Her videos were more than personal diary entries, they were lifelines for people searching for connection, clarity, and hope. Over the years, Erin has shared her journey with honesty, humor, and a grounded wisdom that continues to inspire. Whether speaking at rallies, mentoring young trans people, or running HIV testing programs for transgender women of color, she has always chosen to lead with heart. Today, Grishno is not just a woman who transitioned, she is a woman who transforms. A passionate advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, a visionary leader aiming to launch her own non-profit, and a fierce believer in community, she embodies the grace and grit of a new generation of changemakers. So, grab a cup of tea, settle in, and meet the remarkable woman behind the camera.
Monika: Hello, Grishno! I’m so thrilled we finally get to do this interview. I’ve been hoping to chat with you for a long time. You’ve inspired so many of us in the trans community, myself included, with your honesty and bravery.
Grishno: Hi Monika! That’s so kind of you to say. I’m really happy to be here and excited to finally have this conversation with you.
Monika: For those who may be meeting you for the first time, could you introduce yourself and share a bit about your journey?
Grishno: Sure. My name is Erin Armstrong, but many people know me as Grishno online. I was assigned male at birth, but transitioned from male to female when I was 20. It was not an easy choice to make at the time, and it has cost me a lot, including my relationship with parts of my family, but looking back now, almost 10 years later, I wouldn’t change a thing.
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| #TheTransView - Introduction (YouTube) |
Monika: What inspired you to start sharing your transition story on YouTube, especially at a time when so few people were doing it?
Grishno: I first started doing video blogs on YouTube in 2006, only a year or two after the site started. At the time, I was living in NYC, where it is really hard to meet new people. I had friends, sure, but none of them were trans*, and I felt like I was missing that in my life. I decided to make my first video as a way of reaching out to other people like me, and wouldn’t you know it… we’re everywhere.
Monika: How do you currently define your place in your transition journey, and has your understanding of it evolved over time?
Monika: How do you currently define your place in your transition journey, and has your understanding of it evolved over time?
Grishno: I’m not sure what you would call it… I just identify as a trans* woman. I suppose if you had to label me, I’d say I’m a post-op trans woman, but I don’t put a lot of stock in labels. Transition, for me, is a journey, a journey that is different for everyone. I’ve been on that journey for nearly 10 years, and I’ve come a long way. Over time, I’ve realized that transition isn’t just about physical changes but about growing into my true self emotionally and mentally. It’s a continuous process of learning, healing, and self-acceptance. I now understand that my identity is fluid and evolving, which makes the journey all the more meaningful.
Monika: How has hormone therapy impacted your life, both physically and emotionally, and do you feel it has lived up to your expectations?
Grishno: OMG YES! We live in an era where so much is possible. In just the last few generations, the medical options for transgender people have exploded. The fact that I can even get on HRT or have a surgical procedure like GRS is absolutely mind-blowing to me.
That being said, I still think there is a long way to go. I would give almost anything to carry a child the way most other women can, and that’s something that just isn’t possible yet. That’s not to say it’s not close. I have no doubt that within the next 50–100 years we’ll see the first transgender woman giving birth, or the first transgender man fathering a child.
Monika: What was your childhood like, and when did you first sense that your gender identity didn’t align with being a boy?
Grishno: I grew up in a small Utah town just south of Salt Lake City. It was a nice place to grow up, sure, but it was a terrible place to be different. For as long as I can remember, I had always wanted to be a girl. It was a very serious part of my life growing up, but one that I learned to hide early on. I remember feeling isolated and scared to share my true feelings with anyone, fearing rejection or worse. Despite the challenges, I found comfort in small moments of self-expression whenever I could. Looking back, those early feelings were the foundation of the person I was meant to become.
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| Preparing to speak at a rally in the wake of the murder of a local Trans woman. |
Monika: Many transgender women describe their school or college years as especially challenging due to discrimination and isolation. Was that true for you as well?
Grishno: Well, I think that is a traumatic time for anyone, really. The transition from child to adult is something that is difficult no matter who you are.
Add to that a transition from one gender to another, and it’s no surprise that this can be one of the hardest times for trans people. That being said, I don’t know that it has so much to do with school as it does with how far into a transition someone is.
For me, the hardest part of my transition was the first year. I was still living in Utah, and yeah, I was in college at the time, but the reason it was hard was because I was going through that transition alone. I didn’t know anyone else who was trans (except online), and that was something that was hard.
At the same time, I was also going from being a white, cisgender male, the most privileged group in our society, to a transgender woman, one of the least privileged groups. That transition is jarring, especially if one is oblivious to the privilege they have (which I very much was at the time). The one thing I can say is that things get easier with time.
Monika: Were there any transgender individuals who inspired or guided you during your transition, and who inspires you today?
Grishno: When I first came out as trans, I found the book She’s Not There by Jenny Boylan, and for a long time she was the person I most looked up to in the trans community. She’s an amazing woman and, to this day, is an amazing activist and role model, but I’d have to say that my main inspirations now are Janet Mock and Laverne Cox. Transgender women of color are among the most marginalized class of people you will find anywhere, and the fact that these two women are out there kicking ass and taking names is amazing! Their courage and visibility have opened doors for many of us and continue to inspire new generations. I also find inspiration in everyday trans people who live authentically despite challenges. It reminds me that activism and strength come in many forms, not just from the spotlight.
Monika: Coming out is often a rollercoaster of emotions and reactions. What part of that experience was the most challenging for you?
Grishno: I had a strange coming out. I set a goal for myself of transitioning within a month of finding out that it was possible. That meant I didn’t have much time to let everyone know. So what I did was give myself a week (I called it my ‘coming out week’) in which to come out to everyone in my life. Sure, it was hard to do, but at the same time, I felt such a weight being lifted off of me.
One thing I’ll never forget, though, is that you never know how people are going to react. Some of the people I thought would have a huge problem with it actually ended up being my biggest allies, and some of the people I thought would support me the most ended up cutting me out of their lives as a result. Losing people is hard, and it happens, but in the end, if someone is not willing to be your friend or family because of something like this, then they weren’t really your friend or family to begin with.
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TIMELAPSE: 6 Years of Vlogs in Under 60 Seconds!!! (YouTube) |
Monika: How do you see the current state of life for transgender women in the U.S.? Have you noticed any major shifts since you first came out?
Grisgno: When I look back at where things were when I came out, and where they are now, it’s like night and day… and that hasn’t really even been that long. I think things are going in a very positive direction, but I think there is a VERY long way to go. Awareness and acceptance have grown significantly, and more transgender women are finding supportive communities and resources. However, legal protections and social attitudes still lag behind in many places. It’s important to keep pushing for change and to support one another along the way.
Monika: In recent years, we’ve seen a growing number of transgender women stepping into the public eye, some even achieving celebrity status, like Lana Wachowski in filmmaking, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Do you see this rise in visibility as part of a broader trend?
Grishno: The trend that I see as having the biggest impact is that people aren’t just coming out more and more… they’re coming out younger. When I came out at the age of 20, I remember people telling me how jealous they were that I’d transitioned so early in life, but now kids are transitioning at the age of 5 or 6.
This wouldn’t be possible without the amazing work of activists and advocates who came before us, but it’s also due in large part to the world-shrinking effect of the internet. I didn’t even know that transgender people existed until I met a trans woman online.
Now any parent who has a gender non-conforming child can go online and find out exactly what is going on, and figure out ways to handle it. That just didn’t exist when I was growing up. On top of that, there has been a huge explosion of visibility for trans people. We are everywhere, and that gives young children who are questioning their gender a new narrative to follow.
Monika: Do you consider yourself politically active? Have you participated in any lobbying or advocacy efforts? More broadly, do you believe that transgender women can influence politics and bring about meaningful change?
Grishno: Yes, yes, and yes!!! I’m a hugely political person and am very actively trying to change the world. Whether that is calling or writing my congressperson, or getting involved in local or statewide policy decisions that affect trans people, I truly do believe that it is possible to change the world.
The trick is that you actually have to do something. If you don’t speak up, then no one will hear you. Politics can feel overwhelming at times, but small actions add up and create real momentum. I encourage every trans woman to find their own way to engage, whether big or small. Our voices are powerful, and together we can shape a more inclusive future.
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| I always seek to challenge myself. Pushing my limits is something I do best. |
Monika: Are you into fashion at all? What’s your go-to style, anything you love wearing, or do you prefer to keep things simple and practical?
Grishno: Haha, you are asking the wrong girl about this. I’m the type of girl who almost exclusively wears pants and am more likely to have dirt on my face than makeup. Comfort and practicality always come first for me, so I tend to avoid flashy trends or complicated outfits. I do enjoy finding a good pair of shoes or a jacket that feels just right, though. At the end of the day, I dress for myself, not to impress anyone else.
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Do you see them as positive spaces, or do you think there are potential downsides?
Grishno: I think that beauty pageants, whether they’re for trans women only or for all women, can be a wonderful thing. I also think that focusing solely on looks and beauty can have a damaging effect. I think it’s important to strike a balance between holding up the beauty found in our communities and not setting unrealistic expectations. At their best, these pageants can empower and uplift transgender women, providing visibility and a sense of community. However, it’s crucial to remain critical of how they might reinforce narrow standards of beauty. Ultimately, they should celebrate diversity and authenticity above all else.
Monika: How active are you in your local LGBT community? Could you share some of the ways you’ve contributed or been involved?
Grishno: I’m very involved in my local LGBT community. For the last several years, I worked at a local non-profit running an HIV testing program for transgender women of color. Now that I’m back in school, I’m involved with the Gay-Straight Alliance.
I lead a Gender Diversity Support group at the school and worked with administrators to install the school’s first all-gender restroom. Getting involved and giving back is something that is incredibly important to me. The LGBT (especially the T) community has given so much to me, and I want to pay it forward.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are afraid of beginning their transition because of potential discrimination and hatred?
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are afraid of beginning their transition because of potential discrimination and hatred?
Grishno: The one message I think everyone should know going into a transition is that they are not alone. Transition is a hard thing to go through, especially when you’re just starting out, and that’s why it’s so important to find a support network that you can rely on when the going gets tough. Things won’t always be easy, but that’s why we’ve got to stick together and help each other out. It’s also important to be patient with yourself and allow your journey to unfold at your own pace. Surround yourself with people who truly understand and uplift you. Remember, your courage to live authentically is already a powerful act of resistance against discrimination.
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| "Legitimate" Transsexual (YouTube) |
Monika: What are your immediate goals right now, and where do you see yourself in the next five to seven years?
Grishno: Last year I returned to school to finish my BA and pursue an MBA. This is all part of a five-year plan that I set for myself, which ends with me either running or starting my own non-profit focused on improving the lives of transgender people everywhere.
It’s so rare to see trans people, especially trans women, at the helm of organizations like that, but I think it’s important that our voices are heard at all levels. Beyond that, I hope to one day run for public office here in California, but would love to take that even further. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be the first transgender congresswoman. Dream big, I say!
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman today?
Grishno: When I compare my mental state now to where I was 10 years ago, it’s astonishing to see how far I’ve come. I struggled for years with depression and anxiety, things I still struggle with from time to time, but they are no longer the everyday presence they once were. Life can be hard, no matter how far along you are in your transition, but when I look in the mirror now, I love who I see, and that means the world to me.
Monika: Grishno, it was a pleasure to interview you.
Grishno: Thanks a lot! My pleasure!!
All the photos: courtesy of Grishno.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
