Michelle Hendley is an American actress, video blogger and cosmetology student from Missouri who has shared her transition journey with viewers on YouTube. At 22, she has already built a life around several creative passions, from acting and makeup to fashion and storytelling, while using her own experiences to connect with other transgender people online. Michelle began documenting her life on YouTube before she had a clear idea of what she wanted her channel to become. After her own “gender realization,” she was inspired by transgender women who openly shared their stories online and helped her feel less alone. She decided to do the same for others, becoming part of the growing online trans community and offering encouragement through her own experiences. Michelle describes the effects of HRT as extending far beyond physical changes, giving her a sense that her mind and body are finally operating in sync. Her childhood was largely happy and supportive, although adolescence brought bullying, social isolation and an increasing discomfort with being described as a “young man.”
Coming out was accompanied by fears about acceptance and about not being able to pass, but her extended family ultimately supported her decision to transition. Alongside her transition, Michelle is developing a distinctly creative identity. She loves makeup, favors classic clothing and black with subtle touches of color, and draws inspiration from the effortless aesthetic of chic Parisian women. Michelle speaks openly about her hopes for the future, from moving to New York City and pursuing acting to possibly making makeup her profession. She would also like to become a spokesperson for the transgender community and use her voice to empower others. At the same time, she dreams of finding love and eventually raising a family after fulfilling her own ambitions. Despite acknowledging the uncertainties ahead, Michelle describes herself as a very happy woman, excited by the possibilities of being young and building a life that feels authentically her own.
Monika: Michelle, it is wonderful to finally sit down with you after following your videos and your honesty online. Welcome to the interview!
Michelle: Hello Monika!
Monika: To start, could you say a few words about yourself?
Michelle: Hmm, well, I am 22 years old, I live in Missouri, USA, and I am a cosmetology student.
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| January 2012 (3 months on HRT). |
Monika: What inspired you to start sharing your transition journey on YouTube?
Michelle: When I first started my channel a couple of years ago, I really did not know what I wanted to say on YouTube. For a while, I just made little updates about my life, and around that time, I had my “gender realization.” I watched many other trans women on YouTube telling their own stories, and I saw how much they helped other girls who were too scared to start being themselves, including myself.
I decided I wanted to be a part of the online trans community and share my own experiences with transition. By sharing my journey, I hoped to provide support and encouragement to those who might feel alone in their experiences. It has been rewarding to connect with others and help foster a sense of belonging in the community.
Monika: Can you share what stage of your transition you are currently in?
Michelle: Well, I live full-time as a woman and have for the past year and a half, I would say. I have been on hormones for almost two years now, and I am pre-operative. It has been an incredible journey of self-discovery, and I feel more aligned with my true self every day. Each step has brought me closer to the life I have always wanted, and I am excited for what is to come.
Monika: How do you feel about the results of your hormone therapy so far?
Michelle: Oh my God, yes! Beyond just the physical changes, probably the greatest part of hormone therapy has been the chemical ones. It is as though my brain and my body are operating in sync for the first time, or as close as they have ever been.
The way I describe it to people is like my mind was fuzzy and out of focus, like a radio or an old TV, and with hormones, it has all become a clearer picture. This clarity has not only boosted my confidence but has also allowed me to connect with myself and others on a deeper level. I truly feel like I am becoming the person I was always meant to be.
Monika: What was your childhood like, and when did you first realize you did not identify as a boy or a man?
Michelle: I had a fantastic childhood. My parents have always been very supportive of me, and I was able to be myself for the most part. I did not realize just how different I was until my teenage years, when people were referring to me as a “young man.” I was okay with being called a “boy,” but a “man”? It seemed just too masculine.
Puberty was terrifying too. I was afraid I was going to wake up one day looking like my dad. Eventually, I came to understand myself completely off the male scale, and now I identify as a girl. Looking back, I can see the signs were always there, but it took me time to connect the dots. Now, I embrace my journey and the joy of living authentically.
Monika: Many transgender girls face significant trauma during their time in school, college, or university due to discrimination. Did you experience anything similar?
Michelle: I would say so. I was bullied and teased quite a bit throughout grade school and started avoiding as much social interaction as possible in middle school. A good friend of mine and I kind of joined forces and learned how to combat the teasing with our own witty comebacks, and that really helped me get through some of those tougher years.
I will say, though, I was never beaten up or abused. I had it pretty good compared to many other trans women out there. Despite the challenges, I learned the importance of resilience and found strength in my friendships, which made a huge difference. Those experiences shaped who I am today and fuelled my passion for advocating for others facing similar struggles.
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| "Michelle's Transition Timeline" (YouTube). |
Monika: Are there any transgender role models who inspire you?
Michelle: Anyone who is able to be themselves with the utmost confidence and grace is a role model to me. I will say, though, Jaime Clayton, Carmen Carrera, and Candis Cayne are three women I would love to have dinner with. Their journeys and achievements not only empower me but also show the world the beauty of living authentically. I admire how they use their platforms to advocate for the trans community and create positive change.
Monika: What do you think was the most challenging part of your coming out experience?
Michelle: I was definitely afraid of not being able to pass. I am pretty sure every transgender person worries about that. However, I was most afraid of how my extended family was going to receive the news. I was going to transition whether I had their blessing or not, but it was still very scary to think they might not be okay with it.
In the end, they all still loved me and supported my decision. It was a huge relief to receive their acceptance, and it strengthened our family bond. That experience taught me the importance of being true to myself, no matter the uncertainties.
Monika: How do you feel about the current state of transgender women's rights and visibility in American society?
Michelle: I think our place is improving. Transgender awareness is growing, there are more trans people appearing in television and film, and there are more conversations about gender and gender equality. I feel that this is a great time to be transgender and to take part in educating the general public about our place in society. Of course, there are still challenges, especially when it comes to legal protections and social acceptance in certain areas. But every conversation, every bit of visibility, and every personal story shared helps push progress forward.
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| January 2012 (3 months on HRT). |
Monika: In recent years, we have seen more transgender women stepping into the spotlight, in film directing like Lana Wachowski, modeling like Jenna Talackova, academia like Kate Bornstein, music like Laura Jane Grace, and acting like Candis Cayne. Do you think this trend will keep growing?
Michelle: I hope so! It is so empowering to see these people coming out of the woodwork with unique stories and experiences that I believe everyone needs to hear. Their visibility helps normalize transgender identities and gives hope to those who are still struggling to come out.
The more representation we have, the easier it becomes for society to embrace diversity and for younger trans individuals to see a future where they can truly be themselves.
Monika: Do you think we will see a day in our lifetime when a transgender woman could become President of the United States?
Michelle: That is a tough question. I think we would all like to believe that this could be possible even today, but that probably is not the case. I believe it will take at least one cis woman in office before America would accept a transgender woman in that position, but who am I to say? Society's views are evolving, and as more trans individuals step into leadership roles, the idea may not seem so far-fetched. If history has taught us anything, it is that progress often comes from the most unexpected places.
Monika: Are you passionate about fashion? What styles and outfits do you usually go for, and do you have favorite colors, trends, or designers?
Michelle: I love fashion, especially makeup. I am not sure if I have 100 percent found my own personal sense of style, but it has definitely improved over the years. I love black. I love black with just subtle hints of color or tones. Even grayscales are beautiful to me. I am also really big into classic styles of clothing and pieces that can withstand the constantly changing fashion world.
I adore chic Parisian girls. They have a tousled, simple, but very forward aesthetic that I strive to achieve. I think fashion is such an important form of self-expression, and I love how it allows me to experiment with different aspects of my personality. There is something empowering about putting on an outfit that makes you feel truly yourself.
Monika: What is your take on transgender beauty pageants? Do you think they help increase visibility and acceptance for trans women?
Michelle: They are fabulous. I would love to attend one someday. These pageants give trans women a platform to celebrate their beauty, confidence, and achievements in a world that often tries to erase them. I think they also challenge outdated beauty standards and show the world that femininity comes in many forms.
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| "Making Movies" (YouTube). |
Monika: Do you take part in any activities within your local LGBTQ+ community, or are there events and initiatives you particularly enjoy supporting?
Michelle: I am not especially involved with LGBT politics in my community, but I do love supporting local drag performers at their state competitions. I think events like that still help bring attention to our community. Even just showing up and celebrating queer artistry can be a form of activism in its own way. I would love to get more involved in the future, maybe by volunteering at LGBTQ+ events or supporting organizations that help trans youth.
Monika: Do marriage and starting a family fit into your future? How significant is love in your life, and what does it mean to you?
Michelle: It is something I have thought more and more about as I get older. I think I would very much love to raise a family, but not until I have fulfilled my own goals and aspirations. Ultimately, beyond a flourishing career and an established identity, I would like to find true love. For now, dating is unrealistic where I live, and I hope to get out into the world and meet a variety of people.
I am a very passionate and expressive person, so love, specifically romantic love, is very important to me. I believe that love, in all its forms, has the power to shape and transform us, making life more meaningful. Even if marriage is not in the cards, I would love to build deep, lasting connections with people who truly understand me.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are hesitant about transitioning out of fear of discrimination and hatred?
Michelle: Early transition is a bit of a balancing act. You have to decide what comes first, you or other people. It is selfish to believe that you are the most important person in this world, but it is just as wrong to suppress yourself for everyone else's benefit. My suggestion is to remain as true and real with yourself as possible. Gender can be a very limiting and complicated aspect of any person, but as long as you stay true to yourself, it can just be another factor of what makes you you.
Understand your own limitations, and do not be afraid to move forward in your life. People will come and go, but it is you who you have to live with forever. Also, get a cute pair of shoes, girl. And do not be afraid to take things one step at a time, transition is a journey, not a race. Even small steps toward your happiness are worth celebrating.
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| Recent photo. |
Monika: What are your current plans, and where do you see yourself in the next five to seven years?
Michelle: Right now, I am just finishing up cosmetology school and hoping to move out to New York City to pursue acting within the next year. Recently, I starred in an upcoming film called Boy Meets Girl, about a transgender girl named Ricky, directed by Eric Schaeffer. I encourage everyone to check this film out. I am really hoping it will reach people and speak some truths about the trans experience. If this film does well, I can only imagine where I might be in five to seven years.
I would love to be a spokesperson for the transgender community and help spread the word. If worse comes to worst, I hope to make makeup my profession. Either way, I want to use my voice and skills to empower others, whether through storytelling, beauty, or advocacy. No matter where life takes me, I hope to inspire people to be their most authentic selves.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Michelle: I am very happy and very excited about my future. Everything kind of feels up in the air and like it could all change at any moment, but I have a feeling that is part of the fun of being young!
Monika: Michelle, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thank you so much!
Michelle: Thank you so much! I really appreciate this opportunity!
All the photos: courtesy of Michelle Hendley.
© 2013 - Monika Kowalska
Update of 5 January 2015
When I first interviewed Michelle Hendley in 2013, she was a young woman documenting her transition on YouTube and studying cosmetology. At the time, she had no plans to pursue acting, but life had other ideas. Just a year later, she made her film debut as the lead in Boy Meets Girl, a groundbreaking romantic comedy-drama directed by Eric Schaeffer. The film would not only introduce Michelle to the world but also mark a significant moment for transgender representation in cinema.
Michelle was discovered by Schaeffer, who was searching for a transgender actress to play the role of Ricky, a young trans woman living in a small Kentucky town with dreams of moving to New York to study fashion design. Schaeffer came across Michelle's YouTube channel, where she candidly shared her journey, and saw something special in her. Although she had never acted before, reading the script and discussing the project with Schaeffer convinced her to take the leap.
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| Boy Meets Girl (2014). |
Boy Meets Girl follows Ricky as she navigates love, friendship, and self-discovery in her conservative hometown. Her closest companion is Robby, played by Michael Welch, a childhood friend who has always been by her side. When Ricky meets Francesca, played by Alexandra Turshen, an unexpected connection blossoms, challenging both of their perspectives on love and identity. The film is an honest and heartfelt exploration of relationships, breaking away from traditional narratives about transgender characters by focusing on romance and personal growth rather than struggle and tragedy.
The film was met with critical acclaim, praised for its authentic portrayal of a transgender protagonist and its fresh approach to storytelling. Gary Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times called it a “lovely story, one which brims with credible, enormously heartfelt emotion.” The Washington Post noted its educational value as well, describing it as a film that works as both an emotional story and an instructive one.
Michelle's performance was widely appreciated, with many critics and viewers praising her natural talent and screen presence. For someone who had never considered acting as a career, she delivered a performance that resonated deeply with audiences and helped shift the conversation around transgender representation in film.
Looking back at my interview with Michelle before all of this, it is fascinating to see how life unfolded for her. At the time, she was focused on her personal journey, sharing her experiences online, and figuring out her future. Just a year later, she was at the center of a film that would become a milestone in transgender cinema. It is a testament to how opportunities can come unexpectedly and how representation can take many forms, even for those who never saw themselves stepping into the spotlight. Michelle's journey from YouTube to the big screen is one of inspiration, proving that sometimes life's most unexpected turns lead to the most extraordinary destinations.
