Kira Darling Brand is a writer, musician, and YouTube personality whose work offers a candid window into the experiences of a transgender woman navigating life, identity, and resilience in the American South. She is best known as the author of Becoming Her: From Man, To Woman: Part 1 (2016), an autobiographical account that documents her early struggles and triumphs in transition. Written with honesty and vulnerability, the book quickly established her as a voice willing to speak openly about the realities of transgender life at a time when authentic stories were still scarce. At 28 years old, Brand has already built a diverse creative portfolio. Based in Alabama, she has faced the challenges of seeking stability in a workforce that is often hostile toward transgender individuals, yet she continues to pursue her passions in literature, music, and digital media. Her YouTube channel, which has drawn an audience of more than two thousand subscribers, blends political commentary, comedic sketches, practical guides, and reflections on civil rights activism. This mix of humor and advocacy has allowed her to connect with a wide range of viewers, many of whom find in her work a sense of relatability and encouragement. Brand’s personal history adds depth to her public presence.
She first began expressing her identity at the age of five, only to be subjected to repression therapy for 18 months, an experience that forced her to suppress her true self for much of her early life. Years of instability and unhappiness followed, until in her mid-twenties she committed to transitioning fully, determined not to let external pressures derail her again. In speaking openly about these formative experiences, she provides insight into the lasting effects of rejection and the importance of self-acceptance, themes that recur throughout her work. Her commentary often extends beyond her own story to broader issues facing the transgender community. Brand has been outspoken in critiquing the ways transgender people are represented in film and media, highlighting how inaccurate or stereotypical portrayals contribute to misunderstanding.
She has also reflected on tensions within the LGBTQ community, particularly the marginalization of transgender voices in larger conversations about equality. In doing so, she situates her personal narrative within a wider social and political framework. At the same time, Brand embraces individuality and creativity as essential parts of her identity. Known for her eclectic fashion sense, favoring dresses, layered jewelry, and a collection of shoes she proudly admits she can never have enough of, she presents herself unapologetically, both online and in daily life. She has also channeled her artistic energy into music, with projects under the name “Darl!ng,” further expanding the mediums through which she shares her perspective. Beyond career and activism, her story is also one of love and personal fulfillment.
After a decade-long marriage that ended in 2016, she found a new relationship that she describes as transformative, marking the first time she experienced love in its truest sense. For Brand, this chapter represents not just personal happiness, but also the affirmation that authenticity can open the door to deeper connections. As she works on the second volume of Becoming Her and continues her musical endeavors, Kira Darling Brand remains committed to telling stories that reflect the complexity of transgender lives. Her voice is both personal and political, grounded in lived experience yet unafraid to challenge the narratives imposed by others. In her writing, her videos, and her activism, she is part of a growing movement of transgender women reshaping how their stories are told, insisting on being seen not as symbols, but as people.
Monika: Today, it is my pleasure and honor to interview Kira Darling Brand, a writer, YouTube vlogger, and the author of the autobiographical book Becoming Her: From Man, To Woman: Part 1 (2016).
Kira: Hello, Monika! Thank you so much for this opportunity to shed a positive light on an oppressed and highly misunderstood group of people. I was absolutely thrilled to hear from you!
Monika: To begin, how would you introduce yourself to our readers?
Kira: Certainly. I am currently 28 years old and struggling to find a stable career in the largely transphobic workforce of Alabama. I'm working towards establishing my career in writing, which includes books, short stories, and several genres of music. I am also a YouTube personality and video blogger, with a small following of about 2,200 people, who enjoy my comedy, political satire, how-to guides, and civil rights activism.
Monika: What inspired you to write your autobiography?
Kira: When I first started my gender transition, I felt isolated and alone. I had so many questions about so many things, from medications to surgery options. I had a vast pool of questions, and what little support I did happen to find wasn't always very helpful to my specific needs. I decided to start documenting all the information I found so I could possibly help other people along their journey.
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| Available via Amazon. |
Monika: What parts of your journey do you think could be most helpful or inspiring to other transgender women?
Kira: Learning about myself and learning to accept negative reactions from family and friends were the hardest parts of my transition. I had to learn to stop caring if someone wanted to be in my life or not. Being happy with myself and disconnecting from negative people makes a huge impact on being happy with your transition. If friends and family couldn't accept me as I am, then they didn't really love me, and I didn't want or need them in my life. Learning to overcome these issues makes a huge improvement in your mental well-being.
Monika: At what age did you begin your transition, and what challenges did you face in the process?
Kira: I started my transition when I was maybe 5 or 6 years old. But that didn't last long. My parents sent me away to a therapy center for 18 months to undergo repression therapy. It worked for a long time. I spent my life hiding my true self, although much of that time I was mentally unstable and ended up in and out of psychiatric hospitals. I wasn't happy. But when I was about 25 years old, I officially started my transition and decided that nothing and no one would stop me this time.
Monika: In the early stages of your transition, did you have any role models to look up to?
Kira: At that time, I had never heard of the term "transgender." I didn't know it existed. I only knew how I felt about my assigned gender. Later in life, after I started my transition, I learned about Christine Jorgensen. Until she was outed by a magazine, she lived her life without anyone knowing about her former self. That was what I wanted. I wanted to blend in and live my life without the drama so many people must endure to be happy.
Monika: Today, are there any transgender women you particularly admire or respect?
Kira: There are a few people I have met in support groups that appeared to be just like me, wanting to live happy lives without bigots hassling them because they looked transgender. We have lost touch over these recent months, but they were respected nurses and lived unremarkable lives in respectable communities.
Monika: Coming out is often a turning point in a transgender woman’s life. What were the most difficult changes you faced during that period?
Kira: That's a tough one to narrow down. My marriage ended, although it was a rough marriage to begin with. My kids had a hard time at first, but they coped well after a few months. My family was 90% supportive, but a few people I held in high regard would have nothing to do with me, and I removed them from my life completely.
Monika: Beyond family relationships, how did coming out affect your friendships and your sense of community?
Kira: I also lost each and every friend I ever had, including my best friend. But if these people couldn't love me now, their love was conditional, so I didn't want them around anyway. With all that said, I suppose the hardest part was being happy when I looked in the mirror. I had to learn to love myself and what I saw. It's a daily struggle, as most of us know.
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| Exploring a 200-year-old abandoned cemetery. |
Monika: The transgender community is often grouped under the larger LGBTQ umbrella. In your view, does this alliance help transgender people advance their own cause, or does it present challenges?
Kira: I think it's difficult for us to support our cause together as one. A lot of transgender people find hatred from the LGB community. Being trans isn't related to sexual orientation.
Monika: Could you give an example of how this misunderstanding plays out in everyday life?
Kira: I identify as a lesbian, but I've had gay men tell me I'm gay and confused, not knowing I'm not attracted to men at all. And a lot of people feel this way. The LGB community is fighting for sexual orientation rights, and while the T may intersect at times, our mission is completely different.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender people are portrayed in the media, whether in films, books, or news stories?
Kira: I'm not a fan of what I've seen so far. There may be good movies about transgender people, but I've yet to see them. The Dallas Buyers Club (2013) depicted a trans woman as a cross-dresser, whom everyone referred to by male pronouns and a male name. The Danish Girl (2015) depicted a trans woman as someone who appeared incapable of controlling her sexual urges and cheating on her wife the first day out as herself. It's this negative light that reflects poorly on us, and I think it would be so much better.
Monika: Have you ever taken part in lobbying or political campaigns, and do you believe transgender women can make an impact in politics?
Kira: I have yet to lobby, as of yet. I've made my opinion known and called for action through my YouTube channel, and I once ran a transgender charity providing free therapy services, but that fell through due to a lack of significant funding.
Monika: Let’s switch gears a bit, fashion is often a form of self-expression. How would you describe your personal style?
Kira: Funny you should ask! My girlfriend called me a "fashionista" a few weeks ago. I have a long selection of mid-thigh dresses I love to wear, and part of my "signature look" includes an assortment of necklaces and bracelets, five earrings, one of which is a chain and cuff on my left ear, and shoes! You can never have enough shoes! I don't follow current trends in fashion. I find things that fit well, look nice, and I'll wear anything that makes me feel beautiful and comfortable.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants, especially given that some critics argue they reinforce superficial values around youth and appearance?
Kira: I have a problem with any form of a beauty pageant. Women have been oppressed for far too long. I feel as though beauty pageants contribute to making women appear as objects, rather than people. We should all be admired for who we are, not simply what we look like.
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| Open Carry Alabama - The Intro! (YouTube) |
Monika: Love often plays a defining role in shaping our lives. How has it influenced your own journey?
Kira: I was married for 10 years. I left my wife on May 3, 2016. It's a long story, but I never loved her.
Monika: How did your understanding of love change after that experience?
Kira: Several months later, I made a new friend. She was the most amazing person I had ever met. She was also married at the time. We fell in love! I fell in love for the first time. We both got divorced, and life for both of us has never been better. She makes me feel like the most beautiful woman she has ever met. It's truly amazing. So to answer your question, love is a huge part of my life. We do everything together.
Monika: Are you currently working on any new projects?
Kira: I am currently working on my next book, Becoming Her: From Man, To Woman: Part 2. It should be available in May 2017 on Amazon. I'm also working on my next music record. I haven't spent much time on it with such a hectic schedule, but 1 Good Life by Darl!ng should be out mid-2017.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria?
Kira: Do something for yourself. If your hair is taking too long to grow, buy a real, quality wig and work on making it work for you. Don't go cheap on a wig. Practice your makeup techniques. Find colors that work for your skin tone and wear clothes that show your feminine curves. Most importantly: be yourself! Just be happy!
Monika: Kira, thank you so much for sharing your story and your insights with us.
All the photos: courtesy of Kira Darling Brand.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
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