Violet Bernarde is a young video blogger who has been openly documenting her transition on YouTube, sharing both the challenges and triumphs of her journey. She describes herself as an average girl with a unique trait, embracing the idea that everyone has something that makes them different. Violet began her transition around her twenty-second birthday and quickly became a source of inspiration for others, motivated by a desire to create a personal diary, help the transgender community, connect with people, and support herself financially during the process. Known for her rational, goal-oriented approach, she has navigated the complex realities of hormone therapy, the costs of medical care, and the emotional challenges of coming out.
Violet reflects thoughtfully on the evolving situation for transgender women in her country, expressing both gratitude for the progress made and hope for broader access to healthcare and improved quality of life for all trans individuals. Beyond her personal journey, she admires transgender figures who have inspired her, finds value in connecting with trans stories through media, and contributes to her community simply by existing as a positive role model. Fashion, love, and future ambitions also play a role in Violet’s life, as she balances everyday practicality with curiosity, growth, and the dream of making a meaningful impact in medicine or other ventures. Her story is one of perseverance, reflection, and optimism, offering insight and encouragement to transgender women navigating their own paths.
Monika: Today I am thrilled to have the opportunity to interview Violet Bernarde, a young video blogger who openly documents her transition on YouTube. Hello, Violet!
Violet: Hello, Monika!
Monika: Could you tell us a little about yourself and how you see your own identity?
Violet: I’m an average girl. I just happen to have a trait that other girls don’t, but we all have something that makes us unique in some way. I like to think that embracing what makes us different is part of living authentically.
Monika: What inspired you to share your transition journey on YouTube, and what did you hope to achieve by doing so?
Violet: I shared myself for a few different reasons. I wanted to document my own transition and make a diary of sorts. I wanted to give back to the community and make videos that helped others. I wanted to connect with people for my own sake and it also gave me a little spending money to pay for food, which I didn’t have much of in the beginning. Looking back, I feel proud that my videos might have made a difference for someone else going through the same experience.
Monika: Where are you currently in your transition, and what are the next steps you are planning?
Violet: I would say that I’m at the end, where I’m just finishing up. I’m simply putting money away to polish up with my surgeon so I can be on my merry way. It feels good to see the journey coming to a close and to look forward to the next chapter of my life.
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| "Finally: Ear Rings" (YouTube) |
Monika: Are you happy with the results of your hormone therapy so far, and why?
Violet: Considering the age at which I started my transition, yes, I am. I think my body was fluid enough to carry itself into a new gender. I am grateful for the progress I’ve made and for how my body has responded to the treatment.
Monika: What aspects of your experience do you think could help other transgender women who are planning their transitions?
Violet: I don’t think I necessarily reinvented the wheel, but I think that taking a slightly more androgynous approach has helped me transcend one gender into another. I’m also very goal-oriented, and I think trying to accomplish what you can handle with a rationalist approach is beneficial. I would encourage others to be patient with themselves and trust in the process, even when it feels uncertain.
Monika: How would you describe the current situation for transgender women in your country, both socially and legally?
Violet: I think we’ve improved since Krafft-Ebing’s Psychopathia Sexualis, and I’m thankful that I’m not institutionalized. I’ve been able to live in relative peace with others and I haven’t faced too many problems, though I don’t gamble with my life by taking shortcuts down any dark alleys. I’m unhappy that there are still people, even in liberal areas, who don’t consider the worth of a trans life equal to their own, but not everyone is like that. I’m sure my ability to pass has helped me greatly in avoiding negative situations. I feel fortunate to have the support and understanding of the people around me.
Monika: What are your hopes for the future regarding transgender healthcare and the overall quality of life for trans individuals?
Violet: I’m hoping that in the coming years, Gender Confirmation Surgery will be commonly covered through health insurance in America and that the quality of life for trans people can improve for everyone, not just for those who have been able to save for seven years. The best way to sum up my thoughts about this is that I have hope. I also believe that continued visibility and advocacy will play a key role in achieving these improvements.
Monika: At what age did you begin your transition, and how did you decide that it was the right time for you?
Violet: I started the process of transitioning close to my twenty-second birthday and began hormones about three months afterwards. I felt ready to embrace my true self, even though it was a big step and required careful planning.
Monika: What were the biggest challenges you faced during your transition, and how did you manage them?
Violet: The most difficult part of my American transition was the cost. I could wait for hormones to do their work, though I did have my uncertainty, but the financial burden was tremendous. The first time I got a bill from Quest Diagnostics, which was used to check my body chemistry, it was truly insane. Trying to pay for therapy, doctor visits, hormone treatment, and hair removal kept me financially drained. Then getting a four-figure bill from Quest Diagnostics was just the icing on my poverty cake, not to mention the cost of living and continual car care. I’d have to say the cost of transition was the most difficult part. Looking back, I am proud that I was able to navigate these challenges and continue moving forward.
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| Courtesy of Violet Bernarde. |
Monika: During your transition, were there any transgender role models you looked up to or followed for guidance?
Violet: Vanna ‘Van’ Burnham was an inspiration to me. I watched their eight-month video quite a few times, and it gave me hope that it could be done. Seeing someone navigate their transition so openly made me believe that I could succeed as well.
Monika: Are there any transgender women today whom you admire or respect for their achievements and visibility?
Violet: Andreja Pejic, Lana Wachowski, Renee Raskind, and Jenny Boylan. I don’t look up to anyone in the same way I did when I first started my transition, but I have a high opinion of those four individuals and a small list of others. Their courage and openness continue to inspire me to live authentically and support others.
Monika: What was the most difficult aspect of coming out to friends and family?
Violet: Knowing I was losing so much of what I had. I knew there was no way I was going to keep many of the conservative friends and family from my old physical gender. In the process of coming out, I was aware I would have to have a calculated future in order to continue on after so much loss. To this day I don’t expect to regain any of those lost relationships. Despite this, I have found new connections and communities that bring joy and support to my life.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender stories or characters have been portrayed in films, newspapers, and books so far?
Violet: I think it is absolutely positive that transsexuals are being shown as individuals like everyone else. I enjoy being able to read biographies about other transsexuals and go on their journey with them through media. I find that I’m rather susceptible to their emotions and experiences. It also helps me reflect on my own transition and remember some of the things I’ve forgotten about it. Engaging with these stories encourages me to continue sharing my own experiences for the benefit of others.
Monika: How well do you think the transgender community is able to advocate for itself within the larger LGBT movement?
Violet: I think it is positive that the LGB and the T are able to help and support each other, but I do think that the T can be too silent at times. We don’t always have the same needs as the LGB community and can be overlooked because we are almost our own cause, yet we don’t always have the membership to carry it. It is better to be part of the LGB community than not, but we are still working towards our own goals to improve the quality of life for trans people. Being recognized as a distinct part of the community is important for raising awareness and addressing our unique challenges.
Monika: What are your thoughts on the role of trans individuals after they complete their transition in contributing to the community’s goals?
Violet: I will say that I think we are doing better than we have in the past, but it should also be noted that not all trans individuals stay to further the cause. I don’t hold any negative feelings for those who choose to move on after transition, and in a way, I think they still help the community even though we can’t always see it. Every contribution, whether visible or behind the scenes, strengthens the broader movement.
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| "Where's Violet" (YouTube) |
Monika: Are you involved in politics or any lobbying efforts, and do you believe transgender women can influence political change?
Violet: Not really, no. I try to help other individuals on a case-by-case basis, but on a larger scale, I don’t participate much in lobbying campaigns. I like to think that by existing and being a positive role model, I do help the community. I do believe the trans community can make a difference in politics and lobbying, but it also requires allies to have the greatest impact. One of the biggest assets we have is in our trans allies, and I’ve learned not to underestimate the influence of supportive cis-allies. I think small, everyday actions can ripple into significant social change over time.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style, and what types of outfits do you usually prefer to wear?
Violet: I’m normally wearing scrubs these days, but when I’m not working and in casual wear, I often wear jeans or shorts with a top. I don’t think the things I wear are overly feminine, but my attire has been changing lately. I think of my closet as an average girl's wardrobe. I’d like to ask Stacy London to look at my closet and share her thoughts if I ever got the chance. Fashion is a way for me to express small parts of my personality and mood each day.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants and the role they play in the community?
Violet: I’m not really a fan. There is nothing inherently wrong with them, but I’m just not fond of pageants in general. I’m not actively seeking to participate in one. If Jean-Paul Gaultier gave me the chance to walk the catwalk, I would do it. I think individual expression is more important than competing for recognition.
Monika: How has love influenced your life, especially before and after your transition?
Violet: That’s a complex question for me. Pre-transition, I was never in a relationship in any meaningful sense. After beginning my transition, I’ve had some relationships, and I’d like to think they weren’t just for myself, and I don’t believe they were. However, there was personal growth that changed me, which I don’t think I would have experienced otherwise. I almost didn’t believe in love pre-transition, and a mild part of that disbelief has carried over into my female life. Love has taught me patience, self-reflection, and the value of emotional connection.
Monika: Have you ever considered writing a memoir to share your experiences with a wider audience?
Violet: Yes! If given the time, I’d like to do it, but right now I have enough on my plate. It might still happen one day, but it will have to wait. Hopefully, if the day comes, I’m still interested in the notion. Writing a memoir could be a meaningful way to inspire and guide others in the trans community.
Monika: Are you currently working on any new projects or career goals?
Violet: I’m almost afraid to say because my plans are always evolving. I’ve been really interested in working in the medical field. For a while, I’ve considered working toward becoming an anesthesiologist, but if I’m going for an MD and specializing, I’m half tempted to train as a trans surgeon. Thinking about it too long though wears me out. Right now, I’m focused on what I’ve been putting off for too long so I can save the capital for investment in something else. I feel motivated by the idea of contributing meaningfully to both healthcare and the trans community in the future.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria?
Violet: Find a Gender Specialist, set obtainable goals, and work toward them. Also, remember that there is a life after transition. Don’t work so hard on your transition that you forget that. It’s important to nurture your mental and emotional well-being along the way.
Monika: Violet, thank you so much for sharing your story with us.
Violet: Thank you for your interest in interviewing an average girl in her American transition. I hope my experiences can offer encouragement and insight to others navigating similar paths.
All the photos: Courtesy of Violet Bernarde.
© 2015 - Monika Kowalska
