Kat Haché is a transgender woman, writer, and video blogger from East Tennessee who shares her transition journey on YouTube. Currently pursuing a master’s degree in archival studies, she is passionate about trans representation and preserving diverse transgender narratives. Kat began documenting her experience to challenge stereotypes and inspire others with authentic, personal storytelling. An advocate for self-acceptance and visibility, she has spoken out on trans issues through campus panels, articles, and educational workshops. She draws strength from her community and role models like Parker Molloy and Laura Jane Grace. With a love for fashion, a hopeful outlook, and a drive to follow her bliss, Kat continues to empower others by being unapologetically herself.
Monika: Hello, Kat. Thank you so much for joining me and the readers of my blog! How are you?
Kat: Hello Monika! Thanks for reaching out to interview me. I’m doing well and really looking forward to our conversation.
Monika: For those just getting to know you, could you tell us a bit about yourself?
Kat: Well, I am a transgender woman from East Tennessee. I’m currently in graduate school, working toward my master’s in archival studies. I’m especially interested in trans representation and the diversity of transgender narratives within archives. I believe our stories deserve to be preserved and made accessible for future generations.
Monika: What motivated you to share the details of your transition journey on YouTube?
Kat: Well, like I said, I’m interested in personal narratives. I think they are incredibly powerful and inspirational for others who have experienced, or are experiencing, similar things to the person sharing that story. For transgender people, we’re so often spoken about by society in less-than-flattering terms, rather than being given space to speak for ourselves, to shape our own narratives and identities in our own words.
With that video I really wanted to challenge the narrative that there was one crystallizing moment that I *knew* that I was trans, and instead I wanted to articulate how it was a gradual discovery and a gradual deconstruction of this imposed narrative of who I was supposed to be and this imposed dialogue that I had to use to describe myself and limit who I could be at any of the stages mentioned.
Monika: How would you describe where you are in your transition journey right now?
Kat: Well, I don’t think of transition in stages. I think of it as a journey, and I’m almost two years into that journey. I would like to have surgery one day. For now, I’m focusing on continuing my growth, both personally and academically, and embracing the progress I’ve already made.
Monika: How do you feel about the effects of hormone therapy so far, are you happy with the results?
Kat: I’m very satisfied with the results. When I first started HRT, I felt euphoric for about a month because things finally felt right. It was like my body finally felt the right fuel and it started to work properly. The euphoria faded, but it’s made me feel overall much more at ease with my body, and when I see myself in a mirror, at least clothed, I feel much more at home in my body. I see me, as I always should have been. It’s been one of the most affirming and transformative decisions I’ve ever made.
Monika: What was your childhood like, and when did you first realize that being a boy or man didn’t feel right for you?
Kat: My first memories of other children were them making fun of me and trying to harm me. I was bullied constantly, and my home life wasn’t great. We were totally poor and always moving, so I never had friends, really, outside of my video games and stuffed animals and books.
As for when I first felt it, it’s kind of like I said in my video, I never felt I was a boy or that I should be one. There was a period in college when I got super depressed and felt like I had to act like one, and I tried to “accept" that I was a man, but I wasn’t, and I couldn’t be, and it was overcompensation and awkwardness all around and it just left me feeling like I hated myself.
I had a genderqueer phase, and I’m not saying that it’s a phase for every genderqueer person, but for me it was a safe way of telling my parents that I never felt male, even if I didn’t quite know how to articulate that I was a woman at that stage in the game. Looking back, I can now see how much of my early discomfort was tied to gender dysphoria, even if I didn’t have the words for it at the time.
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| Courtesy of Kat Haché. |
Monika: For many transgender girls, school and university years can be especially traumatic due to bullying and discrimination. Was that your experience as well?
Kat: I was bullied and tormented by my peers. I was called a faggot, a pussy, and the guys I was forced to be around, the hegemonic masculinity that was forced upon them and me, really destroyed my self-esteem and made me feel like I had to be something I was not.
I just remember from the onset of puberty until I transitioned, I was someone else entirely. I felt out of control of my life and my identity, and it sucked. I had to unlearn all the abuse and degradation of my peers to build my self-esteem. It’s much better now, but it hasn’t been an easy road. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, and I now try to be a source of support for others going through the same struggles.
Monika: Do you have any transgender role models who inspire you or have influenced your journey?
Kat: My friend Parker Molloy is a huge inspiration to me and definitely a role model. Her writing is always on point, and she’s doing great things for trans representation in media.
Samantha Allen is a sister to me, she’s so incredibly smart and articulate and insightful, and I love her dearly. She’s my family, and even my parents welcome her as a part of our family.
Laura Jane Grace of Against Me! is also an inspiration to me because she’s badass, and I love that I can call her a friend of mine. I have so many awesome friends who are role models, like Zinnia Jones, Mattie Brice, and Lydia Neon...
And of course people like Laverne Cox and Carmen Carrera, who I haven’t met and made my friends... yet.
Having such powerful and diverse voices to look up to makes me feel more empowered to be myself and to contribute my voice to the broader trans community.
Monika: What was the most difficult part of your coming out journey?
Kat: Mostly, it was letting myself out of the cage of fear that I had kept myself in for so long. It’s kind of funny. I’d been out as bi for a while. My parents knew that I was since I was, oh, 19? Maybe even earlier. And I had told them about not feeling like a guy years before. I was just afraid of going all the way and letting myself fully be who I wanted to be. My parents, friends, coworkers, and colleagues have all been super accepting. I know I’m lucky, even though everyone deserves that, but yeah, the hardest part was getting over my own fear and conquering myself so that I could become myself. Ultimately, it was all about embracing my authenticity and giving myself permission to live it fully.
Monika: How would you describe the current situation for transgender women in your country?
Kat: Things aren’t great. Trans women, especially trans women of color, face higher rates of violence, sexual violence, less access to essential services, and fewer means of satisfying basic needs like shelter and healthcare. They’re imprisoned in men’s prisons and dehumanized daily. Even though things are grim at times, though, I remain optimistic. I am an optimistic person by nature. I have to be. It’s what drives me. I honestly believe and trust that things are getting better, and fast. I wouldn’t have anticipated when I was still a repressed undergraduate that I would have ever felt comfortable being who I am on a college campus, let alone a mere five or so years after I started to really admit that I was not a guy.
That said, a lot needs work. Trans representation is terrible. There aren’t many positive representations of trans people on television or in film. People in Hollywood and the entertainment industry in general don’t think that there are trans actors and actresses capable of representing themselves. Transphobic slurs are still totally acceptable and commonplace on primetime television. But I do believe that the more visibility we gain, the more the culture can shift.
Monika: We’re seeing more and more transgender women coming out, and unlike in previous years, many of them have achieved celebrity status or are well-known figures, like Lana Wachowski in filmmaking, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you see the same trend?
Kat: Yeah, I consider Laura to be a friend, and I’m super happy for her coming out. Geena Rocero, a really cool lady who does trans advocacy, just came out. Despite the challenges we face with regard to our representation, it’s becoming more and more acceptable to be transgender and visible. When high-profile people come out, it does so much for our community and helps others feel empowered to come out as well. It’s a huge step forward in showing the world that we are here and we’re not going anywhere.
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| Courtesy of Kat Haché. |
Monika: Are you involved in politics or any lobbying campaigns? Do you believe transgender women can make a difference in the political landscape?
Kat: I more or less abhor politics. I think our system is fundamentally broken. That said, things are still getting better. There’s growing pressure and a growing consensus that no one should be discriminated against or treated unfairly based on their gender identity. I personally am not involved in lobbying and am not active in politics, though if I see an opportunity to become more active, I would definitely take it. I think it’s crucial for all marginalized communities to find ways to influence change, and if I can contribute, I will.
Monika: Do you enjoy fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Are there any specific styles, colors, or trends you gravitate toward?
Kat: I love fashion. My normal style, at least this winter, has been this weird vagabond thing, with a blazer and fingerless gloves and plenty of cute scarves. I like androgyny and enjoy playing that up. Then, I have days where I look really femme. It all depends on the mood I’m in, but I like feeling badass and sexy and knowing that I look good. Fashion is a form of self-expression for me, and I enjoy experimenting with different looks to reflect how I feel in the moment.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants?
Kat: I don’t like some of the objectification that goes on in beauty pageants, but I think there is some sort of subversion in recognizing trans women as beautiful and for us as trans women to embrace our beauty. There’s this negative marker with being trans in our society that tells us we are ugly, untouchable, and unlovable, and people don’t recognize that we are beautiful. There should be more celebration of trans beauty, which is partially why I am interested in modeling, I would like to tell the world that despite what it has told me about myself, I am beautiful and I can wow people.
I don’t think that trans women should be relegated to separate beauty pageants, necessarily, if that’s what you mean, because like cis women, we are women, and that diversity should be represented in the mainstream, not cordoned off so that people can safely ignore it. Beauty pageants, in general, should be a platform to celebrate all forms of beauty, not just one ideal.
Monika: Are you actively involved in your local LGBT community?
Kat: I’m involved on campus here, I do panels about LGBT issues and have been asked to do some trans education workshops. People around here read my articles, though, and more people around here know who I am than I had initially thought. It’s been amazing to see how much of an impact sharing my experiences has had on others in the community.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are afraid of early transition, discrimination, and hatred?
Kat: It’s not as bad as you think it’ll be. Most people, even here in East Tennessee, are accepting, even if they don’t understand. I realize I’ve been in a privileged situation in being accepted by my family and peers, but I’ve been encouraged by the responses from strangers who learn that I am trans, some of whom are now friends, and the effort that ordinary people are making to educate themselves about transgender issues.
I don’t want anyone to be scared, and if it is your life and you feel like it is the right thing for you, transition. It is the biggest step you can take in being authentic and happy, and you deserve happiness, a sense of integrity, purpose, and peace. There’s a big community of trans people out there who will help you every step of the way. We’re brothers and sisters, and we stick together. Finding your tribe can be one of the most empowering parts of the journey.
Monika: What is your next step at the moment, and where do you see yourself in the next 5-7 years?
Kat: I really can’t say. My life in the past year and a half of advocacy has been a ride that I never would have imagined as a possibility. I’ve talked to really cool people doing really cool things, and I’ve been and am currently involved in projects that are exciting and that I believe will further acceptance of trans people.
My writing is reaching new eyes every day, and new opportunities are opening up all over the place. I’m a big fan of Joseph Campbell, though, and I really believe in his idea of “following your bliss." I try to do that, and I view my life as an adventure. I think I kind of have to as well because I don’t really know what I am doing. I have to trust in myself and my decisions and the possibility of succeeding at what I do. It’s gotten me this far, at least. Wherever I end up, I hope it’s a place where I’m doing meaningful work and continuing to learn and grow.
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Kat: I think I am very happy. I have my ups and downs for sure, but the comparison now to before or even early in my transition is striking. I feel happy, confident, and strong. I know I’m capable of doing whatever I set my mind to. And I plan to succeed and prove all the naysayers, past, present, and future, wrong. There are still challenges, of course, but I’ve learned to embrace them and use them as stepping stones for growth.
Monika: Kat, it was a pleasure to interview you. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!
All the photos: courtesy of Kat Haché.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
