Renee Norlander is a woman who has lived her life on both sides of the gender spectrum and found the courage to put her journey into words. A writer, blogger, and storyteller at heart, she is best known as the author of Life from Both Sides: Deciphering the Transgendered Mind (2015), a biographical exploration that gives readers an honest and heartfelt glimpse into the challenges, discoveries, and triumphs of being transgender. Beyond her literary work, Renee is also a screenwriter and co-owner of Risa Tortuga Productions, balancing creativity with resilience as she continues to build her career in the arts. Her story, however, is not only about words on paper. Having spent years wrestling with feelings of being “wrong” for her identity, Renee finally embraced the woman she had always known herself to be, embarking on her transition in 2015. Alongside her personal transformation, she has navigated divorce, motherhood, and the pursuit of self-acceptance, all while maintaining her signature grace and dignity. Renee’s honesty about these experiences, whether about the pain of broken family relationships or the joy of rediscovering love with a childhood friend, makes her voice relatable to many who are searching for themselves.
Professionally, Renee has worn many hats. While growing her writing and production ventures, she has also worked as an interstate truck driver, using long hours on the road as an unexpected gift of reflection and creative inspiration. Away from the demands of work, she enjoys hobbies that showcase both her playful and artistic sides: gaming, darts, karaoke, and live singing. Fashion-wise, she shifts effortlessly between jeans and T-shirts, vibrant dresses, and stiletto heels, always embracing her tall, confident presence with a bargain-hunter’s flair for style. Her respect for others in the transgender community shines through in her words. To Renee, every trans woman or man who embraces their authentic self is a hero. She admires the courage it takes to live truthfully and believes strongly in the importance of self-acceptance as the foundation of transition. With a deep respect for the growing visibility of transgender stories in media, she has also contributed her own, not only through her memoir but also through her science fiction novel, Demons Creed, which reveals yet another side of her creative imagination.
Today, Renee lives surrounded by love and friendship, with a strong community in Dallas, Texas, and a partner who has embraced her fully, having known her since childhood. She is living proof that life after transition is not just about surviving, but about rediscovering joy, passion, and possibility. It is with great pleasure that I welcome Renee Norlander to this conversation, an author, dreamer, and woman of courage who continues to inspire others with her resilience, creativity, and unwavering authenticity.
Monika: Hello Renee! Welcome to my blog. It is such a pleasure to have you here today.
Renee: Hi, Monika! Thanks so much for having me. I am really looking forward to our conversation. I’ve always believed that sharing stories, whether through books, blogs, or interviews like this, is one of the best ways for us to connect with one another and feel less alone.
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| Available via Amazon. |
Monika: Could you share a bit about your life and the experiences that have shaped who you are today?
Renee: In addition to being a mid-forties trans woman with grace and dignity, I am a published author, screenwriter, and co-owner of Risa Tortuga Productions. I am recently divorced from a 15-year relationship that blessed me with two wonderful and beautiful children. Life has taught me resilience and the importance of embracing every chapter with honesty and courage.
Monika: That is inspiring. Could you tell us more about the journey of realizing your true self and how it has influenced your life?
Renee: I suffered through the vast majority of my life thinking I was wrong for feeling the way I did. I often imagined changing my gender to live as the woman I always felt I was meant to be. Accepting this truth has been a profound and transformative experience, and it continues to shape my understanding of identity and self-love. Each day brings new lessons in authenticity and self-compassion.
Monika: How do you balance your personal life, career, and hobbies while navigating such a significant journey?
Renee: With my writing and production company still in its infancy, I am currently employed as an interstate truck driver. Being on the road for up to 11 hours at a time gives me many opportunities to reflect on myself and how I choose to live my life. I have a wonderful group of friends in the Dallas, Texas area and an amazing girlfriend in Albuquerque, New Mexico. She has known me since grade school and accepts both the male and female sides of me with class and the love I once thought I would never feel again. My hobbies tend toward the infantile pleasures of video games and darts, and I am also an avid singer who enjoys frequenting karaoke bars and will not shy away from grabbing the mic in front of a live band. Music and play have become essential parts of my self-expression and joy.
Monika: What inspired you to write your autobiography, and what message did you hope to share with readers?
Renee: Growing up, I felt that I was alone in my self-expression. I often believed I was the only one in the world with this “problem.” The experiences in the book were meant to let others in the trans community know that we are never alone. The content was also intended to show that their own experiences are not strange or perverted. We all discover ourselves and transition in unique ways. Writing the book allowed me to process my own journey while offering support to others facing similar challenges.
Monika: From your personal journey, what lessons or insights do you think could be most helpful for other trans women?
Renee: Finding myself and accepting who I really am has been a fantastic journey. I have learned over the years that the main component of transitioning is acceptance of self. Once I accepted myself as a woman, I projected that self-esteem to the world. I gained much more respect and admiration from my peers and friends as a result. Embracing who I truly am has also made me more compassionate toward others who are struggling with their own identity.
Monika: Could you describe when you began your transition and how the process has affected you both physically and emotionally?
Renee: I have only recently made the transition. I began my journey in October of 2015 with a visit to my endocrinologist. During the last two years, I have not only begun to see physical changes but mental and emotional ones as well. The experience has been both challenging and incredibly rewarding, helping me grow in confidence and self-awareness.
Monika: During your transition, were there any transgender role models you looked up to or followed for guidance?
Renee: In this modern age of social media, it is easy to follow and admire a great number of individuals within the transgender community. I have followed the journeys of several young women as they went through various aspects and stages of transition. Observing their courage and creativity has inspired me to embrace my own path with patience and optimism.
Monika: Are there any transgender women today whom you particularly admire and respect for their courage or achievements?
Renee: Any woman who has the courage to stand up and proclaim their true identity is a hero in my book. My most sincere and truest respect goes out to these ladies and gentlemen who have thrown off the shackles of gender conformity. Their strength reminds me that living authentically is one of the most powerful forms of self-expression.
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| Halloween 2013. |
Monika: Looking back, what would you say was the most difficult part of coming out as transgender?
Renee: Family relationships. My relationship with my parents became damaged beyond repair early in my life. It was the typical reaction and aftermath we have all seen. My marriage ended late in 2014 due to my desire to transition as well. Both instances were directly related to my desire to be feminine and eventually transition. These experiences taught me the importance of self-acceptance and the value of surrounding myself with supportive people.
Monika: Transgender issues are often grouped with the broader LGBT community. Do you feel the transgender cause receives enough attention within that larger framework?
Renee: Our attachment to the LGB community has been beneficial in giving us traction. Without this community, we may have never been heard. From what I have experienced, our cause within the community has not been of major importance. Trans rights are not historically aligned with gay and lesbian rights. However, we can rely on established activists within the community to help us get our voices heard. It is crucial that we continue to assert our visibility and advocate for our own needs.
Monika: How do you feel about the way transgender characters and stories are represented in the media, from films to television series and books?
Renee: I recently binge-watched the entire series of Transparent on Netflix. I found the series to feature good character development without being overly focused on transgender issues. It explores other family dynamics besides the transition, which makes the storytelling more relatable. The overall perception of the transgender community has risen greatly in the last several years. This, to me, seems to offer more respect and dignity to those in our community, and it encourages others to understand our experiences with greater empathy.
Monika: Are you personally involved in any political or advocacy efforts, and do you think transgender women can make a real impact in politics?
Renee: I make it a staunch policy to never talk politics on any subject. However, I do believe that there are those within our community who can make a difference in the political realm. Representation matters, and seeing trans voices in decision-making positions can inspire real change and visibility.
Monika: Do you have a particular interest in fashion, and how would you describe your personal style or favorite outfits?
Renee: This is one area in which I am completely lost. I am just as comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt as I am in a glamorous cocktail dress. I have also been blessed with a fantastic figure, or so I have been told many times. I can usually be found wearing short mini-skirts during the warm months. I am also 5’10” tall, so a fancy pair of stiletto heels pushes me several inches past the six-foot mark. My trademark colors ran to black for many years, a trend I have successfully broken.
I now look for bright colors when shopping for new clothes. I am also a certified bargain hunter and can spend hours perusing the resale racks at my local thrift stores. It usually does not matter if the brand is Versace or K-mart. Fashion has become a playful way for me to experiment with my confidence and express my personality.
Monika: How do you view transgender beauty pageants, especially considering some activists criticize them for promoting an obsession with youth and physical appearance?
Renee: There will always be critics of any kind of beauty pageant, no matter who the participants are. While I can agree to some extent that contestants in these events may project an unrealistic body image, it is important to remember their competitive nature. Do we accuse professional athletes, such as football players, of promoting unrealistic goals for young boys? Beauty contests, like sports, are about striving for excellence in a specific field, and participants should be admired for their dedication.
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| Trying to flirt with the camera. |
Monika: Do you think the impact of these pageants is different for those of us who transition later in life?
Renee: With regard to transgender pageants, the same could be said. How can any individual expect to develop a body similar to these women? Those of us who transitioned later in life, myself included, could never hope to have such a traditionally feminine figure. However, in support of these pageants, the contestants offer a glimpse of how glamorous we could all be. They also provide inspiration and a sense of possibility for everyone in the community, showing that beauty and confidence are not limited to one age or stage of transition.
Monika: How has love played a role in your life, especially during and after your transition?
Renee: It is funny that you ask me that at this point in my life. I have recently reconnected with a school friend. She is a genetic woman whom I have known for 35 years. After one year of reconnecting, we are the best of friends and madly in love. I have just recently moved in with her and could not be any happier. So, in answer to your question, love is possibly the single most important aspect of my life. This relationship has reminded me that true connection and acceptance can come at any stage in life.
Monika: Are you currently working on any creative projects or new ventures that excite you?
Renee: I am! I am currently working on a follow-up to Life from Both Sides that will chronicle the influences in my life. From an early age to this moment, I have tried to decipher the influential people in my life. I have also just completed my first science fiction novel. Demons Creed is now available on Amazon. I have always been a sci-fi kind of girl, so it made sense that I would eventually write a fantasy book myself. These projects are allowing me to explore new forms of storytelling while reflecting on my personal journey.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender girls who are struggling with gender dysphoria?
Renee: I would have to say never lose hope. Never give up on yourselves. There is beauty and grace in all of you. You are amazing and proud women who deserve respect and dignity. Always remember that your journey is unique, and embracing your authentic self is the greatest act of courage you can take.
Monika: Renee, thank you so much for sharing your story and insights with us today.
All the photos: courtesy of Renee Norlander.
© 2017 - Monika Kowalska
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