Chris is a 60-year-old transgender woman from New Jersey who shares her transition journey online to inspire others, especially those transitioning later in life. She knew she was different from age 8, experimenting with clothes and identity while still taking on "macho" roles, playing football, earning her Eagle Scout badge, and doing rugged jobs during college. Chris built a 35-year career as an account executive in education, where she also met her wife of 33 years. They have two daughters.
Though she lived as a man for decades, Chris always felt the pull toward her true self. Reddit and seeing older trans women online encouraged her to begin transitioning at 55. Her curly hair, subtle makeup, and feminine style now reflect the woman she always was. Support from her sister and mostly positive reactions from family helped, though coming out to her wife and daughters was the hardest part. Now in her 60s, Chris lives openly and proudly as a transgender woman, cherishing every moment of authenticity.
Her journey is one of resilience, tenderness, and quiet strength. Along the way, she has become a source of comfort and inspiration for others, offering guidance, empathy, and the reassurance that it’s never too late to live as your true self. Whether through one-on-one conversations, community support, or simply by being visible, Chris reminds others that womanhood comes in many beautiful forms, and all of them are valid.
Monika: Hello Chris! It’s such a joy to reconnect with you today. Thank you for taking the time to share your story with us.
Chris: Hi Monika, it’s an honor to connect with you again, and I’m so happy to share my story and be part of this illustrious group of sisters. You asked me to do this a few years ago when I was so busy, but I wouldn’t miss the chance to take part again. Thanks again for asking me, and you are a truly special woman! I’m excited to reflect on this journey and all the growth that has come with it.
Monika: For readers meeting you for the first time, could you share a bit about who you are and the journey that brought you here?
Chris: Well, I’m so excited to be asked to participate in this, first of all. I’m 60 years old, and I’ve known I was a woman born in the wrong body since around the age of eight. I started dressing and experimenting with aligning my body and clothing to match my inner soul around that time. In high school, I played football and ran sprints for the track team. I was also a Boy Scout who loved camping and the outdoors and eventually earned the Eagle Scout award. I held all kinds of traditionally macho jobs like landscaping while in college. During that time, I dated women and adored them with all my heart, yet I longed to be living as my true self, as a female. I went on to college and began a 35+ year career as an account executive in the educational textbooks and technology world. I met my wife at an exhibit for schools, and we’ve been married for almost 33 years. We are blessed with two wonderful daughters. I love sports, music, cars, and landscaping, so I’m a bit of a tomboy. Looking back, I see how every chapter of my life was preparing me for the woman I am today.
Monika: I have to say, your hair looks absolutely stunning! Do you have a fabulous stylist behind that gorgeous mane?
Chris: Thank you so much! I really believe my hair has made a huge difference in my transition. I always had short, slicked-back business hair before, so my naturally curly hair was a pleasant surprise. I was advised to consult a curly hair specialist for proper maintenance, and she has been fabulous, we’re currently working on growing it out to below my shoulders. I absolutely love finally having long hair after wearing wigs for years. It’s one of the many things I cherish about womanhood. Every time I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, it feels like a quiet celebration of who I truly am.
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| "I am very proud to be a trans woman." |
Monika: What motivated you to open up and share your personal transition journey on social media?
Chris: Well, I was inspired by many on Reddit to finally transition after over 50 years of suppressing my true self as a transgender woman, so I thought it was time to give back. If Reddit had existed in the 1970s, I would have transitioned years ago, but it was an entirely different world back then. I never thought transitioning at my age was possible until I saw so many “seasoned” transgender women doing it. Seeing them helped me realize it wasn’t too late, and I decided to take the leap. It’s been a transformative experience, and I hope my story encourages others who feel it’s too late to start living authentically.
I had dressed as a woman all my life, so I had my look pretty much nailed down to what I wanted it to be. I am very proud to be a trans woman, and I wanted to share the joy that my transition is bringing me. I never hated living as a man, but I longed to live as my true self. It’s been a joy to share that with others, and to offer support and encouragement to other trans women. That’s what I’m about, helping others feel better about themselves.
Monika: Do you receive a lot of questions from your social media followers? What are some of the most common inquiries they have?
Chris: Yes, I do receive many questions, especially about transitioning later in life, I'm in my late 50s now, and 60 soon. People are often curious about why I waited so long and how HRT is working for me as an older woman. I explain that although I had a pretty "macho" phase, I’ve always had an androgynous look, which helped make the transition smoother. I’ve also always been very health-conscious, taking my vitamins, eating well, drinking little, and never smoking. Another question I often get is about my family and how they’ve reacted, but I prefer to keep that private. I like to keep them out of the public side of things.
Monika: Transitioning often comes with great personal sacrifice. For many of us, it means losing relationships, jobs, and social standing. Did you experience a similar price for pursuing your true self? What was the most difficult part of your coming out?
Chris: My family has been incredibly supportive and sees me as the same person, just wrapped a bit differently now. For years, I worried about how they would react, but the urge to transition eventually helped me overcome those fears. The hardest part was telling my wife and daughters. I reassured my daughters that I would still walk them down the aisle, and I truly believe I am a much better woman than I was a man. I spent so many years angry and frustrated that I wasn’t living as my true self, and unfortunately, I took that out on my family. I'm not proud of that, but it's part of my journey. As I often say, I lost my male privilege, but honestly, I’m just as happy to have lost it. The bottom line is that I am a much, much better woman than I ever was a man.
Monika: Did your family express surprise when you came out and transitioned?
Chris: Absolutely, because I was such a great actor and had everyone fooled. I was the “all-American boy,” so they were shocked and amazed when I transitioned into such a pretty and feminine woman. I did get caught dressing when I was young, but I think my parents just forgot about it. I had always tried to overcompensate by being a "man's man" to mask my underlying feminine soul and mind. Now, I am a kinder woman, much less angry, and much more willing to offer support to others. I was always a people person, but now I feel I connect with others on a whole new level.
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| "I am elated with the amazing results I have received from my hormone treatment." |
Monika: After you got married, did you ever wear feminine clothes? Did your wife ever suspect anything?
Chris: I did, but mostly in secret, just panties on a regular basis. I worked from home, so I had plenty of opportunities to dress and perfect my look. My wife never suspected anything remotely related to me being a trans woman. Looking back, I realize I was much better at hiding my true self than I ever gave myself credit for.
Monika: Do you remember the moment you came out to your mother and sister? How did they react?
Chris: Well, I’m the youngest of three, and I’ve always been very close to my sister. Growing up, I would even dress in her clothes. About five years ago, I subtly mentioned that I was a trans woman, and they were incredibly comforting and supportive of my transition. They said, looking back, I had always been good at offering advice on makeup, dress, and overall female styling. I’ve always kept up with fashion and the latest women’s trends. They also said I seem a lot happier since I started my transition. It was a weight off my shoulders to have their support.
Monika: How do you feel about the effects of hormone replacement therapy? Are you satisfied with the results so far?
Chris: I am elated with the amazing results I’ve received from my hormone treatment. If I had known it would go this well, I would have started years ago. I had many androgynous features before transitioning, so I think that helped. I have great hair, a nice developing feminine body, and my mind is so much clearer now, not as fuzzy as it was before starting HRT. It has truly been a life-changing experience.
Monika: Many of us feel trapped by the pressure to "pass" as women, and while cosmetic surgeries can help, we still face judgment based on our appearance. How do you cope with these challenges?
Chris: Yes, this is something I can relate to. Even though many people think I pass well, I still have my insecurities about blending in fully as a woman. We really have to stop obsessing over passing and just let HRT do its work while accepting the cards we're dealt. I had dreams of being a beauty queen, but as a 60-year-old, 6-foot, 185-pound trans woman, I’ve learned to embrace my unique beauty and do my best to fit in. I always aim to offer positivity to my trans sisters, but I think it’s important to keep things realistic too, no false expectations. It’s important to stay positive but grounded. I don’t plan on any facial feminization surgery, just focusing on bottom surgery in the near future.
Monika: Can you recall the first time you saw a transgender woman on TV or met someone transgender in person who helped you realize who you truly are?
Chris: Yes, absolutely. Renee Richards was one of the first people I connected with. I would read everything about her and totally relate to her story, it really helped me realize that I, too, was a trans woman. I also followed the stories of Christine Jorgensen, Donna Rose, Jenny Boylan, and others. I would rush home to watch Donahue and later Oprah to catch their segments on trans women. I came to the realization that if they could do this, so could I!
Monika: Did you have any transgender sisters around you who supported you during your transition?
Chris: Yes, I do have a few transgender sisters who have been incredibly helpful. The relationships I have with them are very different from the ones I had with my male friends, they're much more open, especially when it comes to discussing things that aren't often talked about in male circles. I reach out to them for advice on everything from hair and dress to makeup. Their support has made all the difference in my journey.
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| "I am a much much better woman than I ever was a man." |
Monika: How do you feel about the current situation of transgender women in your country?
Chris: It’s scary, but things are getting a lot better, and we must keep the pressure on our legislators to pass fair and equitable laws that support our community. I subscribe to my local LGBTQ chapter here in NJ and try to stay informed about the latest issues affecting us. It's important to remain proactive and engaged in advocating for our rights.
END OF PART 1
All photos: courtesy of Chris.
© 2023 - Monika Kowalska
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