Interview with Jossy Yendall

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Jossy Yendall, an inspirational performer from Gateshead, UK, and beauty pageant queen. Hello Jossy! 

Jossy: Hello Monika!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Jossy: I’m an aspiring model and actress from the North East of England. I also love to belly dance and sing jazz standards. I love R&B music, vampire mythology, and animal print.

Monika: You hit the headlines this year when the British media covered your participation in Miss Transgender UK. Did you like the contest?

Jossy: All in all, it was a good experience as I do believe that the pageant has opened a few doors for me. What drew me to this pageant was the fact that it wasn’t based on looks, but was more about how, as transgender women, we are able to be positive role models and contribute to society.

Interview with Angelique Munro

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Angelique Munro, an American entertainer, TV Talk Show Host, show director, and transgender - HIV/AIDS advocate, and motivational speaker. Hello Angelique!

Angelique: Hello Monika, Pleasure to meet you!
Monika: You look fantastic, Angelique. What is the secret of your beauty?
Angelique: Awe you're too kind, I really eat healthily and sleep as much as I can. No smoking or drugs and I do not sunbath.
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Angelique: I was born an only child on 5-27-70 in Chicago, IL. I am a survivor of child abuse because my Mom didn't understand what transgender was and used to beat me so bad because I would say "I am a girl".

Interview with Reena Gibson

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Reena Gibson, a British writer and author of her new biographical book titled “The Long Road Ahead” (2015), as well as lead singer and guitarist of the Birmingham rock band Milestone Road. Hello Reena!

Reena: Monika, thank you so much for the interview, I’m overwhelmed that you’ve asked me.

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Reena: How long do you have? Seriously, I could chat for England! I’m just over three years into my second transition as a woman, I first came out when I was 24 which was 21 years ago, and a time which was still very unaccepting for people to come out to society as trans. This time around has still met with some rather difficult challenges, I have a family now which has added strain on all sides, there have been times of self-doubt and indeed there have been a few times where I’ve just wanted to give up on life altogether. But really though, I’d call myself just a “normal” woman, trying to find her way through life like anyone else.

Interview with Brittney Kade

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Brittney Kade, a young video blogger that documents her life transition on YouTube. Hello Brittney!

Brittney: Hello Monika, thank you for having me!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Brittney: Well, my name is Brittney Kade, I am sixteen and transgender. I started my transition when I was fourteen, and have been on hormones for over a year now.

Interview with Katherine Cummings

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Katherine Cummings, an icon of the Australian transgender movement, librarian, sailor, activist for transgender people, award-winning author; she works at Sydney’s Gender Centre – an organization set up in 1983 to help people with gender issues – and is the information worker and edits the Centre’s quarterly magazine Polare.

Hello Katherine!
Katherine: Hello Monika. I am honored (and flattered) by your introduction. You could just have said, as Deirdre McCloskey did in her book, Crossing, that I am a gender saint (please don’t guffaw too loudly).
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Katherine: If there is such a thing I’d say I am a fairly typical transgender. My wish to be female goes back as far as memories go but I only found out that my impossible dream could be a possible dream when I was seventeen, in my first year at university, when Christine Jorgensen was outed. Up to that point I had known about gay people, female impersonators, and intersex (although we didn’t call them intersex in 1952) and knew I was none of those things.

Interview with Katie Bainbridge

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Katie Bainbridge, a Scottish writer, blogger, and the author of the autobiographical book titled “Flowers and Tightropes” (2015). Hello Katie!

Katie: Hi Monika! Thanks for asking me to do this interview.

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Katie: I'm a 47-year-old, transgender woman. I was born in Scotland and I now live in Cornwall. I am a writer, author and I also work part-time as an administrator.

Monika: Why did you decide to write your autobiography?

Katie: Well, I didn't just decide. It sort of evolved. Every Monday, Anja, my friend, and housemate, have a creative evening (her idea originally) and we produce and perform pieces of work for it. Anja started the evenings because she wanted someone to perform to and I wanted to take part so, I started writing pieces about my life. After a year and a half of these evenings, I found I had myself a book.

Interview with Lucia Richardson

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Lucia Richardson, an application architect, a Canadian writer, blogger, the author of the biographical book titled “Lucia: The Life of a Transgender Person” (2015). Hello Lucia!

Lucia: Hi Monika. Thanks for the opportunity. As always, it is nice to have a voice, and thanks for taking the time.
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Lucia: I graduated from the University of Moncton (1999) in New Brunswick, Canada with a BSc. Major Computer Sciences and Minor in Informatics Management. My mother tongue language is French and I have been working as an IT professional for the past 18+ years. I have worked for the Government and for various financial/insurance companies throughout Canada and the US: Sunlife, TIAA CREF, Fintrac, and Farm Credit Canada. 
Also, I have worked as an IT Consultant for OAO Technologies, CGI, and Keanes Canada (now better known under the name: “NTT Data”) and also with Pason Inc. (Oil Industry) and AT&T (Telecom).

Interview with Sandy Stone

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Sandy Stone, an American academic theorist, writer, and founder of the academic discipline of transgender studies. She is currently Associate Professor and Founding Director of the Advanced Communication Technologies Laboratory (ACTLab) and the New Media Initiative in the Department of Radio-TV-Film at the University of Texas at Austin. Hello Sandy!

Sandy: Hi Monika!
Monika: What are you doing these days?
Sandy: Teaching. Writing. Making a recording studio. Making robots. Making art. Doing things with my grandkid. Hanging out with my family. Performing, lecturing. Discoursing with Cynbe. Living life. Having a hell of a good time.

Monika: Your contract with Olivia Records in 1974-78, a collective founded in 1973 to record and market women's music, seems to have changed your life totally. Suddenly you got involved in the lesbian feminist culture…
Sandy: The Olivia Collective identified publicly as a lesbian feminist and internally as lesbian separatist. I had no idea what lesbian separatism was until they told me. They already knew I was trans when they approached me, but I didn’t know they knew, so I told them. They said they had no problem with that, and we got down to business. I didn’t have a contract with them; I joined the collective, became part of it, which involved a long vetting period during which we looked each other over very carefully to be sure we were a good match (I did an album with them as part of that vetting period), and, after mutually agreeing that it was a good idea, I left my home and friends in Santa Cruz and moved in with the collective, which at that point was about seven women and which grew to, I think, thirteen.
Being involved with Olivia was absolutely right for me at the time. We were making music and politics at the same time -- in fact, our music was our politics -- and it was important to me that I should be working for political change in a way that engaged my strengths and skills in the best possible manner. So Olivia felt like a good fit to me, and I to them.

The cover via thranesen.dk

Monika: In 1979, the lesbian feminist scholar Janice Raymond attacked you for using your “male energy” to destroy the Olivia Records collective and womanhood in “The Transsexual Empire: The Making of the She-Male”. Your answer in “The Empire Strikes Back: A Posttranssexual Manifesto” (1983) was historical in that sense that it gave rise to the academic discipline of transgender studies. In retrospect, how do you perceive that conflict?
Sandy: I don’t think my opinion has changed much over the years from what the collective said internally at the time. Publicly we made some reasoned responses. Internally the general reaction was that an ignorant bigot had sent us a hate letter, we should answer politely (because we answered every letter we received), and that would be the end of it.
We didn’t see Raymond’s letter as dangerous, just as somewhat deranged, from a kind of parallel universe that had no resonance with anything in our day-to-day reality. Remember the acronym TERF didn’t exist yet.
What was so strange about Raymond’s ideas was her implicit sense of disempowerment. In Raymond’s universe, women were always victims. In her universe men disrupted women’s groups and appropriated their work while women looked on helplessly. Raymond wrote as if strong women simply didn’t exist. It made no sense to us. Certainly, women could be outshouted or outgunned, but the women I knew were feisty and intelligent, and assertive. They were strong! They stood up for what they thought was right. When necessary, they stood up to men. They drew strength from each other. They loved fiercely. I wanted to be like them. 
Since I was five years old, I had thought of myself as a girl and later as a woman. But even at a young age, the peer group I imagined for myself was not what one might call feminine. I dreamed of climbing cliffs and shooting rapids and stalking wild animals, and in my dreams, my companions in the adventure were other women. At the same time, what the real world offered were the stereotypical feminine role models of the 1950s.
When eventually I met the women I’d dreamed were out there, I realized I’d come home. So when Janice Raymond unveiled her paranoid and extremely disempowering vision of men disrupting women’s affairs, it was little more than risible to women I knew. Of course, we now understand that hatemongers frequently look like buffoons in their early years, before they build their political base.
Monika: At that time did it ever occur to you that you were becoming a transgender icon?
Sandy: I know I’ve been called things that are more or less suggestive of “icon” -- like, for example, “lightning rod” -- but I don’t think of myself in that way.
Monika: The 80s and 90s witnessed your return to academia, you received your doctorate and established the New Media program called UT Austin ACTLab, which contributed to the establishment of New Media Art…
Sandy: And we went on for twenty years pushing the boundaries of a good many disciplines and having the time of our lives. My personal view was that I was put on this earth to use whatever abilities I have as a force for change and that if I have anything at all to teach, it is that it’s the same for everyone. We can be strong, and we can make a difference -- if not in the large, then certainly in our immediate vicinity. That’s what the ACTLab was about.

Monika: In the mid-1990s you fell prey to many attacks as the result of your several highly publicized interviews during which you suggested that the era of academic scholarship was over…

Sandy: It was controversial then, it’s mainstream today. Now we need to craft a workable successor institution going forward, and that is not at all a simple thing.

Monika: What is the contemporary stance of feminism in relation to the transgender phenomenon?

Sandy: I would say there is no such thing as “feminism”. There are many feminisms, and each one has its own stance vis-à-vis transgender. So that question has no simple answer. 

Monika: What should be the main focus of transgender studies these days?

Sandy: Transgender Studies is whatever transgender scholars do. I have no preconceived notion of a direction the field should go. From time to time I see trends emerge, and they are invariably exciting to me, and they shift and change. That just means the discipline is alive and vital. Different scholars will find the focus that empowers them, articulate it, and move on.

Monika: How has the Internet contributed to the success of the transgender cause? 

Sandy: If there is a transgender cause, it’s simply to be able to live our lives in peace. Anything that enhances social communication can be an organizing tool toward that end. That’s true not only for the trans communities but for any community. Online we have discussion groups, resources, things as simple as letting someone who is isolated in a hostile social pocket know there are others out there to talk with. Sometimes just knowing you are not alone can be enough.

Monika: Recently the media have set their spotlight on Caitlyn Jenner. Since her coming out she has been the focus of many articles and attacks. What do you think about her and other transgender stories or characters which have been featured in films, newspapers, or books so far?

Sandy: I’ll take any positive representation I can get. They’re all problematic and they’re all good, just like real life.

Monika: What do you think in general about the present situation of transgender women in American society?

Sandy: Trans women are more readily accepted than ever before, but, as the virulence of TERF hate groups and the suicide and murder rates for trans people, especially trans women of color, show, we have a long, long way to go. 

Monika: At what age did you transition into a woman yourself? Was it a difficult process? 

Sandy: I transitioned in my 30s, and I had the luxury of being able to choose the way I transitioned and the community in which I did so; nevertheless, getting to the point at which that supportive environment was in place required long and excruciating work. By its nature, I don’t think transition can be easy for anyone. When you decide to proceed with transition, metaphorically speaking, they issue you a ticket with everything you need to know and do written out on it. (Expand the variable “they” in any way you choose.)

The joke is that you can never know everything that’s on the ticket. There are always critical things that you didn’t know were there, and suddenly they jump up and bite you. You learn that people you counted on to stay with you through transition, and who promised they would, suddenly abandon you, or worse, betray you in ways that catch you off balance and unprepared; while others whom you were sure would leave without a second glance wind up becoming defenders and companions and friends. The chemical and emotional changes are unpredictable, unpleasant, and occasionally cataclysmic.

On the other hand, the rewards are spectacular. Still, as with puberty, I was profoundly glad when it was over so I could get on with life.

Monika: At that time, did you have any transgender role models that you followed? 

Sandy: No. I knew of Christine Jorgensen, but she was not a role model. She was tall and willowy and blonde, I was short and kinda clumsy and brunette.

Monika: Is there anyone in the US transgender society whose actions could be compared to what Harvey Milk was doing in the 60s and 70s for gay activism? Are there are any transgender ladies that you admire and respect now?

Sandy: There are many. Kate Bornstein. Susan Stryker. Too many others to name. You’ll get a different answer from each trans person you ask.

Monika: The transgender cause is usually manifested together with the other LGBT communities. Being the last letter in this abbreviation, is the transgender community able to promote its own cause within the LGBT group?

Sandy: There is no unitary transgender community, just as there is no one unitary LGBT group. There are organizations that claim to speak for the majority of those communities, and they do good work. Individual trans groups promote their causes in local LGBT communities, and those may be different in different locales.

In general, though, trans issues are still the tail of the distribution and will be dropped first before other interests when it is convenient to do so. Needless to say, this needs work.

Monika: Are you active in politics? Do you participate in any lobbying campaigns? Do you think transgender women can make a difference in politics?

Sandy: Politics is not how I choose to apply myself to furthering trans issues. On the other hand, though, in my ontology, all acts are political acts. When I teach, I’m doing politics. When I make art, the same thing applies.

Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?

Sandy: I happen to love and be loved, and I consider that the greatest gift and blessing I could have. But it was not always so. I am profoundly grateful and try my best to give as good as I receive. Corinthians 13:13.

Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?

Sandy: Sometimes after ten beers or so, but I punch myself in the face a few times and the feeling goes away.

Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria? 

Sandy: Nothing I know would be applicable to all transgender girls or women. The closest I could come might be the last lines of my novel “Ktahmet”:

“And to you who still wait, looking for the opportunity or the courage or the awakening, we say: Whenever you are truly ready, then will we be there; whenever you begin your own Remembering, then will we be at your side.

—And in the time of waiting, we say to you: “Alana, Ktahmet, moy senyo nui hgytah —” Beloved sister, the warriors return, return to thee in love and power!” 

Monika: Sandy, thank you for the interview!

Sandy: You’re welcome!

Main photo: courtesy of Sandy Stone.

© 2015 - Monika Kowalska

 

Some documentaries with Sandy Stone:

Interview with Lady Dane Figueroa Edidi

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Lady Dane Figueroa Edidi, a Nigerian, Cuban Indigenous American actress, singer, dancer, writer, radio host, oracle, healer, and teacher, the first trans woman of color in Washington DC to publish a work of fiction, a member of the leadership team of Trans Women of Color Collective, listed in the 2015 Trans 100, a group of trans people honored for their work on trans issues in the United States and having a positive impact. Hello Dane!

Dane: Hi Monika, How are you? 

Monika: I am fine, thank you. You are a woman of so many talents! Let’s start with one of your blessings, namely, singing. You are dubbed the Ancient Jazz Priestess of Mother Africa … 
Dane: I am, I was given that title a while ago when I was very young, and a powerful medium was reading my aura as I performed. He said, “You are a priestess of Mother Africa”.

Interview with Crista Lynn

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Crista Lynn, a video blogger that documents her transition on YouTube. Hello Crista!

Crista: Hello all!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Crista: Well, I like to think that I’m a pretty normal person, except when I’m going thru one of my crazy spells. When I’m not getting into trouble, I’m usually a quiet, outdoors adventurer, found swimming at the bottom of some waterfall, out in the desert, catching new pet lizards, at home doing some arts and craft project, or sleeping after a hard days work.

Monika: Why did you decide to share your transition details on YouTube?

Crista: Well, because I was bored, and had just finished writing my memoir “When Fantasies Are Fulfilled”, and was looking for a way to promote my work, which is STILL in the never-ending process of being published. What a nightmare! But, I was just looking for a way to bring my story to life and get it out there ahead of being published on paper, and I guess I was also just looking for attention, as usual.

Interview with Elle Bradford

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Elle Bradford, an inspirational young model from the USA, fashionista, and video blogger that documents her transition on YouTube. Hello Elle!

Elle: Hello Monika!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Elle: Well, I am a young trans woman living in New York City pursuing a career in fashion. I live with my boyfriend of seven years and our son (d0g) Isaac. Life is good.
Monika: I am a big fan of your vlog. Why did you decide to share your transition details on YouTube?
Elle: I felt that the time was right. I have been stealth for a few years now and never have I been as compelled to share my story as in this moment in time. There is an incredible amount of support for trans people in the world right now and I thought in sharing my story I could present another “version” of trans to the general public. In order to teach them that we are all different, just like everyone else.

Interview with Pauline Park

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Pauline Park, a human rights activist, transgender advocate, the chair of the New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy (NYAGRA), president of the board of directors as well as former executive director of Queens Pride House, co-founder of Iban/Queer Koreans of New York, named to a list of 'The 2012 Most Influential LGBT Asian Icons' and '50 Transgender Icons' for Transgender Day of Remembrance 2012. Hello Pauline!

Pauline: Hello, Monika!

Monika: Your life is very extraordinary. You are a Korean-American adoptee…
Pauline: Yes, I was born in Korea and adopted by European American parents, and raised in Milwaukee (Wisconsin). You might be surprised by some things we have in common; you're Polish, and I grew up on the south side of Milwaukee, which is predominantly German and Polish Catholic (it was even more so when I was growing up there in the 1960s and 1970s). I grew up eating kielbasa and punchki as well as sauerkraut -- which is like a bland, non-spicy German version of kimchi~!

Interview with Jennell Jaquays

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Jennell Jaquays, an American designer of role-playing games (RPGs) and video games, known for the Dungeons & Dragons modules “Dark Tower” and “Caverns of Thracia” for Judges Guild. Hello Jennell!

Jennell: Hi Monika. Thank you for letting me share a bit about myself and my story. 

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Jennell: Well in a FEW words, I’m an artist and game developer who late in life accepted that she was ALSO transgender. I was born and lived most of my early life in the American Midwest (near the Great Lakes) and had a not too unusual childhood. For the most part, sports didn’t interest me (I became a baseball fan one year that the Detroit baseball team, the Tigers, won the world series), but I was very much into comic books of all sorts, and drawing, and building imaginary worlds with my younger brother. I had (still have) a younger brother and sister. We moved just about every three years and friendship relationships rarely outlasted the moves so my brother ended up being my best friend as well. Until I was in high school, most of our adventures were shared with each other.

Interview with Micheline Montreuil

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Micheline Anne Hélène Montreuil, a Quebec lawyer, teacher, writer, radio host, trade unionist, and politician from Canada. Hello Micheline!

Micheline: Hello Monika; how are you today?

Monika: I am fine, thank you. Could you say a few words about yourself?

Micheline: Well I could say that I am just an ordinary girl, but being also at the same time a little bit special because I am a transgender. Otherwise, on a professional level, I am just a lawyer, a professor of law, management, and ethics at university, a writer, and a lecturer.

Monika: You made yourself known with your struggles for transgender rights in Canada. Could you elaborate on some of your initiatives in this respect? 

Micheline: My first initiatives were about my name. I wished only to add the first name Micheline to my birth certificate to allow me to have a driver’s license under the name of Micheline Montreuil but unfortunately, the Registrar of civil status denied me this right.

Interview with Yuni Carey

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Yuni Carey, an American model of Cuban descent, dancer, and beauty pageant queen. Hello Yuni!

Yuni: Hello Monika!

Monika: Yuni, you look absolutely beautiful! What is the secret of your everlasting beauty?

Yuni: Aww thank you my love that's very sweet of you. Well, I like to stay on top of myself by always taking good care of my diet and eating well-balanced food as also maintaining straightforward nutrition. Few secrets would be hormones, which are very important, as well as dancing to stay in shape... And always on top of all, fashion and the best products for beauty. A trans woman has to always stay on top of things to be stunning.

Interview with Sheala Dawn Reinertson

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Sheala Dawn Reinertson, an advanced patient care technician, happy wife, and mother. Hello Sheala!

Sheala: Hello, it is a pleasure to be with you.

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Sheala: Yes, thank you. I am 33 and came out as transgender at 31. Before then I had spent 8 years in the US NAVY, and am very proud of the time that I spent in the service. I am now making a great advancement in my career and in nursing school.
Monika: Your name hit the headlines in connection with The Name Change Project, which expanded to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, a year ago and connects transgender people with volunteer attorneys. How did the project help you?
Sheala: That was honestly the only way I was able to complete my name change. In Pennsylvania, I had to go in front of a judge, I would have done the papers all wrong, they were also able to minimize the cost to me. Without that, I would not have been able to afford the name change.

Interview with Tela La'Raine Love

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Tela La'Raine Love, an American transgender activist from New Orleans, Louisiana. Hello Tela!

Tela: Greetings Monika!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Tela: Sure, let me start by saying I believe this is a truly awesome thing you are doing for the transgender folk who can identify with the experience. I am honored that you wanted me to take part. With that being said you know my name is Tela La'Raine Love and I self-identify as a trans-experienced woman.

I view myself as a woman with trans-experience and not of the trans-experience because being trans is not the totality of my being but merely a facet of who I am. I am a trailblazer in the sense that I am one of the few trans-woman of color from south New Orleans, Louisiana that has chosen not to fully assimilate into a life of stealth. Why? That choice is simply not an option for me.

Interview with Jackie Enx

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Jackie Enx, an Irish/American radio personality, percussionist, performer, instructor, and a founding member of such rock bands as Warrior (Virgin Records 1982-1984) and Rhino Bucket (Warner Bros and Acetate 1989-1993 and 2006-2009). Hello Jackie!

Jackie: Good evening, Monika.
Monika: It has been over 20 years since you left Rhino Bucket. What are you doing these days? Are you working on any new artist projects now?
Jackie: I’m always working on something new, I’ve always had a “next” mentality and I do work really hard at whatever I’m doing, and then it’s “next”.
Right now I’m playing drums behind SHANE DWIGHT who is a singer/songwriter out of Nashville and I’m producing, arranging, and playing with an Irish band that has relocated to San Francisco called THE GUV’RMENT.

Interview with Mey Rude

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Mey Rude, the Trans Editor at Autostraddle, a writer, blogger, and transgender activist. Hello Mey!

Mey: Hi!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Mey: Well, obviously, my name is Mey. I’m a transgender Latina who lives in Idaho in the US. I’m also a lesbian, and a comic book nerd, and a writer. I work as the Trans Editor for the website Autostraddle.com.

Monika: As Trans Editor at Autostraddle, you follow and comment on all the trends related to the visibility of transgender women in the media. Thanks to the success of “Orange Is the New Black,” “Transparent,” “New Girls on the Block,” and “True Trans With Laura Jane Grace” and other TV productions, we have faced increasing visibility of trans characters. Is it a stable trend?

Mey: I really hope so. I think that all the awards that have been going to “Orange Is the New Black” and “Transparent”, as well as the recent Emmy win for Laverne Cox’s TV documentary “Laverne Cox Presents: The T Word” will encourage more people to take a chance on trans stories and trans characters. And we’ve been starting to see that. There are going to be a bunch of new shows featuring trans characters this year, including several with fictional trans characters played by trans actresses, so I think that’s a very good sign.

Interview with Nicola Jane Chase

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Nicola Jane Chase, a British writer from near Liverpool, who currently lives in New York. A former globe-trotting DJ and radio personality, she is the author of “Tea and Transition” (2015). Hello Nicola! 

Nicola: Hey Monika!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Nicola: That's always hard! But I'd say I am a supremely content New York woman with a transgender history.

Monika: Why did you decide to write your autobiography?

Nicola: In fact, it started out as a journal, a diary, I didn’t set out to write a book. It was relatively early in my transition and I realized that I was having experiences and going through events that had never happened before and may not happen again. Starting hormones, the first therapy session,  and so on.

Interview with Bianca Leigh

Monika: Bianca Leigh is a distinguished American actress, best known for her role in Transamerica (2005), where she played Mary Ellen. A graduate of Rutgers University with a BFA in acting, Bianca has built a strong career in theater, television, and film. Her advocacy for transgender rights and representation in the arts is equally notable. She is actively involved in pushing for greater visibility and acceptance of transgender individuals, both on and off the screen. Hello Bianca! Welcome to my blog!

Bianca: Witam, Monika!

Monika: “She’s got Bette Davis eyes, Joan Crawford facial expressions, Faye Dunaway angst, Norma Shearer hauteur, and Marlene Dietrich cross-sexual appeal.” Who is that woman?

Bianca: A press agent’s dream! LOL That woman is me on-stage, chewing the scenery. The off-stage me is much more sedate. A little boring, even.

Interview with Kayla Ward: Update

Monika: Hello Kayla! It has been 18 months since our first interview. What has changed in your life since then?

Kayla: I moved to Dallas, Texas, and began chasing my dreams of modeling and acting.

Monika: You look absolutely stunning! What is the secret of your beauty?

Kayla: Luck with genetics is about the only answer I can honestly give. I’d like to say it is due to eating healthy, consistent workouts, and always getting enough sleep but that doesn’t happen like it should.

Interview with Nika Fontaine

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Nika Fontaine, an inspirational Canadian artist based in Berlin, Germany, coffin designer, curator of the Kitsch Lexikon and Kitschypedia. Her works consist of glitter paintings, sculptures, video, music, photography, and performance art. Hello Nika!

Nika: Hello Monika! Thank you for the invitation, your blog played a big role in my process of acceptance!

Monika: Thank you! Could you say a few words about yourself?
Nika: I very much like your introduction, maybe I can just make it more precise. I am French Canadian and I have been living in Berlin for almost seven years now. I started the transition process one year and a half ago.

Interview with Emma Martin

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Emma Martin, a British IT consultant, clinical psychotherapist, and transgender activist. Hello Emma!

Emma: Hi Monika. Thank you for inviting me.

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Emma: What can I say? Well, I’ve been married to the love of my life Linda for 37 years, spent most of my working life in IT with various companies ending up as an IT Manager for a major food manufacturer, then got a bit fed up with IT and trained as a psychotherapist and hypnotherapist. Now, retired, I consider myself to be a full-time writer. I’m also teaching myself 3D graphics design. As to hobbies, we have two retired greyhounds that will soon be the stars of a series of children’s stories I’m writing.

Interview with Marisa Allen

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Marisa Allen, a Belgian revue producer, and performer, director, and creator of the award-winning show ballet "The New Sensations". She has been The Designer of the Stars for more than 10 years. Hello Marisa!

Marisa: Hello dear Monika!

Monika: You look fantastic, Marisa. What is the secret of your beauty?

Marisa: I think it is love and happiness… it makes me glow.

Interview with Koko Jones

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Koko Jones, an American activist and a voice in the trans community, jazz percussionist and band leader that played for such artists as Whitney Houston, The Isley Brothers, Winard Harper, and Reggie Workman, the author of her newest album “Who's That Lady”. Hello Koko!

Koko: Hi Monika!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Koko: Well I would say that I’m a musician, writer, composer, producer, educator, Buddhist, a parent, and a trans woman of color.

Interview with Jessica O’Donnell

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Jessica O’Donnell formerly known as Jessica Cummings. She is an American transgender activist, video blogger, former co-host of Transition Radio. Hello Jessica!

Jessica: Hi Monika! Thank you for providing me with this opportunity to be a part of such a positive outlet for our community. I am truly honored to be included in this!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Jessica: Sure! I am a 40-year-old transgender woman who like others has struggled with my gender and identity my entire life. When I started daycare and through 1st grade, I thought I was a girl but learned very quickly that if I wanted to be accepted by others I had to act like a boy.

Interview with Stephanie Postma

Monika: Today’s interview will be with Stephanie Postma, a young Dutch video blogger that documents her transition on YouTube. Hello Stephanie!

Stephanie: Hello Monika!

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Stephanie: I am a 22-year-old female and student of beauty and wellness in the last year.

Monika: Why did you decide to share your transition details on YouTube?

Stephanie: I was young and I thought I might be an inspiration for other young transgender ladies. I was only 14 when I uploaded my first YouTube video.

Monika: At which stage of the transition are you right now?

Stephanie: I’m finished! I would really like a boob job in a couple of years but for the time being it is enough. I am happy with myself and that is the most important issue for me.

Interview with Bright Daffodil

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Bright Daffodil, a British woman born intersex, a participant in many documentaries and interviews. Hello Bright Daffodil!

Bright Daffodil: NAMASTE Monika an absolute pleasure to meet you.

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Bright Daffodil: I believe myself to be a Pleiadian, a star seed here in London, in human terms I’m an intersex person, a transgendered woman, but I’m at a stage in my life where gender to me is nothing more than the others' perception. I don’t see myself as any gender anymore, just as a soul having a human experience.
I think I have transcended gender to be really honest. For my soul, it’s easier to live a female experience however I don’t think I’m female or male in knowing my true self I am merely an organic being.

Interview with Victoria Divine

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Victoria Divine, a film director, producer, and performer from Argentina. Hello Victoria!

Victoria: Hello Monika, how are you doing?

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Victoria: I’d like to say that I am someone in constant urge for transforming myself and not just physically when I say ‘transforming’. I mean growing up, learning, discovering. I started to express my gender identity in Argentina, Buenos Aires during the 1970s.

I have been fascinated with trans women since an early age. At that time perhaps I didn’t know that I was one of them but over the years I realized that those spectacular women I used to see were a part of who I am.

Interview with Meghna Lama

Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Meghna Lama, a Nepalese model, and beauty pageant queen. Hello Meghna!

Meghna: Hello Monika, Namaste!

Monika: Meghna, you look absolutely beautiful! What is the secret of your everlasting beauty?

Meghna: :) Thanks for your compliment. There is no secret about my beauty; we just have to think and feel that we are beautiful with the glow that comes automatically on our faces.

Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?

Meghna: I just feel that when we are born into this world we all have to face many difficulties and problems in every walk of life, regardless of whether are male, female, or LGBTI, so I don’t worry about it, and I always love to face it and at the end success comes close to me.

Interview with Kelly Star

Kelly Star, a transgender model and aspiring adult entertainer from Perth, is known for her striking figure and her role as a transgender icon in Australia. Born Michael Tanham in a loving Christian family, she grew up in Western Australia, where she was a state champion swimmer and a popular altar boy. Despite her success in sports and social circles, Michael felt a profound disconnect with his identity, knowing deep down that he was never meant to be a boy.

 

At the age of 16, driven by a desire to fulfill her dream of becoming a woman, Kelly began secretly taking female hormones, initially stealing them from her boss at a hairdressing salon. Over time, she grew more feminine in appearance, eventually gaining the confidence to seek medical assistance and formally begin her transition.

 

Kelly’s journey to self-acceptance and transformation was not without its challenges. When she came out to her family, she faced shock and initial resistance, but they eventually came around to support her. Inspired by supermodels like Elle MacPherson and Gisele Bündchen, Kelly envisioned herself with a curvaceous, hourglass figure, a look she has meticulously crafted through numerous surgical procedures. She has made headlines for claiming to have the largest breast implants in Australia, a self-confessed "breast obsession" that has led to significant enhancements over the years.

 

Monika: I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to interview the incredible Kelly Star, an Australian model and celebrity. Hello, Kelly! It’s a pleasure to have you here!

Kelly: Hello, Monika! Thank you for having me. A big hello to all the readers of your fantastic blog! I'm excited to chat with you today!

Photoshoot by Wayne Daniels.

Monika: Could you share a little about yourself and your journey?

Kelly: I am strong, passionate, and driven with an aura of kindness. I am also compassionate to all living creatures, living a vegan lifestyle, which I believe keeps me looking young and radiating love all the time. My journey has been one of self-discovery and transformation, and I'm proud to inspire others along the way. Every day, I strive to be the best version of myself and make a positive impact in the world.

Monika: You made headlines in March 2015 when both American and Australian media featured you as the woman who claimed to have the 'Largest Boobs in Australia.' How has this media attention influenced your career?

Kelly: Yes, by exposing myself (in more ways than one), I am hoping to further my career. It is a risk I am taking right now. I feel the time is right for transgender girls to be featured in men's magazines alongside non-transgender girls.

Recently, Australia's largest-selling men's magazine, 'The Picture Magazine,' said they were going to do a three-page spread of me, but as I did not tell them I am transgender, I think they have now discovered this, and this is why I have not been in the magazine. This is very sad, as it would have helped my career very much. But I live in hope that the offer may come again soon. I believe that visibility is important, and I want to pave the way for other transgender women to have similar opportunities in the industry.

Monika: One of your favorite quotes is: 'After flashing my huge fake boobs to Lady Gaga at her Perth concert, she said to me, "They are the best breasts I have ever seen! What cup size are they? I want to feel them; you are a bad kid." How did that memorable encounter with her make you feel?

Kelly: She was so kind to single me out to talk to, as I was the only person she asked a question to. But yes, she did go gaga over my booby flash to her. It was such an incredible moment that I will never forget, and it made me feel validated in my journey. Having someone as iconic as Lady Gaga recognize and appreciate my confidence was truly empowering. Moments like that remind me of the importance of self-expression and embracing who I am.

Monika: How do you feel about your breasts? Some women might shy away from such a large size...

Kelly: Very happy now, thank you. I have had 17 breast augmentations with 7 sets of implants costing $100,000 in total so far! Twelve surgeries have been correction procedures after my first set of custom size implants (over 1000cc) were placed wrongly in Asia. As I still have a minor correction needed on them, I have now decided to get 2000cc again (the largest size silicone implants available in the world). As my surgeon said, the new dimension now available in the 2000cc implant will be perfect to fix the minor complication I still have. I said to him they will look amazing; even more amazing was his reply.

Biggest Implants in Australia.

There are many risks with custom size breast implants, so I understand many people not wanting to go so big. But I have always been an extremist wanting to push boundaries and attitudes, and in doing so, I hope to provide inspiration to others who are like-minded and need encouragement (being extreme takes courage). Or others just waiting to be a little extreme. I believe that embracing one's uniqueness is essential, and I hope my journey can empower others to pursue their desires without fear. 

Monika: At what point in your life did you realize that you wanted to pursue a career as a stage artist and model?

Kelly: I have always wanted to be on stage to perform in many different ways, like modeling, playing music in a band (I play Rockabilly style slap bass), sports, and now topless entertainment for men.

I also have an inspiration to perform in nightclubs, whether doing a featured act as having the biggest implants in Australia or doing shows in gay and straight nightclubs. The stage has always felt like home to me, and each performance allows me to express my true self and connect with my audience. I thrive on the energy of live performances, and it's incredibly rewarding to share my journey and passions with others. 

Monika: Can you share some of the most unforgettable venues and shows where you've had the opportunity to perform or model?

Kelly: I was runner-up in the Miss Mykonos pageant in Greece. Also, I was asked by Vivienne Westwood herself to model for her in London Fashion Week. I was also a top ten finalist in Models One (London's leading modeling agency) modeling competition.

I have also modeled in catwalk shows and have done other modeling jobs in Sydney, Australia. Each experience has shaped my career and allowed me to showcase my unique style and personality, creating lasting memories along the way. I cherish the connections I've made with fellow artists and the audiences that have supported me throughout my journey.

Monika: Have you participated in any transgender beauty pageants? If so, what was your experience like?

Kelly: Recently, I have attended the Miss International Queen Pageant in Thailand, and I am considering entering the Miss Transsexual Australia pageant in 2016. These events have been incredible experiences that celebrate diversity and beauty within the transgender community, allowing us to showcase our unique stories and talents on a larger stage.

Monika: Beauty often brings a sense of girl power and empowerment. How do you harness that power in your daily life?

Kelly: Ha, thank you! Well, I try to use it to my advantage as much as possible. It feels nice to get V.I.P. treatment, and manipulating men is always fun! I believe that confidence and beauty can open doors and create opportunities, so I embrace it fully.

Miss Mykonos Competition.

Monika: How would you describe the current state of transgender women in Australian society?

Kelly: Currently, in Australia, legally, people who are transgender are now considered to have a 'disability.' This designation means that extra care packages for basic medical care can be provided for free, but they are limited to a set amount each year. I feel that labeling us as having a disability is not right, but at least the government is trying to be of assistance.

Also, I am currently feeling a shift, as others in America are also feeling the same towards acceptance and not just tolerance of Transgender people in general. The feelings towards us in Australia are becoming much more positive, but I feel there is much education still needed. Especially towards the families of partners, and potential partners of Transgender people, who may struggle with the fact that their family member or friend is attracted to a girl who was born a boy.

I am currently feeling a shift, as others in America are also experiencing a change toward acceptance, not just tolerance, of transgender people in general. The feelings towards us in Australia are becoming much more positive, but I believe there is still much education needed. This is especially true for the families and potential partners of transgender individuals, who may struggle with the fact that their loved one is attracted to someone who was assigned male at birth.

I have also noticed that potential partners sometimes falsely question themselves or worry that people may perceive them as less masculine or less heterosexual, which is simply not true. Just because you find out that the girl you are attracted to used to be a boy does not diminish your masculinity or heterosexuality. In fact, I think it takes a very strong man to date a transgender woman. This is something I believe will greatly help us; when tolerance shifts to acceptance, potential partners will feel less discouraged about starting a relationship with a transgender person.

Additionally, I have read that partners who encourage their transgender partner not to disclose their transgender status often go on to be the abusers in those relationships. It's crucial to foster open and honest communication for the health and safety of both individuals.

Monika: At what age did you begin your transition to become the woman you are today? Was the journey challenging for you in any way?

Kelly: I started my transition at 16 when I began hormone therapy without anyone else's knowledge, telling my doctor I was 18 when I was actually 16 to get access to hormones. It was not too difficult being so young, as I was often misgendered by the public in my youth. Looking back, I realize how fortunate I was to start early, though navigating everything alone was emotionally intense. Still, every step of the process shaped me into the confident woman I am today.

Miss Mykonos Competition.

Monika: During your transition, did you have any transgender role models who inspired you or helped shape your journey?

Kelly: My main inspiration was Tula Caroline Cossey and an incredibly beautiful Australian transgender woman named Julia Summers, who was a showgirl and famously appeared in Australian Penthouse magazine. Their confidence and success showed me what was possible, even in a world that wasn't always accepting. Seeing their achievements gave me the courage to push forward and embrace my own path.

Monika: Are there any transgender women you admire and look up to today? What is it about them that inspires you?

Kelly: Currently, I greatly admire a transgender model, actor, and performer from the U.S.A. named Cassandra Cass. She is exceptionally beautiful, with the hottest body of any transgender girl I have ever seen. As I also have a desire to be a performer, model, and actress as a transgender person, I greatly admire how driven she is to always better herself in all areas of her life. And because she is so beautiful, talented, honest, and kind-hearted. Seeing her thrive in the entertainment industry gives me hope and motivation to continue pushing forward in my own career. I believe representation like hers helps break barriers and paves the way for others like me.

Monika: What was the most difficult part of coming out, and how did you cope with it?

Kelly: For me, it would've been the fact that many family and friends did not want to associate with me. Their support is greatly needed, so losing those connections was painful. This is something I have difficulty comprehending, how family and friends can be so unkind to someone who simply transitions to be who they truly are.

Being transgender is a beautiful gift, I believe, and for me, I love and accept myself fully and now only want to be around people who feel the same towards me. I think only positive outcomes can happen in thinking like this. Over time, I have built a new family of friends who embrace and support me, which has made all the difference in my journey.

I.T. Models Comp. Card.

Monika: The transgender cause is often grouped within the broader LGBT community. Since transgender people are sometimes seen as the last letter in this abbreviation, do you feel the community is able to effectively promote its own cause within the larger movement?

Kelly: In Australia, it is called LGBTIQ. My doctor told me that as the gay movement is now so big, being grouped together can help in getting laws passed for everyone. I am not opposed to being grouped together, but I think it may not be the best for us in terms of people understanding that one's sex and sexuality are completely different. As there is much misunderstanding in general, making it simpler to understand separately or in smaller groups may be better for us.

That being said, I do appreciate the solidarity within the LGBT community, especially when it comes to fighting discrimination. Still, I believe more focused advocacy for trans-specific issues is crucial for real progress.

Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender stories and characters have been portrayed in films, books, and the media so far? Do you think representation has improved?

Kelly: I feel it is very important for transgender people to be included in as many stories, films, television shows, and books as possible. So far, I think the media’s sometimes negative stories or comments have not been good at all, but I believe they are now becoming much more positive towards us, with stories of transgender children really helping the general public want to understand and fully accept transgender people.

All transgender stories or involvement in various media outlets are helping a lot, in my opinion. I hope to see even more diverse and authentic representations that reflect the full range of transgender experiences. It’s crucial that our stories are told by us, rather than being filtered through the perspectives of cisgender people.

Monika: Are you passionate about fashion? What styles or outfits do you usually go for? Do you have any favorite designers, colors, or trends that inspire you?

Kelly: Yeah, I love fashion and love that many transgender girls are now featured in runway shows and editorials. I like to dress as provocatively as possible, pushing boundaries in what I wear too. Fashion is a way for me to express confidence and individuality, and I enjoy experimenting with bold looks. I believe clothing should make a statement, and I love outfits that turn heads and spark conversations.

New Idea Magazine.

Monika: How important is love in your life, and what role does it play in your personal journey?

Kelly: Love is very important to me, but I know you must love yourself fully before entering a relationship if you want it to succeed. I hope to make someone very happy one day.

I believe love should be built on honesty and mutual respect, especially for someone like me who has walked an unconventional path. Finding the right person who sees and values me for who I truly am would mean everything. Ultimately, love has the power to heal and uplift, and I believe it can create a profound sense of belonging and connection in my life.

Monika: Many transgender women choose to share their journeys through memoirs. Have you ever considered writing a book about your own experiences?

Kelly: I love reading the memoirs of transgender ladies and own many such books. I have had many people tell me I should write my own story, and hopefully, the future holds some of the best potential stories, so yes, I would write a book. I believe my journey, with all its highs and lows, could inspire others who are walking a similar path. Plus, I think it would be fascinating to document not just my personal evolution but also the changing perceptions of transgender women in society.

Monika: Are you working on any new projects now?

Kelly: Currently I am considering working as a topless performer in Men's Strip Clubs and also at parties with other girls in an agency. I am hoping that I may be a featured act as having the Biggest Breast Implants in Australia and also as being marketed as being transgender alongside other girls who are not transgender. Or I may try this without disclosing that I am Transgender as I have done previously.

New Idea Magazine.

I am also planning to enter many wet t-shirt competitions and also Best Breasts in the West, a long-running competition held in my hometown of Perth Western Australia.

I also want to compete in the Miss Silicone Competition and start a similar competition in Australia.

And lastly, I have the desire to do shows in gay nightclubs as a transgender performer, something I have never done. So one way or another I am planning to be on stage and expose my beautiful breasts for all to admire.
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria?

Kelly: My advice would be to not waste any time with your transition, and to complete any surgeries as early as possible. Most importantly surround yourself with people who encourage your success, reaching out to whoever those people are.

Monika: Kelly, thank you for the interview!

Kelly: Thanks so much for your time in interviewing me, and all your effort Monika in making this world more knowledgeable and a much happier place.

All the photos: courtesy of Kelly Star.

© 2015 - Monika Kowalska