One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman. No biological, psychological, or economic fate determines the figure that the human female presents in society. We are wives, mothers, grandmothers, sisters, daughters, and partners. I interviewed over 700 transgender women who radiate with wisdom, beauty, intelligence and love. The blog is about transgender women who proved to me that there is hope for me and it is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for who you are not.
Monika: Today, it is my great pleasure and honor to interview Kara Nicole Hays, an extraordinary woman whose journey has captivated many. Kara is an American talent, known for her remarkable emulation of pop icon Britney Spears. Hailing from a small town in southeastern Ohio, Kara made headlines in 2012 as the media covered her transition, surgeries, and her unique tribute to Britney. Her appearance on The Tyra Show, alongside fellow transgender trailblazers Isis King and Dr. Marci Bowers, further solidified her place in the public eye. Kara’s story is one of self-expression, resilience, and courage. Hello, Kara, and thank you for joining me today!
Kara: Hello Monika! Thank you for reaching out to me to do this interview. I’m excited to answer what you have in store for me. I’m also honored that you have taken the time to set up this interview to feature me on your site. I greatly appreciate it.
Monika: Rosalyne Blumenstein is a pioneering figure in the transgender community, having transitioned in the 1970s and become a strong advocate for transgender rights and public health. She helped popularize the term "transgender" through her work at the Lesbian and Gay Community Services Center in New York, where she directed the Gender Identity Project. Her journey, from her early days in Canarsie to becoming a mentor and muse to artists like Zackary Drucker, continues to inspire. Her life embodies the struggle and triumph of navigating a world that often resists the complexities of gender. Hello Rosalyne!
Rosalyne: Hello Monika! First I want to thank you for having this website and bringing a variety of voices together to share with others. And second, thank you for asking me to participate. Hopefully, even after my responses to your questions, you will feel the same way☺.
Monika: Having had so many talents and jobs, which profession do you enjoy most?
Rosalyne: The one that pays the rent of course!☺ There have been many phases in my life and within those stages of life and my varied professions. There was enjoyment and struggle within each and every phase. What I can say is that I have learned so much about myself and the world around me within each phase and each profession. I’ve been involved in professions that had a tremendous stigma attached to them at the time I was involved.
Monika: Today, I am thrilled to have the opportunity to speak with Şevval Kılıç, a prominent Turkish LGBT activist who has dedicated her life to advocating for transgender rights. Şevval is a key member of several vital organizations, including Istanbul LGBTT Dayanışma Derneği and Trans-Blok, and she plays an integral role in organizing the Istanbul Trans Pride parade. Şevval's journey as a trans woman in Turkey, a country known for its struggles with transphobia and violence against the transgender community, is both inspiring and essential to understanding the challenges faced by many. Hello, Şevval! Thank you for joining me today.
Şevval: Hi Monika!
Monika: You come from a country that is notorious for transphobia crimes, just to mention the murder of Neşe Dilşeker in 2012 and Dora Özer in 2013. Is Turkey not a country for transgender women?
Şevval: I wouldn’t say it that way but at the same time yes, the number of trans hate crimes is rising as never before. However, transphobia is everywhere with different levels, of course, from Japan to the USA, maybe Turkey is more gender-based-hypocritical.
Monika: Today, I have the honor of speaking with Andrea Jean James, an influential American transgender rights activist, filmmaker, and blogger. Born in 1967, Andrea has spent decades advocating for transgender issues, particularly challenging the work of sexologists who, she argues, exploit the transgender community for academic gain. As the creator of the online resource Transgender Map, Andrea has provided invaluable advice and information to trans individuals while also raising awareness about harmful practices in the field. She co-founded Deep Stealth Productions with her close collaborator, Calpernia Addams, and has worked tirelessly to create media that reflects and empowers transgender lives. Andrea's dedication to the rights and visibility of trans people continues to inspire and push boundaries within both the activist and film communities. Hello, Andrea, and thank you for being here today!
Andrea: Hi Monika—thanks for interviewing me!
Monika: Having so many talents, which profession do you enjoy most? Andrea: I enjoy writing educational information because that fulfills my interest in teaching. Unfortunately, we live in a world where a large swath of people can’t be reached through the written word, so I also work in film and television.
Monika: Today, it is my pleasure and honor to interview Rajée Rajindra Narinesingh, an American transgender activist, author, actress, and public speaker who has made a significant impact in both the LGBTQ+ community and beyond. Rajée is best known for her autobiography Beyond Face Value, where she shares her deeply personal journey, including the traumatic experience of botched facial surgeries, as well as her advocacy for transgender rights.
In addition to her literary accomplishments, she has also made her mark on the entertainment industry, acting in notable roles such as Aunt Norma in the groundbreaking show Bella Maddo, an all-transgender production. Rajée’s activism extends far beyond the stage and page, as she has worked tirelessly to secure civil rights for transgender individuals and continues to inspire many with her commitment to justice, love, and self-acceptance. Hello Rajée!
Monika: Today, I have the pleasure and honor of speaking with Jenna Fischetti, a remarkable woman whose advocacy has made a lasting impact on the transgender community in Maryland and beyond. Jenna is not only a dedicated transgender activist and advocate but also a contributor to The Transadvocate, where she amplifies the voices of trans individuals and sheds light on crucial issues. As the founder of TransMaryland, Jenna has worked tirelessly to provide support, education, and advocacy for transgender people and their allies, ensuring that they have the resources and protections they deserve.
Her leadership extends to her years as a facilitator for the Gender Identity Groups at the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Community Center of Baltimore and Central Maryland (GLCCB), where she guided and empowered many in their journeys. With a deep commitment to justice and equality, Jenna has been at the forefront of legislative efforts, community-building initiatives, and grassroots activism, all aimed at improving the lives of trans people. It’s an honor to have her here today to share her experiences, insights, and vision for a more inclusive future. Jenna, welcome to the interview!
Monika: Today, I have the pleasure of interviewing Kayla Ward, a young American video blogger who has been documenting her transition on YouTube. Through her channel, Kayla shares the highs and lows of her journey, offering support and inspiration to countless viewers navigating similar paths. Her openness and honesty have made her a role model for many in the transgender community. Kayla, welcome to the interview!
Kayla: Hi, thanks for contacting me.
Monika: Could you say a few words about yourself?
Kayla: I am finally happy now that I can be on the outside who I have always been on the inside. I have been living full-time for a little over a year now and have loved every minute of it! Every day feels like a new opportunity to embrace life as my true self, and I wouldn’t trade this journey for anything.
Monika: Why did you decide to share your transition details on YouTube?
Kayla: I followed many girls like me for years and was inspired by their journey and wanted to share the same inspiration with others. I know how important it is to see someone going through the same experiences, and if my story can help even one person feel less alone or more confident in their path, then it’s all worth it.
Monika: At which stage of the transition are you right now?
Kayla: Everything is done but SRS and that is soon.
Monika: Are you satisfied with the results of the hormone therapy?
Kayla: More than satisfied. I didn’t expect things to change as much as they have. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. I finally feel at peace with myself in a way I never thought possible. It’s amazing how aligning my body with my true self has brought me so much confidence and happiness.
Fall Fashion.
Monika: Could you tell me about your childhood? When was the first time you realized that you were not meant to be a boy?
Kayla: I first felt out of place when I was about five years old. I didn’t have the words to explain it, but I knew deep down that something didn’t feel right. I hated who I was but was too afraid to tell anyone, so I kept it all inside. Instead of expressing my true feelings, I threw myself into sports as a way to distract myself. Playing sports gave me a temporary escape, but no matter how hard I tried, that feeling of not belonging never went away. Looking back, I wish I had been able to talk to someone about what I was going through, but at the time, I just didn’t know how.
Monika: For many transgender women, school, college, or university can be the most challenging time due to bullying and discrimination. Did you experience the same difficulties?
Kayla: I wasn’t out during that time, so I never faced that kind of discrimination directly. I tried my best to blend in and avoid attention, but deep down, I felt like I was hiding a huge part of myself. I did lose a few friends after I came out, but I also gained many others who accepted me wholeheartedly. Looking back, I wish I had been able to live as my true self earlier, but I’m grateful for where I am now.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models that have inspired you?
Kayla: Absolutely! There are so many incredible women who have paved the way for people like me. Candis Cayne was one of the first trans actresses I ever saw on television, and she showed me that it’s possible to live authentically and successfully in the public eye. Carmen Carrera is not only stunning but also a fierce advocate for transgender visibility in the fashion industry. Isis King inspired me early on with her confidence on America’s Next Top Model, proving that trans women belong in mainstream media. Jamie Clayton is an amazing actress whose talent speaks for itself, and Laverne Cox has been a game-changer, using her platform to educate the world about transgender rights. Each of these women, in their own way, has given me the courage to embrace my journey.
Monika: What was the hardest part of coming out for you?
Kayla: Losing my wife. We had built a life together, and I truly loved her, but she couldn’t see herself in a relationship with a woman. It was heartbreaking, but I had to stay true to myself. At the same time, coming out also brought me a sense of freedom I had never felt before. Even though I lost some people along the way, I gained self-respect and a community that supports me.
Monika: How do you see the current situation for transgender women in American society?
Kayla: Major progress is happening, but there is still a long way to go. We see more representation in media, politics, and workplaces, but there are still many places where trans women face discrimination, especially in healthcare and legal rights. There’s a growing awareness, and younger generations are more accepting, which gives me hope for the future.
Monika: More and more transgender women are stepping into the public eye. Unlike in previous years, some are now celebrities or well-known figures—Lana Wachowski in film, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you think we will continue to see even more trans women rising to prominence?
Kayla: I absolutely do. In sports, movies, TV, and modeling, trans women are proving that we can succeed in any industry. There are lots of opportunities to be who we are and to be accepted, no matter what field we pursue. With more visibility comes more acceptance, and I think we’ll see even greater representation in the years to come. It’s an exciting time, and I’m hopeful that future generations of trans women will have even more role models to look up to.
Monika: Do you believe that within our lifetime, a transgender woman could become President of the United States?
Kayla: It’s possible, but I don’t think it will happen anytime soon. There are still too many barriers in politics and society, and unfortunately, a lot of prejudice still exists. However, as more trans people step into leadership roles, I do believe we’ll continue breaking down those barriers. Maybe not in our lifetime, but one day, I have no doubt it will happen.
All Legs.
Monika: Do you enjoy fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Are there any specific designs, colors, or trends that you love?
Kayla: I absolutely love fashion and design! I’ve been lucky enough to have some wonderful friends who have helped guide me in finding my style and learning how to put together outfits that make me feel confident. I love feminine styles, dresses, skirts, and anything that makes me feel elegant. I’m also a big fan of soft pastels and floral prints, but I’ll never say no to a classic little black dress. Fashion has been such a fun way for me to express my identity, and I’m always looking for new ways to refine my look.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants?
Kayla: I think the women who participate in them are absolutely beautiful, and it’s wonderful to see transgender women being celebrated for their confidence and grace. However, I don’t think there should have to be a separation between transgender pageants and mainstream beauty pageants. Beauty is beauty, and I hope that one day, transgender women will be able to compete in all pageants without restrictions. Until then, I think these pageants are a great way to uplift and empower trans women.
Monika: Are you involved in your local LGBT community?
Kayla: There isn’t a big LGBT community where I live, but I have connected with some amazing people in Dallas. I’ve participated in a few events and met some incredible friends through those experiences. I’d love to get even more involved in advocacy and support work because I know how important community is, especially for transgender people who might feel isolated.
Monika: Do you hope to get married and have a family one day? How important is love in your life?
Kayla: I definitely hope to find love and get married one day. It’s something I think about daily because I’ve always dreamed of having a partner to share my life with. Love is such a powerful thing, and I believe that everyone deserves to find someone who sees them for who they truly are. While I’m happy with where I am now, I know that finding the right person would make life even more fulfilling.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are afraid to start their transition due to discrimination and hatred?
Kayla: More people will accept you and love you than you might think. It’s easy to focus on the negative stories and the fear of rejection, but there is so much support out there. When you are true to yourself and treat others with kindness, life opens up in some amazing ways. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, and remember that your happiness is worth fighting for. Transitioning isn’t easy, but it’s one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself.
Monika: What’s next for you? Where do you see yourself in the next 5-7 years?
Kayla: The next big step for me is SRS! It’s something I’ve been working toward for a long time, and I’m so excited for this next chapter in my journey. In the long run, I’d love to see myself in the WNBA and living as a happily married woman. More than anything, I just want to continue living my life authentically and helping others along the way.
Monika: Could you say that you are a happy woman now?
Kayla: I am more than happy!!!
Monika: Kayla, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Monika: Today, I have the pleasure of speaking with Kayhar, a multi-talented singer and trans activist whose journey has touched thousands. Known for her powerful vocals and deeply personal storytelling, she has documented her transition on YouTube in a way that is both artistic and inspiring. Her unique blend of music and activism has made a significant impact, and I’m thrilled to have her here today. Hello, Kayhar!
Kayhar: Hi Monika! Thank you for inviting me.
Monika: To start, could you tell us a little more about yourself?
Kayhar: Sure thing. My name is Kayhar, and I’m an artist and trans activist. Music and advocacy go hand in hand for me, and I try to use my voice in every way possible.
Monika: What inspired you to share your transition on YouTube?
Kayhar: I always wanted to make one of my own, but I wanted mine to be memorable. I also wanted an opportunity to introduce myself as a singer. Eventually, I came up with the idea to combine both in one video. It felt like the perfect way to blend my personal journey with my passion for music. Looking back, I wouldn’t have done it any other way.
Monika: You have two incredible videos on YouTube. Your first one, featuring a cover of Coldplay’s “Fix You,” has been viewed by over 330,000 people! That’s amazing!
Kayhar: Thank you! I’m aware of how fortunate I am to have had my story reach so many people. I hope that every other transition video out there receives the same amount of support as mine. It’s a reminder that visibility matters and can truly touch lives. Every comment and message I receive reminds me why I started this journey.
Monika: Your second video, “Battlefield,” is absolutely unique—you perform a duet with your pre-transition self. I’ve never seen anything like that before!
Kayhar: The idea for that video was also conceived with the concept of ‘memorable’ in mind. Luckily, I found an old video of myself pre-transition covering “Battlefield.” Clearly, the end result was a bit pitchy. However, the message came across quite well in my opinion. Trans women are a force to be reckoned with. I wanted to showcase how far I’ve come and honor my journey in a creative way. It was also an emotional experience, almost like a conversation with my past self.
Monika: Do you have any exciting new projects coming up?
Kayhar: Yes! I’m happy to announce that I will be launching a Kickstarter campaign to help me fund the production and release of my first EP. I’ve written an original song specifically for this campaign. I’m working on releasing a live performance (video) of that song with a band composed of trans women on the date of the Kickstarter campaign launch. It’s a project close to my heart, and I can’t wait to share it with the world. It’s more than just music, it’s a statement.
Monika: We have so many talented transgender singers—Justin Vivian Bond, Amanda Lear, Namoli Brennet, Canary Conn, Marie France, Dana International, Mina Caputo, Diamond Stylz, Laura Jane Grace, and many more. However, none have broken into the mainstream charts. Do you think we’ll see that change with you?
Kayhar: I certainly hope so. Mainstream America is craving something completely original. Our iPhones and music charts are chock full of pop stars whose careers are designed and built by LGBT people. However, very few LGBT people have made it to the top. Why is that? Why are we good enough to create art and trends, but never good enough to be the poster child for what WE create? This is true for transgender women specifically. We’re often mistaken for undesirable creatures with nothing much to offer other than a chuckle at our own expense, or a cheap discrete thrill (for most of our admirers). With the recent rise of talented, intellectual transgender women in the media, THIS WILL CHANGE. The industry is shifting, and I hope to be part of that movement. The world is ready for a transgender pop star.
Monika: When you began your transition, did you have any trans role models?
Kayhar: My lifelong friend (and transgender model) Giana Caceres served as my closest role model. She supported me when no one was even aware of my Gender Identity Disorder. With her help, I was able to begin my transition. Had I not experienced her journey to serve as a blueprint, I may have probably given in to my deep depression. Dina Marie Delicious also played an important part as a role model for me. I’m very grateful to have had these women to look up to. Role models are vital, and I hope to be that for someone else now. Representation truly saves lives.
Monika: What was the hardest part of coming out?
Kayhar: Accepting MYSELF as a trans woman was probably the most difficult part. Coming to terms with my own gender wasn’t something I expected I’d have to do. I knew that other people would have an issue with it, but I wasn’t aware that I too would dislike the rituals of HRT, cosmetic procedures, announcements, and clarifications of my gender, dating, employment, etc. It’s all so exhausting. After about a year of the same routines, you reach a point where it no longer matters anymore. You learn not to care if you aren’t understood, as long as it doesn’t interfere with who you are. Self-acceptance is the foundation for everything else. Once I embraced myself, everything else fell into place.
"Accepting MYSELF as a Transwoman was
probably the most difficult part."
Monika: Are you politically active? Do you think transgender women can make a real impact in politics?
Kayhar: I’d like to see more trans women run for office. We lack sufficient representation of trans women in politics, as well as on the boards of LGBT-related organizations. As a result, we’re often cut out of legislation that supports the equal treatment of LGBT people. It’s important for us (trans people) to monitor & lead these organizations so that equality is secured for ALL LGBT people and not just some. Visibility in politics can help bring real change, and we need more voices at the table. The more of us who step up, the stronger we become as a community.
Monika: Let’s talk fashion! Do you love it? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Any favorite trends?
Kayhar: Before my transition, I spent years as a Clubkid in the NYC nightlife scene. I consistently wore many of my own original pieces. Fashion is a big part of my life, and I think you’ll see that in my upcoming projects. Expression through clothing is empowering, and I love experimenting with style. Fashion is freedom.
Monika: Are you involved in your local LGBTQ+ community?
Kayhar: I try as much as I can to be a part of events in my local community.
Monika: Do you see marriage and family in your future? How important is love in your life?
Kayhar: I will someday have children of my own. That is a fact. Preferably, I’ll have a husband, a house, a white picket fence, and a family dog, too. All jokes aside, I do dream of that day, though at the moment my primary focus is my art. Love is beautiful, and I look forward to experiencing it fully. Until then, I’m married to my music.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women afraid of transitioning due to discrimination and hate?
Kayhar: I’d tell them to take a page out of Nike’s book: Just do it. Most of the things holding you back are in your head. The rest? It can be dealt with. Yes, discrimination and hate exist, but the world is changing. Don’t put off your happiness for a future that’s uncertain. Start living now.
Monika: What’s next for you? Where do you see yourself in five to seven years?
Kayhar: Right now, my top priority is my first EP. But my long-term goal? To be the first trans woman to earn a Grammy nomination. And my childhood dream? Performing live on Saturday Night Live, mark my words, it’s going to happen!
Monika: Would you say you’re a happy woman now?
Kayhar: Absolutely. Happiness is living authentically.
Monika: Kayhar, it was an absolute pleasure speaking with you. I hope that, just like in Fix You, “lights will guide you home and ignite your bones.” But let’s be clear—no one needs to “fix” you. You’re already amazing just as you are!
Kayhar: Thank you again, Monika. The pleasure was all mine.
Monika: Today, I have the distinct honor of speaking with Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad, a trailblazing physician, sexologist, and professor of sexology. She is one of Norway’s most prominent transgender figures, advocating tirelessly for trans rights and visibility. Beyond her academic and medical contributions, she has been a political candidate for the Liberal Party and a television personality, competing in the reality show Skal vi danse in 2007. Her life and journey were also the subject of the acclaimed 2002 documentary All About My Father (Alt om min far), directed by her son, Even Benestad. Esther, welcome, and thank you for joining me today!
Esben Esther: Hello Monika! Thank you for including me in your wonderful series of interviews.
Monika: You have authored several important textbooks on transgender issues, including Kjønn i bevegelse (2001), Transseksualisme - hvor går vi og hvor står vi? (2002), Transekjønn og diagnoser (2004), and Sexologi i Praksis (2006). How has your own lived experience influenced your academic and literary work on gender and sexuality?
Esben Esther: For a long time, traditional therapeutic thinking emphasized neutrality, discouraging therapists from “over-identifying” with their clients. This led to the belief that homosexual individuals shouldn’t provide therapy for other homosexuals and that trans professionals shouldn’t work with trans clients. Interestingly, there was never a ban on heterosexual therapists working with heterosexual clients. Over time, this perspective has shifted, allowing personal experience to be recognized as a valuable professional asset. My own journey has reinforced my belief that “the personal IS the professional.”
Elsa and I, how to pose when Christmas
cards need Seasonal illustration.
Our niece Hanne in the middle.
Monika: In your studies and work, which aspects of transgender experiences have particularly captured your interest?
Esben Esther: I am deeply interested in all aspects of transgender life, from daily challenges to surgical advancements. However, I have increasingly moved away from the “wrong body” and “passing” narratives, as they often frame trans identities in limiting ways. Instead, I advocate for a broader understanding of gender expression that respects how individuals perceive themselves. Another crucial area of focus is sexuality, which is often overlooked in trans discussions.
Monika: How would you define your own gender identity and journey
Esben Esther: I wouldn’t describe it as a “case” but rather as the life path of a transgifted individual who, from an early stage, embraced and took pride in her gendered talents.
Monika: Have you ever considered undergoing a full medical transition?
Esben Esther: To me, any transition that leads a transgifted individual to a place of comfort and authenticity is a “full” transition. While I considered further medical steps, the personal and professional costs outweighed the benefits. Ultimately, I feel that my life would not have improved by going further.
Monika: The Justice Department initially refused to issue identity documents under the name Esther Pirelli, but the police later provided unofficial papers. That must have been a rather surreal experience.
Esther: Yes, it was! The justice department refused, and when I asked why, they replied that it would be too expensive and that it would threaten safety. I asked them: How come? They replied that they had closed the case.
A local policeman certified on a piece of paper with two pictures that both of them depicted the same individual: Me. He received a reprimand, and I got a piece of paper that amongst other accomplishments, got me out of Poland. Bureaucrats possess a very dangerous combination of tons of power with a lack of insights.
Twice I have been seriously catwalking
for Natalia Leikis, this is a charity
show for the Unicef.
Monika: What are the key transgender advocacy issues in Norway today?
Esben Esther: The health care offers to transgifted in Norway have been far away from ideal. Only one institution lead by a totally non-empathic psychiatrist rules over the fate of those who experience themselves as transsexuals.
Those who don’t, but nevertheless are in need of hormones and/or surgery, get nothing. Finally, the government officials have realized this unworthy state of affairs. I have been pointed out as one expert to be part of an official multidisciplinary group that is set out to change conditions for the better.
Monika: You have been involved in politics through the Liberal Party. Do you believe that transgender women can create meaningful change in the political landscape?
Esben Esther: I think all individuals of difference do make a difference when they find pride in themselves and are open in public life.
Monika: What do you think about transgender stories which have been featured in media, films, books, etc. so far?
Esben Esther: My son made a movie “All about my father” (“Alt om min far”)– a documentary that has earned more prizes than any other Norwegian movie. The film presents a son’s, a daughter’s, and a family’s perspective. I am not sheltered. I like that. I also like movies that depict transpeople as resources, not victims.
Monika: How do you recollect working with your son? Were you satisfied with the film?
Esben Esther: I am proud and happy with it, even though he at times portrays me in non-sympathetic ways. Our relation has always been very good, hence working together was filled with anticipation and pleasure.
Monika: Trans rights are often linked with broader LGBTQ+ advocacy. Do you think the trans community is sufficiently prioritized within the movement?
Esben Esther: At least in Norway it seems that we are, but we constantly need to educate our fellow queers.
Elsa and I, we travel a lot, ordinarily as part of the job.
10 days in Cape Town did us very well.
Monika: Is there anyone in Norway’s transgender movement who could be compared to Harvey Milk in terms of activism?
Esben Esther: Maybe me.
Monika: What was the most challenging part of coming out?
Esben Esther: My fears of being trashed. I believe that honesty and pride silenced those who might have tried.
Monika: In 2007, you competed on Skal vi danse (Shall We Dance), but you were eliminated after four episodes. You suggested that your transgender identity played a role in your early exit. How did that experience feel?
Esben Esther: That was the hardest task ever! To face a great audience when I was dancing in heels with a woman. Never ever was I more helplessly on display. It was truly hard but had it not been for the judges who named me number one out of the contest, the whole ordeal would have been a pleasure. The support from the Norwegian audience was remarkable.
Dancegirl and transgirl – for my
daughter Elisabeth's annual "Glamour night"
- open for all kinds of glamour.
Monika: Love plays an important role in everyone’s life. What does it mean to you?
Esben Esther: I have been married for 25 years to Elsa the great love of my life! Before that I was married 16 years with the mother of my two children: Elisabeth and Even, Tomas, Elsa’s son has entered my life as a third child. Together we have 4 grandchildren. The two oldest turned seven in 2013.
Monika: Do you enjoy fashion? What styles do you gravitate toward?
Esben Esther: I love the female body lines, and I am happy to see myself displaying lines like that. I have had many dresses, skirts, and blouses made for me. My favorite designer is Natalia Leikis, who has her studio in Oslo. People describe me as discretely elegant with some flamboyant inclinations.
Monika: Many transgender women eventually write memoirs. Have you considered documenting your journey in a book?
Esben Esther: Yes!
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman today?
Esben Esther: I am not a man, not a woman, but a very happy transperson!
Monika: Esther, thank you for the interview!
All the photos: courtesy of Esben Esther Pirelli Benestad.
Monika: oday, I have the absolute pleasure of speaking with Gina Leigh Duncan—an accomplished businesswoman, fierce transgender advocate, and all-around powerhouse! She has worn many hats: President of Orlando’s Gay Chamber of Commerce, former candidate for Commissioner of Orange County, Florida, senior manager at Wells Fargo, and currently, a Board Member at Equality Florida. Gina, welcome!
Gina: Hello, Monika, so nice to talk to you.
Monika: You’re a force in politics! Do you think transgender women can truly shake things up and make a real impact in the political world?
Gina: I do. While I think it critically important that we know the issues, have solutions, can be great communicators to motivate our constituents, we also bring an inherent acceptance of being transgender by gaining someone’s vote. We have an extra layer of objection to overcome. We might align with a voter in every area, yet they do not understand transgender people. I felt I just had to work that much harder and be that much sharper on the issues. Once in office, that thinking would continue with me. Work harder, be sharper, never let being transgender be an issue. Let it be an asset. I would want to use my office as a platform to educate people on what it means to be transgender.
Monika: Today it is my pleasure and honor to interview Jennifer Leitham, an American musician and double bass player, an inspirational and talented woman, subject of an award-winning documentary "I Stand Corrected"(2012), known for her 2006 album “The Real Me”. Hello Jennifer!
Jennifer: Hi Monika, Thank you for asking me to do this interview. I hope that my English will translate in an accurate manner, it can be an inaccurate language.
Monika: How did you start your musical career?
Jennifer: I didn’t have any musicians in my family, but I always was curious about music when I was growing up. The Beatles were probably my first musical influence. I was also intrigued by the music of Vince Guaraldi from the Peanuts holiday cartoons.
My first formal introduction to music came in high school when I joined the chorus. It revealed an aptitude for music and also was a great lesson in ear training. I sang some solos with the Chorale and that brought the attention of some of the rock musicians in my school.
I had always fooled around on a little toy guitar, playing along with my records, mostly melodies and bass lines. That ability translated to electric bass combined with my incredibly high singing voice made me a valuable band member.
Monika: Today, I am both honored and thrilled to interview Janice Covington Allison, a prominent transgender rights activist from Charlotte, North Carolina. Janice has been a well-known advocate for transgender rights since the 1980s and has made significant contributions to the LGBTQ+ community. She was the first openly transgender woman from North Carolina to serve as a delegate at the 2012 Democratic National Convention. Additionally, she founded TransCarolina, an organization that not only addressed workplace rights but also served as a social group for transgender individuals. Janice, welcome!
Janice: Hello Monika!
Monika: To start, could you share a bit about your career journey and how you got involved in advocacy?
Janice: I have always loved working with my hands and I have owned my own successful business since 1983 as a building contractor, mostly doing historical and residential renovations.
Monika: Today I have the pleasure of interviewing Maria Rose Löwe Haaning, a Danish young lady setting an example for young transgender women all over the world. She is the youngest Danish transgender girl to undergo an MTF transition. In addition, Maria is the author of "Ham og Mig" (2012) and is known for her participation in many media interviews in Denmark. Hello Maria!
Maria: Hi Monika!
Monika: Could you say a few words about your career so far?
Maria: Well, I am still very young so my career is still in progress, but so far I have done numerous TV appearances on Danish television. I am giving lectures across the country about my personal transition story and I have published my own autobiography titled 'Ham og Mig', which in English translates into 'Him and I'. The book tells the story of how I became the youngest Danish person to ever go through a complete MTF transition.
Monika: Today, I have the pleasure and honor of interviewing Rachel Pollack, an acclaimed science fiction author, comic book writer, and Tarot grandmaster. Born in Brooklyn, New York, Rachel has made a significant impact in literature and spirituality. She graduated from New York University and Claremont Graduate University and has built a legacy through her writing, exploring themes of identity, mythology, and the mystical arts. She is best known for her novels Unquenchable Fire (1989), Godmother Night (1997), and Temporary Agency (1995), as well as her groundbreaking work on Tarot. Rachel, welcome to the interview!
Rachel: Hi, Monika! Thanks for doing this. It’s always great to have thoughtful conversations.
Monika: Many people associate Tarot card reading with a mysterious woman in flowing robes, leaning over a small table in a candlelit room, foretelling impending doom. How accurate is this image compared to the reality of Tarot reading?
Rachel: There are always people who do this sort of theatrical style, and always some who want to scare their clients. But most modern readers are serious about interpreting the cards to benefit people. Much of modern reading is psychological, about character as much as events. And there is a strong spiritual component. Many people find that Tarot readings help them reflect deeply on their own lives and choices.
Monika: Today, I have the pleasure of speaking with Bianca Lewis, a video blogger from South Africa who has been sharing her transition journey on YouTube. Bianca’s life story is nothing short of extraordinary, she has lived through apartheid, battled bacterial meningitis, overcome paralysis, and navigated war zones. Now, she’s here to share her experiences with us. Welcome, Bianca!
Bianca: Hi Monika, and everybody, glad to share my views with you today. I hope my story resonates with those who need it most.
Monika: Could you introduce yourself to our readers?
Bianca: Well – I am definitely not defined by transition. Being female has always been a part of me that has experienced amazing journeys. I grew up in Apartheid South Africa, experienced bacterial meningitis with coma, then paralysis in a wheelchair for a year, love, divorce, death of almost all my family, the Middle East, war – and that is just the start of what has made me, well… me. Each challenge has shaped me into the strong woman I am today.
Monika: What inspired you to share your transition journey on YouTube? Bianca: For many years just reading and seeing women who had the courage to transition helped me to see tomorrow. I thought I would try and do the same. Not very selflessly though, I have written an interesting book of my life story that I hope will inspire others to reach for their dreams. YouTube is a platform to create some awareness for the book before it is published – it will be virtually free as an ebook early 2014. I also hope that my experiences can offer guidance to those still contemplating their own journey. Monika: Where are you in your transition journey now? Bianca: My transition is over and it will forever continue. Sorry – I know I am difficult. Socially, professionally and intimately I have been accepted by everybody as nothing but a woman for quite some time. But learning 40 years of life experience so quickly means I will playing catch up in some ways for the rest of my life. Physically – let's say I am "near" the end.
Enjoying my new femininity - going out
to the famous Tel Aviv nightlife.
Monika: Are you happy with the effects of hormone therapy? Bianca: I honestly expected to take a pill and see Pamela Anderson in the mirror the next day. The effects of hormones (starting at 39 years old) were very limited physically. Emotionally, it made me much calmer, but physically? Thank goodness for surgery! Despite the limited changes, I wouldn’t trade the emotional stability and inner peace for anything. Monika: Could you share some memories from your childhood? When did you first realize you were not meant to be a boy? Bianca: Boy? Man? What were those? From my earliest memory, I never related to them! I felt like an outsider in my own skin, always wishing I could be like the other girls. Monika: Many transgender women recall school and university as difficult periods due to discrimination. Was this the case for you? Bianca: Really tough question because I remember how hard – and unique each stage of life was. From kindergarten through professional life, it was always an immense struggle to get through the day. I suppose adolescence was most torturous simply because I was a heterosexual female who had no way to discover or develop this, talk about all sorts of confusion! I often felt like I was living someone else’s life, just waiting for the day I could finally be me. Monika: Did you have any transgender role models who inspired you?
Bianca: Before I transitioned I certainly admired Lynn Conway, Andrea James, Marcy Bowers, and the usual suspects as great role models for transition who have given so much to the community.
As I transitioned though I discovered that these women are all so much more than transition and my life is unique so my role models shifted away from gender toward human rights etc. more generally. I learned that identity is just one part of a much bigger picture of personal fulfillment. Monika: What was the most challenging part of coming out?
Bianca: Not to be funny, but when you’ve lived as a middle-aged, 125kg bodybuilder, married to a woman with a child, and seen as a 'tough guy,' coming out is difficult in every possible way. That’s why I always say, transition is such a hard journey that a person should only travel this path if there is no choice. If you arrive at the other side of the gender spectrum in one piece, it is truly amazing though. Despite all the hardships, the freedom to be my true self has been worth it. Monika: How do you perceive the current situation for transgender women in the U.S. and globally?
Bianca: As I have been in the States mainly on business, I have never had to deal with American society's views on transgenderism.
My passion: eating! This Mexican restaurant was
part of a fabulous night.
I will say this, though: All transgender persons want is to be accepted as a human being and EVERY Western society I have experienced have a long way to go. The fight for equality and dignity continues, but I remain hopeful that progress will be made. Monika: We are seeing more transgender women in the public eye, from film directors to musicians and models. Do you think this trend will continue? Bianca: Of course. As the stigma attached to being transgender diminishes, more and more of us will be willing to step into the limelight. It’s an interesting subject that deserves more attention because many trans individuals achieve great things despite immense internal struggles. When they make peace with themselves, their true ability is unleashed, and I expect more and more great trans people to come into the foreground. We are truly unique in our ability to look hardship in the face and come out on top. The visibility of trans people in all fields gives hope to those still in the shadows. Monika: Are you involved in politics or any advocacy work? Do you think transgender women can influence political change?
Bianca: I believe anybody can make a difference in politics. I do believe that we need more representation in governments as we are still seen as "noise from the side" instead of a valuable contributor to society with a worthy voice. I live in Israel – so being active in politics would usually require a language that is often beyond me – but I am happy to make a noise! Monika: Do you enjoy fashion? What are your go-to outfits, and do you follow any particular trends?
Bianca: I had my Cinderella time… Then I found that people actually stared at a 40-year-old in a tutu! I love clothes, shoes, and makeup. I am pretty senior at work, so usually get to do dress-up a bit – skirts, tights, and heels are usual. On the weekend I am happy in jeans and sneakers – my cool and ugly natural look!
I do not believe that we women drive as
badly as everybody tells me I do!
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants?
Bianca: For those that want and need it why not? They should have age categories though! Seeing a 60 year flaunt a newly surgically arranged body next to that gorgeous 17-year-old Thai beauty just seems bizarre at times. Let me say, that personally, I have missed the boat. Although my son does say that I look at least a year younger than I actually am. Monika: Are you involved with your local LGBT community?
Bianca: Not at all. I have met one or two trans girls by coincidence in the plastic surgery ward in the hospital, but I transitioned with friends I had long before and had to educate them. They have stood by me and are truly precious. As far as gay goes in the "LGBT" – well one of these really great friends (and one of my very dearest friends in the whole world) is gay, does that count? Monika: Do you see marriage and family in your future? How important is love in your life?
Bianca: Firstly I have a 12-year-old son who is dear, precious, and my whole existence. Honestly, I would love to find love though, get married, and have somebody hold and love me. But beware, I am stubborn and do not compromise very well. Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who fear transitioning due to discrimination or hate?
Bianca: Again, the test is not fear – this is normal. The true recommendation is really whether you really have any other real option? If your essence is the opposite of what people see – truly – you will not have a choice and those fears will be overcome 1 day at a time – experience by experience. The people who love you will always love you… but this is easy to say now! The key is to find strength in yourself and surround yourself with supportive people who see and respect the real you.
Monika: What are your current goals, and where do you see yourself in the next 5-7 years?
Bianca: I really hope to stabilize my life. It has been such a dynamic and unsettling journey – peace would be a great gift to me. If I can bring joy and inspire others from my experiences, this would also give me great pleasure. In 5-7 years, I hope to have a stable life and be planning for an even brighter future. Perhaps by then, I will have written another book or taken on new challenges that help uplift others.
Monika: Would you say you are a happy woman today?
Bianca: No. I can say that I am happy being accepted as a woman now. My happiness does not come from being me (although this helps a hell of a lot); it comes from being a good parent and achieving my goals in life. Transition is but a part of it. Every day, I strive to find deeper contentment and new reasons to smile.
Monika: Bianca, it was a pleasure speaking with you. Thank you for sharing your story!
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