Maria Haaning is a young transgender woman from Denmark, recognized as the youngest Danish person to undergo gender confirmation surgery. Born as a boy, Maria faced a challenging journey filled with physical and emotional pain, including suicide attempts and significant financial costs exceeding 100,000 kroner. However, her unwavering determination and belief that transitioning was the right choice ultimately led her to embrace her true identity as a woman.
At just 18 years old, Maria made the life-changing decision to undergo gender reassignment surgery, fulfilling her lifelong dream of living in the body she felt she was meant to inhabit. Her transition was fraught with difficulties, as she faced bullying, rejection from peers, and isolation from her family and society. In her autobiography, "Ham og Mig" (Him and I), Maria shares her painful yet inspiring story of being marginalized and misunderstood while striving to be true to herself.
Maria's book not only recounts her personal experiences but also serves as a valuable resource for understanding the struggles faced by transgender individuals. Through candid reflections, she discusses the impact of bullying, the internal battles she fought, and her journey toward self-acceptance. With her story, Maria aims to educate others about transgender issues and promote empathy and understanding.
Today, Maria is a public speaker, sharing her journey and advocating for transgender rights across Denmark. She has participated in various media appearances and has been featured in national magazines. Her experiences have positioned her as a role model for young transgender individuals, inspiring them to embrace their identities and pursue their dreams. As she continues her education in pharmacy, Maria is committed to living authentically and finding fulfillment in her personal and professional life.
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| Pointing at her book in a book store. |
Maria: Hi Monika! Thank you for having me! A big hello to your blog readers as well!
Monika: Can you share a bit about your career journey so far and what you've accomplished?
Maria: Well, I am still very young so my career is still in progress, but so far I have done numerous TV appearances on Danish television. I am giving lectures across the country about my personal transition story, and I have published my own autobiography titled 'Ham og Mig', which in English translates into 'Him and I'.
The book tells the story of how I became the youngest Danish person to ever go through a complete MTF transition. I’m excited about the opportunities ahead, as I aim to inspire others with my journey and contribute to the visibility of transgender issues in society. Each experience I gain fuels my passion for advocacy and sharing my story with a wider audience.
Monika: What motivated you to write your autobiography, “Ham og Mig,” and how do you hope it will impact others?
Maria: The inspiration to write a book came very early. In the middle of my transition, it struck me that I would have liked for someone to have done it so young in Denmark before me so that I could get some guidance towards achieving my goal. So when I was done with my transition, I started working on that because I didn't want anyone to go through what I went through myself with no advice or guidance from people in the same country. That is also why I shared my story and myself on national television.
I have been featured in almost all Danish magazines, the most recent one is actually an article in Femina where they name the 100 most inspiring and impressive women, and I am proud to say I am one of them. I hope that my book can serve as a beacon of hope and guidance for young transgender individuals, showing them that they are not alone in their journey. Ultimately, my goal is to foster understanding and acceptance within society for the experiences of transgender people.
Monika: As the youngest transgender girl in Denmark to undergo SRS, you’ve become an ambassador for many Danish teenagers considering the same path. How does that responsibility impact you personally?
Maria: Being a role model for young transgender girls and boys was a big part of my goal for choosing to be a public figure. I hope that my book and my attempt to show that if I can do it, they can do it too. It has been inspiring for some and helped young people with their road to manhood or womanhood.
In addition, I hope I can be used as an example to show young transgender people’s parents and be a part of their understanding of what their sons or daughters are trying to explain. I believe that by sharing my journey, I can help break down barriers and foster acceptance, which is crucial for both individuals and their families. Ultimately, I want to contribute to a more supportive environment for all transgender youth.
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| Hugging a tree and loving summer. |
Maria: I don’t think I had any transgender role models. I thought that many of them looked very artificial, and that was not my goal. My goal was to fit in and blend into society. I did have a person older than me whom I had contact with and who helped me understand that what I was feeling was not wrong.
Having that connection was invaluable, as it provided me with a sense of reassurance and acceptance during a confusing time. It’s important to find people who can relate to your experiences and support you on your journey.
Monika: Reflecting on your coming out, what was the most challenging aspect for you, both personally and socially?
Maria: The hardest thing about being honest about my gender identity disorder was probably the fact that I was, in many ways, never going to fit in or be 'normal,' and also the big toll this has taken on my friends and family. Many of them have disowned me, and now I have a small but very close circle of friends and family. It was a painful process, but it ultimately led me to discover who truly supports and loves me for who I am. Learning to embrace my authenticity has helped me find strength and resilience in the face of adversity.
Monika: How has your family's support shaped your journey, particularly in your transition?
Maria: I grew up with a single mom, and she has been nothing but supportive every step of the way. I have someone whom I consider a father figure who has known me my whole life, and he is also very loving and supportive. In that way, I am very lucky. Their encouragement has given me the confidence to embrace my true self and pursue my dreams without fear. I recognize that not everyone has such a positive experience, and I feel grateful for the strong foundation they've provided me.
Monika: How do you perceive the current status of transgender women in Danish society, particularly in relation to media representation?
Maria: I think that the variety of transgender people in the media worldwide is very different. Some are very 'Barbie doll'-like, and some are not. I hope that many transgender girls, in particular, will turn down the extreme sex appeal they tend to achieve in the future. I think extreme plastic surgery is only a way for them to hide their insecurities, and that will, in many ways, increase the stigma of transgender girls being put in the same box with drag queens because of their over-the-top proportions. It's important for us to showcase a range of authentic experiences that reflect the diversity within our community. True representation can help foster understanding and acceptance among the general public.
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| Backstage at a photoshoot. |
Maria: There are some young transgender people in Denmark, but I don’t think they have a certain mission with that, but I respect all of them for being proud enough to stand forward like I did.
After I appeared on television, I saw a lot of other young transgender people appearing in the media, which made me happy. It’s encouraging to see more visibility, as it helps to normalize our presence in society. I hope this growing representation will lead to greater acceptance and understanding for future generations.
Monika: Do you engage in political activism or support any advocacy efforts? In your opinion, can transgender women create meaningful change in politics?
Maria: Although I am not active in politics, I know there are a lot of transgender people in Denmark who are. My concern is mainly the social aspect of it. I believe that visibility and representation are crucial, and transgender women who step into politics can challenge misconceptions and push for necessary reforms. Even if I’m not directly involved, I support those who fight for our rights and strive to make a difference.
Monika: Do you see marriage in your future? And what role does love play in your life?
Maria: Well, I think most girls, with or without the 'T,' have a secret dream of somebody putting a ring on it, as Beyoncé would put it, and yes, I hope to get married one day, but one never knows what the future brings. Love is a guiding force in my life, giving me hope and a sense of belonging. For me, a strong relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and the willingness to grow together.
Monika: How do the men you date typically react when they learn about your transgender history?
Maria: I am currently in a relationship, and of course, my past was an issue in the beginning, but together we overcame it and found a way to love each other. Open communication and trust played a huge role in making our relationship strong. I believe that the right person will see beyond the past and focus on the love and connection we share in the present.
Monika: Let’s talk about your everyday must-haves! What are the essentials you always carry in your bag?
Maria: Well, the essential things in my everyday bag are my computer and some lip balm, and often a few cosmetics to freshen up my look during the day, but I don’t wear a lot of makeup in my everyday life. I also like to have a small perfume bottle with me, feeling fresh and smelling nice always boosts my confidence. And, of course, my phone is a must-have, not just for staying connected but also for capturing little moments throughout the day.
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| At pride square show with friends. |
Monika: How would you describe your everyday fashion style? Do you have any favorite brands, colors, or signature looks that define your wardrobe?
Maria: It is very important to me to feel comfortable in my everyday life, so I often wear jeans and a tank top, but sometimes I style it up and wear something less anonymous like short skirts and heels. I always make sure that my makeup and hair look nice, which is very important to me. I think that if your face and hair look good, they can often distract anyone from a dull outfit. Confidence and attitude also play a huge role, sometimes, it's not just about the clothes but how you carry yourself.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think they play an important role in visibility and empowerment?
Maria: When I was younger, I had a dream of doing a pageant myself, but now I don’t want to. I think that if people want to participate, it is their own business, and I think that’s fine, but I don’t need any more judgment on my appearance. While I admire the confidence of those who compete, I personally find other ways to express my identity and self-worth. Beauty is so much more than a crown or a title, it's about how you feel within yourself.
Monika: With your stunning looks, have you ever considered pursuing modeling or acting as a career?
Maria: Well, thank you so much for thinking of me as a beautiful girl. I have done very little modeling, just for fun, and it was not really for me. I would love to do some acting in the future as I love acting and doing bits; I would love to do a comedy someday. Performing has always excited me, and I think comedy would be a great way to express myself while bringing joy to others. Maybe one day, I’ll get the chance to be in a fun and quirky role!
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| On her boyfriend's bike. |
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who fear transitioning early due to discrimination and hatred?
Maria: The only thing I can recommend is just staying true to your heart and never doubting your feelings no matter who tries to hold you down. And if it gets too hard, I know that there is always somewhere to turn, in Denmark I would recommend them to contact the LGBT community for some assistance. It’s important to remember that you’re never alone, there are always people who will support and uplift you, even when it feels like the world is against you. Finding a strong support system, whether online or in person, can make all the difference in staying resilient and confident in your journey.
MMonika: What are your hopes and aspirations for the next 5-7 years? Where do you see yourself in the future?
Maria: Right now I am just taking some classes to get some finals, studying at university, and trying to enjoy my life. I have no idea where I am in 5-7 years and I think I like it that way, it's thrilling not knowing what the future might bring. I just hope that whatever path I take, it leads to happiness and fulfillment. Life has a way of surprising us, and I’m excited to see where my journey takes me.
Monika: Maria, thank you for the interview!
Maria: You are very welcome and thank you for thinking of me for the interview.
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| Available via saxo.com. |
The main photo: credit to Kalle Lind Jensen.
All the photos: courtesy of Maria Haaning.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
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