Monika: Today, I have the pleasure of interviewing a remarkable woman who has been sharing her journey with the world—True Scarlet. As an American video blogger from Florida, she has been documenting her transition on YouTube, offering insight, encouragement, and a personal perspective on what it means to live authentically. Through her videos, she not only shares her experiences but also provides hope to those who may be at the beginning of their own journeys. True Scarlet, welcome to Heroines of My Life!
True Scarlet: Hello Monika, I’m glad to be here.
Monika: Could you introduce yourself and share a little about your background?
True Scarlet: Well, my name is Arrietta. I am 30 years old, born and raised in Florida, USA. I have worked as a Facility Maintenance supervisor in a drug and alcohol treatment center for the past six years. I enjoy running, hiking, and spending time with my friends. I can be over-focused from time to time and often spend hours lost in whatever I happen to get into at the time; usually games or reading.
Monika: What inspired you to document your transition on YouTube? Was there a particular moment that made you decide to start sharing your journey?
True Scarlet: When I first started trying to understand what being Transgender was, I was still afraid of what people would think. I spent most of my time online reading case studies and trying to understand the Psychological and Biological components of whom I am.
One day while I was looking around I happened upon some YouTube posts from others like myself going through this process. I felt the relief of not being alone and answered so many of my questions. I spent the better part of a year watching videos from dozens of T-girls and T-boys who had gone through so many challenges and came out so much stronger in the end. These stories gave me the confidence to start my own journey.
Once I was well on my way I felt a need to give back. One day I finished setting up my own account and started sharing my story. My hope is that doing so will help someone just as it helped me. Currently, I only have a couple videos, but hope to have many more soon.
Monika: Where are you currently in your transition, and what milestones have been the most meaningful for you?
True Scarlet: It’s been a long road, but currently I have completed one year of counseling and fourteen months of hormones. Roughly a year ago I went full time in all aspects of my life. I still remember boxing up all my old clothing; I couldn’t stop smiling the entire time. Just this year I completed my legal name change and gender marker change. Currently, only my birth certificate still has me listed as a male, but that will be corrected soon.
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| Christmas party 2012. The first time my coworkers saw me in a dress. |
Monika: How do you feel about the changes brought by hormone therapy? Have they met your expectations?
True Scarlet: For the most part I am, I think we all tend to believe that we will see the changes that we have longed for so badly, but hormones can only change so much.
As for my results, I did see a significant reduction in areas of masculine body hair. My skin has also become much softer making my features appear much more feminine. Some fat relocation gave me the appearance of hips and I lost a bit of muscle in my arms. Watching my diet has been somewhat more important lately as well; it is a bit harder to lose weight now.
Monika: Looking back on your childhood, when did you first realize that the gender assigned to you at birth didn’t align with who you truly are?
True Scarlet: I was fortunate to have a good childhood. My parents were always good to my brothers and I; they tended to spoil us a bit. Sadly I always felt different from my brothers. When we were little, boys knew how to be boys and girls knew how to be girls. There is a natural instinct or genetic manual we are born with that tells us what to do. For me, it was as though my instincts were broken.
By the time I was six I knew that I was different, even if I wasn’t sure why. My brothers would want to go ride four-wheelers or go take something apart. Me on the other hand I enjoyed spending time with my cousins and playing house. While nobody seemed to really care that I did so, I did feel like I didn't belong. I desperately sought the approval of my siblings and anytime they would question my activities I felt like I was an outcast. Often this led to my playing alone.
I believed that if I didn't do stuff with the girls then I wouldn’t look different, and if I didn't play with the boys then I wouldn’t have to do things I didn't like to do. It was very lonely and I felt lost for most of my youth. After a while, I learned how to watch other boys and see how I should act. I had to live a lie, but at least I felt accepted.
Monika: Many transgender women describe their school years as particularly challenging. What was your experience like during that time?
True Scarlet: My years in school were not exactly traumatic, mostly I was lonely. By the time I was in middle school I had learned to play the part of a boy well enough to be left alone. I had some friends, but never many that I would hang out with after school. By this time I had taken up cross-dressing to fill urges that I had. I had become so afraid of people finding out that I was afraid to have people over. High school and college were the same, I just kept to myself. I learned to put out a persona of a confident male, but inside I was paranoid and afraid.
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| Last photo before I started my transition. |
Monika: Are there any transgender individuals, past or present, who have inspired you or helped guide your journey?
True Scarlet: I do follow an individual on YouTube, her screen name is nameissammi and her transition really inspired me. She is very confident and knowledgeable. Her trials during her transition showed me that you can beat anything as long as you want it bad enough. She actually just got her SRS just a few weeks ago. I have to admit I am a bit jealous. Seeing her reach that milestone gives me hope that one day I’ll get there too. Her journey reminds me that patience and persistence are key, even when the road feels long.
Monika: Coming out can be one of the most difficult parts of transitioning. What was the hardest part for you, and how did your loved ones react?
True Scarlet: The hardest thing I had to deal with was telling my family. I knew that my brothers would be accepting, but having to tell my mother and father was hard. The last thing I want is for my family to be ashamed of me.
When I finally made the decision to tell them I told everyone within the same week. I figured it would be easier to deal with everyone all at once than one at a time. They asked a lot of questions and we had some points of blaming and crying, but overall it went well. It took several months for things to calm down enough to where I felt that my family was OK with my decision.
Monika: How do you feel about the current state of transgender rights and visibility in American society? Do you think real progress is being made?
True Scarlet: The situation for transgender individuals seems to improve a little bit each year. Sadly there is still a lot of hate and misunderstanding when it comes to transgender individuals. Things are getting better and will keep getting better, but I know it will be a long fight for us to get the acceptance we long for. However, with more visibility in media and representation in leadership roles, we’re beginning to change the narrative. I believe younger generations are more open-minded, and that gives me hope for the future. We need to keep pushing forward, making sure our voices are heard, and advocating for the rights we deserve. Every victory, big or small, helps pave the way for those who come after us.
Monika: We’ve seen a growing number of high-profile transgender women in various fields, from Lana Wachowski in filmmaking to Laura Jane Grace in music. Do you think mainstream visibility is improving, and how important is that for the community?
True Scarlet: Absolutely, I truly believe we will see a rise in transgendered people as acceptance for us improves. Even more so, I believe we will see a significant rise in younger transgendered people. Sadly people are still afraid of rejection by their friends and family. Even more so they fear that people may try to hurt us just because we are different.
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| My very best friend and I on a road trip! |
Monika: Do you engage with politics or activism in any way? In your opinion, how can transgender women create change in the political landscape?
True Scarlet: Sadly no, politics was never my forte. I do believe that transgendered women can make a difference just as with anyone else. We have the right to vote, all the information we need is available for us to make educated decisions. We just have to participate.
Monika: How would you describe your personal style? Do you follow any specific fashion trends, or do you have go-to outfits that make you feel confident?
True Scarlet: I personally think I’m fashion-challenged, but my friends like my taste in clothes. I love skirts and blouses, but tight jeans and boots are always fun too. I never really care about the brand, I just like anything that gives me a figure. The only exception I have made is when it comes to my purse, I love my Coach bag.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think they help break stereotypes and promote visibility?
True Scarlet: I love them, let people see us. Trans-women can be beautiful and I am all for showing it off. These pageants give us a platform to celebrate our femininity and confidence while challenging outdated perceptions of beauty. They also provide role models for younger transgender individuals who may be struggling with self-acceptance. Beyond just looks, these events highlight our resilience, talent, and strength, proving that we are more than just our transitions. Seeing a confident trans woman owning the stage can be incredibly empowering for our entire community.
Monika: Are you actively involved in your local LGBTQ+ community? If so, in what ways do you contribute or participate?
True Scarlet: I try to help where I can, I help with a Human sexuality class at a local college. The class is not always large, but it’s good to be able to answer their questions and help people to understand what being Trans is. I also participate in our local LGBT activities when I am aware of them, This year my friends and I held a Trans-pride day. It was a lot of fun and we had a good turnout.
Monika: Do you see marriage and starting a family in your future? What role does love play in your life right now?
True Scarlet: I would like to meet the right guy and get married someday. I want to have a family and adopt a child. I always wanted a little girl, but it’s a waiting game. I think it's everyone’s wish to meet someone that you truly love, and mutually loves you in return. Hopefully, after I get my SRS it will be more of a possibility than it is now.
Monika: Many transgender women hesitate to transition due to fear of discrimination or rejection. What advice would you give to those who are struggling with this fear??
True Scarlet: When I was twelve I tried coming out to my family and when they got upset I was afraid and bottled it all up again. I know now that had I stuck to it then, that I would have been fully transitioned by the time I was eighteen; sadly I let fear govern me. The longer you wait the harder it can be. There will always be people that don’t understand, but you will be surprised at how many people will accept you. I think David Farragut said it best "Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!"
Monika: What’s next for you? Where do you see yourself in the next five to seven years?
True Scarlet: Currently I have contacted a doctor's office in Thailand and I have been saving to hopefully get my SRS within a year or two. Once I get my surgery I will be going back to school to get a degree in nursing. My goal is to move once I get my degree and start a new life for myself. Maybe meet someone and start that family I always wanted.
Monika: After everything you’ve been through, would you say you are truly happy now?
True Scarlet: I can say without a doubt that this is the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. And I know it’s only going to get better every day. I've learned to embrace who I truly am, and that sense of authenticity brings me peace. Even on tough days, knowing that I'm living my truth makes everything worth it.
Monika: True Scarlet, it was truly inspiring to hear your story, the courage it takes to live authentically, the challenges you’ve overcome, and the dreams you’re chasing. Your openness and willingness to share your journey will undoubtedly give hope to so many others who are just beginning to find their own paths. I have no doubt that with your strength and determination, you’ll achieve everything you set your heart on, whether it’s completing your transition, building a career in nursing, or finding the love and family you dream of. Thank you for being such a beacon of hope for the community and for sharing this moment with me.
All the photos: courtesy of True Scarlet.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
