Today, Ashley shares her journey not to seek validation, but to offer hope. She speaks openly about the highs and lows of transition, the joy of watching her reflection finally mirror her soul, and the profound satisfaction of helping others who feel lost in their own journeys. A lover of EDM, anime, gaming, and fashion, Ashley brings a vibrant and multidimensional energy to everything she does. Whether she’s rocking out in her room or lifting others up online, she reminds us all that femininity is as much about compassion and courage as it is about eyeliner and soft skin. Fiercely passionate about transgender rights, mental health, and self-acceptance, Ashley dreams of becoming a gender therapist one day, someone who can say, “I’ve been there, and I understand.” In this intimate conversation, Ashley opens her heart to share the struggles, revelations, and triumphs that have shaped her journey. Her story is not just about becoming a woman, it’s about becoming herself, unapologetically.
Monika: Hi Ashley! I'm so glad we’re connecting today. I’ve been following your YouTube channel and really admire the way you share your journey, it’s so inspiring and honest.
Ashley: Hello, and thanks for having me! I’m excited to be here and share a bit more of my story.
Monika: Let’s start with a little introduction for our readers. How would you describe yourself and the passions that drive you?
Ashley: Sure thing! I am 23 years old, half Russian and half Ukrainian. My hobbies include mixing and producing EDM music, playing guitar, doing yoga, and running. I’m a “gamer girl”, I mostly play RPGs, MMOs, sci-fi and fantasy games. I also love anime! My top three are Cowboy Bebop, FLCL, and Samurai Champloo.
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| MTF Transition Timeline (YouTube) |
I have been on hormones for one year, and I would like to reach out to the LGBT community and help in any way I can. I’ve been through a lot of pain during my transition, and I want to support others so they can get through it and feel proud of who they are. The transgender community has a 41% suicide rate, and I think that enough is enough! If I can help just 1% of that 41%, then I will be happy. Helping others gives my journey meaning and reminds me why I keep moving forward.
Monika: What inspired you to open up about your transition journey on YouTube and turn it into something so public?
Monika: What inspired you to open up about your transition journey on YouTube and turn it into something so public?
Ashley: Well, at one point in my life, before my transition, around age 21, I felt very bad about the whole thing, like I was a freak for even thinking of transitioning. It got so bad that I almost committed suicide, but in that moment, something hit me, and I thought to myself, “How many others have done this? Could I be the solution instead of the problem?”
From then on, I started my transition, and after a while, I began trying to help people instead of adding to the problem. My life changed in many positive ways, and I felt better than I ever thought I could. After about a year on HRT, my closest friend Puppy (nickname) kept pestering me over and over to “Make a YouTube, girl!!!” and many others asked me as well, until I finally said, “Fine, just stop bugging me about it!!” And so, here I am now. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve made, because the messages I get from people who feel less alone mean the world to me.
Monika: Where would you say you are on your transition journey at this point?
Ashley: I am currently 1 year and 3 months into my transition. It’s been a challenging yet incredibly rewarding experience, and I’ve grown so much emotionally and mentally during this time.
Monika: How do you feel about the changes you've experienced from hormone therapy so far?
Ashley: Very satisfied!! I couldn’t be happier! My skin, hair, and nails have gotten softer, hair growth has slowed down tremendously, I’ve gained “girl fat” everywhere so my body looks more girly, and even my mood and thinking have changed a bit, oddly, but in a good way. It’s like my inner and outer selves are finally beginning to align.
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| Rocking out in her room. |
Monika: What was your childhood like, and when did you first begin to sense that your gender identity didn’t align with being a boy?
Ashley: My family came from Russia to Washington State when I was only 1 year old. They were very religious Christians and didn’t tolerate anything to do with the LGBT community, they thought it was all wrong and sick, and believed those people needed help.
I had always felt different from all the boys when I was young. I never wanted to do sports or chase girls like they did. I didn’t like to gossip about girls and how cute they were, and things like that. Sometimes my friends would say, “So-and-so is getting so cute now! I would love to go on a date with her!” and all I was thinking was, “I wonder how she gets her makeup like that…”
I knew this wasn’t normal for a boy, but at around 8 years old, I started messing with my mother’s wigs and makeup. It made me feel at peace, and I felt more relaxed and myself for some reason, but I always thought it was so wrong! (Probably because of my parents and pastor beating it into my head all the time!) Looking back, I realize that those early feelings were clear signs of my true self trying to emerge, even in an environment that made me afraid of it.
Monika: Many transgender girls find school, college, or university to be the most challenging and traumatic period due to discrimination and misunderstanding. Was that your experience as well?
Ashley: I kept to myself for most of those years and felt pressured not to transition or act on my feelings. But in secret, I tried different ways of transitioning, like eating foods with natural estrogen and even trying to take menopause pills for women, hoping to make a change. However, it never really did anything, and I wouldn’t advise it to anyone. Looking back, those years were difficult but also helped me build resilience and determination to live authentically.
Monika: Do you have any transgender role models who inspire you or whose journey you admire?
Ashley: Grishno from YouTube is an awesome trans role model! She has such a great attitude about everything, and I wish more trans women would be like her. Seeing her confidence and positivity has really motivated me to embrace my own path.
Watching her videos helped me understand that it’s okay to be vulnerable and still be strong. She doesn’t sugarcoat the challenges, but she also reminds us of the joy and beauty in living authentically. I admire how she uses her platform to educate and uplift others while staying true to herself. Her openness and humor made me feel less alone, and I’m incredibly thankful for that kind of visibility.
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| MTF Transition Timeline (YouTube) |
Monika: What was the most difficult part of coming out as transgender for you?
Ashley: The fear and uncertainty, I thought I was going to turn into a monster. I remember being so frightened! But now, looking back, I am so glad that I followed my heart. It truly taught me the importance of being true to myself, no matter how scary it seems at first.
Monika: How do you perceive the current situation for transgender women in the United States?
Ashley: I think things are slowly getting better here in the USA, but I really dislike the healthcare system for trans people. We have to spend tons of money on therapists and doctors to tell us what we already know, and then wait for answers that sometimes take up to a year of precious time. Sometimes they even deny you your medication, and I think this is so wrong! They need to create a better healthcare system for trans people and stop treating us like second-class citizens. There’s still a long way to go, but raising awareness and pushing for change is crucial.
Monika: Nowadays, we see more transgender women stepping into the spotlight, gaining recognition as celebrities or leaders in various fields, like Lana Wachowski in film directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Have you noticed this growing visibility and what does it mean to you?
Ashley: Yes, and I get very happy every time I see this happen, it’s about time! We should all be able to shine in the spotlight no matter our gender or sexual orientation. Increased representation helps break down stereotypes and inspires others to live authentically.
Monika: Are you involved in any political activism or advocacy? Have you participated in lobbying efforts, and do you believe transgender women can influence political change?
Ashley: I only started my transition a year ago and am about to start college, so I’m very busy at the moment, but I try to help the cause in any way possible, answering trans-related questions, making YouTube videos about trans issues, and things like that. Transgender women ARE women, so I don’t see why they can’t impact politics just like any other women. I believe that visibility and voices from the community are essential to creating meaningful progress.
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| Closer and closer. |
Monika: How do you feel about fashion? What styles or colors do you usually prefer, and are there any particular trends or designers that inspire you?
Ashley: I love fashion! I have a bit of an eclectic wardrobe; I like a lot of black with spurts of colors like rainbows and things like that. I couldn’t really pinpoint my fashion, sometimes I’ll dress very girly, sometimes not so much. It just depends on my mood, and that is always changing! I love Forever 21 and Hot Topic, Pacsun and Zumiez, also American Eagle and Hollister (I know, weird mix, right?). Fashion is a fun way for me to express different sides of myself.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants and the impact they have on the community?
Ashley: I think they are awesome! Women have pageants all the time, so why can’t trans women? I think it helps the community a lot by showing that you can be beautiful even if you are trans. These pageants also create a space where trans women can celebrate their identity and gain visibility.
They offer an empowering platform to showcase confidence, creativity, and strength, which is so important in a world that often tries to silence us. Seeing trans women on stage, proud and radiant, sends a powerful message to young people who might be questioning their own identity. It says, "You are valid. You belong." Beyond the glamor, these events can spark conversations about acceptance and representation, and that ripple effect can lead to real social change.
Monika: How connected are you to your local LGBT community, and in what ways do you get involved?
Ashley: I try to think more globally. I live around the Seattle area, which was recently rated the #1 most LGBT-friendly place. I do sometimes help trans people nearby when I can, but like I said, I try to reach out to everyone instead of just a small pocket of the world. Being part of both local and broader communities helps me make a bigger impact.
I believe online platforms and social media allow us to build bridges beyond borders, and I use those tools to connect with people from all walks of life. Whether it's answering messages from someone just starting their journey or sharing my own experiences publicly, I try to be a source of encouragement. Still, I’m grateful for the strong local support system we have here, it reminds me that change truly begins at home.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who feel afraid of starting their transition or worried about facing discrimination and hatred?
Ashley: Trust your heart! Don’t listen to other people’s rude remarks, they’re only showing you how unkind they can be, so don’t even bother replying. Just keep walking with your head held high. If you’re afraid, seek a local gender therapist; they can really help you feel better about the whole process and show you it’s okay to have these feelings. Remember, you’re not alone, and there is a whole community ready to support you.
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| MTF Transition Timeline (YouTube) |
It might feel overwhelming at first, but every step you take toward living authentically is worth it. Surround yourself with people who uplift you, even if that means finding your support system online. Be patient with yourself, transitioning is a journey, not a race. Celebrate the small victories, because they build the foundation for a stronger, happier you.
Monika: What are your current goals, and where do you envision yourself in the next five to seven years?
Ashley: I want to go back to school and maybe study psychology and become a gender therapist. I think trans people would listen more to a therapist who has gone through the experience personally than to someone who has only read about it in books and is just trying to understand it.
I have heard stories from many of my friends saying they were denied HRT because they chose not to have SRS. I think this is very wrong. Some people just don’t want to take such drastic measures for many, many reasons, including fear of surgery, hoping for a better procedure in the future, and financial issues. I want to be part of the change that creates more understanding and flexibility in the system.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Ashley: Definitely! I am happier than I have ever been! I have stopped abusing drugs and alcohol, started exercising regularly, and also began helping many people around the world with their issues. I truly feel I have made a great decision that will make me happy throughout my whole life. I wake up each day feeling more hopeful and proud of how far I’ve come.
Monika: Ashley, thank you so much for sharing your story with us, it's been a real pleasure speaking with you!
Ashley: No problem! I had a great time! I hope my words can help inspire others who are just beginning their journey.
All the photos: courtesy of Ashley Jones.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
