It has been more than a year since my first conversation with Merryn Witherspoon, and this second interview finds her in a profoundly different place, both personally and professionally. In the time between our talks, Merryn navigated loss, relocation, transition, and transformation with remarkable clarity and determination. She returned to North Yorkshire, embraced her life openly as a woman, underwent facial feminization and voice surgery, and turned her family home into a welcoming B&B that already resonates strongly within the trans community. Alongside these milestones, she became a grandmother, reconnected with her wider family, and continued to reflect deeply on visibility, belonging, and the everyday realities of living authentically.
In this conversation, Merryn speaks candidly about the practical and emotional dimensions of transition, from choosing surgeons and recovering from complex procedures to the subtle yet powerful shift in how society responds to her. She also shares updates on her music, her evolving artistic voice, and her growing commitment to education and advocacy rather than confrontation. Thoughtful, humorous, and grounded, Merryn’s reflections offer insight not only into her own journey, but into a moment of broader change, where trans stories are becoming more visible, more nuanced, and increasingly rooted in lived experience rather than stereotype.
Monika: It has been over a year since we last spoke, and so much seems to have happened in your life since then. Looking back, how would you describe that period of change and uncertainty after our first interview?
Merryn: Many thanks, Monika. It’s nice to keep in touch. Yes, a lot has certainly happened since our first interview in March 2014, which occurred at a time of great uncertainty just after my father had died and my mother was in a nursing home. She then also died shortly afterwards, and I had to decide whether or not to continue with my move back to North Yorkshire.
Monika: What ultimately led you to return to North Yorkshire, and what plans did you make once you decided to go back?
Merryn: Ultimately, I did move back in early July, having decided to move into my late parents’ house and convert it into a B&B, as it’s located in a prime tourist area close to the North Yorkshire National Park and the historic city of York, as well as being close to my birthplace of Scarborough on the north coast of England. It’s a very small rural hamlet with only about ten houses, and I did wonder what the neighbors would make of me.
Monika: How were you received by the local community, and how did this period align with the start of your transition?
Merryn: However, as they had never met the “old” me, they seemed to find it easy to get to know the “new” me and have been wonderful. I commenced formal transition on May 1st, 2014, having been accepted by the clinic, and began an initial low dose of estrogen until late July, when it was doubled. I also arranged for FFS with Facialteam in July and spent three weeks in Marbella having surgery and recovering sufficiently well to enjoy third-week sightseeing and socializing, courtesy of the wonderful Jenny Bowman, who runs Jenny’s Nest and provides specialist accommodation, healthcare, and logistical support to Facialteam patients.
Monika: While you were going through surgery and recovery, your home project was also taking shape. How did those two transformations come together?
Merryn: While Facialteam were reconstructing my face, the builders began reconstructing my house as a B&B. This process has just been completed, and I’ll be opening for business on May 1st, 2015. I already have my first two bookings for May and June, including one trans guest and much interest from other members of our community.
Monika: Beyond surgery and work, you have also had some deeply personal experiences over the past year. What moments stand out most to you now?
Merryn: In October 2014, I went to Seoul for voice surgery with Yeson and then returned to Facialteam in January 2015 for additional FFS. Since then, I’ve been on holiday visiting my South African branch of the family in Cape Town, which has been quite an interesting experience for all of us, especially my 93-year-old aunt, who has been quite amazing. Oh, and in March 2015 I became a granny, another wonderful new experience and one that provokes quite a few thoughts when I ponder her eventually learning my history. Hopefully, by then the whole trans issue will be much better understood and integrated within society to the same extent as has happened with the gay community.
Monika: Many trans women feel that facial feminization surgery can play an even greater role than gender reassignment surgery in easing gender dysphoria and supporting social integration. How did your own journey toward FFS begin, and what steps did you take when searching for the right surgeon?
Merryn: I had been very aware of FFS for about 20 years as a result of learning about Dr. Oosterhuit in America, and it had become my number one priority. I kept myself updated over the years via various trans forums, which debated the pros and cons of leading surgeons in the US, Europe, and Thailand, but there never seemed to be a clear consensus.
In October 2013, I came across several YouTube clips posted by Facialteam patients and then followed up with further research through Facialteam’s own videos and website.
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| Ashcroft B&B - www.ashcroftbnb.com. |
Monika: When you were weighing your options for facial feminization surgery, what ultimately convinced you that Facialteam in Marbella was the right choice for you?
Merryn: I was especially impressed by their techniques and explanations, as well as the fact that they were only a two-hour flight away, which all added up to an optimal solution. My decision was finalized after meeting the surgeons in London at one of their regular free consultations.
I especially liked the fact that Facialteam’s approach provides feminization customized to your face rather than a generic, almost identikit, approach. If they don’t feel that your face requires certain procedures, they will advise accordingly. In addition, the facility offered by Jenny’s Nest was a bonus factor.
Monika: Many women approach FFS with a mix of hope and curiosity about the outcome. What kind of visual guidance or simulations were you offered to help you imagine the potential results?
Merryn: Yes, at many consultations Facialteam provides the free service of Alexandra Hamer, who specializes in photorealistic simulations. These usually give a sufficient initial idea of what might result, though the final result will, of course, depend on the surgical decisions taken during the pre-surgical examinations carried out in Marbella.
Monika: Facial feminization surgery often involves a combination of procedures tailored to each individual. What did your own surgical plan include?
Merryn: The procedures in July 2014 were forehead reconstruction and contouring, brow shaving and contouring, rhinoplasty, facelift, and top lip augmentation. In January 2015, I also had chin remodeling and upper blepharoplasty.
Monika: Recovery is something many people worry about when considering FFS. How did your healing process compare with what you had expected?
Merryn: Much quicker than I’d anticipated. On both occasions, I was in hospital for two nights, and then the stitches were removed seven days later. Facialteam make extensive use of a cold facial mask, which is typically applied overnight following surgery. It’s essentially a rubber mask with cold water circulating through it, the effect of which is to minimize bruising and swelling.
Of course, the first few days aren’t too pretty, but there is typically no great pain, and any discomfort is treated with regular analgesics. The nursing care at High Care Hospital is excellent and is then supplemented by the services of Jenny Bowman during convalescence. For me, the main visible bruising and swelling had all but disappeared after 12 to 14 days.
Monika: Seeing the results for the first time can be an emotional moment. How did you feel as you gradually began to recognize your new face?
Merryn: I had worried about this, but it turned out to be a no-brainer. I wasn’t sure how I would react or whether it would be a major shock, but in reality you don’t actually see your new face immediately and have plenty of time to adjust as the bandages and supports are gradually removed and the swelling and bruising subside.
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| Visiting family in South Africa. |
Monika: In your everyday life, did facial feminization surgery make a noticeable difference in how easily you were able to live and be recognized socially as a woman?
Merryn: Totally. Originally, I had marked on the calendar to go full-time on September 1st, 2014. I had anticipated several weeks of further recovery after returning home and adjusting to living with my new face before really stepping outside as the completely new me.
Monika: What made you decide to go full-time earlier than planned, and how did that change reveal itself once you were back home?
Merryn: By the time I returned home in mid-August, I knew that I would be living full-time from then on. It was very apparent that from the moment I left the house I was being treated as female, and I rapidly became aware of how society treats men and women very differently based on the perception of gender, and how that must condition our own self-perception from an early age. Women were much friendlier and wanted to chat, and men were more generally polite. Not all the time, of course, as some women can still be complete bitches and some men arrogant misogynists.
Monika: Alongside facial feminization surgery, you also chose to undergo voice surgery abroad. How did you first learn about this option, and what led you to consider South Korea in particular?
Merryn: I became aware of Yeson in April 2014 after it came up in conversation with various trans friends. I had been aware of the possibility of voice surgery for a while, but I had always considered it an uncertain and risky procedure until I was told about the Yeson technique.
Monika: What makes the Yeson approach different, and how has it influenced both your voice and the work you still need to do with it?
Merryn: Essentially, Yeson reduces the diameter of the vocal folds through micro-stitching, which carries minimal risk in terms of vocal damage. Changing a male voice to more closely resemble a female voice is a complex and time-consuming task and is not just about raising the pitch. While Yeson helps by providing a platform for increasing pitch without strain and typically softens the male timbre, you still have to work at cultivating female expression, voice position, and overall delivery. I’m still far from perfect, and it will take several more months to improve my technique, but I’m already light years away from where I was last October, pre-Yeson.
Monika: After the surgery, what kind of voice practice or rehabilitation were you expected to do, and how manageable did you find that process?
Merryn: Yes, though I haven’t perhaps been as diligent as I should really be. There are various prescribed exercises to do, but they can be a little difficult to follow, and better video examples from Yeson would be helpful.
Monika: Music has clearly been an important part of your life for many years. How did everything you were dealing with personally affect your songwriting and creative momentum?
Merryn: Ah, the music. After ten years of continuous writing, recording, and performing, I needed a break, and in any event, I was rather forced to take one after my parents died, I relocated, and then had the phased surgeries. I hadn’t focused on music at all until early 2015, but in the last few weeks I’ve been regaining my enthusiasm and pondering what I might do next. I had recorded almost another album with the band during 2013, but it has not yet been released. Because of my transition since making those recordings, I found it a little difficult to know what to do with them and also hadn’t really wanted to listen to them until recently.
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| Returning to my music. |
Monika: What helped you move past that hesitation and reconnect with both the recordings and your sense of artistic continuity?
Merryn: However, I now seem to have managed to pass through that psychological barrier and reconcile my old and new identities to the point where I’ve just agreed to record another two songs with the band in the next few months and then finally release the completed album, which will essentially span my transition. That should make quite interesting commentary for the sleeve notes. We’re planning to donate 50 percent of the sales revenue to an LGBT related charity.
Monika: As you look ahead, how do you feel now about your earlier identity and the possibility of connecting your music more openly with the trans community?
Merryn: When I commenced transition, I was quite keen to hide my previous identity, but I’ve become less sensitive about that now. When the new album is released, I will need to make reference to that aspect, as the band name is actually my original surname. What will happen beyond that remains to be seen. I am potentially interested in partly aligning my music with the trans community, but I am not at all clear yet what shape or form that might take.
Monika: When you think about the artists who have shaped your songwriting over the years, who stands out as having the strongest influence on your musical voice?
Merryn: Hmmmmm, well, my last great major influence has been Richard Shindell, a lovely American guy who is revered as an exceptionally high-quality writer and performer and whom I was fortunate enough to get to know and support at several gigs in the UK and Holland between 2007 and 2010. His influence has mainly been in relation to my ballads, but the more folk rock and country rock material has been influenced by lots of different people over the years, including quite a bit of Mark Knopfler.
Monika: Looking at your creative work more broadly, do you feel that your transition has subtly reshaped the way you write, feel, or express yourself artistically?
Merryn: A good question, Monika. Perhaps in a subtle way. In fact, the last three songs I wrote and recorded in the summer and autumn of 2013 were created during my last major gender crisis and just before I finally made the decision to transition.
In hindsight, I think there was probably a subconscious reflection of that in those particular songs. I don’t really know what will emerge next. I don’t have any specific plans to reflect my own life or trans issues directly in my songs, as that feels a little too obvious and crass, but one or two songs might continue to contain subtle and hidden nods in those directions. I won’t know until something flows from the pen again.
Monika: Beyond your personal journey, do you see yourself playing a role in shaping how trans people are perceived by the wider public?
Merryn: Yes, and I would like to do increasingly more. As I said in the first interview, I am not an activist or particularly political, as there are plenty of others doing that work. I feel my interest is better directed toward being an educator, advocate, and champion, and I believe I can partly do that through music as well as through public speaking and presenting, which I am well used to as a result of my previous corporate background.
Monika: From your perspective, where do you think most misunderstandings about trans people still arise, especially in everyday settings like work or education?
Merryn: The consideration and accommodation of trans people in workplace, educational, and social scenarios is an increasing issue, but understandably most people are fairly clueless and awkward and need educating, as well as being given the opportunity to meet sane and sensible trans people face to face. I am not one for castigating people simply because they use incorrect terminology. At the moment, most do not know any better, despite diversity policy statements sitting unused in desk drawers.
Monika: Have you taken any concrete steps to help create more positive visibility and representation within the community?
Merryn: In January 2015, I established a Facebook page called Trans Talent, Improving T Image, with a view to inviting talented trans artists, musicians, writers, sports people, and others to make themselves visible and to focus on presenting a more positive image of trans people to the wider world. I have been really encouraged by the interest so far, and the page is currently approaching 700 likes.
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| With Facialteam, Marbella. |
Monika: Given everything you have been juggling over the past year, what is your sense of how visibility and awareness of trans issues are evolving in the UK right now?
Merryn: I’ve been so occupied over the last twelve months with personal issues, transition, and building work that I haven’t had much time to keep up with the overall status of the UK trans community.
However, there is no doubt that trans issues are becoming far more visible now, and BBC News recently reported a significant increase in the number of people being referred to gender clinics in 2014. This appears to be part of a broader rise in global trans visibility, as the last great social taboo to be addressed since the gay rights movement.
All in all, these seem to be especially interesting times when it comes to raising awareness of trans issues, and I hope to remain an active part of that.
Monika: When it comes to cultural representation, have you noticed any recent films, television, or books that have caught your attention, or do you feel the media still has a long way to go?
Merryn: Hmmm, sorry, I don’t really have a clear answer, but I think I heard that the BBC has possibly commissioned a trans based comedy series, just as long as Jeremy Clarkson is not in it.
I know that, more globally, Amazon has been promoting its series Transparent to mixed reviews. For me, it doesn’t quite hit the mark, but I would give it eight out of ten for at least trying. Personally, I would like to see more non-fictional and non-sensationalist media coverage of trans issues, and a move away from the constant debate about public toilets.
Monika: As things stand now, what projects are taking up most of your time and energy?
Merryn: Well, there’s the B&B, of course, which opens in May and especially welcomes trans visitors who may wish to spend a few peaceful days exploring the wonderful North Yorkshire countryside and seaside, or who may be convalescing after surgery. Full details can be found at ashcroftbnb.com.
Monika: Beyond the B&B, are you involved in any creative or publishing projects that aim to highlight trans talent?
Merryn: I’m also in the process of compiling a coffee table book about creative trans people and am looking for submissions from ten to twelve individuals who have achieved a degree of public success as artists, musicians, writers, sports people, and similar, and who are willing to be identified and have a piece written about their interests and background. Anyone who feels they fit the bill and would like to be considered for inclusion can contact me at merrynw@mail.com.
Monika: You have also spoken about the importance of direct engagement and education. How are you approaching that side of your work?
Merryn: I’m also offering myself as a public speaker to industry and to any trans interested audience. My current personal belief is that the majority of the public, workforce, management, and teachers have never knowingly met a trans person face to face, and their current views are often understandably influenced by poor or sensational media representation. I’m quite happy to take part in face-to-face opportunities where those attending are free to ask questions and discuss trans issues directly with people who have real insight.
Monika: For trans women who are considering facial feminization surgery and may feel unsure about how to prepare, what advice would you most want to share from your own experience?
Merryn: Well, apart from the obvious aspects like choosing your surgeon carefully, the one thing I would definitely recommend for FFS, and for any major surgery, is to do your body a big favor and get yourself as fit and healthy as possible several months beforehand. That will ensure you give your body the best chance of healing as quickly as possible.
In my case, that meant improving my diet by quitting alcohol at home, eating less red meat, eating more salad, cutting out or reducing sweets and snacks, and going to the gym three times a week for cardio sessions.
Monika: Merryn, thank you so much for sharing your experiences and reflections so openly.
Merryn: Thanks, Monika. A pleasure as always.
END OF PART 2
All the photos: courtesy of Merryn Witherspoon.
© 2015 - Monika Kowalska
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