Monika: Katherine Wolfgramme, an Australian trans advocate, award-winning gender diversity consultant, and trans awareness trainer, is with me today to talk about her amazing advocacy work and challenges related to being a transgender woman. Katherine is the Board Director at Qtopia Sydney Pride Museum, Ambassador of the Bobby Goldsmith Foundation, and Sydney World Pride Rainbow Champion. She used to hold different advocate positions in Australia, including the Ambassador of The Gender Centre, Board Associate of Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras, Public Officer of Wear It Purple, Producer of Sydney Transgender Day of Remembrance, and contributing writer and journalist for Star Observer based in Sydney. She is also a proud and prominent member of Sydney’s LGBT community. Hello Katherine!
Katherine: Hello Monika, thank you for the lovely introduction!
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Katherine: I was born in Fiji in 1972 and arrived in Australia in 1974, I was born with gender dysphoria and transitioned when I was 18 in 1990, much has changed in 33 years and I am very pleased to have witnessed positive change for the Transgender Population in Australia.
Monika: Many of us live the lives of wives, mothers, and daughters, trying to forget about our past. You have decided to be an advocate of transgender rights and be vocal about our positive image in society. Have you ever felt the temptation of being in the closet, being a woman rather than a transgender woman?
Katherine: I do feel like a woman, but I just happen to be a transgender woman. I think for all of us living our truth is most important, for me living my truth means I am free of the burdens of “living in a closet” because I found if I had to hide anything about myself I had to lie, and one lie will turn into many lies and then from many lies I would have to live a lie. I didn't want to be a prisoner to a life of lies, so I chose to be liberated by being open about myself, it is very freeing and it has enabled me to live an open and honest life without having to hide in the shadows.
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| Just before my 19th birthday in 1991. |
In saying that, I don’t find anything wrong in anyone who wishes to not be so open about themselves as long as they are happy, after all, that is why we all transitioned, to seek inner happiness. I stumbled upon advocacy work and community service, it was never my intention to be a public figure or have a high profile, for me I was frustrated by being misrepresented by people who were more political with an extremely left-wing ideology with anarchic leanings misusing our community to protest and cause havoc. I wanted people to understand that most transgender people were peaceful people seeking only to be happy and get on with their lives as a part of the broader population and we were not “rainbow unicorns” or anything else but human beings seeking equality and a fair go.
The problem also was I saw much injustice towards my community and I felt I knew how to help change that, so I did through legal and political channels and through the media. I am not transgender first, I am human first, transgender is still a part of my identity but it's not the most important part of it. Besides, it is very empowering and encouraging for other transgender people to see someone like me being positive and open to the word about my gender. I do tire of being a public figure sometimes and I daydream of living in a rural idyll, being isolated in splendid isolation - for now, it is just a fantasy because I am 51 now and am in my legacy years, working to help create a smoother pathway for the generations of transgender people who will come after me.
Monika: What does a diversity consultant do?
Katherine: 6 years ago I created a Transgender Awareness Programme specifically tailored to teach corporations cultural safety and greater empathy and understanding towards transgender people seeking employment. I was the first self-employed transgender woman in Australia delivering these services, so I won several prestigious LGBT Awards and a Fellowship at the RSA in London.
I also consult on projects such as films and exhibitions to ensure the inclusion of gender-diverse people is done respectfully and I look over transgender inclusion policies for companies and am also an adviser, I am a well-regarded transgender public speaker and I am a published journalist for the LGBT Press in Australia.
My life is very busy but it is also very rewarding, and I believe I am doing my life's work right now and that is what drives me.
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| The Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Awards in 1999. |
Katherine: First and foremost I am an educator so I generally just teach and educate, I find people are genuinely interested in things they do not understand so I am pleased I am able to facilitate their curiosity with the knowledge that I have collected over the 33 years since my transition.
Monika: We all pay the highest price for the fulfillment of our dreams to be ourselves. As a result, we lose our families, friends, jobs, and social positions. Did you pay such a high price as well? What was the hardest thing about your coming out?
Katherine: There is a universal price for everything, I understood that I would probably lead a solitary life void of marriage and I would never have children. But I am free and I am genuinely happy to have lived my life as Katherine, so I gladly paid that price.
Monika: Why did you choose Katherine for your name?
Katherine: I knew I would need a strong name, to me Katherine sounded very strong yet feminine, I am from an old-fashioned family where everyone is named other each other so I named myself after a very strong and wonderful grand-aunt named Katarina, which is Fijian for Kathrine. I love my name.
Monika: Was your family surprised by your transition?
Katherine: No, my family knew I was meant to be a woman, they didn't encourage it, in fact, they feared it, but here I am. They are all quite proud of me and my community service now. But things were different when I was younger and there was no Internet to educate or support them. They thought they were cursed.
Monika: We are said to be prisoners of passing or non-passing syndrome. Although cosmetic surgeries help to overcome it, we will always be judged accordingly. How can we cope with this?
Katherine: I pass very easily, we are all insecure when we are young and of course, we want to pass and be beautiful, it is only natural to have this desire. I think it is sad though that much of our survival and community attitudes towards us are dependent on how we look. Not everyone can pass and it is unfair that they will be treated differently and discriminated against. I would like this to change. We should not be judged on our looks, we should be judged by what we can offer the world in terms of employment and human equity and potential.
Monika: Are you satisfied with the effects of the hormone treatment?
Katherine: I am, the hormones turned me into a beautiful woman and I have enjoyed my femininity, my whole life as Katherine. I celebrate my femininity in everything that I do, it also keeps my skin supple and soft and keeps me looking far younger than my actual age.
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| "There is a universal price for everything, I understood that would probably lead a solitary life void of marriage and I would never have children." |
Monika: Do you remember the first time you saw a transgender woman on TV or met anyone transgender in person that opened your eyes and allowed you to realize who you are?
Katherine: Yes, in a magazine article, it was wonderful because it was the first time I found out it was possible to make me look outside how I felt inside.
Monika: Did you have any transgender sisters around you that supported you during the transition?
Katherine: Yes, we all came together for safety and belonging, we all had to leave home to transition in those days so we became families to replace the families that we had lost. Now parents are keeping their transgender children at home so more often than before. In Australia young trans people live under the protection of their parents, which I think is the most wonderful thing.
Monika: What do you think about the present situation of transgender women in your country?
Katherine: Living in Australia, I understand that we are very lucky to be safe and to be protected by equal rights. What I see happening in America and England and Eastern Europe horrifies me and makes me not wish to travel anymore, it also breaks my heart that I am helpless to help other transgender communities in other countries that are being persecuted just for being alive.
Monika: Do you like fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any special fashion designs, colors, or trends?
Katherine: I am a brand ambassador for a wonderful Australian label that is famous for its kaftans so I get to wear many beautiful and colorful silk kaftans, they make me feel beautiful and feminine and free.
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| "I never wanted to be a model or anything like that." |
Katherine: The only way to explain my own experience is I squeezed every masculine trait out of me and all that was left was my feminine side. When I first transitioned I took inspiration from people I found glamorous and beautiful but I never sought to be or look like anything unattainable.
I never wanted to be a model or anything like that. I was always content just to look like a woman, nothing more. I never had a great ambition to be wealthy or powerful, I just wanted to be an uber-feminine woman with lovely hair, nice makeup, and beautiful dresses. I celebrate my femininity and find joy in that.
Monika: By the way, do you like being complimented on your looks?
Katherine: Of course, I do, who doesn't? But I also work hard to preserve my beauty by wearing hats using parasols and buying only the very strongest sunscreens.
Monika: Do you remember your first job interview as a woman?
Katherine: Yes, it was awful, awkward, and embarrassing.
Monika: What would you advise to all transwomen looking for employment?
Katherine: Don't worry that you are trans, it is not something that matters when you are seeking work, what truly matters is your capabilities and what assets and skills you can bring to your place of employment, and focus on that in your resume and during your interviews.
Monika: Could you tell me about the importance of love in your life?
Katherine: I am asexual which means I have no interest in sexual contact, my love is platonic and I love many many friends, and in return, I am greatly loved by my community. I understand it is unique and it is human nature to crave the singular love of a partner but I am not built that way. You could say the love that I possess and share is very maternal, many young LGBT people call me mother too, which delights me and fulfills my needs.
Monika: Many transgender ladies write their memoirs. Have you ever thought about writing such a book yourself?
Katherine: Yes, I will write my memoirs, but I haven't stopped living yet, and if my life was a book, I have only just come to the good bit!
Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender women that are afraid of transition?
Katherine: Life is lived by the brave, the hardest part is to recognise that you are meant to be a woman, the easy part is doing something about it, finding oneself, accepting and loving oneself is worth fighting for and working towards.
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| "I dream for a better future for me and future generations of transgender people across Australia." |
Monika: My pen-friend Gina Grahame wrote to me once that we should not limit our potential because of how we were born or by what we see other transgender people doing. Our dreams should not end on an operating table; that’s where they begin. Do you agree with this?
Katherine: I do, I believe in dreams, I dreamed myself into existence, I dreamed of a better future, I dream for a better future for me and future generations of transgender people across Australia, we should never stop dreaming because dreams really do come true.
Monika: Katherine, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Katherine: It was a pleasure to be interviewed by you. Thank you for your time and remember me with kindness.
All the photos: courtesy of Katherine Wolfgramme.
© 2023 - Monika Kowalska
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