually more than we want to embrace. It takes lots of practice. Girls who give it up and degenerate into an “accept me as I am” approach often face a lonely path. Don’t ever quit trying to improve your style and presentation. Once perfected, your life is much more fun and successful.
Monika: Politics is another area where voices matter. Are you active in it, do you take part in any lobbying campaigns, and can transgender women make a difference there?
Renee: My role in the political landscape will continue to be financial support. I’m one of the few transsexual women lucky enough to become a self-made millionaire after my transition. We have a lot of girls able and willing to lead causes but usually lacking the financial resources to support those arguments. I committed too many sins to ever be a front face in politics. Also, what makes me best at my work – unwillingness to compromise – is not ideally suited for success in politics.
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Monika: The transgender cause is usually presented together with those of the other LGBT communities. As the last letter in the abbreviation, can the transgender community promote its own cause within the group?
Renee: In my opinion, the least of our problems is our placement in the queer acronym – it’s structural. Being gay is being gay: it’s about homosexuality. Being transgender is about gender identity – which represents a very wide range of manifestations. Each subset has different needs – even taking offense at the needs and forms of expression of the others. We’re the smallest subset, but we’re greatly divided in our agendas. Until we improve that issue, we’ll struggle to create a cohesive identity.
Monika: Do you like fashion? Tell me about your usual outfits and any designers, colors, or trends you favor.
Renee: No, I don’t like fashion – I LOVE fashion. The size and scope of my closets are a little scary. One of my best female friends loves to tell others I would be worth marrying just for unlimited access to my closets. Pinterest has become my new best friend. I wear a different outfit every day of the year. I pull a base item I find appealing – go to Pinterest for novel matching ideas – and give that ensemble a whirl. If I don’t receive at least two compliments from strangers regarding my newest outfit? I never wear it again.
Monika: Many transgender women write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing a book of your own?
Renee: No, I don’t plan on writing a memoir. I’ve twice been approached by producers about creating a script for a movie about my journey – I turned them down without hesitation.
Monika: What makes you so determined not to revisit that chapter of your life?
Renee: A key aspect of my success is rooted in the fact that I learned to throw away my rearview mirror: I don’t re-live past mistakes or successes. I stay focused on what’s directly in front of me. A book or movie would force me to re-live memories I worked hard to forget. My transition wasn’t pretty: I got hurt by people, I hurt myself, and I hurt others – there’s no benefit in revisiting such trauma. Besides, I have too many positive things to accomplish now and in the future.
Monika: Does fame hold any appeal for you?
Renee: I don’t desire to be “famous.” I usually find it annoying and problematic when I’m recognized in a public setting. Also, I survived a pair of unhealthy stalkers – never want to go through that again. Some gals are naturally drawn to being noted or famous – I’m not.
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| “I wear a different outfit every day of the year.” |
Monika: Are you working on any new projects at the moment?
Renee: That’s a bit of an understatement. I’m in the midst of launching the most consequential business enterprise of my life – truly a culmination of life’s work. The fact I’m transgender is kept very low-key – that’s never an asset in a large new venture. I’m creating a charitable trust where the new wealth I create from this new entity can make a difference in women’s lives – trans and otherwise. I’m blessed to already possess enough financial resources to provide for my present and future needs. Thus, I’m in a position to create consequential means for others from my ongoing success. I never dreamed of living a mega-rich lifestyle. However, I do dream of making a difference in my life.
Monika: Many transgender girls struggle with gender dysphoria. What would you recommend to them?
Renee: I mentor one new girl through transition issues each year. I would tell anyone the same thing I tell each of them. Namely: Never Conditionalize Happiness – I finally discovered happiness was a choice – not a byproduct of my present situation. During the worst phase of my life, I was homeless and destitute – but I was happy.
Monika: What role does patience play on this journey?
Renee: Patience – Being successful with transition requires a Ph.D. in Patience. Everything takes much longer than you wish – loved ones need more time to adjust to the new you, jobs take longer to get, love is harder to find. Be patient – but determined. This is a marathon – not a sprint. The transition takes a really long time. Success is defined by the quality of your post-transition life: your sense of well-being, your friends, your family. Girls who try to hurry that evolution? They usually fall down – sometimes never to get back up. This will be a very long journey. Relish that fact – don’t fight it. Become the river – not the salmon!
Monika: What about the practical side, such as work and money during transition?
Renee: Don’t quit your day job – Transition is not cheap. There are no success stories of girls who left their prior life, ran away, got a bunch of surgeries done, and came back to create a perfect female existence. You need your job to pay for this whole process. Will it be humiliating at times? Absolutely. If hormones are making you neurotic, less focused, and irritating? Cut your dosage. Don’t come up with an excuse to quit your job. Do whatever it takes to maintain your income stream. It’s the biggest key to success.
Monika: Renee, thank you so much for this interview!
All the photos: courtesy of Renee Reyes.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
