Yet her quiet impact has rippled through New Zealand's transgender community: from hosting events at Wellington’s Outgames to speaking out about the country's flawed gender-affirming healthcare system, and from creating safer online spaces for trans women to finding love that embraces her fully as she is. In this interview, Jasmine reminds us that womanhood isn't about perfection, it’s about presence, pride, and the grace to move through life on your own terms. Behind the party girl, as she says, is just an ordinary girl. But to those who listen closely, Jasmine’s story is anything but ordinary, it’s a testament to resilience, authenticity, and the joy of finally being seen.
Monika: Today, it is my heartfelt pleasure and true honor to welcome a radiant voice from Aotearoa, Jasmine Sapphire Eastall. She is not only a proud transgender woman and passionate advocate, but also a gentle force of compassion, resilience, and hope within the community. With a journey that spans continents and emotions, Jasmine has touched many lives by simply living her truth with grace. Jasmine, thank you so much for joining me today.
Jasmine: Thank you, Monika! It’s such a joy to be here with you. I’ve followed your interviews for a long time, and to be part of one myself feels really special. I’m deeply honored.
Monika: Let’s begin with your story. For readers meeting you for the first time, how would you describe your journey, both geographically and emotionally, toward becoming the woman you are today?
Jasmine: Currently, I’m living in a lovely valley called Wainuiomata, near Wellington, with my partner and our newly adopted kitten, Desire. In 2004, I traveled through Europe and encountered various transgender communities, each with their own stories and struggles. I felt I needed to get away in order to find myself. It was the only way I could comfortably come out as a trans woman. That journey helped me breathe for the first time in years.
Monika: What were some of the moments during that trip that truly opened your eyes or touched your heart?
Jasmine: At that time, I was still living as a gay male, but deep down, I knew that wasn’t who I really was. There was something more authentic and profound trying to emerge. It wasn’t until I arrived in Spain that it finally clicked, I realized I was trans, and that realization came with a lot of emotional struggle. In Barcelona, I met a lovely trans woman from Portugal. We had a long, meaningful conversation that opened my eyes. It was during that talk that I first learned about hormones. That moment shifted something inside me, and I began to feel a sense of hope.
Monika: Was there anyone else who supported you or helped guide you during that crucial time?
Jasmine: Yes, shortly after, I met another trans woman in a bar called Bar Hollywood at the Yumbo Center in Playa del Inglés, Gran Canaria, where I was working as a floor waitress. Her name was Michelle, and she was one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. She helped me explore and understand myself more deeply. When I returned to London around 2006, I was still living a lie, I wasn’t truly myself. That’s when I had a major breakdown and pleaded with my partner to let me see someone about my dysphoria. Eventually, I met Dr. Richard James Curtis. It took about five months to get the first appointment, and then another three months after that, he started me on hormones. That was in 2008, and it was the beginning of finally feeling whole.
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| Ready for a day out with other transladies Auckland pride parade and after-party 2013. |
Monika: Coming back home after such a transformative journey must have been emotional. How did your return to New Zealand shape the next chapter of your life, especially with your family?
Jasmine: Returning to New Zealand was an important part of my life, it meant revealing the true me to my family. They were a bit distant at first, but now we all just get on like a normal family. I get invited to Christmas with my partner, and I’m welcomed at his family’s events too. I went through a lot of heartache for a few years, so saving for surgery just wasn’t happening. But being embraced by my loved ones has given me strength I didn’t know I had.
Monika: How have things evolved for you since then, both personally and professionally?
Jasmine: Over the last year, my focus has shifted toward getting my life back on track, becoming more career-oriented and offering support to others in need. It’s my passion to promote unity and care within our community. Currently, I’m studying Administrative Services. I’ve worked in many bars, hotels, and restaurants across Europe, so this year I decided to steer my life in a new direction. Starting fresh has given me a renewed sense of purpose and motivation.
Monika: You made headlines in New Zealand when you publicly urged the government to reform its funding system for gender reassignment surgery. Since that courageous appeal, have there been any meaningful developments?
Jasmine: We have a government-funded system that covers three male-to-female and one female-to-male surgeries every two years. Currently, the waiting list is around 20 years. You must be referred by a GP to a specialist, then see at least one psychologist before you can even be considered for the list. I haven't noticed any change, other than the fact that more of us are now aware this option exists. Unfortunately, the surgeon currently handling these procedures is not preferred by many trans women, he is quite old, and his methods seem increasingly outdated. It's frustrating to know that even if you're lucky enough to reach the top of the list, the care may not meet your expectations.
Monika: In your view, how would you describe the current reality for transgender women living in New Zealand today?
Jasmine: To be honest, despite the complaints we sometimes hear, I think we have it pretty good. Yes, discrimination still exists, but on a one-on-one level, people are generally quite nice. You hardly ever hear of trans women being attacked here. We are represented across the workforce, it’s not really an issue with employment, as long as one makes an effort to present themselves respectably. Lately, I believe trans advocate and lawyer Kelly Ellis has done a great job raising awareness about the treatment of trans people in prisons. We’re fortunate to live in a country where at least some progress is being made.
Monika: And what are the challenges or tensions you see within the transgender community itself?
Jasmine: Sadly, many of the issues we face come from within our own community. I’m starting to notice a growing divide among transsexual women, particularly between the older generation and younger people like me. It seems the older generation can be less open-minded, while the younger ones are more accepting of diverse experiences and interpretations of what it means to be transsexual. Sometimes, it feels like we’re still fighting for unity, even among ourselves.
Monika: How would you describe the cultural dynamics between different generations of trans women in New Zealand? Are there noticeable contrasts in how they engage with the broader transgender community?
Jasmine: Sadly, the older community seems to want special treatment compared to the rest of the transgender community. They also often reject the transgender umbrella altogether. Many of us younger transsexuals don’t seem to mind being part of the broader transgender spectrum, really. In general, I find that being a trans woman in New Zealand is quite a gift. Despite the differences, we all want to live authentic lives and be respected. There's a growing need for dialogue to bridge that generational gap and foster mutual understanding.
Monika: Beyond generational perspectives, what are some of the everyday challenges you still face as a trans woman in New Zealand?
Jasmine: I do find that some people from rural areas are still very uneducated, though. Occasionally, cis women will purposely misgender you, but hey, all us girls can get a bit catty when we’re competing for the guys, hehe. It’s a reminder that gender politics play out in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, especially in social spaces. These moments can sting, but they also remind me how far we've come, and how much work is still ahead.
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| S&M's Cocktail and lounge bar. Game show hostess for a fun night during the Wellington Outgames 2011. |
Monika: In your view, is the fight for transgender rights emerging as one of the defining human rights issues of our time?
Jasmine: Yes, I do think that it is one of the big ones gaining momentum at the moment, following the waves of women’s rights, then racial equality, and then the fight for homosexual rights. I think we still have a long way to go internationally. There are encouraging signs of progress, but in many parts of the world, trans people are still struggling just to be seen as human.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender people are portrayed in mainstream media, whether in films, books, or the press?
Jasmine: Most of the time, I am upset by it, as we are always shown as depressed, drugged-up prostitutes, or just as people with loads of issues. I am still waiting on a film that shows a trans woman in the light of The Devil Wears Prada. It would mean a lot to see a character who is empowered, successful, and trans, not because of her pain, but because of her presence.
Monika: And what about how trans people are represented in the news?
Jasmine: In the news, you rarely see the good stuff printed. I also notice they like to highlight the bad things, like a headline might read: TRANSGENDER WOMAN WAS FOUND BASHED AFTER SHE HAD BEEN ON COCAINE BINGE. If it were a cis woman, it would read: WOMAN WAS FOUND BASHED THIS MORNING. The newspapers really enjoy making us look bad. It’s as though our gender identity is used to sensationalize pain instead of humanize us.
Monika: When you were going through your transition, were there any transgender trailblazers in New Zealand who inspired or guided you?
Jasmine: Georgina, Dana, Jacquie, and Carmen can definitely be listed here. I would add Kelly Ellis, she has just received honors from the LGBT community lately. Also Lexie Matheson and Sara Chez. Oh, and I cannot forget Cindy Lewis. Each of these women had their own strength and grace, and I’m grateful for their visibility at a time when it really mattered.
Monika: Looking back on your journey, what was the most emotionally difficult part of coming out as a transgender woman?
Jasmine: First was the fact I was in a relationship with a guy who was really good to me (sadly that fell apart not long after). Also, my family, my biggest fear was losing them, as I am very close to them. It was like standing on a cliff's edge, not knowing if I'd fly or fall.
Monika: Many trans women struggle with the fear of not “passing” as female. As someone who carries herself with such confidence, what advice would you give to those worried about this?
Jasmine: Not to worry too much, what on earth does a woman really look like? Every time I look around, they all look different. Yes, if you look masculine you may have issues, but time will change that, just don’t look too over the top, as you’ll draw unwanted attention. Most important: walk proud! Confidence and kindness are what people really remember anyway.
Monika: Have you ever been involved in transgender activism, community organizing, or political advocacy? Do you believe transgender women can play a vital role in shaping public policy?
Jasmine: I have a Facebook group called “Transsexuals of New Zealand.” It’s a closed group, we had some issues with a few admins being quite nasty, so I had them leave on their own terms and spent the last few weeks tidying it up and weeding out the meanies. I made it closed to encourage some to speak. I was told by those admins that if they left, we would crumble, but no, I have seen the opposite. I have had many who left due to the bitching return and commend me. I was on Genderbridge Inc's Committee for a while, and also helped organize the Transgender Day of Remembrance 2011 in Auckland, so yes, I guess I am quite involved. I truly believe visibility leads to change, and every voice matters.
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| Behind the party girl really I am just an ordinary girl. |
Monika: How has love shaped your journey and helped you feel more accepted as a transgender woman?
Jasmine: For me it is important, it gives me that sense of even better acceptance. I am currently engaged to a lovely guy, we are open to everyone in our families and that gives me a warm feeling. I get invited to his family things all the time, and we are seen as Rory and Jasmine (a couple). I really enjoy it, and his mum treats me just like a daughter, even bought me a lovely white dress for my 30th; she is eager for our wedding. It's amazing how love can create a space where you feel completely safe and seen.
Monika: Do you enjoy expressing yourself through fashion? What styles or colors make you feel the most “you”?
Jasmine: I used to care about fashion, but these days I just go for your average girl-next-door look. I wear simple dresses that look nice; I avoid heels as they make me look like a giant. But if I do wear them now, they have to be strappy and plain.
I like bright colors, pastels, or anything pale. When I wear tops and skirts, they must not be too short, just above the knee, and tops should be light material and flowy. Nothing beats my favorite bootcut jeans, slinky top, and strappy heels. I can never go wrong with a classic country glamour look. At the end of the day, feeling comfortable and confident matters more to me than chasing trends.
Monika: What’s your opinion on transgender beauty pageants, do you feel they empower or harm our community?
Jasmine: I do not like them at all. I think they make it worse for those who struggle to pass and make us feel worse about our bodies. There are already too many pressures on trans women to meet unrealistic beauty standards.
Monika: Many transgender women write memoirs to share their stories, have you ever considered writing yours?
Jasmine: I think, why the hell should I do that? I understand if one has really made a difference, but some do it and you look on and think, please girl, on an ego boost are we? My tale is not much different from many. If I do something special one day, I might. Sorry, I am a real modest soul. Maybe if I find a purpose that could help others, I'd be more inclined to write it.
Monika: Are you currently working on anything exciting, either professionally or personally?
Jasmine: Yes, just a career change, and saving for our wedding. Life’s been busy, but it feels good to have something so joyful to plan toward.
Monika: What advice would you offer to young trans girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria?
Jasmine: Don't hide it, see a specialist ASAP. I tried to hide it, and I had a massive breakdown. You need to be true to yourself. The earlier you address it, the more peace you’ll give yourself in the long run.
Monika: Jasmine, thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s been an absolute pleasure talking to you.
All the photos: courtesy of Jasmine Eastall.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
