Monika: Today, we are lucky to sit down with Jenna Arriving1, a courageous and inspiring video blogger who documents her transition on YouTube. Jenna’s journey is not only a personal one but also serves as an encouragement to many others facing similar challenges. She shares her experiences with honesty and openness, offering a glimpse into the real-life hurdles and triumphs of transitioning. In this interview, we’ll learn more about Jenna’s path to living authentically, her motivations for sharing her story, and her thoughts on being a transgender woman in today’s world. Jenna, thank you so much for joining me today!
Monika: Could you share a bit about your journey and what brought you to where you are today?
Jenna: Sure! I’m 38, single, and currently living in London, UK. I transitioned medically in October 2011 and have been living full-time as a woman for one year. I first started transitioning at age 16 and continued for two years, but I detransitioned for health and personal reasons. I began transitioning again at age 36. I feel like I've come full circle, and I'm finally in the right place in my life.
Monika: What inspired you to document and share your transition journey on YouTube, and what do you hope others take away from your story?
Jenna: YouTube has been incredibly inspiring for me. It helped me realize that real, everyday trans women could transition successfully and live fulfilling lives. I also discovered that I wasn't alone, there are so many other trans women out there, which was really empowering. I wanted to share my journey so others could feel supported, too. My aim was to create a realistic blog that addresses the everyday challenges we face as transgender women while also preserving a personal record of my transition. It’s been a rewarding experience, and I’ve received some heartwarming messages from viewers who relate to my story.
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| Happy to find a dress that suits her. |
Monika: Can you share where you are in your transition journey right now, and what milestones you've reached so far?
Jenna: I am now 2 years on HRT and 1 year after my facial feminization. I’m hoping for my SRS sometime during the first half of next year. It’s been a long journey, but I’m feeling more myself every day.
Monika: How do you feel about the results of your hormone therapy so far? Are there aspects you’re particularly happy with or areas where you wish you had more progress?
Jenna: Yes and no. I would like bigger breasts and more hip and bottom fat, just like most TS women do. However, I occasionally look at my old pictures pre-HRT and I am amazed at what has happened to me. It's like trying to watch a child grow up. You won’t see the child grow if you just stand and stare at it. However, if you look at the child after a year, you’ll notice how much they’ve changed. The transformation is slow but meaningful.
Monika: Could you share a bit about your childhood? When did you first realize that you didn’t quite fit the expectations of being a boy, and how did that feeling evolve as you grew?
Jenna: As soon as I became socially aware of the differences between men and women, and I started to make friends at nursery. It was then I realized that I wasn’t like my girlfriends, but I really wished I was. I wished I was a girl like them. I have a twin brother and couldn’t understand why I didn’t want to be more like him. I think I was about 4 years old. That’s when I started feeling the disconnect, even though I didn’t have the words for it yet.
Monika: For many transgender women, school, college, or university can be some of the most challenging times due to discrimination and social pressures. Did you experience something similar during your school years, or was your experience different?
Jenna: I was lost and lonely at school. I envied my friends and wanted to date boys just like they were doing. I couldn’t identify with my peers and often was very shy and withdrawn. I hated secondary school. Infant and junior schools were great, though. I wasn’t bullied that much at school mainly because I kept such a low profile. I was a good-looking boy, and I always got the attention of girls even if I didn’t want it. That helped keep the bullies at bay as I was seen as a bit of a chick magnet, even if I didn’t like it. I played along with it. My twin brother was the same, but he enjoyed the attention. I was the quiet one. It was a survival tactic, and looking back, I realize how much I had to suppress myself.
Monika: Are there any transgender individuals who have served as role models or inspirations to you, either personally or professionally?
Jenna: I used to follow Caroline Cossey many years ago. One of my biggest inspirations online is Fiorwestcoast on YouTube. She’s real, relatable, and has been a huge influence on how I view my own journey.
Monika: What would you say was the most challenging aspect of your coming out process?
Jenna: So many things were difficult, but the hardest thing of all was coming out to my long-time partner of 11 years. He was devastated and angry. He blamed me for ruining his life and stated I was incredibly selfish. I felt so guilty. It has taken a long time for him to fully come to terms with my transition. We remain friends. It was heartbreaking, but I knew I had to be true to myself, even if it meant losing him in the process.
Monika: How do you perceive the current situation for transgender women in American society? What progress or challenges do you see?
Jenna: I will relate this to British society. The LGBT community has a clearer voice than ever. Groundbreaking steps are being made, which enable gay couples to marry in churches and live normal and free lives. Despite that, transgender issues remain largely under the radar. People are just not that comfortable with trans issues. A lot of the time, media coverage is sensationalist or negative. Pictures portray trans people as either tragic or sleazy. Things have moved on legally, but there’s so much more work to be done until trans people get the acknowledgment they deserve. We’re not there yet, but progress is happening.
Monika: We’re seeing more transgender women coming out and gaining recognition in various fields, whether it’s Lana Wachowski in film, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, or Candis Cayne in acting. Do you think this trend will continue, and do you foresee even more transgender women stepping into the spotlight?
Jenna: Yes, we may over time. I personally have only heard of a couple of the people above. Although they have celebrity status, they are not fully mainstream. I struggle to think of any real A-listers that are openly trans. However, each new story helps break down barriers, and in time, more of us will be accepted in the mainstream.
Monika: Are you involved in politics or any lobbying efforts for transgender rights? Do you believe transgender women have the potential to make a significant impact in politics?
Jenna: No, I’m not really involved in politics. But I do think transgender women can make a huge difference in politics. There’s a lot of power in our stories, and the more visibility we have, the more change we can make.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Are there any particular types of outfits, colors, or trends that you gravitate toward?
Jenna: I like fashion and do follow it. However, I’m not a fashion victim, lol. I often have an idea of what will suit me, but when I put it on, it looks hideous. It can be difficult to find clothes that properly fit due to my essentially male skeleton. I try to dress femininely and wear dresses, etc., but they can look odd on me as I have broad shoulders and a broad back. I research what designs would suit my body shape best and use these ideas to help me choose outfits when I go shopping. I love bold colors but always try to keep it classy. Finding my style has been a journey, and I’m still figuring it out!
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| Hats suit her now since having her FFS. |
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think they provide a valuable platform for visibility, or do they present challenges for the community?
Jenna: They are OK. It’s good to see trans women being proud of their looks and physical attributes. I think it is good for the public to see this too. A lot of my friends and family tend to perceive transgender women as men in frocks. We are not, we can be truly stunning as well. In some cases, more stunning than a lot of genetic girls. But, of course, beauty is subjective, and pageants are just one way to celebrate who we are.
Monika: Are you actively involved in your local LGBT community? How do you contribute to supporting or empowering others within it?
Jenna: No, I’m not currently active in my local LGBT community. I’m more focused on my personal journey and building my own life, but I do try to support others in small ways when I can. Everyone’s journey is unique, and sometimes just being there for someone can make a big difference.
Monika: Do you see yourself getting married and starting a family in the future? How would you describe the role of love and relationships in your life?
Jenna: I want to get married very much. I don’t think I will ever have my own family, but it would be nice to marry into a family and meet a man who already has kids. Love is the most important thing in my life. It’s what makes life worthwhile. Having been without it for a couple of years has been extremely tough for me because it is so important. Sometimes I just miss a cuddle or a kiss. I miss sharing the stories of my day, holding a man’s hand, spoiling him, and having a companion. I am not driven by career, money, or status. I just want a man to love, and for a man to love me. For me, love truly is the foundation of everything that brings happiness and meaning into my life.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are hesitant about transitioning early due to fears of discrimination and societal rejection?
Jenna: Just look in the mirror. You have to listen to your heart on this one. Listening to what your head tells you will make you accept that society is a cruel, hard place and that life will be too difficult. Listening to your head may tell you that other people will think badly of you, and your family could be ashamed of you... because that might be true. Listen to your heart, hear yourself, truly listen to what you want. Your heart, your mind, your body. Nobody else’s, yours. You will have the answer. And even if the journey is tough, the freedom and peace you'll find within yourself will be worth it.
Monika: What are your immediate goals and plans for the future? Where do you see yourself in the next 5 to 7 years, both personally and professionally?
Jenna: Wow, big question. The next step for me is to just continue to build a successful life for myself as a woman. In the next 5-7 years, I want to have completed my medical transition—SRS done, boob job done, and all of my laser and electrolysis complete. I actually believe that to be a real possibility within the next 12 months. Most of all, I just want to meet someone and fall in love. Buy or rent a place together and build a life again. After that... all I could wish for is to be healthy and happy. I want to live each day authentically and embrace the journey ahead with gratitude and optimism.
Monika: Would you describe yourself as a happy woman now, looking back on your journey and where you are today?
Jenna: Yes, I am. Life is still tough, and I still feel lonely at times, but the main difference is that I am being myself and being true to who I am. That is something I could never let go of again. I've learned that happiness comes from within, and I’m grateful for the peace I now feel in my own skin.
Monika: Jenna, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are hesitant about transitioning early due to fears of discrimination and societal rejection?
Jenna: Just look in the mirror. You have to listen to your heart on this one. Listening to what your head tells you will make you accept that society is a cruel, hard place and that life will be too difficult. Listening to your head may tell you that other people will think badly of you, and your family could be ashamed of you... because that might be true. Listen to your heart, hear yourself, truly listen to what you want. Your heart, your mind, your body. Nobody else’s, yours. You will have the answer. And even if the journey is tough, the freedom and peace you'll find within yourself will be worth it.
Monika: What are your immediate goals and plans for the future? Where do you see yourself in the next 5 to 7 years, both personally and professionally?
Jenna: Wow, big question. The next step for me is to just continue to build a successful life for myself as a woman. In the next 5-7 years, I want to have completed my medical transition—SRS done, boob job done, and all of my laser and electrolysis complete. I actually believe that to be a real possibility within the next 12 months. Most of all, I just want to meet someone and fall in love. Buy or rent a place together and build a life again. After that... all I could wish for is to be healthy and happy. I want to live each day authentically and embrace the journey ahead with gratitude and optimism.
Monika: Would you describe yourself as a happy woman now, looking back on your journey and where you are today?
Jenna: Yes, I am. Life is still tough, and I still feel lonely at times, but the main difference is that I am being myself and being true to who I am. That is something I could never let go of again. I've learned that happiness comes from within, and I’m grateful for the peace I now feel in my own skin.
Monika: Jenna, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
