In the heart of the American South, where tradition often meets resistance to change, lives a woman whose courage shines brighter than any challenge she’s faced. Sarah Jordan, a vibrant video blogger from South Carolina, invites the world into her life through a lens of honesty, vulnerability, and hope. For over three years, she has shared her transition journey on YouTube, not as a way to seek fame, but to offer a mirror to others who might be walking the same uncertain path. Sarah’s story is one of persistence, loss, and ultimately, love. Her childhood memories are laced with both the joy of discovering her true self and the heartbreak of being told that self was unacceptable. As a tall, proud transgender woman, Sarah has faced not only the internal trials of transition, but also the harsh judgment of her surroundings. She navigates the complexities of living authentically in a place where being different can still draw stares and cruelty.
Yet, even in those moments, Sarah meets the world with grace. “Smile,” she says, her quiet way of pushing back against the weight of discrimination. What makes Sarah’s journey so deeply moving isn’t only the struggle, it’s the light she’s built from the darkness. From a loving relationship that grounds her, to the simple pleasures of shopping sprees and favorite colors like purple and pink, Sarah reminds us that womanhood is as much about joy as it is about endurance. She doesn’t pretend to be part of a perfect fairytale. Her words are raw, her pain real. But so is her strength. In a world where trans visibility is growing but acceptance is still fragile, Sarah Jordan stands as a voice not of celebrity, but of everyday heroism. Her story isn’t polished, it’s powerful. And in telling it, she offers comfort, clarity, and community to those who need it most. Let’s meet Sarah.
Monika: Today, I’m thrilled to be chatting with Sarah Jordan, a brave and inspiring young American video blogger who shares her transition journey with honesty and heart on YouTube. Hi Sarah, thank you so much for being here!
Sarah: Hi Monika, thank you for having me! I’m really happy to be here and share my story.
Monika: Would you please tell us a little about yourself and your journey so far?
Sarah: I’m Sarah, a Trans* woman from South Carolina! I have been in transition now for about three years. I face many challenges and discrimination as a Southern transgender woman, even from family, friends, and especially the public. Even though life gets really tough sometimes, I never regret my choice to stop hiding and live free! I’m very fortunate to have a supportive, loving boyfriend who knows when to push me forward and when to hold me tight!
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| 3 years HRT. Happy today. |
Monika: What inspired you to start sharing your transition journey on YouTube, and how has that experience impacted you?
Sarah: When I first started vlogging on YouTube, it was to document my transition as I went through my first hormone treatments and to follow my journey. Vlogging was also a way to express how I was feeling about life and my transition. The more videos I made, the more I realized that other people needed to hear an honest and real transgender woman tell the truth about her life!
I felt I needed to share the highs and lows of accepting yourself, as well as the struggle and pain of family, friends, and society’s acceptance of being a transgender woman! The more videos I made, the more it became like free therapy, allowing me to express my most intimate struggles and acceptance of my new life!
Monika: Can you tell us where you currently are in your transition journey?
Sarah: I have been on Hormone Replacement Therapy now for just over three years. I still have not been able to afford any surgeries or even a name change. I have to live two separate lives because of my job. I can’t afford to just quit because it would be irresponsible, I wouldn’t be able to afford hormone therapy, doctor visits, clothes, makeup, or anything important to my life. I have only myself to rely on, and that’s how it should be, so I’m scared to quit and have nothing to fall back on! I have several goals still to achieve, and as long as I continue to push forward, I know I can reach them!
Monika: How do you feel about the results of your hormone therapy so far?
Sarah: I am somewhat satisfied with HRT. I have had favorable results in my facial changes and some other physical changes, such as softer skin and fuller hips. It is sometimes frustrating to experience such extreme mood swings, but after changing the regimen a few times, it’s getting better. Overall, I love the results!
Monika: Could you share some memories from your childhood? When did you first realize you didn’t identify as a boy or a man?
Sarah: When I was about 4, our family moved to Montana, and that’s the first time I remember expressing myself as female. I was out walking and made a new friend, a little boy, and I introduced myself as Sarah. I felt more confident, brave, and free as the girl I knew I was! I was plagued my whole life by feelings that I wanted to be like the other girls. I was tortured by their freedom to be feminine and free, and not have to put on a façade so as to not be chastised for my behavior.
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| 21 Months (YouTube) |
Monika: Did you grow up with siblings? How did your sisters influence your journey?
Sarah: I was fortunate to have sisters: two older and one younger, and throughout my life, my older sisters handed me down clothes, which became my wardrobe. I was about 7 when I remember wearing one of the dance costumes my oldest sister had. I remember how it made me feel beautiful, special, and free all at the same time. I was so proud and confident in myself that I put on a dance show for my sister and mother! I learned that day that it was unacceptable! I was told it was wrong and that normal kids don’t do those things! I was crushed! The feeling that I was not supposed to be one of the boys was already so deep in my heart that I could not stop it from running my life!
Monika: How did you cope with those feelings?
Sarah: I managed to learn how to suppress the outward expression of my true feelings. I pushed those feelings deep down and never let them overtake my outward life. I learned to mimic the boys and to be accepted into their world as one of them. I wanted to turn away from feeling feminine so life would be less complicated, but it was always with me, and every day I hated myself for feeling that way! I was in my early 30s before it became clear I would never be free of the way I thought. I would always be haunted by the feeling that I was never going to be like the other guys. I wanted to be a woman! I was already a woman in my heart and mind and always had been, but I had to push those feelings deep inside and hide my true self!
Monika: Was there a specific moment or person that helped you finally embrace your true self?
Sarah: When I was ready to accept that I was never going to stop feeling like I was the wrong sex! I finally “came out” to a friend whom I barely knew. She called me out when I did an “impersonation” of my sisters. She told me that it seemed to her like my “impersonation” was really just me letting my true self shine! I was floored and came clean about how I felt, how my whole life I felt like I was hiding the woman within. She put her arms around me and gave me a comforting hug. She was the first person to ever be accepting and supportive of my desire to transition to female. I was ready to begin! I shed a tremendous weight, literally and figuratively, I lost 150 lbs over the course of a year and a half, and began to allow my true self to run my life!
Monika: Was it a point of no return?
Monika: Was it a point of no return?
Sarah: I came out to friends and family, and it all went terribly, I lost a lot of friends and isolated my family. I lived as female for a year before starting psychological therapy, each day challenging myself to experience some part of life as female. It was little things like going to a gas station, movies, or being around a close group of accepting friends.
I began psychological therapy, then hormone treatment, and that’s where I am today. There is still strain with family, it’s give and take. For every step forward we make, it seems like we take two giant leaps back. I have no regrets, and even though I am not as far as I would like to be, I am still proud of what I have accomplished and glad I made the choice to accept myself!
I began psychological therapy, then hormone treatment, and that’s where I am today. There is still strain with family, it’s give and take. For every step forward we make, it seems like we take two giant leaps back. I have no regrets, and even though I am not as far as I would like to be, I am still proud of what I have accomplished and glad I made the choice to accept myself!
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| Coming out New Years Eve 2010. |
Monika: Many transgender women say their most challenging and traumatic experiences happen during school, college, or university due to discrimination. How was it for you? Did you face similar difficulties during your education, or was it different?
Sarah: For me, the most discrimination I face is at work. It has been made clear to me that me being transgender is not acceptable according to the company’s values. It is the most difficult thing I face on a daily basis. I have come so far and worked so hard to get to where I am, yet as long as I work this job, I will continue to be discriminated against.
I have tried applying to other jobs, and there are a couple of companies that have EEO policies in place; however, being in the South, I face discrimination and have been unable to get past the initial interview with those companies.
I also have faced, and still face, a lot of discrimination in public. Southerners are resistant to change and afraid of what they don’t understand! I get stares, snickers, pointing, laughing, and snide comments behind my back everywhere I go!
Sometimes I feel like screaming, and other times all I can do is cry. When I feel like I can’t take it anymore, I remember: always be yourself! That’s been my mantra for as long as I can remember. I know I can get through it all because there is no going back , I’m finally free! I am proud to live as myself and not have to hide who I am anymore.
Sometimes I feel like screaming, and other times all I can do is cry. When I feel like I can’t take it anymore, I remember: always be yourself! That’s been my mantra for as long as I can remember. I know I can get through it all because there is no going back , I’m finally free! I am proud to live as myself and not have to hide who I am anymore.
Monika: Have you had any transgender role models who inspired you along your journey, or do you draw inspiration from somewhere else?
Sarah: I have never really had any transgender role models. I am inspired by anyone brave and strong enough to accept who they are and live as themselves!
Monika: Looking back, what was the most difficult part of coming out to your family and friends?
Sarah: The hardest thing about my coming out was the loss. I lost so many relationships. I lost friends that I had been close to for over 20 years, they just stopped speaking to me. My sisters no longer visit me or allow me into their homes or lives; I am not allowed to visit my nieces or nephew.
The worst pain of all is the strain on my relationship with my parents. Growing up, we were all very close, and throughout my adult life, I grew even closer to them. My parents have tried to be more accepting than other family members; however, it seems like whenever we make progress in our relationship, it suddenly stops and goes backwards, and we have to start all over again.
Monika: How do you see the current situation for transgender women in the United States today?
Sarah: In America, we are lucky to have the freedom to be who we want to be. I am so glad to see more and more acceptance of transgender women. The media is slowly accepting transgender women more and portraying us in a positive light. I hope that will lead to further acceptance by the general population and have a positive effect on future rights for transgender persons.
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| 150lb weight lost. |
Monika: Today, we see more transgender women coming out and gaining recognition. Unlike before, some have become celebrities or well-known figures, like Lana Wachowski in film directing, Jenna Talackova in modeling, Kate Bornstein in academia, Laura Jane Grace in music, and Candis Cayne in acting. Have you noticed this same trend?
Sarah: I am glad to see strong, beautiful transgender women being strong for the rest of us. I’m so happy to witness how successful transgender women can become in a society that still doesn’t fully accept or understand us!
Monika: Are you involved in politics or participate in any lobbying efforts? Do you believe transgender women can make an impact in the political arena?
Sarah: I don’t follow politics, and I don’t participate in lobbying campaigns. I don’t view transgender women as any less capable than anyone else. I think it would be difficult for a transgender woman to make a difference in politics because of all the discrimination she would face.
Monika: How do you feel about fashion? What kind of outfits do you usually wear? Are there any particular styles, colors, or trends you prefer?
Sarah: I don’t follow trends so much, but I do love to shop! I recently went on a shopping spree! My style is just to wear what makes me feel great. Usually, that means showing off a bit, short skirts, sleeveless dresses, anything that makes me feel confident and sexy.
My favorite color is purple, followed by pink, red, and blue. I wear flats or sandals with most outfits; however, on special occasions, I do wear heels. I normally avoid heels because I’m already tall, I’m 6’5”, and I don’t want to draw even more attention by adding 3 or more inches of height!
Monika: What are your thoughts on transgender beauty pageants? Have you participated in or followed any yourself?
Sarah: I have seen several beauty pageants from Asia, but not many here in the US. I think it’s perfectly fine to take part in a beauty pageant. In the South, we love beauty pageants. I was jealous every time I went to one! I always wanted to be in a pageant and wear one of those gorgeous gowns!
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| First time not wearing a wig. |
Monika: Are you involved in your local LGBT community? How has that experience been for you?
Sarah: I recently joined a group and met with them once; I will not be returning. I know it sounds bad, but I don’t really relate to the LGBT community or culture. I don’t feel like I fit in with them, other than sharing the experience of accepting that you are different and having to “come out” to others. Being transgender is a whole different world. Changing your gender identity to match that of the opposite sex comes with a unique set of challenges.
Monika: What advice would you give to transgender women who are afraid to begin their transition because of fear of discrimination and hatred?
Sarah: When you’re ready to accept who you are, then you will, don’t be afraid to be yourself! Other people will discriminate against you no matter what you do or who you are! Hatred is real, so be mindful and honest all the time, especially in relationships. Fight hatred and discrimination with kindness. Even when the snickers and stares are too much and I want to be rude back, I remember to just smile.
Monika: What are your next steps right now, and where do you envision yourself in the next 5 to 7 years?
Sarah: I see myself in 5 to 7 years married, happy, and successful!
Monika: Would you say that you are a happy woman now?
Sarah: I am happy that I accepted myself and was able to feel free and even find love. I have a lot more to accomplish before I can feel fully happy, personal goals and dreams that I’ve yet to achieve. Some are transition-related, such as surgery in the future to enhance my vision of the woman I see myself as.
Monika: Sarah, it’s been a real pleasure interviewing you. Thank you so much!
Sarah: Thank you! It was challenging to dig so deeply into myself, but I’m glad I did.
All the photos: courtesy of Sarah Jordan.
© 2014 - Monika Kowalska
