At just 24, Jordyn, known to many online as JordynJordynJordynS, is already making her mark as a vibrant voice within the transgender community. A soft-spoken storyteller with a determined heart, Jordyn has spent the last few years courageously documenting her gender transition on YouTube. What began as a quiet gesture of solidarity, hoping to help others as trans vloggers once helped her, has blossomed into a platform where she shares both the triumphs and tribulations of living authentically. Jordyn’s journey, though deeply personal, echoes the story of many transgender individuals: an early sense of difference, years of silence, and eventually, the powerful act of coming out. Through it all, she has shown grace, honesty, and resilience.
Now a graduate of Loyola Marymount University’s film school, Jordyn dreams of one day directing her own projects, films that center queer and trans lives with nuance, compassion, and truth. She speaks with refreshing candor about hormones, gender confirmation surgery, body image, and the emotional terrain of transition. Her vulnerability is not weakness but strength, a gentle defiance against shame and invisibility. As Miss September in the Angels of Change calendar, and a runway model for their show, she stands proudly among those reshaping how the world sees trans youth: not as objects of curiosity or pity, but as radiant, creative, empowered individuals. Whether she’s behind a camera, speaking to her YouTube audience, or walking the runway in her future-director ensemble, Jordyn embodies the quiet courage of someone learning to be herself in full light. It’s an honor to share her story.
Monika: Today I’m joined by Jordyn, a vibrant young video blogger who shares her transition journey on YouTube. Jordyn, welcome! It’s great to have you here.
Jordyn: Hi Monika! Thank you so much for having me. I’m really excited to chat with you!
Monika: Let’s start with a little introduction, can you tell us a bit about who you are and what you're passionate about?
Jordyn: Sure! Well, I’m 24 years old, and I’ve been transitioning full-time for about three years so far. I’m also pursuing a career in the film and TV industry, hoping to direct my own projects someday that focus on trans* and LGBT issues.
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| Jordyn looking through a pretend camera viewfinder. |
Jordyn: For me, watching YouTube videos of other trans* individuals talking about their experiences was really helpful when I was starting my transition and hadn’t met anyone else yet who was trans*. So I decided to share my own experiences as well, in case they might be helpful for someone else the way they were for me.
Monika: How would you describe your current stage in the transition process?
Jordyn: I feel very grateful and fortunate to be almost at the end of my transition actually, at least for all intents and purposes. I’ve come out to all of my friends and family, had my name changed legally, and updated all of my documents. I’ve been taking hormones and living as myself full-time for almost three years, and I had GRS at the end of 2012. It’s been, without a doubt, the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life, but overall, it’s absolutely been worth it.
Monika: How do you feel about the physical changes you've experienced through hormone therapy?
Jordyn: In general, I would say the answer is yes. I definitely haven’t had as many changes from hormones as I might’ve liked, but then I’m sure a lot of people who happen to be trans* might say the same thing, and it’s certainly true that most people, no matter how they identify, have something about the way their body looks that they wish they could change (for me, it's mainly the size of my hips compared to the size of my shoulders and my ribcage. Not necessarily specific parts of my body, maybe, but sort of the overall proportion, I guess.)
I’ve also had a bad habit throughout my transition of comparing the changes I’ve gone through to those that others around me have gone through, which, as I’ve found anyway, isn’t necessarily a healthy or realistic thing to do, since it’s really your own genetics that end up playing the biggest role in determining what changes you’re likely to receive from hormones more than anything else, if that makes sense.
Monika: Hormone therapy and surgery can bring very different outcomes. What’s your personal experience with both?
Jordyn: To put it another way, just because two people might be taking the same hormones at the same dose doesn't necessarily mean that they’re going to see the same changes (and it can be really frustrating and even upsetting sometimes if you try to predict what your results might be solely based on other people’s results). Besides the fact that I maybe didn't always have a realistic sense of what to expect from hormones though, they’ve definitely helped me feel more comfortable with the way my body looks, and GRS absolutely has as well.
As I’ve mentioned in some of my videos, GRS definitely has had its drawbacks, including the fact that I still have pretty visible scars from it (even though it’s been well over a year since I had it), having to dilate down there can be really annoying and uncomfortable, and I also had a complication a few weeks after having my surgery that literally almost killed me. Not having to worry or feel dysphoric about that part of my body anymore though has been really amazing and, at least in that sense, the positives have definitely been well worth the negatives for sure.
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Angels of Change 2014: Jordy (Ms. September) (YouTube) |
Monika: What was your childhood like, and when did you first realize that you didn’t identify as a boy?
Jordyn: For me, actually, it wasn’t necessarily a question of whether I should or shouldn't be a boy, but that deep down I knew I wasn’t a boy, if that makes sense. To go back to the very beginning, I first knew that there was something “different” about me maybe when I was about four years old, although I couldn’t really figure out what it was at the time (I didn’t even know what the word “transgender” meant until I was probably 13 or 14).
Until I was around five-ish, I’d always ask for girls’ toys for my birthday and for holidays (which my family would actually give me, at least for a few years anyway), and I got along with girls at school much better than boys. But somehow, there was still a part of me that felt ashamed and embarrassed for feeling the way I did about my gender identity, and I felt like I was almost being pulled in two different directions on some level. On the one hand, I knew I wasn’t a boy, but on the other hand, I didn’t necessarily feel comfortable with the idea of living as a girl, or I guess I felt like my family wouldn't be supportive of me if I did.
Monika: Once you started to question your gender identity, how did you begin navigating those feelings?
Jordyn: As a result of all that, I didn’t end up saying anything to anyone about how I felt until I finally told my mom when I was maybe 15 or 16, but she more or less thought I must be just going through a phase of some kind (which, looking back on it, I honestly can’t really blame her for since I never really mentioned or did much of anything to show how I was feeling from the time I was about five until the 10-ish years later when I first told her). After her reaction, though, I felt even more embarrassed than I did before, and for a long time after that I really tried to just ignore how I was feeling and do my best to be comfortable with how people saw me, even if I knew they weren’t seeing the real me.
Eventually, I started wearing girls' clothes off and on in order to keep exploring the idea of whether or not I should transition, at least on some level, but only when I wasn’t in school and when I was going to places where I knew I wouldn’t see any of my family or my friends. At that point, I was pretty sure that I wanted to go through with it, but I wasn’t really sure exactly where to start (I didn’t know anyone else who happened to be trans* or even know anyone else who might’ve known someone who was trans* or even LGBT), and I was petrified of the idea that my family and friends wouldn't be supportive of me if I did.
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| Jordyn's page as Miss September in the 2014 Angels of Change. |
Monika: What was the turning point that gave you the courage to come out and begin living openly?
Jordyn: When I was in college though (I went to film school at Loyola Marymount University), I started to realize that I just couldn't keep living a lie any longer, for lack of a better description I guess, and I finally came out for good in 2010 during my junior year. It definitely took people some getting used to, some longer than others, but both my family and my friends ended up being much more supportive than I had worried for so long they might not be, and a big part of me still really regrets not coming out to them sooner and not starting to transition full-time until after I graduated from college. Even still though, things are infinitely better now than they were before I started transitioning, and I feel incredibly lucky to have had such a relatively smooth transition.
Monika: Are there any transgender role models who inspire you or whose journeys you admire?
Jordyn: Kim Petras (who is a German singer and songwriter) has been really inspirational for me since she always seems like a really cool, down-to-earth, and talented person, and she never lets the fact that she happens to be trans* interfere with her life or get in the way of her following her passion for music. Bamby Salcedo (who is a project coordinator for the transgender programs at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles and also an incredible activist within the trans* community) is also truly amazing and one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever had the privilege of getting to know. I absolutely can’t say enough about her or all the activism work she does, both for trans* youth and the trans* community in general. She’s awesome!
Monika: What was the most difficult part of coming out for you?
Jordyn: By far, it was overcoming my own fears about how other people might react and trusting that things would, in fact, work out okay (at least eventually) if I put my own need to feel comfortable and happy with myself, and with the way others see me, ahead of what people’s reactions might be if I came out to them. Like I said, in hindsight, I really wish I could’ve somehow found the courage to come out earlier than I did (it’s probably the single biggest regret I’ve ever had so far in my life).
But I think after being so afraid to tell people for such a long time, it came to the point that I was both afraid to start transitioning if my family wouldn't be supportive, yet I also felt I couldn’t keep not living as myself, even if living as myself meant risking my family and friends’ support. I was basically afraid to make a decision either way, whether to come out or not. I feel so incredibly grateful, though, to have the support that I do from my family and friends and that things have worked out for the best (particularly considering I wasn’t always sure they would), even though in the end I might have come out later than I would’ve wanted to.
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| Jordyn walking the runway in her future profession outfit during the 2014 Angels of Change runway show. |
Monika: In recent years, we’ve seen a growing number of transgender women coming out, some of them are now well-known public figures or even celebrities. For example, Lana Wachowski in film directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you see this as part of a broader trend?
Jordyn: There’s definitely still a massive amount of work that needs to be done to stop the discrimination, harassment, and overall disrespect that so many of us seem to receive on a daily basis simply for living our lives and being who we are. But at least in some ways, I think things are heading in the right direction as far as the trans* community overall gaining the equal rights that we deserve, and it’s been amazing to see trans* individuals like Lana Wachowski, Jenna Talackova, Kate Bornstein, Laura Jane Grace, Candis Cayne, and more recently Laverne Cox and Janet Mock becoming more and more recognized in the arts, media, and politics. If nothing else, their recognition is helping to bring much-needed visibility to the trans* community, overcome the misinformation and misconceptions about trans* individuals that have developed over the years, and illustrate the fact that all of us are perfectly normal people who have hopes and dreams just like anyone else.
Monika: Beauty pageants featuring transgender women have become more visible in recent years. What are your thoughts on their role and impact within the community?
Jordyn: I think transgender beauty pageants are helpful in bringing more attention to the trans* community overall, but because trans* people (and trans* women in particular) can often become over-sexualized in one way or another, pageants featuring trans* individuals at least have the potential, unfortunately, to do more harm than good if they aren’t handled in such a way that they send a positive message about the people they include, if that makes sense.
Having said that though, there are definitely a few pageants featuring trans* individuals that seem to be helping to make important changes both within and outside of the trans* community, including the Angels of Change program at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles (which I participated in last year, I was Miss September!!).
Monika: What makes the Angels of Change pageant stand out from other transgender-focused events?
Jordyn: It focuses specifically on trans* youth, but it strives to include models who are active and positive examples within the transgender programs at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles and also in their own communities as a means of challenging stereotypes about who trans* people are and illustrating how being transgender is a strength rather than a weakness (there’s also a calendar that includes each of the 12 models, one for each month). The program also functions as a fundraiser for various services offered through the transgender program at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, so it’s also a great cause in that way as well.
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| Jordyn taking a random selfie. |
Jordyn: I’m really interested in activism, and I’ve been trying my best to stay as involved with the trans* and LGBTQ+ community here in LA as I can, particularly in ways that also involve my passion for movies and TV (as I mentioned, my lifelong dream is to be able to direct my own projects that feature trans* and LGBTQ+ issues and have at least some activist elements as well).
I haven’t been able to be quite as involved lately, however, since I started a new job at the beginning of January as a post-production assistant for a show on USA Network (yay!), which has been really exciting, but it’s also meant that I’ve been less available to do very much in the way of activism. I was in a panel discussion at UCLA on February 21st as part of Angels of Change, and last year I volunteered with an organization called Gender Justice LA, which does grassroots community building to promote LGBTQ+ issues within the Los Angeles area. I was also the lead events coordinator for the Los Angeles Transgender Film Festival, which screens documentary and narrative films that focus on trans* themes and issues and works to promote the creative work of trans* filmmakers.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are hesitant to begin their transition due to fears of discrimination, hatred, or transitioning at a young age?
Jordyn: Speaking as someone who really regrets not having the courage to come out and start transitioning sooner (which I know on some level I shouldn't regret, since in any case I started hormones and living full-time when I was 21, but…), I would urge anyone who might be afraid of transitioning for any reason, including the fear of discrimination and disrespect simply for being trans*, to really think about why they want to transition in the first place (something I really, really wish I’d done more of early on in my transition).
Monika: Before you came out, what was your biggest concern or fear?
Jordyn: I think I was worried that, at least in a certain sense (and I’ve also heard this from other people I know who happen to be trans* as well), people would see me as being selfish for coming out and starting to transition, or that I was putting a burden on them, when, from their perspective, it would’ve just been easier for me to keep living the way I was, even if that would be impossibly difficult for me to do. (Fortunately, none of my friends or family have told me they felt that way when I came out to them, but I’ve definitely heard similar stories from what other people have told me they experienced when they came out.) It’s definitely not a good thing to be selfish, maybe, but I think a strong case can be made that coming out may be one important exception to this (and I’m sure that people who are in fact supportive don’t even feel like there’s an issue here in the first place).
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| "Angels" outfit while backstage at the 2014 Angels of Change runway show. |
Jordyn: At least from my experience, all of us need to transition for the benefit of our own happiness and well-being at the end of the day, and no matter what, we need to do whatever we can to never let our fears, particularly our fears about what other people may think of us, get in the way of doing whatever we need to do in order to live authentically as ourselves. Life is just way too short to spend any more time than you need to living as anyone but your real self.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Jordyn: All things considered, I can indeed say that I am a happy woman now (I’ve always been a woman, I just haven’t always been a happy woman, in case that needed any clarification!).
Looking back on it, it’s hard to believe it’s only been three years since I started transitioning and in some ways I even feel a little bit sad thinking about how I’m finally almost done with everything transition-wise, like I’ve reached the end of something that’s been such a big part of my life for so long.
When it comes down to it though, I know it’s much more of a beginning than an end and I’m finally able to start living the rest of my life as myself in a way that I’ve never been able to before.
Monika: Jordyn, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thanks a lot!
Jordyn: Thank you!
All the photos: courtesy of Jordyn.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
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